Pepperoni is a nice topping, it doesn't fly south for the winter

When I feel bad about my drawing skills, I read the Quigmans and feel much better.

Cartoonists on acid:

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
God did not @#$%! put the light in the fridge, a human being at the fridge factory put the light in the fridge! That human being does not give a rat's ass about your snacking habits, Billy! Another thing, the common usage is midnight SNACK not treat.

Better to abuse the Family Circus children than real children.

The flame thrower is more fun but not quite as environmentally friendly.

Guy Williams plays the role of Drew Cory in panel one. If a simple break-up leaves Dr. Drew reeling, I wonder what the sight of real suffering would do to him? Throw him into some kind of catatonic state? How does he practice medicine? Drew, you do need to get away from Santa Royale. Take your dad with you. Take me with you. Plenty of poverty in the Caribbean.

A funny blog that I added to my feeds: Stuff White People Like A funny look at "white culture" or at least the somewhat progressive, privileged, hipster aspects of whiteness.

Pick up after your dog

Mary Worth follows the condo rules but completely ignores the local leash laws. Mary rules Charterstone and Santa Royale, leash laws do not apply to her. I bet she won't go out there and pick up after Chester.

Oh my God. I received a vision of the upcoming storyline! Mary Worth learns a painful lesson about picking up after your dog after a child of a Charterstone resident spends a month in a coma after the child injures his/her head after slipping on one of Chester's droppings that Mary neglected to pick up. See Mary wracked with guilt. See Mary give advice about cleaning up after your dog in the form of a sickening platitude. See Dr Jeff Cory's heroic doctor skills bring that child out of a coma. See Mary express so much self-satisfaction with her decision to force Dr. Cory to leave Vietnam that she explodes into a supernova of self-congratulation so powerful that it collapses in on itself and sucks all of Charterstone and Santa Royale into its black hole.

It would be funnier if all the residents of Charterstone stage an intervention to get Mary to pick up after her dog. All of them say in unison: "Mary, we are tired of slipping in dog shit!"

Hey, King Features! If Karen Moy has to leave please consider the above my resume.

Huh?
What? Can we write comics that make sense?

Contents settle during shipping. Why did a man send this in?

Think about Crock

Mr. Giella, thank you for not drawing Mary Worth wearing bicycle shorts and shirt.
How did Mary get her hair into that helmet?
Where did the fence go in the second panel?
How can Mary have a flashback to an event she did not witness?

Oh my! The scary ass chicken appears again!

If you need to stop song playing in your head, think about this Crock episode. Really think long and hard about this Crock. Think beyond the borders. Think about the cook's methods. Think about this Crock. The song has gone away.

Dust Speck!

The Gumbos have the same intelligence level as a kitten.

Darth Vader in drag. Ha. Darth Vader would look better in a little black dress than Ann Coulter. Some argue that Ann Coulter is in drag.

and harassment by the police because of complaints from people thinking it's not a cannonball. You will be forced to become a recluse.

What's up with Mary's eyes in the second panel and is Drew's mascara running? What is the purpose of mascara? I've seen countless commercials touting the "benefits" - long eyelashes, etc., but I've never heard a man when describing a woman who has captured his attention describe her eye lashes. I've never pay attention to someones eyelashes unless my attention is drawn by running mascara or tons of it applied to the lashes or obvious fakes. This causes me to think, "Wow, that is a shitload of mascara there." rather than, "Wow, she has beautiful eyes." Mascara does not draw my attention to the eyes and if I notice the mascara then I'm distracted from the feature that the wearer wanted to highlight in the first place. This may make me seem geeky but I do not see the benefit of time and money spent on make up.

My local paper runs this comic strip but reduces it so much that it is barely readable. They wonder why people turn to the web.

A different Pluggers premise from the usual, Pluggers are fat, lazy, poor, old and apathetic. This one: Pluggers are disgusting. Wait maybe it is not new - Pluggers do not care about their cats or their children. Apathetic.

The Oyl's greed shocks Popeye. I never thought of Popeye as a socialist. This will turn out badly in order to maintain the comedy.

On spell check the first suggestion for Coulter is Colder. How appropriate.

One Shred of Hope

Better than 9 inch nails. Ba-da-bump!

Momma hoped her youngest son is a drag queen?

As a Star Trek fan I'm obligated to point out Trek sightings in the comics page. A very poor caricature of young William Shatner.

Leaky Plumbing and Missing Parts

The first panel is fine but I did not need to know about General Halftrack's leaky parts.

WRONG! This gag does not work in a desert setting. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

Giant mutant killer chihuahua!

Illicit sex or an abortion?

Pluggers have so little regard for themselves or others that they will not pull over until the storm passes.