Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

I haven't drawn a cartoon in two days. Fortunately, I have a backlog of a month's worth of cartoons.

My schedule has been turned topsy-turvy since school started. Things should be back to normal by next week.

My first training run for the Houston Marathon is this Saturday. I hope the morning is still nice and cool.

I love last minute revisions and additions.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Loki slept all night outside his kennel. He walked into the bedroom at about 5:30 am. I was awakened by fuzzy muzzle to the middle of my back. Hot dog breath is even better.

Right now Loki is outside enjoying the exceptionally cool morning.

Walter made breakfast so I have time to do other things.

So far, I've made it to work on time and have not hit the 10:00 am wall of drowsiness.

I'm not feeling so overwhelmed by church stuff right now. That may change later in the day.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I made a Dogster page for Loki:
He has seven pals so far.

Yesterday was the first day of classes. It was a long day. I got quite a workout - climbing and groping.

A new projector has been ordered for my classroom. Meanwhile, the old projector is showing a lamp replacement warning. Since the remote disappeared I have to hop onto a table and then reach up to the manual controls and feel for the right button to turn off the warning. Did this five times yesterday.

So far today, most of the classes have not needed the projector. The afternoon classes will need to use the projector and one evening class will use it. I showed the assistant in last night's evening class where the off button is, so I don't have to do this next week for the Monday evening class. I hope the new projector comes in soon.

I still have a lot of church related stuff to do. This is almost a fulltime job. So how do I find time to post blog entries and make a Dogster page and update my cartoon website? I don't have to work all the time. The breaks make me more productive.

I will make the time to do the church stuff. I just don't want to do it right now.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

This week I ran 14.85 miles, burned 1,877.6 calories and weigh 167.8 pounds.

Monday: 5.29 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday: 5K in 31:57
Friday: 6.08 miles in 1:05:00

Walter and I took Loki for a walk this evening. He did well. Only had one minor incident with a loose smaller dog. People will learn that this city has a leash law.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I made it to work 15 minutes early. Walter making breakfast made that possible and getting out of bed by 6:00 am also helped.

Now, I'm trying to get through the 10:00 am sleepiness wall. If I can make it to 11:00 am without dosing off then I should be alert for the rest of the day.

A successful person is one who went ahead and did the thing the rest of us never quite got around to.
I wish a successful person would come along and write the things I need to write for church.

People rarely disclose their character so clearly as when they describe someone else's.

Everything now being done is going to be done differently; it's going to be done better, and if you don't do it, your competitor will.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Loki has become more clever about opening the back gate. Not only did he push up the latch but also the wire we installed to keep the gate closed. Walter put him in the back yard and then went out the front door and found Loki greeting him.

Walter revised the installation of the wire. I'm hoping that Loki learns to use the mower or refill the holes that River dug.

I'm waiting on Loki's paperwork so I can take him to the vet and maybe obedience classes. I also need to pay Woodstock.

I received my appointment letter for the next fiscal year. It is a letter detailing my job title and pay scale for the next fiscal year. It is becoming more difficult for me to change jobs when this one is fulfilling most of my number one personal objective. If I did not have to get up so early then this job would hit it 100%.

Money can't buy happiness but neither can poverty.

Monday, August 21, 2006

A scary picture. It was part of an e-mail I received. Not the most flattering photo of this person. Vaguely looks like my mother. A younger version of my mother or an older version of my sister. In defense of both my mother and sister, neither of them would send an unflattering photo as part of a testimonial. Neither of them wear that much make-up and no longer use excessive hair product. And they don't have any weird growths coming out of their necks (at least they didn't last time I saw them). The more I look at this picture more unlike my mother and sister this woman becomes.

The photo is from My Points. I do remember how the woman in this photo redeemed her points. The photo blotted it out from my mind and all I wanted was my lousy 5 points for reading the e-mail.

The photo looks like a mug shot. Maybe My Points has the same photo filters as the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Watched the Roast of William Shatner last night. Boy, George Takei took a lot of hits. He dished it out quite well. He really stepped out of character to deliver those lines. I might purchase the uncensored DVD. I tried to catch some of the exclusives on Mother Load but the interface was a bit frustrating and I could not play the videos I wanted.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Loki is home. I filled out his application today. He was glad to see me. He has put on a bit of weight. Right now, he is sleeping on the floor by the computer desk.

This week I ran 33.16 miles, burned 3849.8 calories and weigh 169.2 pounds.

Sunday ran 14.49 miles in 3:20:00
Wednesday ran 5K in 32:31
Friday ran 5.9 miles in 1:05:00
Saturday ran 15K in 2:24:00

I ran the 15K loop of my upcoming 50K race. Tough trail. I nearly fell down four times. I will walk quite a bit during this portion of the race. I may have to reevaluate my time goal.

Friday, August 18, 2006

The special board meeting went well. We had a quorum. Even had a board member vote from the hospital. The potential minister is excited. I'm waiting on paperwork.

The gag well has been running a bit dry lately. I can come up with many funny things but nothing that translates into cartoon form very well. For example, Dolly Parton singing the opening song from the Sound of Music. Cartoons are a visual medium and this Dolly Parton thing is an audio gag.

Dolly Parton has recorded a lot of music. I bet she has tackled Rogers and Hammerstein. I'll have to search my MP3 service.

Loki is coming back. Walter and I are going to adopt him. He needs a real permanent home. I'll be glad to see him again.

Salvador's flight feathers have grown back so he is back to his old self.

This gag writing slump has gone on too long.

Speaking of writing, I need to write an article for the church newsletter, welcome packet, welcome web page and search packet. There is a lot of writing involved in the board president job. Also, I still need to talk to some more people about church stuff.

"Church stuff" is a term I use when it is inappropriate, in a publicly available blog, to go into detail. I write about church stuff here mostly for my benefit but also for the benefit of anyone curious about the inner workings of an UU church. There is the words we share with the public and there is how we really act. In the case of my church the words match the deeds 90% of the time. It could be higher but my church welcomes imperfect people. Some of these imperfect people get elected as Board President. Maybe these writings will benefit anyone thinking about taking on a leadership position in their church.

Right now, things are a bit heavy on the church front but so far, as a whole, this Board President experience has been rewarding. The load will lighten when some of the more pressing church stuff is taken care of. I can't afford to bribe everyone with dessert. I hope someone says yes.

I saw the new chalice early and I look forward to heaping praise on the Finance Committee at an appreciation dinner for them.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Obtainable Affirmations

  1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
  2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
  3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
  4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.
  5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
  6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.
  7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.
  8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.
  9. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
  10. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
[From AndyChaps!]

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

River went to her new home today. I took her to work and she enjoyed the attention.

I took the afternoon off to take River to her home. I enjoyed having the extra time. I finally put up the clean clothes and loaded the dishwasher.

The crows and grackles ate all the bird seed. No dog to run them off.

Tomorrow, I attempt to use my powers of persuasion. The English language makes absolutely no sense.

Since I got things done a bit earlier than usual, I'm going to bed early.

Monday, August 14, 2006

"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
--P. J. O'Rourke

I have a special church board meeting to preside tonight. The main agenda item is the hiring of a minister. Actually, in this case a ministerial candidate. She has completed her course work and needs to do her internship before she can become ordained. Hopefully, she will gain some good experience with our church and the church will gain something as well. I look forward to working with this person.
I need to write a nice welcome letter for our packet and website. I will try to use my own voice without displaying the more twisted parts of my personality. Be warm and friendly and leave the comedy at home. Most of the comedy.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

This week I ran 14.47 miles, burned 1805.1 calories and weigh 169.3 pounds.
Last week I ran 24.62 miles, burned 2496.5 calories and weighed 169.5 pounds.

Sunday, July 30: 14:06 miles in 2:56:00
Monday, July 31: 4.56 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday, August 2: .52 miles
Friday, August 4: 5.45 miles in 1:05:00
Sunday, August 6: 10K in 1:27:00
Monday, August 7: 4.51 miles in 1:05:00
Wednesday, August 9: 5K in 33:06

I had a bunch of meetings these past two weeks. I have more next week. I don't want to know what it would be like to be the Board President of a large church.

Tomorrow, I will attempt to run about 21 miles. I mapped out a 3 mile (2.97 miles exactly) route. I did this to prepare for the mental challenge of repeating trails in the 50K trail run in September.

River's adoption application was approved. She will be going to her new home sometime this week.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Thursday is the usual quote day but I had to put a few things on notice.

Not a day passes over this earth, but men and women of no note do great deeds, speak great words and suffer noble sorrows.
- Charles Reed

The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. - Henri-Frederic Amiel
Used this one as opening words for the church Board Meeting last night. It was a hit.

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing. - Alexander Woollcott (a man of many double letters in his surname)

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

Thursday, August 10, 2006

You're on notice!
On notice board generator courtesy of
Follow the instructions and don't steal this guy's bandwidth.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Blog 108: August 9, 2006

The latest sample of Steve Sutton in action

Something Awful introduced me to a man so uninteresting that he loops back to interesting. Steve's World - the world of Steve Sutton, a captivatingly boring person.

Monday, August 07, 2006

I've posted a cartoon with an offer. I often receive e-mails urging me to kill myself and/or stop posting cartoons. I also receive positive e-mails.

Taking a cue from the U.S. government, I will not post a cartoon on a day that I receive $200 USD. Like the U.S. government paying farmers not to grow certain crops, I'm asking people to pay me not to post cartoons.

If people are really concerned about the quality of web comics then back it up with some cash. For those who like my cartoons, I have other buttons at

I have no plans to kill myself.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

It's pithy quotes Thursday!

No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a teacher. - Ben Johnson

People who write the most interesting and effective letters never answer letters. They answer people.

And they never answer my @#$! e-mails! Especially, when I need information. The simple answers take forever to get but the more complex things are responded to immediately, despite a not possessing a full grasp of the situation.

There is something terribly wrong with my country. I don't know how to fix it.
Anyone that thinks that this cluster-fuck can be resolved by simply voting for Democrats is an idiot. I think it will take something more cataclysmic. I'm thinking something bloody and violent but that never ends well.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I was at a retreat Sunday and Monday. It was fun, productive and much needed.

Got out of bed at 5:45 am this morning and I'm not struggling to stay awake. Hurray for small miracles.

Because of the retreat I have a half gallon of Blue Bell Buttered Pecan ice cream that I have to dispose of. In the interests of the starving children in Africa I must eat this ice cream myself. It's what Jesus would do.

This week's list - Why I hate clothes shopping

  1. Collared shirts without sleeves. These damn things are on the racks. Clothing should not go on the rack until it is finished. Sewing sleeves on cannot be any more difficult than adding a collar. The sleeveless shirts do not keep anyone cooler than a short sleeved shirt.
  2. Capris. I @#$#%! hate capris and their variants - cropped pants, extra long shorts. I have a hard enough time finding pants with long enough legs without @#$%! capris lurking on the shelves and racks pretending to be legitimate pants. Want to be cool in the summer - try shorts.
  3. I'm not a plumber, carpenter or refridgerator repair man. I can't wait until this low-cut crap goes out of fashion. I live in the United States - the low-cut look is not hot on 70% of the women in this country - yet clothing manufacturers make these things in sizes that would accommodate that 70%. Certain clothing should not be made in certain sizes.
  4. Would it kill fashion designers to put real sizes on clothes? Waist, Hip, Inseam. 3 little numbers. No, I have to try on everything. It's amazing that a size 12 in one brand fits just as well as a size 16 in another. Look at the amazing shape shifting woman!
  5. Shouldn't a higher size number on a pair of pants have longer legs than the lower number? In my world the legs should get longer as the size number increases but that does not happen in the world I'm forced to shop in - things only get wider.
I would enjoy clothes shopping a bit more if I did not have such a crappy attitude and stores stopped selling ugly, ill-fitting garments.