Muffin Mae Snooze-Alarm

Greg and Mort, stop messing with my head.
Six days! This funeral has gone on for 6 days! Even though people come and go the walls in Santa Royale still rotate. Rotating walls the one constant in the Mary Worth universe.
The hyphenated last name really adds the right touch of surreal. Joe has become used to his sister's insanity and is only concerned about the tree accommodating the fake name.
You're a plugger if you took a low paying job after college or your education was way over-priced. It took me 10 years and I did not land a high paying job after graduation.
Olive Oyl showed her dark side during the spincoal storyline. Olive is either surprised that her dark side is so obvious or confused about the Sea Hag's appalling grammar. It does add a bit of insanity to read it without the contractions.

You are potential, dearie... you are potential!! Maybe Sea Hag plans on changing her career to motivational speaker.

The editor at King Features no longer cares.
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Tomorrow, Walter and I celebrate 14 years of marriage. We did the state sanctioned part at the Justice of the Peace on May 16 and held a ceremony on May 21 (our minister did not have the power vested by the state of Texas). I think this is the gypsum anniversary.

My new job title went into effect on the 15th. Yipee!

I want to find Ballard Street

A humorous example of spiritual community outside of traditional church. I'm not so interested in finding nirvana, heaven, utopia or Sesame Street. I want to go to Ballard Street.

Next week, I will temp foster a Pit Bull named Angus; a watermelon loving Pit Bull. Angus will come over tonight. Read another example of a dog's ability to still love despite tremendous suffering.

Babies grow quickly but damn, growing several inches during a pool party defies biology. Mary, you need to refill your gloat with a bit more smug. Mary once heard that the road to uh, happiness is paved with good intentions.

Perhaps, George W. Bush was prophetic when he spoke against human - animal hybrids during a state of the union speech a couple of years ago. God showed him this cartoon.

Koala Balls

I so want this to end in a bloody peeler massacre. That would lift my spirits. Several pools of blood to add color to a gray day. Maybe it's hormonal but the last panel fills me with rage. The undrawn 6th panel contains the words: try pulling your head out of your very large ass and looking in the fucking drawer where we keep the utensils, you small dicked destroyer of the English language!

Mary Worthless Mary Worth: Day 22. The meeting set up took 3 days and this conversation has been happening over the course of 19 days. 19 days! I would walk into a wall or stare catatonically at window framing like the background people in panel two if I had to endure this conversation for 19 days. I did endure this conversation for 19 days but unlike the background people I can leave. And the walls in my world usually stay put.

A Plugger of indeterminate gender. I can get two cups from one bag.

For someone who was heavily recruited in high school and given a full basketball scholarship at Havens University, Dave sure is a lousy basketball player. I wonder if that causes a bit of resentment among the members of the student body who are more well rounded basketball players and were not given scholarships or a spot on the team? I like Bill Holbrook's comics but there is no way that a player with all of Dave's liabilities (several have been pointed out in the course of the comic) could ever make it on to a collegiate basketball team much less receive any kind of scholarship support in the real world.

Secret Asian Man is a fairly new comic that I've been reading for a few months. I like the art but the writing leaves me a bit lukewarm. The central theme so far is, being Asian in America is tough. I'm not denying that Asian people face difficulties but this guy has shot the horse, beaten the dead horse, resurrected the horse with arcane magic and is beating it to death again. The above comic is a rare departure from the being Asian in America is tough theme. What I found amusing is that a such a wonderful store would carry a product called Koala Balls. What locale produces Koala Balls? How does one ship Koala Balls without using a lot of energy? What are the opinions of the now ball-less Koalas regarding the business practices of Organicopia? Did these balls come from free-range Koalas or factory farmed Koalas?

Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 10 year old child.

Holy Bat! Batman!

Today's single panel theme - percussive therapy with blunt wooden objects:

This really blurs the canine/ human line. For some humans balding is usually just part of the aging process (exceptions for chemo and poisoning) but for a dog balding is the sign of a fairly serious skin condition. The Pluggers disturbs me when it blurs the anthromorphization lines.

Yes, I can. I shall speak of the pompatus of love. Bizarro drew a panel using the same theme a month or so back. This artist decided to play a variation. Now, a different single panel cartoonist needs to work "pompatus of love" into their version of a gag based on Steve Miller's "The Joker"

Check out this blog post on Judge a Book by Its Cover about the wonders of the Internet and my "You've Been Warned" cartooning project. The individual panels will appear daily on my main cartoon site (A Perfect World) starting next Tuesday but if you're the impatient sort you can find them on my Flickr photostream in the You've Been Warned set

Disappearing Bags - the non-brown paper variety

Where did Vera's bags go? The ones that she had yesterday which prevented her from holding her phone in a non-awkward way.

You're not a plugger if you call someone to tell them you're sending them an e-mail, you're very annoying. This level of annoying required a new Plugger species. I wonder if the dog Pluggers get along with the cat Pluggers? Or is cat and dog Plugger segregation the last frontier of prejudice to overcome in Plugger society?
Another entry for the New Yorker redraw Eustace Tilley contest. I created both entries using CorelDraw and a mouse. Eustace drinks a latte and thinks he's dressing ironically.

Judging from the typing scores appearing in the UU blogosphere, I'm the slowest typist in UUdom. Setting the bar low and making everyone else look good - one of many ways I serve my fellow humans.

Ooo! Shiny Object!

YouTube, the shiny object that diverts my attention.

The Causey Family Newsletter: Read Linda's blog. Hey, it's mostly other people's comics and ads!

At church, the subject of reading "Ulysses" came up. It was something a lot of us suffered through (my high school English teacher's Joyce weapon of choice was "The Dead") but not nearly as much as a former Board President. Because of his blindness, he had to listen to records of James Mason reading "Ulysses". That pretty much put suffering through James Joyce in perspective.

Mary Worth has contracted an unusual strain of Asberger's. She won't make eye contact with books or animals. Chester's original dialogue - WTF!

What sort of hybrid is the bear/ kangaroo offspring? Does he have a pouch or any other kangaroo characteristics? Where did his mom's tail go? Did the couple use a surrogate female bear?
Hey, Beavis! Bare ass on the funny pages!

Wilbur Weston, Aikido Master

In the first panel Wilbur demonstrates an Aikido maneuver (maybe Kote gaeshi) to deflect Dawn's little fist to the face. Then he wipes away the tears of pain caused by her sprained wrist and failure to break her fall like Wilbur has tried to teach for all these years.

Gah! No wonder the toilet stops up on a regular basis. With the girth of most Pluggers I find it surprising that plates need scraping. Besides a real Plugger just has the dog take care of the food residue. Other options include the garbage can or compost pile. Thank you, Paula Crites of Bakersfield, Missouri for letting your neighbors know who has been wreaking havoc with the local septic system and exposing the rest of the civilized world to bizarre Missouri customs. GAH! Using the toilet as a garbage disposal!

Dust Speck!

The Gumbos have the same intelligence level as a kitten.

Darth Vader in drag. Ha. Darth Vader would look better in a little black dress than Ann Coulter. Some argue that Ann Coulter is in drag.

and harassment by the police because of complaints from people thinking it's not a cannonball. You will be forced to become a recluse.

What's up with Mary's eyes in the second panel and is Drew's mascara running? What is the purpose of mascara? I've seen countless commercials touting the "benefits" - long eyelashes, etc., but I've never heard a man when describing a woman who has captured his attention describe her eye lashes. I've never pay attention to someones eyelashes unless my attention is drawn by running mascara or tons of it applied to the lashes or obvious fakes. This causes me to think, "Wow, that is a shitload of mascara there." rather than, "Wow, she has beautiful eyes." Mascara does not draw my attention to the eyes and if I notice the mascara then I'm distracted from the feature that the wearer wanted to highlight in the first place. This may make me seem geeky but I do not see the benefit of time and money spent on make up.

My local paper runs this comic strip but reduces it so much that it is barely readable. They wonder why people turn to the web.

A different Pluggers premise from the usual, Pluggers are fat, lazy, poor, old and apathetic. This one: Pluggers are disgusting. Wait maybe it is not new - Pluggers do not care about their cats or their children. Apathetic.

The Oyl's greed shocks Popeye. I never thought of Popeye as a socialist. This will turn out badly in order to maintain the comedy.

On spell check the first suggestion for Coulter is Colder. How appropriate.

Agnostic Hymns

Agnostics do sing hymns. They may have some doubt about the truth of the lyrics but they do sing anyway. Agnostic hymns would be funny, for example, "Nearer my God to Thee, Maybe" I'm sure others can come up with something funnier. Feel free to share in the comments.

First, it was Vera's idea to go riding in Clifton, second you don't own the stables, third watch where you point that finger, fourth take off that helmet and finally get a car in which the door does not close automatically between panels.

I really wonder about Giella's technique. Does he draw the panels on separate sheets of paper and then the syndicate puts them together? If he's drawing the panels side by side he really needs to get something checked - eye sight, perception, ability to move neck or eyes to the left. The steps are basic:

1. Draw panel one with car door open
2. Draw second panel but before drawing car
3. Glance slightly to the left and note the open car door in the first panel
4. Draw car in second panel with an open door

It just occurred to me, maybe Giella draws the right panel first. That would explain some of the continuity errors but then he just has to do the same steps as above except glancing to the right and carrying that information to the left panel.

Giella does draw better than me but even with my limited skills I make the effort to keep some continuity between my panels on the rare occasion that I draw multiple panel comics. I don't think Giella tries anymore.

Common Plugger premise: Pluggers are old (somewhere between 60 and 70). Okay, but this Plugger is extraordinarily old. At least 85 years old, assuming that the hairstyle that she has had since 1941 is an adult hairstyle. She is one hot geriatric mama. She looks good for over 80.

Do Pluggers age in human years or in the years of their respective species?

We'd Like to Not Work

My career objective: to get as much money as possible in exchange for as little work as possible.

Drew has put on his total wuss war paint in the second panel.

New Plugger species! What do the owl people eat? Is this a night court?

I heard a nice affirmation, yesterday. The cashier at Blimpie looked familiar and she said she went to my church but hasn't gone lately because of a lack of transportation. I gave her my phone and e-mail and told her to call me if she needed a ride. Anyway her boss, chimed in, oh yeah, you go to that awesome church! That particular Blimpie owner has catered a few events at church and knows a couple of members. It was a nice thing to hear from someone who does not attend. Being located in College Station (home of Texas A&M and the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library), we sometimes get a bunker mentality. We are coming out of our shell. No need to stay in the closet anymore. People need us.

Leaky Plumbing and Missing Parts

The first panel is fine but I did not need to know about General Halftrack's leaky parts.

WRONG! This gag does not work in a desert setting. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

Giant mutant killer chihuahua!

Illicit sex or an abortion?

Pluggers have so little regard for themselves or others that they will not pull over until the storm passes.

Embracing the Armored Lifestyle

Your daughter's needs are beyond what the public school system can offer. It's time to consider alternatives.

Popeye really enjoys his girl fights. Judging by the splat it appears mud has become involved. Trench coat guy becomes repulsed and turned on at the same time.

Have your considered calling the police and charging the Forths with trespassing? Quite simple. If the Forths lived in Texas and visited the neighbor's pool at night, the couple in the comic can shoot them. I think a warning shot has to be fired though.

I love the bubble gum. I wonder if the armored lifestyle includes armor camps and resorts. I suppose Ren Fairs and Festivals could count. If the Forth's neighbors take more extreme measures to keep them out of the pool then they may benefit from the armored lifestyle.

I did not know the Family Circus kids had friends outside the family. Jeffy is visiting a friend because with 4 kids the Keanes cannot afford a big screen, flat panel TV mounted on the floor.

Packing them in like sardines. The lady in the background is drinking some kind of potion that magically brings you closer to the objects in the foreground.

Had to include this one because of the department where I work.
You're plugger if you are retarded. Usually, the driver is out of the vehicle when locking the car and setting off the quick honk.