Last week I ran 20.97 miles and burned 2542.9 calories.
This week I ran 22.2 miles and burned 2322.6 calories and weigh 169.8 pounds.

October 2: 3.84 miles in 45:00
October 4: 3.02 miles in 35:00
October 6: 3.99 miles in 45:00
October 7: 10.12 miles in 2:08:00
October 10: 3.91 miles in 45:00
October 11: 3.08 miles in 35:00
October 13: 4.06 miles in 45:00
October 14: 11.15 miles in 2:13:00. This includes about 5 minutes of petting a cat. The cat fulfilled one of its purposes in life - to take away some dignity from a human. While I was bent down petting the cat, it jumped up on my back and made itself at home. I did not want to bend up for fear of having my backside clawed. It jumped off my back when another runner came around and saw me bent over with a cat on my back. What is the use of taking some dignity from a human if there is not another human to witness it?

I have a new foster dog. His name is Isaac. He is a 95 pound hound mix. Very calm. He is not ready for adoptions yet. He needs shots and neutering.

I've made some new clip art but the last two evenings have been full so I only did minimum updates.

Sunday night was spent watching TV. Discovery Atlas and Adult Swim. Monday evening, I attended an Iftar dinner.

I tried to fast on Monday but was unsuccessful. I made it to noon. I had a headache so I ate my sandwich. That made the headache go away.

Islam's requirements are tough. I would make a poor Muslim. There is the no pork thing and the some of the reasons for the hijab bother me. It seems to me that if my uncovered head is such a distraction or temptation to a man then it is the man's problem to take to Allah to solve not mine to solve my covering my head. Making the other responsible for your happiness, virtue or problems is the first pillar of unhealthy relationships.

Islam has its good points. I'm just not ready to convert.

Peace be upon you. In Texan, Peace be upon ya'll.

No update last night because of a power outage. Read all about it here: http://www.theeagle.com/stories/100406/local_20061004001.php

My power did not come back on until almost 2:00 am. Fortunately it was a cool night and Walter hooked up a little fan to a battery. Finished reading a very dated book about cartooning and read more of the Tibetan Book of the Dead.

Journey towards enlightenment while still alive so that you will recognize what is happening during journey in between physical death and Buddhahood. You really want get in on the transition to Buddhahood early because it gets quite scary after the 7th day that your physical body has died. The 12th day - you don't need to be wandering around for 12 days.

I believe in the existence of hell but not that it is any worse than the things that humans do to each other. The worst tortures are not always physical.

I don't believe that hell is an eternal state. Seems rather unjust.

The only thing that I am certain of in regards to the nature of God is that he/she/it has a sick, sick, sick sense of humor. It's not funny, anymore.

This week I ran 14.72 miles, burned 1808.4 calories and weigh 169.5 pounds. So far this year I have run 727.45 miles.

Monday: 3.75 miles in 45:00
Wednesday: 2.97 miles in 35:00
Saturday: 8 miles in 1:28:00

I had a fast Saturday. I was more recovered and there were some nice downhill stretches. It was a good run.

I identified the cause of my frustration with work. The contrast between the stagnation of my work-life and the growth in my personal life has become too much to ignore. I have some ideas about what to do about it.

Mediocrity.

Some stuff has been buzzing around in my head and I need to get it out before it drives me crazy.

I think I've been going through a "third-life" crisis. I'm too young for a mid-life crisis. Crisis is too strong a word.

My, I hesitate to call it a career, is at a standstill. To me a career is something that is sought with more intention rather than wandered into. Also, I imagine a real career requires one to wear a blazer all the time. That is a by-product of my late 70's elementary school years. All the school material about careers included illustrations of smiling women wearing blazers and walking while projecting an air of self assurance. They were always carrying documents.

I could upgrade my wardrobe. At least I would look the part of an adult with a career.

I need to stop going back and reading what I wrote and criticizing it. That's why it takes so long for me to write a blog entry beyond running stats.

Mediocrity. I'm quite aware of my own mediocrity. I think I can do better but wonder if I really could. Is this really my best? Getting beyond this requires stepping out of a comfort zone. I know this. Easier said than done.

It would help if I were stepping toward something other than "not this." I have a greater idea of what I don't want rather than what I do. I can envision a certain lifestyle but have no clue as to how to get there.

I know I need to do something. What, I don't know. No use in stepping out aimlessly.

Life does not come with a route map. Maybe it is time for me to seriously map one out.

Disclaimer: Please do not take this entry as an opportunity to sell your self-help book, life-coaching services or your religion. I do need help and will consider serious offers but I prefer to find my own resources. I'm cheap, you have to work hard to convince me that your book, guide, services, etc. are a good investment of my dollars. I've seen lots of guides, books, tapes and CDs at garage sales. If this information was so valuable why let it go for 25 cents to $2.00? I would either keep it or give it to someone I care about.

Burn out.

This week I've only done a minimum of church related stuff. I had the time but I chose to do other things. I've done a minimum of work related stuff as well. The other things I've chosen to do are quite trivial. Play games, watch a bit of YouTube, random web surfing.

I still haven't written an article for the church newsletter. I hope it goes to print without me. At the moment there are other things that I would rather do. This for example.

Ramadan started Sunday, September 24. According to sources on the internet, Osama Bin Laden will launch his latest offensive, an American Hiroshima - nuke 10 U.S. cities with dirty bombs. Materials to make these bombs were smuggled across the Mexican border. This offensive will allegedly take place during Ramadan (September 24 - October 23).

A Republican candidate for the U.S. Presidency, a psychiatrist, has all this information on his website. Nothing scarier than a paranoid psychiatrist.

Relevant links for your amusement: http://releases.usnewswire.com/GetRelease.asp?id=72986 and http://www.cortforpresident.com and http://www.stopdoomsday.com/

I need to get away for a while. Not because of the above silliness but just to recharge my batteries, make a decision or two and move forward with some plans. Mainly to recharge.

Crap still needs to be done whether or not I feel like doing it. I should learn to do it with enthusiasm. Fuck that. I'll reserve my enthusiasm for something I care about.

Results of the trail run:
http://cpmimages.com/events/LakeBryanTrailRun/LakeBryanResults.html

This week I ran 33.73 miles, burned 3,787.2 calories and weigh 167.8 pounds.

Sunday: 35K in 5:41:08
Wednesday: 2.06 miles in 25:00
Friday: 2.97 miles in 35:00
Saturday: 7 miles in 1:26:00

I ran 35K in 5:41:08. That's 21.7 miles for those using English measurements. I did not make the cutoff time to go on 15 more kilometers. The heat and humidity got to a lot of people. 22 signed up for the 50K. 8 finished, 8 more managed 35K. The rest stopped at 25K.

The next day, Monday, a cool front blew in. Perfect running weather.

My legs are still a bit sore.

I slept most of Monday.

I would like to take another shot at a 50K trail run.

This week I ran 7.72 miles, burned 1,021.9 calories and weigh 167.9 pounds.

Monday: 2.80 miles in 35:00
Wednesday: 2.01 miles in 25:00
Friday: 2.91 miles in 35:00

Tomorrow is the big race. I picked up my packet this evening. Walter and Loki came along and we walked a bit along the levee that surrounds Lake Bryan. Loki went into the water.

Found a lot of interesting and valuable things at the garage sales this morning.

I'm taking Monday off to recuperate from this race.

The Suddenlink tech came by and got us up and running. The modem was replaced and Walter had to remind them that we are paying for two IPs. This took talking to three people. Walter showed the tech our bill. The tech had to talk to two different people.

Are we the only customers in Bryan paying for two IPs?

The new minister arrived last week and will be at tonight's board meeting. The dedication of the new chalice went well.

Tonight a new cartoon will go up. Along with a new recipe and a new book.

3 days until the 50K race.

The extended internet service outage caused a problem with our cable modem. A technician will come to our house on Thursday morning. That means no updates until Thursday evening, assuming that Suddenlink delivers on its promises.

Fortunately, the service call is free.

The ugly tattoo lady that I saw in front of the pawn shop has achieved greater immortality than she ever could have imagined. You, the reader, are lucky. You see only an interpretation of the woman. I saw the real thing. I would have photographed her if I could operate my camera phone discreetly. She was with others and I don't think my car would have withstood the pounding.

At least this outage has given me the opportunity to draw more cartoons. Whether or not that is a good thing is a subject for debate.

Today's tip for improving the efficiency of your administrative assistant:
Make detailed notes of what changes you want done on a PowerPoint presentation, go over the notes and then walk off with the notes and trust that your assistant will remember everything.

Do you have what it takes to become a citizen?

You answered 95% of questions correctly. Here's your rating:

0-20%: Maybe you're still thinking too much about the Old Country -- and that's where you should probably be.

25-40%: Mmmm. Do you really want to be a citizen? This kind of performance isn't going to impress those nice immigration folks.

45-60%: Not too bad, but you really need to break out the civics books again -- word is, the INS is looking for an 80 percent score.

65-80%: Hey, you may make a good citizen yet! Look at your wrong answers and a little revision should do the trick.

85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)

I missed the one about the correct form for applying for U.S. citizenship.

Give it a try.

No update. Suddenlink, my internet service provider, in Bryan is down. Technicians have been working on it all night. Still was not fixed as of this morning.

I used the extra time to draw another cartoon.

An update will be posted if Suddenlink can get reconnected.

This week I ran 13.98 miles, burned 1,780.5 calories and weigh 168.2 pounds.

Monday ran 2.74 miles in 35:00
Wednesday ran 1.98 miles in 25:00
Thursday ran 2.86 miles in 35:00
Saturday ran 6.4 miles in 1:16:00

One week until the 50K!

The finches are definitely escaped pets. They don't fly far away from people or dogs. It looks like they have chosen a tree next to the feed to perch. I put out some water for them because it appears that they don't venture very far from the tree or the feed table. Tomorrow, I'm going to put up a nest box under the eave for them. This weekend we'll try to find a finch cage that they can be coaxed into. Pictures of the Zebra Finches. I've named them Bruce and Sheila. Bruce is in the plate and Sheila is eating by the tray. The first picture shows them sort of together.

I looked up finches last night. It looks like my two visitors are Zebra Finches. Walter took some pictures of them this morning. I will print the pictures and take them to one of the professors I work for. He is an ornithologist; he can confirm identification. One of the perks of working for an ornithologist is that I can legally search for tits on Google during work hours.

I will post pictures later.

I still think the finches are a pair that escaped from a home or breeder. They appear to be thriving.

It rained! It finally rained here! Hooray.

A pair of finches stopped at the bird feeding table. They looked like something that you would find in a pet store. Zebra finches I think. I hope they are really wild and not a couple of pets that someone let out. Pet birds don't do well in the wild. At least these two found food. The cardinals did not mind their presence.

My work week so far has been highlighted by a pile of minor annoyances. One minor annoyance is easy to handle but this week the annoyances have been ganging up on me.

I'm not referring to people. I'm referring to actions. Making me work to get a simple piece of information. Displaying confirmation bias. Engaging in hyperbole. Assuming that I know something.

Things will get better. They always do.

This week I ran 26.66 miles, burned 3,310.6 calories and weigh 168.8 pounds.

Sunday: 12.02 miles in 2:15:00
Tuesday: 5K in 31:25
Thursday: 5.75 miles in 1:05:00
Saturday: 5.4 miles in 1:02:00

Two weeks until my 50K!

I haven't drawn a cartoon in two days. Fortunately, I have a backlog of a month's worth of cartoons.

My schedule has been turned topsy-turvy since school started. Things should be back to normal by next week.

My first training run for the Houston Marathon is this Saturday. I hope the morning is still nice and cool.

I love last minute revisions and additions.

Loki slept all night outside his kennel. He walked into the bedroom at about 5:30 am. I was awakened by fuzzy muzzle to the middle of my back. Hot dog breath is even better.

Right now Loki is outside enjoying the exceptionally cool morning.

Walter made breakfast so I have time to do other things.

So far, I've made it to work on time and have not hit the 10:00 am wall of drowsiness.

I'm not feeling so overwhelmed by church stuff right now. That may change later in the day.

I made a Dogster page for Loki: www.dogster.com/?373607
He has seven pals so far.

Yesterday was the first day of classes. It was a long day. I got quite a workout - climbing and groping.

A new projector has been ordered for my classroom. Meanwhile, the old projector is showing a lamp replacement warning. Since the remote disappeared I have to hop onto a table and then reach up to the manual controls and feel for the right button to turn off the warning. Did this five times yesterday.

So far today, most of the classes have not needed the projector. The afternoon classes will need to use the projector and one evening class will use it. I showed the assistant in last night's evening class where the off button is, so I don't have to do this next week for the Monday evening class. I hope the new projector comes in soon.

I still have a lot of church related stuff to do. This is almost a fulltime job. So how do I find time to post blog entries and make a Dogster page and update my cartoon website? I don't have to work all the time. The breaks make me more productive.

I will make the time to do the church stuff. I just don't want to do it right now.

This week I ran 14.85 miles, burned 1,877.6 calories and weigh 167.8 pounds.

Monday: 5.29 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday: 5K in 31:57
Friday: 6.08 miles in 1:05:00

Walter and I took Loki for a walk this evening. He did well. Only had one minor incident with a loose smaller dog. People will learn that this city has a leash law.

I made it to work 15 minutes early. Walter making breakfast made that possible and getting out of bed by 6:00 am also helped.

Now, I'm trying to get through the 10:00 am sleepiness wall. If I can make it to 11:00 am without dosing off then I should be alert for the rest of the day.

A successful person is one who went ahead and did the thing the rest of us never quite got around to.
I wish a successful person would come along and write the things I need to write for church.

People rarely disclose their character so clearly as when they describe someone else's.

Everything now being done is going to be done differently; it's going to be done better, and if you don't do it, your competitor will.

Loki has become more clever about opening the back gate. Not only did he push up the latch but also the wire we installed to keep the gate closed. Walter put him in the back yard and then went out the front door and found Loki greeting him.

Walter revised the installation of the wire. I'm hoping that Loki learns to use the mower or refill the holes that River dug.

I'm waiting on Loki's paperwork so I can take him to the vet and maybe obedience classes. I also need to pay Woodstock.

I received my appointment letter for the next fiscal year. It is a letter detailing my job title and pay scale for the next fiscal year. It is becoming more difficult for me to change jobs when this one is fulfilling most of my number one personal objective. If I did not have to get up so early then this job would hit it 100%.

Money can't buy happiness but neither can poverty.

A scary picture. It was part of an e-mail I received. Not the most flattering photo of this person. Vaguely looks like my mother. A younger version of my mother or an older version of my sister. In defense of both my mother and sister, neither of them would send an unflattering photo as part of a testimonial. Neither of them wear that much make-up and no longer use excessive hair product. And they don't have any weird growths coming out of their necks (at least they didn't last time I saw them). The more I look at this picture more unlike my mother and sister this woman becomes.

The photo is from My Points. I do remember how the woman in this photo redeemed her points. The photo blotted it out from my mind and all I wanted was my lousy 5 points for reading the e-mail.

The photo looks like a mug shot. Maybe My Points has the same photo filters as the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Watched the Roast of William Shatner last night. Boy, George Takei took a lot of hits. He dished it out quite well. He really stepped out of character to deliver those lines. I might purchase the uncensored DVD. I tried to catch some of the exclusives on Mother Load but the interface was a bit frustrating and I could not play the videos I wanted.

Loki is home. I filled out his application today. He was glad to see me. He has put on a bit of weight. Right now, he is sleeping on the floor by the computer desk.

This week I ran 33.16 miles, burned 3849.8 calories and weigh 169.2 pounds.

Sunday ran 14.49 miles in 3:20:00
Wednesday ran 5K in 32:31
Friday ran 5.9 miles in 1:05:00
Saturday ran 15K in 2:24:00

I ran the 15K loop of my upcoming 50K race. Tough trail. I nearly fell down four times. I will walk quite a bit during this portion of the race. I may have to reevaluate my time goal.

The special board meeting went well. We had a quorum. Even had a board member vote from the hospital. The potential minister is excited. I'm waiting on paperwork.

The gag well has been running a bit dry lately. I can come up with many funny things but nothing that translates into cartoon form very well. For example, Dolly Parton singing the opening song from the Sound of Music. Cartoons are a visual medium and this Dolly Parton thing is an audio gag.

Dolly Parton has recorded a lot of music. I bet she has tackled Rogers and Hammerstein. I'll have to search my MP3 service.

Loki is coming back. Walter and I are going to adopt him. He needs a real permanent home. I'll be glad to see him again.

Salvador's flight feathers have grown back so he is back to his old self.

This gag writing slump has gone on too long.

Speaking of writing, I need to write an article for the church newsletter, welcome packet, welcome web page and search packet. There is a lot of writing involved in the board president job. Also, I still need to talk to some more people about church stuff.

"Church stuff" is a term I use when it is inappropriate, in a publicly available blog, to go into detail. I write about church stuff here mostly for my benefit but also for the benefit of anyone curious about the inner workings of an UU church. There is the words we share with the public and there is how we really act. In the case of my church the words match the deeds 90% of the time. It could be higher but my church welcomes imperfect people. Some of these imperfect people get elected as Board President. Maybe these writings will benefit anyone thinking about taking on a leadership position in their church.

Right now, things are a bit heavy on the church front but so far, as a whole, this Board President experience has been rewarding. The load will lighten when some of the more pressing church stuff is taken care of. I can't afford to bribe everyone with dessert. I hope someone says yes.

I saw the new chalice early and I look forward to heaping praise on the Finance Committee at an appreciation dinner for them.

Obtainable Affirmations

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.
5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.
7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.
8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.
9. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
10. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

[From AndyChaps!]

River went to her new home today. I took her to work and she enjoyed the attention.

I took the afternoon off to take River to her home. I enjoyed having the extra time. I finally put up the clean clothes and loaded the dishwasher.

The crows and grackles ate all the bird seed. No dog to run them off.

Tomorrow, I attempt to use my powers of persuasion. The English language makes absolutely no sense.

Since I got things done a bit earlier than usual, I'm going to bed early.

"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."

--P. J. O'Rourke

I have a special church board meeting to preside tonight. The main agenda item is the hiring of a minister. Actually, in this case a ministerial candidate. She has completed her course work and needs to do her internship before she can become ordained. Hopefully, she will gain some good experience with our church and the church will gain something as well. I look forward to working with this person.

I need to write a nice welcome letter for our packet and website. I will try to use my own voice without displaying the more twisted parts of my personality. Be warm and friendly and leave the comedy at home. Most of the comedy.

This week I ran 14.47 miles, burned 1805.1 calories and weigh 169.3 pounds.
Last week I ran 24.62 miles, burned 2496.5 calories and weighed 169.5 pounds.

Sunday, July 30: 14:06 miles in 2:56:00
Monday, July 31: 4.56 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday, August 2: .52 miles
Friday, August 4: 5.45 miles in 1:05:00
Sunday, August 6: 10K in 1:27:00
Monday, August 7: 4.51 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday, August 9: 5K in 33:06

I had a bunch of meetings these past two weeks. I have more next week. I don't want to know what it would be like to be the Board President of a large church.

Tomorrow, I will attempt to run about 21 miles. I mapped out a 3 mile (2.97 miles exactly) route. I did this to prepare for the mental challenge of repeating trails in the 50K trail run in September.

River's adoption application was approved. She will be going to her new home sometime this week.

Thursday is the usual quote day but I had to put a few things on notice.

Not a day passes over this earth, but men and women of no note do great deeds, speak great words and suffer noble sorrows. - Charles Reed

The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. - Henri-Frederic Amiel
Used this one as opening words for the church Board Meeting last night. It was a hit.

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing. - Alexander Woollcott (a man of many double letters in his surname)

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

You're on notice!
On notice board generator courtesy of http://www.shipbrook.com/onnotice/
Follow the instructions and don't steal this guy's bandwidth.

Blog 108: August 9, 2006

The latest sample of Steve Sutton in action

Something Awful introduced me to a man so uninteresting that he loops back to interesting. Steve's World - the world of Steve Sutton, a captivatingly boring person.

I've posted a cartoon with an offer. I often receive e-mails urging me to kill myself and/or stop posting cartoons. I also receive positive e-mails.

Taking a cue from the U.S. government, I will not post a cartoon on a day that I receive $200 USD. Like the U.S. government paying farmers not to grow certain crops, I'm asking people to pay me not to post cartoons.

If people are really concerned about the quality of web comics then back it up with some cash. For those who like my cartoons, I have other buttons at http://www.aperfectworld.org

I have no plans to kill myself.

It's pithy quotes Thursday!

No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a teacher. - Ben Johnson

People who write the most interesting and effective letters never answer letters. They answer people.

And they never answer my @#$! e-mails! Especially, when I need information. The simple answers take forever to get but the more complex things are responded to immediately, despite a not possessing a full grasp of the situation.

There is something terribly wrong with my country. I don't know how to fix it.
http://gutterboylive.livejournal.com/96870.html#cutid1
Anyone that thinks that this cluster-fuck can be resolved by simply voting for Democrats is an idiot. I think it will take something more cataclysmic. I'm thinking something bloody and violent but that never ends well.

I was at a retreat Sunday and Monday. It was fun, productive and much needed.

Got out of bed at 5:45 am this morning and I'm not struggling to stay awake. Hurray for small miracles.

Because of the retreat I have a half gallon of Blue Bell Buttered Pecan ice cream that I have to dispose of. In the interests of the starving children in Africa I must eat this ice cream myself. It's what Jesus would do.

This week's list - Why I hate clothes shopping

1. Collared shirts without sleeves. These damn things are on the racks. Clothing should not go on the rack until it is finished. Sewing sleeves on cannot be any more difficult than adding a collar. The sleeveless shirts do not keep anyone cooler than a short sleeved shirt.
   
2. Capris. I @#$#%! hate capris and their variants - cropped pants, extra long shorts. I have a hard enough time finding pants with long enough legs without @#$%! capris lurking on the shelves and racks pretending to be legitimate pants. Want to be cool in the summer - try shorts.
3. I'm not a plumber, carpenter or refridgerator repair man. I can't wait until this low-cut crap goes out of fashion. I live in the United States - the low-cut look is not hot on 70% of the women in this country - yet clothing manufacturers make these things in sizes that would accommodate that 70%. Certain clothing should not be made in certain sizes.
   
4. Would it kill fashion designers to put real sizes on clothes? Waist, Hip, Inseam. 3 little numbers. No, I have to try on everything. It's amazing that a size 12 in one brand fits just as well as a size 16 in another. Look at the amazing shape shifting woman!
5. Shouldn't a higher size number on a pair of pants have longer legs than the lower number? In my world the legs should get longer as the size number increases but that does not happen in the world I'm forced to shop in - things only get wider.
   

I would enjoy clothes shopping a bit more if I did not have such a crappy attitude and stores stopped selling ugly, ill-fitting garments.

This week I ran 27.58 miles, burned 2,929.2 calories and weigh 167.8 pounds.

Sunday ran 13.11 miles in 2:40:00 at a 12:12 min./mile or 4.92 mph.
Monday ran 4.96 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday ran 5K in 33:41
Friday ran 6.04 miles in 1:05:00

Quotes from the little magazines:

The greatest of all faults is to be conscious of none. - Carlyle

Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job.

Okay. The above quote fails to take into account the cause of most problems - someone with less ability.

Opportunities multiply as they are siezed, die when neglected.

A man is never astonished that he doesn't know what another does, but he is surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he does. - Haliburton

Loki got adopted. He went to his new home yesterday. I hope it goes well. He has a nice yard and two boys to play with him.

I'm temp fostering a 3 month old puppy named River. She is a mutt of indeterminate ancestry. She has already piddled on the carpet. Right now, she is sleeping under my desk.

I'm a bit tired myself. I've been trying an earlier wake up time. Lasted two days.

Early mornings without the prospect of a nap suck.

List of the week: Animals that freak me out

1. Chinese crested dogs
2. Hairless cats
3. Horned toads
4. Shaved bears
5. Sasquatches
6. Opossums
7. Angler fish
8. Jelly fish
9. Sting rays
   

Interesting site of the week: Eugene Sandow & The Golden Age of Iron Men
Has several pictures of body builders from the Victorian and Edwardian Era, reproductions of various training courses - including the Farmer Burns course, and a section on physical culture on the Indian sub-continent.

None of these men are vein-bulging, steroid popping, circus freaks. These guys not only looked great but could perform feats of strength with the muscles. They were wrestlers, circus strongmen, weight lifters, yogis and boxers.

The photos is from the site and it depicts Eugene Sandow supporting the cast of a vaudeville show.

Walter and I visited the flea market and found some interesting things.

It is not a real flea market unless there is a man with a tracheotomy selling random items. This flea market had its tracheotomy man. For some reason I feel compelled to purchase something from the tracheotomy man - pity maybe? The man, if he knew my thoughts would say, "I DON'T NEED YOUR DAMN PITY!" Actually, it would be more like, "I DON'T NEED YOUR DAMN PITY!"

I bought a bunch of post cards and greeting cards from tracheotomy man. The oldest card was sent in 1908 and the most recent card was sent in 1980. There are several undated post cards. It is enough cards to keep me occupied for a year or two with scanning, posting, research and snarking.

Presenting the Church of Tomorrow! It is in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. The First Christian Church, located at 3700 N. Walker, is one the most beautiful sights in Oklahoma City.

It sort of looks like a Bizarro World version of the Legion of Doom's Hall of Doom.

This week I ran 14.28 miles, burned 1787.3 calories and weigh 168.2 pounds.

Monday ran 4.84 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday ran 5K in 34:18
Friday ran 5.98 miles in 1:05:00

I will do my long run - 13 miles - tomorrow.

Star Trek - Knights of the Round Table

I'm not quite enough of a Trek geek to name all the episodes from whence the clips came. A very well done Star Trek - Monty Python mash-up.

I fried my cell phone. One month past the warranty and 5 months before the automatic replacement. I hope to have a replacement sometime today. I wonder if I will still get the automatic replacement in January?

I don't receive many calls. At most I use 30 minutes a month. Yesterday, several people needed to speak with me. I found out about it via e-mail. How did everyone know that I do not have a phone?

After I exercise in the gym, I sit in the sauna. I use the alarm function on my cell phone to limit my time. I've been doing this for months.

Wednesday evening the phone went dead. I assumed that I allowed the battery to run down. So I plug it into my car charger. The phone did not come back on. I went home and plugged it into my home charger. The phone came on and I allowed it to recharge. Then at 2:00 am the phone made all kinds of noises. I unplug it. I woke up at 6:30 am and tried to turn the thing back on. The phone would not turn on. I removed the battery and put it back in - still no response. I pulled the battery back out. I noticed a little note. It said "Do not expose to temperatures above 140 degrees (F)" The sauna at the gym is 170 degrees.

It's a dry heat.

A couple of pithy quotes:

We often act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when what we really need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.

Wonder if the writer of that statement considered serial killers.

Self-centered people are the ones who spend so much time talking about themselves that we never get a chance to talk about ourselves.

If according to the first writer the key to happiness is something to be enthusiastic about, why not choose self? The self-centered have found something to be enthusiastic about, therefore are happy, and won't shut up about it.

The quotes come from some tracts about management and leadership. I bought them at a garage sale. They were published in the mid-1980's. The tracts do not contain anything particularly profound. The content is broken up so that a concept can be conveyed during an average bowel movement.

This blog would be a lot more interesting if I posted more often.

Honestly, I've not had much to write about.

Even my gag writing has waned. I can come up with a gag when it is time to draw but I like to have a few written down because often the gags drawn on the fly are not that funny.

This week I ran 19.51 miles burned 2243.2 calories and weigh 168 pounds. I've got to stop eating so much sugary stuff.

Monday ran 4.83 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday ran 5K in 34:57
Friday ran 5.90 miles in 1:05:00
Saturday ran 5.32 miles in 1:08:00

Ran Saturday at 4.69 mph or a 12:47 mile. I intended to run 12 miles but it was too damn hot. 8:00 pm and still over 90 degrees.

I need to do these longer runs in the morning so I've decided to do the long runs on Sunday mornings. I can wake up an hour earlier. This will still give me time to go to church and take a nap after church. If the sermon is boring enough I'll take a nap during church.

I like to spend Saturday mornings going to garage sales with my husband, which is why I don't run on Saturday mornings. Found some good Yoga and stretching books this morning.

Loki received two adoption applications. Jam might get a home if the first application works out.

Tomorrow, I'm going out to lunch with my dad and the rest of the family to celebrate his birthday. He will almost be 70. He doesn't actually turn 70 until Wednesday.

This week I ran and walked 26.63 miles, burned 2,763.6 calories and weigh 167.2 pounds.

Monday I walked Loki for about 6 miles.
Wednesday ran 5K in 35:37
Friday ran 5.92 miles in 1:05:00
Saturday ran 11.26 miles in 2:28:00

Ran Saturday at a 13:09 min./mile or 4.56 mph.

For fun I did a self Google search.

Not only am I a cartoonist and very funny person but I'm also an illustrator of evangelical Christian children's books, a former Melbourne High School classmate, the mother of Miss Lousiana (2005), appointed by a probate court as something, bought a partnership home in 1997, a member of the Fannin County Chamber of Commerce, Social Studies teacher, a Southern woman who loves to read, barrel racer, Blood Drive coordinator, employee of Coppell ISD, a runner based in Vermont, employee of Radian International, member of a transportation board, very dear friend of the late Margaret Loretta DeWoody, part-time kindergarten teacher, died in Allegheny County Pennsylvania, and co-author of Surface-Coating-Free Materials Workshop Summary Report.

That was just the first 20 pages. The things I learned about myself through Google.

I took Loki to Lake Bryan. We walked about 7 miles.

I let Loki off leash to play in the water. He has pretty good recall.

He displayed an interest in things beyond his immediate surroundings. I found that behavior unusual in a dog. He watched a heron landing 100 yards away and watched a boat pulling a tube.
Loki likes to lay in the water with his nose just above the surface.

Right now he is sleeping and dreaming.

Our Lake Bryan expedition was cut short by a bone headed act. I left my planner on top of my car. I drove off. Someone found it an flagged down a police officer. The police called me while I was in the middle of the woods. I headed back after the police called. An officer brought my planner to my house. Everything was still in it. The police used my fishing license to find my phone number.

I was so intent on loading Loki into the car that I forget to get my planner off the roof. Thank God for luck and honorable people.

This week I ran 14.76 miles, burned 1,709.7 calories and weigh 166.5 pounds.

Monday ran 4.72 miles in 1:05:00
Sunday ran 10.04 miles in 1:59:00
According to mapmyrun.com I ran Sunday at a 11:51 min./mile or 5.06 mph. It has been unusually cool this past week. 10 degrees makes quite a difference. The amount of time off from running might have helped as well. Allowed my body to fully recover.

I had a couple of church related meetings on the days that I normally run.

The meetings this weekend were especially productive. The Prairie Star District has a fantastic Ministerial Settlement Representative and I'm glad she chose to make her services available to my church, even though it is outside her district.

I'm feeling the full weight of responsibility of Board President.

I have the day off tomorrow. I think I will take Loki to the Lake Bryan Trails and hike them. Get a feel for what awaits me in September. I've turned in my entry form for the 50K.

List of the week:
Things that unnerve me

1. Men a lot shorter than I am
2. People scraping bare feet on concrete
3. Hefty women showing too much cleavage
4. Chinese Crested dogs
5. Ugly babies
6. Nondiscreet public breast feeding
7. Guys who can't walk without one hand on their crotch
8. Hairy armpits on a woman
   

Disclaimer: My reaction to the above is my responsibility. I do not expect any of the above to modify themselves in order to make me feel better. Numbers 1, 4, and 5 can't do anything, the others might want to consider other people but ultimately no one has any control over how any one will react.

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

This week I ran 22.05 miles, burned 2,471.5 calories and weigh 167.7 pounds.

Monday ran 4.62 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday ran 5K in 37:17
Friday ran 5.93 miles in 1:05:00
Saturday ran 8.05 miles in 1:44:00

According to MapMyRun.com I ran Saturday at 4.64mph or 12:55 mins/mile.

I took the day off to help Walter purchase parts for the truck. I needed the day off. Got a lot done and Walter bought the right parts to get the truck running again.

Brilliant! I did all the updates in FrontPage and then forgot to upload. Oops.

I upload via FTP rather than using FrontPage's publish function. I experience fewer bugs and with a site as large as mine things update faster. I use FrontPage for the auto thumbnail feature and navigation bars. I can do a bit of coding to tweak things.

This is what happens when I do updates very late at night. I was also making purchase and download buttons for my clip art. Now some of my clip art is available in other file formats and can be purchased and downloaded instantly. This feature will become available as soon as I get home and actually upload the updates.

It looks like something was in the air yesterday. It affected me, Phil Mickelson and the Dallas Mavericks. I guess the Mavericks really like playing basketball because it looks like they are going to play all 7 games in the series with the Miami Heat.

You are 80% Pisces

How Pisces Are You?

This week I ran 23.93 miles, burned 2,723.2 calories and weigh 168.2 pounds.

Monday ran 4.51 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday ran 5K in 37:01
Friday ran 6.17 miles in 1:05:00
Saturday morning ran 2.75 miles in 31:00
Saturday evening ran 7.06 miles in 1:28:00

I intended to run the 7 miles Saturday morning but a storm cut things short.

According to MapMyRun.com I ran the 2.75 miles at a 11:16 mile pace (5.32 mph) and ran the 7.06 at a 12:28 mile pace (4.81 mph).

You can check out my running routes at http://profile.mapmyrun.com/Toonhead
MapMyRun.com is a very useful site for runners and walkers. Not only can you map a run but there is also a tool to calculate stats such as average pace, average speed and calories burned.

You can look at the maps of other runners in your area. The tool works in conjunction with Google Maps.

Loki spent the day at the office, yesterday. He received lots of attention. I took him to the vet after work. He needed to get his rabies shot certificate. The old one got misplaced.

Loki had a good time exploring the campus and chasing squirrels. A mockingbird strafed him.

Loki was well behaved. He is a great dog.

---------------------------

My term as Board President is going okay, so far. I've met with the office staff and informed her of changes. Met with the search committee and got them started. I will be contacting the District Ministerial Settlement Representative to give her a time when we can meet.

There are still other things to do. I'm doing them at my pace but I get the impression that my pace is not fast enough for others. I'm not a sprinter. I try not to let the to-do list overwhelm me. Have to remember to stay steady or else I will not have the energy to make it to the finish line.

I presided over my first board meeting. It went a little long but it was a huge agenda. I'm glad that the past-President was out of town that day. I found it helpful to not have that shadow over me at the first meeting. It allowed me space to set the tone. I think I will skip the first Board meeting that the new president will preside over.

--------------------------

I haven't attempted a sprint in a long time - just run as fast as I can for a short distance. I ran as fast as I could during the last .2 miles of the Freescale Marathon but that is not quite the same. I wonder how fast I can run straight off the start line? Last time I attempted a sprint I aggravated a knee injury. That was over 11 years ago. My knee has survived 3 marathons and the training. My legs are stronger but I'm still hesitant to try a sprint. Kind of odd, since I've ran up to 8 mph on a treadmill. I felt as if my legs were going to fly apart when I set the treadmill that fast.

I need to visit a track and time a single lap. It might be interesting and/or comical.

Do I know how to run fast anymore? Run fast for no real reason, like I did as a kid.

I subscribe to eHealthy News from Mercola.com. It's about natural healing, food, and homoeopathy. Dr. Mercola is into technology so he posts good technology articles. Most of the information is useful and verifiable but a fair amount treads into "loony" territory. I agree that the U.S. healthcare system needs major remodeling, Americans should eat less processed food and exercise more but the site loses credibility when statements like the following appear:

Are you among the millions of people everyday exchanging your health for the convenience of microwave ovens? Before you use your microwave one more time, you might want to consider some facts.

The Nazis are credited with inventing the first microwaves. Known first as radiomissors, they were used for preparation of meals on a mass scale during the invasion of Russia -- thus eliminating the logistical problem of cooking fuels. After the war, the Russians had retrieved some of these microwave ovens and conducted thorough research on their biological effects. So alarmed by what they learned, the Russians banned microwave ovens in 1976.

(The whole page: http://www.mercola.com/forms/turbo_oven.htm)

Okay, Dr. Mercola needs to sell products in order to keep his website up. I have no problem with that but this whole invoking the Nazis just to sell an appliance is ridiculous. The Nazis were evil - the Nazis used microwaves - only a Nazi would use a microwave. Even the godless, commie Russians banned microwaves. You're smarter than them aren't you? So why are you still using a microwave oven?

Dr. Mercola writes against the advertising tactics used by big pharmaceutical corporations but appears to have no problem with using similar tactics to sell products. The proceeds of the sales are used to advance his vision for a new health care paradigm. Sleazy advertising tactics to advance a noble cause does not make the tactics less sleazy nor really do much for the cause.

Actually, the pharmaceutical companies use more subtle tactics.

I'm not a fan of the pharmaceutical companies. I just want less bullshit in my life.

Bullshit is a natural product, perhaps it is appropriate for some to appear on a natural health site. I'm sure the bullshit that appears on Mercola.com comes from free-range, non-genetically modified, non-hormone treated, organic, grass fed bulls.

Still stinks.

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

This week I ran 20.62 miles, burned 2,564.6 calories and weigh 170 pounds.

Monday ran 4.26 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday ran 5K in 37:46
Friday ran 6.23 miles in 1:05:00
Saturday ran 6.17 miles in 1:05:00

I've decided to run a 50K race in September. It is local and there is no entry fee.

I've added two new products to my Cafe Press store; a pair of t-shirts especially for introverts.
http://www.cafepress.com/apw.61384621
http://www.cafepress.com/apw.61384622

Now maybe people will leave you alone. At least people that can read.

Things have been screwy with Blogger so I am reposting this.

Sometimes my job is fun. One of the faculty that I support is writing a book about rattlesnake roundups in Texas. He has done research about this before. I scanned some slides.

I found this picture amusing. The tiara, big hair, heavy make-up, blood stained lab coat combination is funny. "Miss Snake Charmer" was required to skin a rattlesnake in front of an audience. It looks like first runner up assisted. The slide was dated 1991.

The Miss America pagaent needs to include a skinning event. It might boost ratings. I might watch if I did not have anything better to do, like clip my toenails.

Now you know why Miss Texas usually wins the Miss America title or at least finishes in the top 10. She has to display unusual skills while competing in the lower level pageants. By the time she competes in Miss America she has developed more conventional talents.

Once you skin a rattlesnake while wearing a tiara everything else is easy.

No apocalypse. Darn.

Listening to the long version of In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly.

I'm listening to the drum solo portion.

Humor recommendations:

Lio: http://www.gocomics.com/lio/
One of the funniest comics to hit the papers in a long time. Uses minimal dialogue. All visual humor. Forces me to face my mediocrity as a cartoonist.

Korgun of Barbaria: a cartoon in the Sunday Adult Swim line up on Cartoon Network. A parody of Conan, Dungeons and Dragons and Heavy Metal rolled into one. The art is heavily influenced by Don Martin.

This video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oxBm-XI5bk
Pia Zadora - You Bring Out the Lover in Me. Everything hilarious about the 1980's in one video. The underwear around the ankles chorus line is disturbing. Brought to my attention via http://gutterboylive.livejournal.com/
The discussion: http://gutterboylive.livejournal.com/79107.html
Forces me to realize that I'm not so mediocre.

These ought to keep you laughing until the apocalypse.

Ooooooo, scary! It is 06/06/06!

The apocolypse better get here soon.

I need to do a better job of promoting aperfectworld.org merchandise.

Here are some cool products you can purchase to support me and aperfectworld.org. I might even use the money for art lessons.

• A set of dragonfly stamps
• A cd-rom chock full of original clip art
• A t-shirt: Go beyond evolution - mutate!
• Proclaim your dog's love for porn
• Ghandi non-violently resists ass!
• What would Satan do? Made in the USA
• George W. Bush saying "Boobies!"
• Stealing from a PBS supporter

These products and much more at http://www.cafepress.com/apw

This week I ran 9.62 miles, burned 1,214.3 calories and weigh 168.5 pounds.

So far this year I have ran 374.18 miles and burned 45,312.8 calories.

Wednesday ran 5K in 38:34
Friday ran 6.20 miles in 65:00

Sunshine! Hooray sunshine!

I'm temp fostering Brodhi, the big goofy hound, this weekend. Loki will enjoy having a playmate.

I've switched the recipe additions to the website from Sunday to Thursday.

Walter is still on a roll with the gags.

Yes, my life is as uninteresting as this blog. People with really interesting lives do not have time to blog. Wow, blog is a noun and a verb.

Listening to "Cheatin' Fire" by Johnny Bush.

I love country music lyrics.

"We lie in the ashes, unconcerned"

Art Lessons. I need art lessons.

How does everyone else on the web get their comics to look so good? I appreciate a drawing style that I cannot duplicate.

The clouds and sleepiness are getting to me. I should always strive to improve my artistic abilities but my style unique. I've not encountered a web comic drawn like mine. There are plenty of badly drawn comics out there. Some, for reasons unknown, are more popular than mine. I guess it really is about the gag and not so much the art.

If anyone wants to slip me some cash via PayPal to go toward art lessons I would not object.

I'm still having some difficulty getting out of vacation mode. Last night, I watched too much TV; Mind of Mencia and South Park.

I bought groceries to replace the stuff that went bad in the fridge. The fridge door was open while we were gone.

Walter's gag writing abilities have kicked into high gear. If he keeps this up I may not have to be funny ever again. That won't happen - being funny is a large part of my identity.

Yesterday, Walter went above and beyond for the welfare of an animal. He picked up a cat to take to Woodstock. Walter is very allergic to cats but he transported this cat. The cat will be in a foster home until a permanent home is found.

I'll try my best not to get sucked into another TV show tonight.

May has to end soon.

Last week I ran 7.72 miles, burned 975.6 calories and weigh 165.8 pounds.

Monday (22nd) ran 4.30 miles in 65 minutes
Wednesday ran 5K in 39:23

I'm back. I'll post a new cartoon tonight.

I did nothing yesterday. I picked up Loki, converted an old cartop carrier to a pool for him, watched a movie (In Harm's Way), napped, unloaded the car, vegged in front of the TV.

I caught a few fish and a rock. Kept one fish and the rock. I have an interesting tan line on my feet.

I missed Loki. I'm glad he is back.

Now, to get back into the swing of things.

Unitarians are not weenies. I know a couple of UUs that can whoop some major ass if they were so inclined. Most of us would laugh at this cartoon.

I know it is just a cartoon but I felt the need to point out that Unitarian-Universalism is not some wimpy spirituality. It is difficult to come to your own conclusions about God and/or the reason for existence. Try doing the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do. No reward - earthly nor heavenly. The fun part is worshiping and serving as a community with diverse views.

Do you think a bunch of weenies would declare that everyone has inherent worth and dignity. Everyone - including homosexuals and others that other religions consign to hell. Quite frequently true weenies send threatening letters to my church for our tolerance and non-dogmatic views.

Then there is the being non-offensive bit. If I had a dime for each time someone brought up my religion in reference to a cartoon that I drew that offended them I would be able to purchase a Vault, drinks like a soda, kicks like an energy drink, from the vending machine at work. Apparently to the world a good UU is not allowed to be offensive. A UU is certainly not allowed to mock humans or point out the absurdities of the human condition in a cartoon.

UUs offend because of our tolerance and this UU sometimes offends because of her perceived lack of tolerance.

The real weenies are those who refuse to question and examine their beliefs and try to force the world to fit into their box.

Because the pope, the bible, the koran, the preacher, the president, xenu, said so... The phrase of a true weenie.

-------------------------------
Tomorrow, I go whoop some bass. Or crappie.

Nothing.

Nothing interesting.

Nothing so uninteresting that it becomes interesting.

Nothing.

But it is Wednesday and I cannot let more than three days pass without a post.

I'm going fishing this weekend. Got my license. The bass and crappie of Toledo Bend Lake better watch out because I'm gonna catch them all and then release them. I'll take a picture of the really big fish and then release. You fish are lucky that I really hate filleting.

I read in the Texas Parks and Wildlife handbook the chemical warnings regarding consuming fish from waters in Texas. There is a warning against eating gar from a certain lake because of high levels of mercury. If you are eating gar then potential mercury poisoning is the least of your problems.

Mentally, I'm already on vacation.

This week I ran 13.36 miles, burned 1,808 calories and weigh 166.2 pounds.

Tuesday ran 3.85 miles in 65 minutes
Thursday ran 5K in 40:13
Friday ran 6.09 miles in 65 minutes

I was elected President of the Board of Trustees at church. I feel too young for that sort of title.

Walter helped his niece build a Rube Goldberg device. It worked three times and it did not take all night. I helped some.

Time for me to put Loki to bed.

Here is the url of the video that has one of my cartoons in it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KkPJInrCko

Walter presented me with a necklace with a single pearl pendant.

One of my panels appears in a video. I'll post the link later.

Walter and I went out to dinner last night. We are officially old - the dinner was the whole date rather than a start of a date. Poor Walter had a headache last night.

I took a break from the Spanish language CD to listen to some regular radio. I like to be reminded how much local radio sucks. Spanish language radio stations were interfering with the signals of my radio presets.

[Insert anti-illegal immigrant rant here]

It was annoying.

I need to burn some CDs containing songs that do not suck. I have a long road trip scheduled this Memorial Day weekend.

What is it about Thursday that makes me write so much?

In honor of my 12 years of marriage I offer the following advice on how to have a great marriage.

1. Don't be a psychopath. This is a basic rule for any kind of social success. Too many people forget or simply never learned not to be a psychopath. The term "psychopath" is out of vogue - I think the favored term is antisocial personality disorder or something like that. In lay terms: f*ck*d up *ssh*l*. The irony of this is that the person with the disorder does not realize that they are the ones that are f*ck*d up.
2. Don't marry a psychopath. Highly trained professionals cannot change them, neither can you.
   
3. If you don't want to hear the answer don't ask the question. Does this make my butt look big? Everything makes your butt look big because you have a big butt. He married you anyway.
   
4. If you want something done a certain way then do it yourself. Another option - tell him how to do it and then shut the f*ck up. Don't get bitchy, whiny or angry if it is not done right. If, God forbid, you become a widow whether he folded the towels right or put the dishes up correctly will not matter.
   
5. Oral goes both ways. If he is willing then you should be willing.
6. Wash daily and trim regularly.
   
7. Don't push it in the bedroom. If things go well you two will have years to experiment. Take things at a pace that is comfortable for both. If she is not ready to go deep then let go of her ears. You run shorter distances first before running a marathon.
8. Wait at least 2 years before having children. Do not have children unless both parties want them. Guys, don't just go along - make an informed decision. If you don't want children then let her know. Two options if both parties do not want children: dissolve the marriage or don't have children. Don't force this issue. Too much is at stake. Ladies, don't sabotage the contraception. Guys, if you are serious about not wanting children, get a vasectomy.
9. Laugh. Don't take everything so damn seriously.
   
10. Don't assume. Don't make up motives which may or may not exist.
11. It is nobody's job to "complete" you. It is unfair to the other person. Enhance yes, complete no.
12. Forgive. Exception - abuse - in that case get out.
    
13. Don't let others dictate what is normal for you and your partner. If you never fight - then consider yourself lucky.
14. Put the relationship books and magazine articles down.
    
15. Don't analyze, just enjoy.
16. Let "I love you" be the last thing you say to each other before leaving the house or getting off the phone.
    

The next four days Walter and I celebrate 12 years of wedded bliss. We had a ceremony for friends and family but also got legally married by a Justice of the Peace. The minister for the ceremony was not authorized to marry people in Texas. We did the JP thing three days before the ceremony.

A quick Google search reveals that the traditional gift is silk/linen and the modern gift is pearls.

Why is that ZZ Top song playing in my head?

I woke up this morning with big hair. My hair is big every morning but this morning I decided to let it remain big. Other women spend hundreds of dollars on products and spend a great deal of time trying to get their hair to do what mine does naturally. I just run a comb through my hair a few times and I'm done.

A couple places you can see examples of big hair:
An entire gallery of big hair
http://www.houseofdiabolique.com/archives/hair040702.html
My hair is not that big. Gravity does it work if I let it grow long enough.

Todas: The Blog for Girls
http://www.faq-mac.com/bitacoras/todas/index.php?p=526&more=1&c=1
Big hair of the 1960's

The most famous big hair picture on the web:

A small collection of random thoughts

I'm tired of copying someone's dissertation on Florida manatees. I can add details of the sex lives of Florida manatees to the list of things I know but I wish I did not.

Being available to make copies and do other work is why I get paid the big bucks. I'm making good money for the amount of effort I put forth.

Things are slow at work because it is between semesters. I shredded a bunch of student records. When the records are older than the undergraduates then it is time to get rid of them. We are only supposed to keep them for 5 years.

I have a lot of packing material, empty file folders and empty file cabinet space.

I hate staples. Nobody thinks about the person that has to pull all the staples before shredding the documents. I pulled enough staples to make a single wide mobile home exterior. That is a bit of an exaggeration but I pulled out enough metal to set off a detector if I were to carry all the pulled staples in my pocket.

You think this is boring. I'm yawning as I type this post.

If I had autism everything I do would be a major achievement. I'm one disability from greatness. I'm really grateful for my good health - physical and mental - but sometimes it kind of sucks being solely responsible for my fate and not having an excuse for the state of my life.

I'd rather have the responsibility than the disability. I'm just in a funk about the state of my life. I've reached some plateaus and don't see a way off at the moment.

Sometimes, I want to completely withdraw from the world but still have my needs met. Welfare is not an option. The life of a welfare recipient is not the kind of life I want. Everything is paid for by the taxpayers but the stuff sucks. I guess for some people that is good enough. I understand for others that it is a difficult life to leave behind.

At least I'm on a plateau rather than in a hole.

I took Bailey to the office so that her next foster can pick her up. She just left.

Loki was sad when Bailey left the house. I think he likes having a playmate.

My clip art CD is now available.

I got in a bit late from visiting my mother last night so I did not update the cartoon.

A new cartoon will be posted tonight, along with new clip art and the launch of my clip art CD.

I have on CD over 2,000 eps, tif, psd and jpeg images. All original art.

This week I ran and rowed 15.15 miles, burned 1,776.1 calories and weigh 165.3 pounds.

Tuesday ran 4.09 miles in 65 minutes
Thursday ran 2.58 miles in 35 minutes
Friday rowed 2.48 miles in 20 minutes
Saturday ran 6.00 miles in 65 minutes

I volunteered at adoptions today. Loki got lots of interest and an application. Brodhi got an application, too.

Children should be leashed, muzzled and crated.

Disclaimer: the following does not reflect the official position or opinion of the Unitarian Univeraslist Church of the Brazos Valley. It is only the opinions and thoughts of the blogger.

I attended my last church board meeting as President-Elect. Assuming that the congregation agrees on May 21, I'll be chairing the next board meeting.

It will be an interesting year for the church. We will be looking for a minister. Full-time, if the congregation approves the budget or part-time if the congregation modifies the budget. There are some that would argue that we are doing just fine without a minister. I'll make sure the worship committee identifies those people and tell them to serve on the committee.

If you are an Unitarian - Universalist minister in need of a congregation check out the one in College Station, Texas. We are not a large congregation but we are very kind and forgiving and poised for growth. If you consider yourself in agreement with UU Principles (www.uua.org) and enjoy herding cats check us out (www.brazosuu.org). We are an imperfect institution full of imperfect people who welcome more imperfect people to join us on our quest for truth, spiritual growth and a more just world.

Of course, the minister has to be perfect.

Just kidding. Imperfect is okay.

The weather is pleasant for most of the year. The summers can be brutal but winter lasts for days, sometimes hours, rather than weeks. The spring is the most picturesque season with huge swathes of wildflowers lining the roadways. The political climate leans to the right but the progressive community is making inroads. There are complaints about the political climate but most people work to diversify it rather than just move away. Most folks like living here. Overall, the quality of life here is good.

None of this is official, I'm just reflecting on the future. I get to write a letter that will go in a search packet.

I will be doing a bit more writing than usual in the next year and I won't be able to just walk away when people complain. Some folks expect me to do something.

I will have to call upon organizational skills that I have not used in about a decade.

The next 12 months should be a time of great personal growth and shrinking of available time. I hope I can sustain my enthusiasm for the full 12 months. On too many things I tend to sputter out before reaching the end and the quality of the final result suffers.

If the congregation agrees Walter will be serving on the board as an at-large member. Initially, I was hesitant about that but I think I will appreciate the support. There will be some things that will need to be communicated and agreed upon beforehand. We can deal with that at a board retreat.

I almost overwhelmed myself thinking about the things that need to get done before the June meeting. Calm down, take a deep breath, find the quiet.

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My Spanish lessons are taking hold. If I need to count, about 75% of the time, I do so in Spanish. I can count up to 59. I haven't learned the word for 60, yet.

Loki's adoption did not work out. He is back in my home. Jam will be going to a different foster home. The fence jumping is a bit worrisome and we did not want to leave Jam in her kennel for 8 or more hours a day. Hopefully, Jam will go to a foster that can supervise her outside time a bit more closely.

I'm also temp fostering Bailey. You can find a picture of her in an earlier post.

Here's a good picture of Loki:

This postcard from www.postsecret.com really cheered me up. It gave me a bit of hope about the state of my world.

I voted no on the silly amendment.

As the movement to ban all forms of birth control and to define marriage as a union of one man and one woman for the purpose of producing children becomes more vocal I sometimes worry about my own marriage becoming illegal. All the sex in my marriage is nonreproductive.

Fortunately, there is a decent size segment of Fundamentalist Christianity that celebrates sexuality in the context of marriage and that the primary purpose of sex within marriage is not reproduction but rather the mutual pleasure of each partner. God created sex for fun. I heard that in an Evangelical church that I used to go to. I think it is just the Conservative Catholics that have a bug up their ass about nonreproductive sex within marriage.

Allowing homosexuals to marry won't lead to allowing people to marry anything or anyone. Women getting the right to vote did not lead to hamsters getting the vote. Bill Maher made that observation.

Consider all the Trekkies that fall in love and get married. If you go to a Star Trek convention or any science fiction convention you will quickly conclude that love works in mysterious ways and that we should not be putting stuff in the constitution - state or U.S. - about it.

My truthful resume.

Objective: To get as much money as possible in exchange for as little effort possible.

Education: I got a degree but not the one you want. It has been over 10 years since I received this degree. Does it still matter?

Work experience:
I have done just about everything. Cleaning, yard work, cooking (the jobs Americans refuse to do - I'm an American and I have done them - I was paid minimum wage), day care worker, food delivery, painting, design, desktop publishing, sign installation, scene building, stage hand, retail clerk, photo lab work, office work, drawing, telemarketing, outside sales.

Skills:
Too many to list. Varying degrees of use.

References:
Hell no. I don't trust anyone to tell the truth about me. I can barely tell the truth about me.

Here is Jam, the amazing fence leaping dog! Isn't she a pretty girl? She is available through http://www.woodstocktexas.org She jumps the fence but does not stray far from the house. She was found this afternoon laying under one of the trees in the front yard.

This week I ran 10.17 miles burned 1,268.6 calories and weigh 165 pounds.
Monday walked 1.31 miles in 35 minutes
Wednesday ran 5K in 42:02
Friday ran 4.77 miles in 65 minutes

I skipped my Saturday run to work on the presentation that I gave in church this morning. The presentation went okay. I should have manually forwarded slides rather than use auto timing. But it is done. Most everyone enjoyed the cartoons. Nobody has threatened to throw me out. I'm never quite satisfied with anything that I do.

I taught the children the meaning of procrastination and a funny response if they are asked what is procrastination and I read them a Grimm Fairy Tale - The King and his Three Lazy Sons.

I did think of some Unitarian - Univerasalist heresy: BOB DYLAN SUCKS!

Let's see if that gets me excommunicated.

Oh, yeah.

It is National Cartoonist Day.

Hug and more importantly give money to your local cartoonist.

I guess I should show a little more excitement:

Happy Cartoonist Day!

Buy me a beer. You can pretend it is for Cinco de Mayo.

I did not go to the gym after work. I was tired. Instead went to Taco Cabana with Walter. Drank a margarita. The margaritas at Taco Cabana are quite strong. I had a nice buzz going before I was half finished.

I skipped the gym and my irrational fear of instantly regaining all of the weight I lost did not happen.

I got a decent night's rest. That probably did more for my health than any time in the gym.

I've written most of my presentation for this Sunday. There is more to say but I cannot come up with the words. I might go into the dangerous world of speaking off the cuff. Hopefully the cartoons will fill in the gaps.

I still haven't decided on a story for all ages - the children's story. The last time I did the children's story, it was a huge hit. I'm trying to avoid the pressure of living up to that performance.

I'm thinking about doing a live drawing. The whole program is about religion and cartoons. So, why not create a cartoon live? Sort of a goofy creation story.

In the beginning was a blank sheet of paper. The creator divided the blank sheet into panel and off panel. I sort of stuck there. I want to draw a funny scene and then let the kids attempt to come up with a punchline.

I find myself in this situation because of my own procrastination. This date was set several months of ago and I could have invited a professional cartoonist to speak. There are two that live nearby. But I let other things distract me and it became too late to extend the invitation and here I am about to bore the hell out of several people this Sunday. Removing the hell out of people is one of the functions of church but this is an Unitarian Universalist church and we don't believe in Hell in the eternal damnation sense.

Fortunately, the congregation as a whole is a forgiving group. This will be the last time that I test the extent of that forgiveness in the pulpit. I will have plenty of time to test the forgiveness if I get voted as Board of Trustees President. I've been the President-Elect for a year.

I'm excited.

I remembered to update! That is an unusually muscular cartoon self-portrait. I've never done it but I think I can toss a Gap sales girl at least 10 feet. I've been working out. I don't have the strength to lift one up by her neck.

I'm getting some rest tonight.

Buenos Noches.

I don't feel like doing anything. It is that 4:45 malaise. Not enough time to start another project but still can't leave.

I'm learning Spanish using some Berlitz CDs I bought at a garage sale. I listen while driving. Yo escucho la CD. Yo escucho la CD de Espanol en mi coche. I'm working on thinking and talking not writing so I'm not sure it any of that is spelled correctly or even grammatically correct. I'm doing this not because I'm particularly interested in communicating with Spanish speaking people but to keep my mind from turning to mush.

Being able to say, "Control your damn children!, Shut the @#$% up and Why are you taking family planning advice from the Pope?" in Spanish would be a great side effect.

Sorry, that was mean. There are millions of Spanish speakers who ignore the Pope.

Hasta luego!

Son las Cinco!

I forgot to update the cartoon.

I sent my information to the church secretary for an upcoming service and marked that off my "to do" list. While doing that I marked off update website from the list as well. As far as I was concerned I updated the website. I placed the memory of doing the update in my mind but the external evidence proves otherwise.

The mind can play weird tricks. Maybe I can trick my reality into following my imagination. I become fairly adept at delusions. Unfortunately, it is not as a marketable skill as I think. At least, not the sort of delusions I conjure.

The point of this cartoon: Based upon the actions of anti-abortion activists they seem to care very little for the actually born. So much energy is expended to stop abortion but so little is used to improve the lives of those that are born.

In this cartoon, the activists prevented the abortion but failed to provide any help or support to the mother or the child.

I wonder if anti-abortion activists really want to end abortion.

The local Coalition for Life is running ads decrying the quality of the condoms that Planned Parenthood passes out and the lack of a doctor at the local clinic - "only an out of town abortionist". The Coalition for Life's solution - shut down Planned Parenthood.

The Coalition for Life does not pass out higher quality condoms, does not operate a clinic where low income women can get exams (Planned Parenthood also offer gynecological exams - for early detection of diseases, like cancer), does not operate an adoption agency, does not operate a day care so that single women can still go to work and school and keep the kid, does not offer any kind of support for someone wishing to keep the baby, does not offer parenting classes, does not offer sex education (other than sex outside of marriage is bad), does not offer disease prevention information, and does not offer any kind of family planning services. The Coalition for Life does not offer anything to prevent the need for an abortion.

What does the Coalition for Life do? Stand outside of the local Planned Parenthood Clinic and protest and pray; Write down the license plate numbers of vehicles coming into the Planned Parenthood and then from that getting the address registered to the license plate and sending a nasty letter to the address. They interfere with the operations of businesses that support Planned Parenthood. Not a simple boycott but activities that interfere with the business such as tying up fax lines with junk faxes. The Coalition for Life is so obnoxious that they have turned off other anti-abortion groups.

The Coalition for Life has not helped a single child or woman. It is this organization that I had in mind when I drew this cartoon.

If you are an anti-abortion activist that actually does the things that the Coalition for Life does not do - this cartoon is not about you. If your pro-life organization really cares about life (the born and unborn) then this cartoon is not about your organization. If your anti-abortion organization provides all kinds of resources and information (other than celibacy) to prevent unplanned pregnancies then this cartoon is not about you.

If you believe that the point of this cartoon is anything other than what I have stated, then you are wrong. Yes, you are wrong. You are wrong - try to cope. Nope, you are still wrong. It's cute but wrong. It's wrong, I tell you, wrong. No, seriously, you are wrong.

I drew the damn cartoon. I know my own thoughts.

I have a new foster dog. Her name is Jam and she is Loki's sister but she looks nothing like a Bull Mastiff.

Pictures will be posted soon.