Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Showing posts with label Days of Thunder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Days of Thunder. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Bodies

Off the Mark and Days of Thunder brings today's comic page theme - strategically placed props

Speaking of the human body check out this slide show from the New York Times. The stats are mind boggling and given the diversity of body types all these athletes consume about the same amount of calories.

Boxing fascinates me because of the wide range of sizes that participate. From nbcolympics.com:
Weight classes (kilogram amounts are official)
• Light flyweight (Up to 48kg/106 lbs)
• Flyweight (Over 48kg/106 lbs up to 51kg/112 lbs)
• Bantamweight (Over 51kg/112 lbs up to 54kg/119 lbs)
• Featherweight (Over 54kg/119 lbs up to 57kg/126 lbs)
• Lightweight (Over 57kg/126 lbs up to 60kg/132 lbs)
• Light welterweight (Over 60kg/132 lbs up to 64kg/141 lbs)
• Welterweight (Over 64kg/141 lbs up to 69 kg/152 lbs)
• Middleweight (Over 69kg/152 lbs up to 75 kg/165 lbs)
• Light heavyweight (Over 75 kg/165 lbs up to 81kg/179 lbs)
• Heavyweight (Over 81 kg/179 lbs up to 91 kg/201 lbs)
• Super heavyweight (Over 91kg/201 lbs)

Athleticism comes in all shapes, sizes and ages.

Yesterday, I did my jump rope for the Gold's Gym Games: 1 minute 36.44 seconds. This is a personal best according to the way I count (I count the number of times I go over the rope): 102. Then I ran 4 miles and never felt lighter on my feet. I need to add jump rope to my regular training routine. My coordination has improved as well as my running.

Later today I do the leg press. 155 or 160 pounds depending on what the gym scale says today. I'm weighing with my shoes on because I wear them while working out.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Single Panel Goodness and Mary Worth

Three gags that I wish I had thought of:



The people in the first panel see something horrible, avert their eyes and quickly walk away but some cannot help but keep looking as they walk away from the horror inside the Bum Boat.

The stuffed fish on the paneled wall in the second panel are named Sailor and Fred. Wait, let's trend it up: Psaylor and Phred.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Oh no she didn't!

Charterstone should hire this guy for the next pool party.
Oh yes she did! Mary pulls out the "saved your life" card. Mary did not donate body parts or fluid, she got on an airplane and then made some phone calls. Mary don't know anything about saving a life.

Bonus deflected backhand in second panel. Haven't seen this much action in Mary Worth since Dawn slapped Drew.

Today's strip could be the start of an interesting plot. Nobody hears from Mary for weeks. Jeff figures out who the person that Mary kept referring to prior to her disappearance. He finds Rich Amalfi, who explains that his brother Ron has some serious mental issues which were made worse by caring for their mother and her death. Jeff and Rich track down Ron and find that he is holding Mary hostage and "caring for her". Jeff and Rich rescue Mary. Jeff says to Mary, "Now that's saving a life and the effort is worth at least one blow job, you meddling biddy!"

I've invented a scale to measure the difference between the potential interest in a Mary Worth plot and what Karen Moy actually delivers. In honor of Aldo Kelrast, I named the units Kelrasts. If Karen Moy does deliver something similar to what I've described above then the plot would be 0 Kelrasts. If she delivers a lame apology from Jeff and allows Mary to continue her meddling without consequences then the plot would rate 10 Kelrasts. The Kelrast scale can go into negative numbers, especially if the term, 'blow job' appears in a Mary Worth strip, regardless of context - fellatio or landscaping.

Summary of the Kelrast Scale: the lower the number, the more interesting the plot.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Christmas Light Chicken

I received in the mail yesterday a copy of the New Yorker Complete Book of Cartoons. The book has two CDs with every cartoon published in the New Yorker from 1924 to 2004. I bought the paperback version and this book weighs a lot. If I want to keep reading the book in bed I will need to sit up in order to avoid organ damage. Last night, I read the first decade while on my back. Thankfully, I have abs of steel and blankets to support the weight of this tome but even my fabulous abs could not support this book for more than 30 minutes. Also, the book is huge - we will need a bigger coffee table for it. Entertainment and exercise in one volume.


Whenever I get around to it, my next comic strip music video will feature Ed Crankshaft, using Isaac Hayes' Theme to Shaft. That Ed Crankshaft is one bad mother - Shut your mouth - I'm only talking about 'Shaft. I don't know what surprises me more - the Crankshaft household having that many hair dryers or Ed Crankshaft not owning a high powered heat blower.

According to Mary Worth and Me the song is Waiting for a Star to Fall by Boy Meets Girl. It's a song from the 1980's that receives very little air play - thankfully. Go to Mary Worth and Me if you feel like hearing it. Fortunately, that blog has some other fine lounge music. I'm surprised that Karen Moy is aware of anything from the 1980's. Then again, she could be close to my age and Drew and Vera could be written as people in their late 30's. Shudder.

In twenty years, Snoop Dogg's Sensual Seduction (more likely, a white person's cover of the song), will make it to the Junction Cafe jukebox.

Vera - enough with the purple! A purple Michelin Man coat, a purple blazer and a purple skirt? Angling for an appearance on What Not to Wear - the comic strip edition? Vera, you're too young for the Red Hat Society, so please stop dressing like them.

This comic strip reflect part of my job. Paperless office - not as long as we have people that cannot stare at a monitor for too long.

A comic peeve: inappropriate aging of characters. Is there a law mandating that every comic parent be of boomer age even if they are too old to be parents of the children in the comic? I estimate that the children in Soup to Nutz are between the ages of 8 and 12. Let's assume that the parents were 12 during the Cuban Missile Crisis - born in 1950. Wikipedia claims that the duck and cover was taught into the 1980's - but I'm going to go by my experience and assume that the parents went to elementary school in the 1950's and early 1960's. Both parents would be in their late 50's and would have had their first born in their late 40's. It is possible that the parents went to one of those schools that still taught duck and cover in the 1980's. The odd parental aging thing also appears in Curtis. The Duncans in Zits are of boomer age but their sons are in college and high school - a more realistic age.

I want to get this joke. Someone attempt to explain.

About the title of this blog entry - we, the next door neighbors and the neighbors across the street appear to be playing Christmas Light chicken. None of us has taken down our lights yet. If our lights stay up then there will be no nagging - the neighbors have taken down their lights, why don't you take down ours? The next door neighbor has the most elaborate set up with animated reindeer. Ours is the simplest - lights draped in a tree. The lights along our front walkway have been brought in and I put the Christmas trees up last Saturday.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I love lead!

Robert Lovely did not have access to an actual Barbie doll so he used the female figure from one of the anatomy books that most artists have around the house. I think Lovely did what I often do - draw the picture then come up with a gag.

I haven't looked at a Barbie doll in over a year and do not pay attention too closely to the commercials when ever I watch SpongeBob Squarepants so I could be unaware of Mattel's efforts to reproportion Barbie. I will find out later this week at Radio M*A*S*H.

I could recreate the above cartoon with one of the many less than gently used Barbies that get donated every year.

This year, the toy drive will have a poster depicting all the recalled toys. We could have a Barbie shortage.

The question that I have whenever another toy recall makes the news: There is an acceptable level of lead?

...because most of the lead is in the flakes.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

This Made Sense Earlier

I've often though that myself - this made sense earlier. Wheat grass tastes nasty.


Mock meat with a fake hair - ha!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Love is...

I missed it! One of the two days a week that I don't read Mary Worth and I miss the big kiss. I found it on Comics Curmudgeon. Walter and I attempted to recreate the pose but failed. We concluded it was only possible if Walter's nose had some kind of niche that my nose could fit into. Love is a willingness to recreate poses from Mary Worth comics just for my gratification. A little something that was not in the marriage vows but Walter did it anyway.



Today's comics:

Thel goes retro today.

This is one of the great comics that newspaper editors could have selected but instead they choose to run crap. Little Dee will continue to run at Littledee.net. Bookmark it. Add it to your daily reading list. This comic deserves a huge readership.

But can you still smoke anywhere?

Monday, July 23, 2007

99 Bottle of Beer on the Wall

This depicts my meditation yesterday. The monkey mind was going wild. Get back on the cushion and try again. Or not try. The cartoon is funnier given Buddhism's admonition against consuming substances that cloud the mind.

News Flash! Everyone's teen years were painful. Dawn does not know how to flirt and is starting to scare Dr. Drew Corey. He has moved from the seat next to Dawn and moved to the seat across from her. Even scarier is that people have come in, eaten and left since this dinner has gone on. People disappeared between panels.

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Proud auntie moment: my older nephew was mentioned in Dale Campbell's 2007 Texas Football magazine as a prospect to watch in the next high school football season. I bought a copy of the magazine and scanned the cover and page he was mentioned. I will send it to the rest of the family. We are all proud of him. I'm sure he will live up to the "hype".

I was the only person in the Barnes and Noble that day that did not buy the last Harry Potter book. I bought a Star Trek book, an anthology of Tales from the Captain's Table.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Find the gag

Jeez, Dr. Jeff! Why are you still speaking to your adult son like that? Every child knows that the speech in panel one translates as, "I'm going to tell you to do something totally unpleasant." Mary curtails the sense of dread by revealing that the task is attending a pool party. Drew is visibly relieved that he is not being asked to clean the gutters or something. Drew has never attended a Charterstone pool party, he might prefer cleaning the gutters after attending this party.


Somebody find the gag for me. Looks like the Dallas skyline in the background.


Last night, I used my PDA (a Palm Zire m150, in case anyone cares) to waste about 2 hours.