Ben Franklin can go to hell

I'm trying to work out the trajectory of that slap. Maybe Dawn did a Captain Kirk karate chop on the back of Drew's head. Will Vera counter with a roundhouse kick?

So far this week, my attempts to wake up earlier have failed. I set my alarm for 5:00 am to go on a run on Saturday and have kept that setting. I can muster the strength to get out of bed to meet people to go on a run at 6:00 am but have difficulty doing the same thing to go to work. Getting up early for a run is different than getting up early to get to work on time because after the run there is time for a nap.

All the things I've read about wealthy (self-made millionaires) people say that the successful get up early in the morning. I guess I will give up some measure of success because I've tried and cannot sustain waking up before the butt crack of dawn without having to take a nap around 11:00 am.

Once I've acquired the great wealth from waking up early in the morning then I can take a nap because as a successful person I can set my own hours. In the meantime, I can enjoy the journey in a sleep deprived state. I'll skip it.

I really need to completely cut myself off from a strange little subculture that I've found myself sort of sucked into. I haven't drunk the Kool-Aid but sometimes I feel myself worn down by the copy. Fortunately, I'm not there in person so the rational mind can kick back in and I can hit delete. I think studying this little "teach you success, make you wealthy" sub-culture would be fascinating but a proper study would require getting further inside and I don't think an academic or journalist would be given access without paying the $1,000 (price will go up in two weeks). I'm not in any kind of program (academic or journalistic) that it would make sense to delve into this. My own curiosity and blog are not sufficient reasons.

First an icon:
Sartre said it better but he was French, not as funny and did not draw cartoons.

The sign in the lower right corner is a great touch. (Please inform the clerk if you are a nitwit. Thank You) My husband's employer should consider posting a sign like that. It would have to be bilingual.

The stories of stupidity does provide my husband with some entertainment and me with cartoon material. It is only funny after the nitwit has left. Dealing with the nitwit can be quite stressful during the encounter.

The second funniest thing behind fart jokes - violent accidental almost killing. My husband can tell which shotgun can cause that much damage to an easy chair.

The Flintstones in modern times.

I've often wondered how one becomes a motivational speaker. I'm not talking about people that have accomplished something in another field then asked to become speakers. I'm talking about people like Anthony Robbins and Brian Tracy. As far as my research has shown neither of these men have achieved success in other fields. They are famous only as motivational speakers/ success gurus. They have achieved success by convincing others that they understand the keys to success and for a price will share the secrets to success. The hard part would be convincing the first person to purchase your material.

Prospect: So you know the keys to success?
Guru: Yes, yes I do!
Prospect: Give me some examples of success that you have achieved using these keys.
Guru: Well, uh, this is my first business and you are my first student but it is all right here in my book, DVDs and Cd's. Everything you need to know in order to succeed.
Prospect: Call me after you have achieved success.

A vulture has to do what a vulture has to do in order to survive.

Clever gag. I wish I thought of it.

If I don't write new posts the Robin and accent thing will never make it off the main page.

I drew two cartoons this week. Busy with other things. I can take a short break because I'm 3 weeks ahead.

Right now, I'm waiting for a video to compile and save. Then I have to recompile another video because Windows Movie Maker ate 24 minutes in the middle of the video. Sort of like Nixon's gap.

Lately, I've been hearing that one of the keys to material success is to get up early in the morning. The Mad Money guy claims that the body can be trained to function on 4 hours of sleep a night. The Mad Money guy is rich but he screams a lot on television. I'll take the extra 3-4 hours and pay the price with less wealth and not screaming, on television or elsewhere.

My problem with early risers is that they won't shut up about it. They act as if it is some special virtue and that no one can achieve success unless they are out of bed at 2 hours before the butt crack of dawn. It just take discipline and training, something that, I as a late sleeper does not possess.

I've tried. My dreams are often interrupted in these attempts at early rising. I hit the snooze button on the alarm to finish the dream. I find it difficult to get out of bed after an interrupted dream. I always dream in color and I can read words. I'm told that both of these things are impossible.

I don't stay in bed until noon. I wake up on my own between 7:00 and 8:00 am. I have to be at work at 8:00 am. I have jumped out of bed to make it to 7:00 am training runs but the prospect of a nap later that morning motivated me. Most days I subvert my own natural sleep cycle.

My point is that being an early riser does not make you a better person. No, seriously, shut the fuck up right now. I don't need training, I have plenty of discipline. Stop. Please tattoo the following into your brain:

YOU ARE NOT A SUPERIOR BEING JUST BECAUSE YOU WAKE UP EARLY!

Annoying, yes; superior, no.

Somebody had to tend the fires overnight. While your early rising ass is stuggling to stay awake at 3:00 pm, I'm revved up and getting things done. No Robert Goulet gremlin in my office.

So I won't learn a new language, gain great wealth nor become a leader of extraordinary magnitude with the extra two hours that I give up for sleep. At least I'll be well rested and less annoying.

Sweet technicolor dreams.