Zombie comic tries to make a point

The flag is labeled white in case the coloring gnomes at King Features screw things up.

Grin and Bear It grasps for relevance. Senility illustrated.

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Cartooning does bring out the demented aspects of my personality. Today, I spent a great deal of time making sure that a drawing of a poo-flinging machine could work plausibly. I had no problem with a monkey wearing glasses, speaking and presenting a drawing. The details that I fixate upon sometimes worry me.

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Christmas came early: http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&tab=wn&ned=us&q=Ann+Coulter&btnG=Search+News

Ann Coulter, the leggy reactionary broke her jaw and the mouth that roared has been wired shut.

Who's going to blow Sean Hannity for the next few weeks?

Putting underwear on a planet

Jupiter looks better in a brief rather than a boxer-brief.
The new guy may save B.C. from zombie-stripdom. This one will generate a few irate letters to the editor.
Does Harriet understand what the cat says or does it just sound like a lot of meowing to her? The cat will have no trouble obtaining a gun permit, it's obtaining the gun that the cat will have trouble with.
Olive Oyl does fit in very well here.

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I'm taking time off from work but not from reading the funnies. Today's comics are brought to you by the letter B.

Meddling as a spiritual practice

Karen Moy strings us along. Will this take a turn for the interesting or lame? Will Mary realize that she has more than a compulsion? She has an addiction since her need to meddle interferes with other parts of her life. What spiritual void is Mary trying to fill with her meddling?

I think Mary lacks a soul but she does not realize it. She goes through the motions of kindness, compassion and helpfulness to avoid the realization that her existence is hollow.

The Kelrast Scale remains at 0 since this plot could take a turn for the interesting.

Hagsville is full of mean and nasty people but green mean and nasty people. Mean people like clean water just as much as nice people. I like how Olive Oyl's attempted suicide is looked upon as pollution.

Muffin Mae Snooze-Alarm

Greg and Mort, stop messing with my head.
Six days! This funeral has gone on for 6 days! Even though people come and go the walls in Santa Royale still rotate. Rotating walls the one constant in the Mary Worth universe.
The hyphenated last name really adds the right touch of surreal. Joe has become used to his sister's insanity and is only concerned about the tree accommodating the fake name.
You're a plugger if you took a low paying job after college or your education was way over-priced. It took me 10 years and I did not land a high paying job after graduation.
Olive Oyl showed her dark side during the spincoal storyline. Olive is either surprised that her dark side is so obvious or confused about the Sea Hag's appalling grammar. It does add a bit of insanity to read it without the contractions.

You are potential, dearie... you are potential!! Maybe Sea Hag plans on changing her career to motivational speaker.

The editor at King Features no longer cares.
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Tomorrow, Walter and I celebrate 14 years of marriage. We did the state sanctioned part at the Justice of the Peace on May 16 and held a ceremony on May 21 (our minister did not have the power vested by the state of Texas). I think this is the gypsum anniversary.

My new job title went into effect on the 15th. Yipee!

Dust Speck!

The Gumbos have the same intelligence level as a kitten.

Darth Vader in drag. Ha. Darth Vader would look better in a little black dress than Ann Coulter. Some argue that Ann Coulter is in drag.

and harassment by the police because of complaints from people thinking it's not a cannonball. You will be forced to become a recluse.

What's up with Mary's eyes in the second panel and is Drew's mascara running? What is the purpose of mascara? I've seen countless commercials touting the "benefits" - long eyelashes, etc., but I've never heard a man when describing a woman who has captured his attention describe her eye lashes. I've never pay attention to someones eyelashes unless my attention is drawn by running mascara or tons of it applied to the lashes or obvious fakes. This causes me to think, "Wow, that is a shitload of mascara there." rather than, "Wow, she has beautiful eyes." Mascara does not draw my attention to the eyes and if I notice the mascara then I'm distracted from the feature that the wearer wanted to highlight in the first place. This may make me seem geeky but I do not see the benefit of time and money spent on make up.

My local paper runs this comic strip but reduces it so much that it is barely readable. They wonder why people turn to the web.

A different Pluggers premise from the usual, Pluggers are fat, lazy, poor, old and apathetic. This one: Pluggers are disgusting. Wait maybe it is not new - Pluggers do not care about their cats or their children. Apathetic.

The Oyl's greed shocks Popeye. I never thought of Popeye as a socialist. This will turn out badly in order to maintain the comedy.

On spell check the first suggestion for Coulter is Colder. How appropriate.

Popeye the Sailor Man

Interesting story from another blog: http://www.danielharper.org/blog/?p=981

Rich Hall in one of his "Sniglets" books from the 1980's referred to it as barcuuming - using the dog as a vacuum cleaner. I use Loki like that from time to time. I don't spill that much on the floor. Loki's first adoption anniversary approaches. I will see to it he receives something special.
Drew and Vera enjoying a meal at one of those fancy revolving wall restaurants.Does reading homoerotic undertones in Popeye's statement in panel two indicate a mental problem? Does using the terms "homoerotic" and "Popeye" in the same sentence indicate even more serious problems? The implied homo-eroticism in panel 2 caused me to ignore Olive's exorcist like movements in panel 3. I need to get my mind out of the gutter.

Friday

Brilliant idea, Marcus! I should do the same thing. I should put together an activity kit for social gatherings and market it to introverts to use while being forced to attend a social gathering.

Beetle, that's not casual, that's insane!

I can imagine what having a squirrel running around in my blouse and removing my bra feels like.
SPELLMAN! The asshole harassing Dr. Drew about his sex life is named Spellman. About damn time the guy got a name.
Those are not strawberries but peyote.

I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel in regards to the project, I dubbed the Infinite Project. Turns out it was a train. Things keep getting added to this damn project. I think I will qualify for retirement (time of service + age = 80; in my case 10 years + 38 years old = 48 subtract from 80 = 32 years until qualification for full retirement) before this project sees its first iteration. This project will require periodic updates.

I did not update my cartoon last night because I attended a long board meeting. There was a lot to cover. I could have updated after my dental appointment this morning but I decided I needed a nap instead. I have great teeth, the dentist said my teeth were fun to floss and my blood pressure was 115/ 52. Maybe my dentist needs to get out more - using flossing and fun in the same sentence. I admire him for finding joy in the small things.

Edgar is becoming more confident about leaving the cage. I let the birds out while I took my nap. Salvador perched on my upper arm (I usually sleep on my side). When I got out of bed I almost stepped on Edgar. He was on the floor in the hallway. He usually perches on the top of the cage or on some shelves. Fortunately, Edgar got away quickly.

During my nap I dreamt that both Edgar and Salvador were flying around outside. Edgar was flying and landing very well. Both of the birds landed among a group of wild birds. Then Salvador was picked up by a Great Blue Heron. That upset me. I sort of woke up to the sound of one of Salvador's chirps. I moved on to my back and Salvador moved on to my pillow. He is molting so when I left this afternoon there was a small pile of feathers on my pillow.

Assumptions

Where did Dr. Drew get the non-white lab coat? Does Dr. Drew have to bitch slap him a colleague?

So this is what madness looks like. Yeah, Olive, Popeye has his head stuck inside the mouth of a cow because he no longer cares about you. I've known people who would make the same sort of assumption. The cow thing only demonstrates the insanity of assuming that other people's motives for their actions stem from lack of care for you or out of spite. Sometimes it is what it is - nothing else.

I've fallen a bit behind in my gag writing. Fortunately, something usually comes to me when I sit down and draw. I had some time to write while waiting for a speaker, today. My usual technique involves sort of stream of consciousness writing and doodling. I can get a few viable gags out of that in a 30 minute session. Today, I tried writing gags around a theme. I chose waiting because that's what I was doing. Got 5 solid gags out of a 10 minute session. I will try this technique for a while. Add some focus to my writing.

Better Half of Dark Thoughts

Watch out Harriet. One day Stanley will snap after hearing one too many belittling comments. Maybe the blunt object is off panel. It's always a blunt object because a gun shot is too quick. A blunt object will allow Stanley to kill Harriet bit by bit in the same way that Harriet's demeaning comments chipped away at Stanley's soul bit by bit.

A single Better Half leads to more dark thoughts than several weeks of Mark Trail.
What drugs is Popeye's writer and artist using and where can I get some for myself?

It's really funny if you imagine William Shatner reading the dialogue.

Embracing the Armored Lifestyle

Your daughter's needs are beyond what the public school system can offer. It's time to consider alternatives.

Popeye really enjoys his girl fights. Judging by the splat it appears mud has become involved. Trench coat guy becomes repulsed and turned on at the same time.

Have your considered calling the police and charging the Forths with trespassing? Quite simple. If the Forths lived in Texas and visited the neighbor's pool at night, the couple in the comic can shoot them. I think a warning shot has to be fired though.

I love the bubble gum. I wonder if the armored lifestyle includes armor camps and resorts. I suppose Ren Fairs and Festivals could count. If the Forth's neighbors take more extreme measures to keep them out of the pool then they may benefit from the armored lifestyle.

I did not know the Family Circus kids had friends outside the family. Jeffy is visiting a friend because with 4 kids the Keanes cannot afford a big screen, flat panel TV mounted on the floor.

Packing them in like sardines. The lady in the background is drinking some kind of potion that magically brings you closer to the objects in the foreground.

Had to include this one because of the department where I work.
You're plugger if you are retarded. Usually, the driver is out of the vehicle when locking the car and setting off the quick honk.

Girl Fight!

Now, I want to see where this ride ends. Ruthie has gone beyond childhood imagination and has lost her grip on reality.

Popeye likes to watch women fight. Tomorrow he will ask the trench coat guy to turn on the sprinklers. To continue the insanity Sweet and Olive need to break out into a Bollywood style musical number instead of a fight.

I choose my cell phones based on the camera rather than on the main function. I'm still learning how to discreetly take photos of fat chicks with tramp stamps.

I wonder about the Bumstead's closet arrangements. Did Dagwood choose the pants while sleep walking?

Wendy, the word you are looking for is moron.
Lola needs to get rid of the black sweater because it shortens her arms.
Red wine goes with beige unidentifiable chunks while beer goes with light yellow and green unidentifiable chunks. Dawn's hair - organic material or sheet metal?

Heart of Darkness in Four Panels or Less

Your honor, that's when I shot her. I got tired of her misinterpreting my intentions. Combine this with yesterday's comic, I don't think a jury would convict Stanley.

Jeffy is a little too into this pirate game. Billy and Dolly's blank expression scares me.

A good question in the last panel. The answer, in most cases, is no.

Roger was helping rock the baby to sleep by reading Shirley Jackson's, "The Lottery" and adding some elements to make the story more interesting for the baby to hear.

Further down the rabbit hole of Ruthie's madness.

I've added Popeye to my comics list because of the Comics Curmudgeon. The storyline has become quite insane. I forgot to save today's Popeye with its inappropriate sound effect.