A full month of Mary Worthlessness

Day 31 - one full month of Mary Worthless Mary Worth. Drew, use caution when pressing your hand into your face. You're distorting your face.

How to make the Vera hallucinations stop? Drew, you could make it to Nevada in about 8 hours and enjoy the services provided by one of the legal brothels. It may not heal the heartache but it will provide a distraction for you and the readers. Badly drawn sex has to be more interesting than this plot. Or move this thing indoors so that readers can at least look at some shifting backgrounds.

Come on, Mary Lou, quickly straighten out one leg and your problems will disappear.

The sun shining through my window and brightening my office prevents me from getting too depressed about the fact that I have brain space devoted to the names of Sonya Hobbes' children. Oh, god, I know Momma's full name!

Cats dominated today's comics (excluding the cat-oriented strips, 9 comics featured cats). Two dealt with using cats as tools.

I have lots of recipes from SparkPeople in my e-mail archives that I have not tried. One could probably fit the complete works of Shakespeare in that amount of space.

Went to the dentist today. Got a clean bill of dental health. My blood pressure is 104/51 and pulse 54. Apparently, my dentist has hired someone to converse with while poking around in my mouth. Nothing like inane conversation to make the dental experience more pleasant.

Which came first?

I'm sure people in that line of work refer to themselves as cheese slicers. Machines probably do that kind of thing but someone has to run the cheese slicing machine. I bet the person who runs the machine has heard every cheese cutting joke there is. After 38 years on this planet I still giggle at "cut the cheese" jokes so maybe the cheese slicing machine operator really enjoys his/her job and loves to tell people that he/she cuts the cheese for a living. I would.

On the topic of UU classism and humor - would the hypothetical cheese slicing machine operator feel welcome in our churches and would we laugh at the cheese cutting jokes?

Great parody of Family Circus and playing with a semi-regular character.

The Egg McMuffin. I'm old enough to remember a world without the Chicken McNugget. I was in high school when the McNugget was introduced. I also worked at a McDonald's and know what a Chicken McNugget would turn into once it has passed its freshness time. It would turn into a briquette (a McBriquettte) when thrown with some velocity would leave a nasty bruise. It was unnatural the way the McNuggets would be fine at 19 minutes, 59 seconds but then suddenly turn into these little bricks at exactly 20 minutes. I ate and still eat McDonald's food but the short shelf life (7 minutes for a burger to 1 hour for a pie) of the food really bothered me during the time I worked at McD's.

Now that's some green living I can get behind.