Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Icky Female Content

This post contains icky female content. If you're squeamish go away now. Here is a nice place:

I await menopause with great anticipation. Please get here soon. I'm tired of this monthly bullshit. 27 fucking years so far. Maybe I shouldn't be so angry and bitchy about a natural process but the copious amounts of Midol I've taken so far don't seem to be working. I'm in pain and I want it to stop. Please don't justify it with Old Testament theology. Adam & Eve ate the damn fruit and I get punished with this pain.

Wonder why women get so damn bitchy once a month? Guys, imagine this: starting around age 13, every month, someone visits your home, work or school and hits your nads with a baseball bat. After a while you might get a little pissed off at this and maybe give a hearty fuck you to anyone who says that this is natural and part of God's plan or punishment. Maybe get a little peeved when medical people and others don't take your pain seriously.

The over the counter meds suck. But because of some stupid crackers that lack self control I can't access more effective medicine without visiting a doctor who will probably say it's just female problems and not that bad compared to others. I am stronger and have better self-control - give me something effective.

At the moment I don't give a shit about the magnitude of others' pain. I just want mine to stop. 1,500 milligrams of acetaminophen and I still feel like someone is slicing my abdomen from the inside. I'm just pissed off that I've endured this crap for 27 years and there is no one I can blame, punch or shout at. At least the there is an entity in the bat analogy written above.

I don't know how or why I've endured this shit for 27 years. If I person did this to me I would have done something long ago. The pain will pass and I will forget about it until next month.

In about 5 minutes the office holiday luncheon will start. I have to make nice even though I don't feel nice. The annoying part is that this crap is joked about, trivialized and women are taunted if they express a bit of irritation because of this. Men injuring their nads is considered comedy gold but no one expects a man to be nice & polite while enduring the pain.

I'm in pain and I don't want to be nice. I just want it to go away and some space to be grumpy until it does.

Santa, I want menopause this year and an Evel Knievel stunt bike set.

1 comment:

Joy said...

I feel your pain. I'm on year 35. Waiting. Talk about the advent season. However, my pain is not like yours. How you describe it yours is worse. Change doctors, over and over, until you find one that will help you. They have a procedure you know, that will make it all stop... Balloon Ablation. It sounds terrible. But on days like these. The thought of never suffering again makes it sound worth it. Chocolate works, raspberries are better than tylenol if you ask me. Try not to talk to people too much when you want to snap. It's safer.