How to recognize the signs of an imminent Mary Worth attack

How to recognize the signs of an imminent Mary Worth attack

Shout Outs!

I need to get the bit of promo for "The Word" app that airs at the end of the Colbert Report to put on my website. It's the second one where Stephen points to and says the phrase, 'A Perfect World'. Happens to be the name of my comic and the domain name: aperfectworld.org.

Why dot org? When I bought the domain name the dot com version was being used by a male enhancement company. perfectworld.com is a MMORG. aperfectworld.com has nothing on it.

I subscribe to UUpdates feed. Below a list of individual blogs on UUpdates that I always read (no particular order):

• Ms. Kitty's Saloon and Road Show http://mskittyssaloonandroadshow.blogspot.com/
• it's all one thing http://shetterly.blogspot.com/
• CUUMBYA http://cuumbaya.blogspot.com/
• Beauty Tips for Ministers http://beautytipsforministers.com/ (odd since I'm neither a professional minister or interested in fashion)
• The Chaliceblog http://chalicechick.blogspot.com/
• Tete-a-Tete-Tete http://tete-tete-tete.com/ (Sorry, too lazy to look up the html for accented characters)
• The Journey http://uuminister.blogspot.com/
• The Wild Hunt http://wildhunt.org/blog/ (another odd one for me since I'm not a pagan. Proof that I do read word press based blogs)
• Pfarrer Streccius http://pfarrerstreccius.blogspot.com/ (I skip the Illinois politics posts)
• Yet Another Unitarian Universalist http://www.danielharper.org/blog/
• Orcinus http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/

Thank you to each of you for sharing your thoughts.

I felt like making some recommendations since we all have a limited amount of time. I feel the above blogs are a good use of my limited blog reading time.

Looking over the list I notice a majority use Blogger and hosted by Blogspot.com. I use Blogger and this blog is hosted by Blogspot.com. I wonder if my list would be different if I used WordPress or a different platform?

Why I don't read your UU blog?

• Congregation specific (nothing wrong with that.)
• Read entries that grab my attention but not a regular reader
• Location specific
• Just not interested in the topic

Lack of quality is not a reason.

Mary Faust: More Dedication

Click on cartoon to enlarge.

Today's larger word balloons allowed me to place more text. If you wish to keep up with the storyline as written by Karen Moy visit Mary Worth & Me. Wanders & friends do an outstanding job of keeping up with the goings on in Santa Royale. You will understand the humor of Mary Worth if you spend any time over there. Be sure to enjoy the Charterstone Jukebox.

Looking forward to the Sunday comic. Lots of balloons to fill.

Sorrow revives, her wail of anguish sending
Back o'er life's devious labyrinthine way,
And names the dear ones, they whom Fate bereaving
Of life's fair hours, left me behind them grieving.

They hear me not my later cadence singing,
The souls to whom my earlier lays I sang;

This day in history

On January 13th, 1854, Anthony Faas patented the accordion.


When the Mayan Calendar ends all accordions, knowledge of accordions and accordion music will vanish from the universe ushering an era of peace and prosperity. Not at all the cataclysm predicted by many.


On an unrelated note:

Some UU bloggers have asked what Unitarian Universalism can offer. Agnes' friend has a good set of suggestions:

1. Teach me to be useful
2. Teach me how to laugh with true joy
3. Teach me how to make a really good pie

Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel

An idea so brilliant that I had to steal it. More like inspired me to think about the songs that move me and share them with others. Shamelessly stolen from UU A Way of Life - my kind of church music. Our tastes may overlap though mine tends toward the mainstream. I would pick Peace Train by Cat Stevens for my kind of church music, too.

My first pick for my kind of church music: Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel

What I've Done in My Life

What have you done in your life? -- A meme I found on another blog. What I've done is in bold.

To play, copy the following list. Bold the things you've done. Post on your own blog...

Started my own blog
Slept under the stars
Played in a band
Visited Hawaii
Watched a meteor shower
Given more than I can afford to charity
Been to Disneyland/world
Climbed a mountain
Held a praying mantis
Sung a solo
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched lightning at sea
Taught myself an art from scratch
Adopted a child
Had food poisoning
Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
Grown my own vegetables
Seen the Mona Lisa in France
Slept on an overnight train
Had a pillow fight
Hitchhiked
Taken a sick day when not ill
Built a snow fort
Held a lamb
Gone skinny dipping
Run a marathon
Ridden in a gondola in Venice
Seen a total eclipse
Watched a sunrise or sunset
Hit a home run
Been on a cruise
Seen Niagara Falls in person
Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
Seen an Amish community
Taught myself a new language
Had enough money to be truly satisfied
Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
Gone rock climbing
Seen Michelangelo's David
Sung karaoke
Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
Visited Africa
Walked on a beach by moonlight
Been transported in an ambulance
Had my portrait painted
Gone deep sea fishing
Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Gone to a drive-in theater
Been in a movie
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Taken a martial arts class
Visited Russia
Served at a soup kitchen
Sold Girl Scout Cookies
Gone whale watching
Gotten flowers for no reason
Donated blood, platelets or plasma
Gone sky diving
Visited a Nazi concentration camp
Bounced a check
Flown in a helicopter
Saved a favorite childhood toy
Visited the Lincoln Memorial
Eaten caviar
Pieced a quilt
Stood in Times Square
Toured the Everglades
Been fired from a job
Seen the Changing of the Guard in London
Broken a bone
Been on a speeding motorcycle
Seen the Grand Canyon in person
Published a book
Visited the Vatican
Bought a brand new car
Walked in Jerusalem
Had my picture in the newspaper
Read the entire Bible
Visited the White House
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Had chickenpox
Saved someone's life
Sat on a jury
Met someone famous
Joined a book club
Lost a loved one
Had a baby
Seen the Alamo in person
Swam in the Great Salt Lake
Been involved in a law suit
Owned a cell phone
Been stung by a bee
Ridden an elephant

31 out of 100 activities.

Terrorist Fist Bump

I saw this photo on Francesco Explains It All and it made me smile.

Crop Walk

Members of the Unitarian Universalist Church of the Brazos Valley participated in CROP Walk today. See if you can find the minister in this photo.

Compare this photo with the list from Stuff White People Like and see how many you can check off.

Numbers 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 13, 27, 34, 35, 39, 42, 47, 49, 50, 53, 55, 76, 77, 83, 84, 88, 99, 108, and 109 apply to me. Not all of it is based on the photo, of course.

A very exhausted Loki after the walk. That is water on the pavement. The tongue is 3 inches wide at this point. He can fit the whole thing in his mouth occasionally.
A Saint Bernard named Suki. She and Loki played a little but mostly sprawled out on the concrete together.The church raised over $1,700. I managed to raise $70 of that. I did not pursue sponsors as vigorously as I did last year. Walter participated for the first time in many years. I need to get a t-shirt and a hat made that has Walter's picture on it for events like this. That way he can be in the group photo even though he is taking the picture.

More pictures from the Bryan/College Station CROP Walk can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22287142@N02/sets/72157608394510096/

The nightmare at the Bank of Santa Royale begins

I love psychotic Ruthie.
Thus begins the nightmare of a customer service representative at the Bank of Santa Royale.

Toby, you might want to light a match and lay off the spicy food. Maybe turn the AC down a bit as well.

--------------------------------------

I subscribe to a blog called Art Deadlines List. Description: Art contests & competitions, art jobs & internships, art scholarships & grants & fellowships, art festivals, call for entries/proposals/projects, and other opportunities in all disciplines, for art students, art teachers, and artists of all ages.

From time to time I tag an entry as "keep new" in Bloglines intending to follow up or submit something for a particular show. The deadline always passes and I never submit anything. My cartooning, life and other things end up filling up my time. I've not created other art in over a year.

I tagged this as keep new:

Side Show! Freak Show! Creep Show! We've all heard the terms. What does this mean to you? What comes to mind? What do YOU consider a 'Freak of Nature'? What constitutes this label? This is an open call to artists of all mediums to challenge themselves to respond to the title of this show. Who can participate: Anyone in the world, all artists welcome, all mediums. No entry fee. Contact: GM (Deadline is October 15)

The bold question really intrigues me. In response I want submit a portrait of Ann Coulter. So much ugliness in a somewhat attractive package. What a freak of nature.

Ms. Kitty's Kitty

When I saw this cartoon at Chron.com, it reminded me of a post about Ms. Kitty's cat, Maxie and dealing with his hunting instinct. Looks like a 6 or 7 point buck. At least she does not have to worry about field dressing Maxie's kills.

Speaking of adopted pets, two years ago today Loki went from being a foster dog with two unsuccessful adoptions under his collar to permanent member of the family. Right now, he is becoming one with the floor.

20 Days

I have revived the Mary Worth watch. 20 days since Mary Worth appeared in her own comic strip. It should take another 11 days for Toby to pay her credit card bill. Today: filling in the fields on the check; tomorrow: signing check; next day: finding envelope (because Toby's credit card issuer does not provide envelopes); day 4: finding stamp; day 5: putting statement and check into envelope; day 6: sealing envelope; day 7: affixing stamp; day 8: addressing envelope (Santa Royale does not have those fancy window envelopes); day 9: standing up; day 10: head out door; day 11: see Mary Worth on way to mailbox.

If this storyline continues to move at its current pace then Mary Worth should set a new record for absence from her own comic strip.

I would like Mary Worth, Style Mavin attempt to recreate Toby's purple chitinous plate blouse.

On my Leg Press I did 31 reps @ 155 pounds.

Phishing for a climax

Phishing! Blatant phishing with misspellings.

Ergonomics experts scream as they look at Toby sitting in front of her computer.

Some brilliant person has some inside information from the Mary Worth Compound. The day before Enormoushop.com was mentioned someone bought the domain and built a website. Yesterday links referring to phishing and spam were added.

No one has come forward to claim responsibility for this brilliant bit of humor. I have the skills to build a website but alas, it did not occur to me to buy the domain and build this site. I wish I had. I'm willing to waste time on Mary Worth but not money.

Neither Josh at Comics Curmudgeon or wanders at Mary Worth and Me have claimed credit. The genius Mary Worth mocker behind Enormoushop.com remains a mystery. Keep up the work and fix your broken images (Explorer 7 and Firefox 2.x).

Not a fan of seafood

Oh Ron, you do not contradict the wishes of the Mary Worth. Your opinion (or possible food allergies) do not matter to the Mary Worth. You will eat the seafood and like it. You will eat it even if it causes shock. It is what the Mary Worth will like tonight.

A commenter over at Mary Worth & Me asked if this bit of pettiness is meant to be ironic or is Karen Moy an evil person that thinks that this is the way old ladies are supposed to be. Unfortunately, I know way too many people as petty as Mary Worth. Karen Moy may know them, too.

I need to add Mary Worth & Me to my links.

Fun site

Pop culture and music explained in graph form
http://graphjam.com/

I love graphs.

The Idea of Things

I enjoy the blog, Stuff White People Like. I contemplated writing blog entries on the theme of Stuff White People Don't Like. I did not get much further than white people and being accused of racism. I realized that the whole thing was a shameless ploy to exploit the popularity of a better written blog to boost my own readership. I also risked instead of tens of people being exposed to my drivel, hundreds, possibly thousands people would read my blog and post comments about how my blog sucks.

Yes, I am aware of my weaknesses when it comes to writing. That knowledge leads to a bit of a conundrum for me. According to this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2000/01/18/MN73840.DTL most incompetent people do not know that they are incompetent. Since, I know, does that make me competent?

Back to liked stuff. I decided to be a bit more self-centered and focus on Stuff Linda Likes. I discovered I like the idea of things more than things themselves.

I like the idea of the following things:

1. Gardening. Mainly the growing food type of gardening. I have taken a small step toward implementing the idea, I bought a pepper and zucchini squash plant. They are sitting on the kitchen windowsill in their original pots. I bought them last Sunday and have watered them twice. Maybe this weekend I will plant them.
2. Composting. I'm afraid the dog will eat most of the materials.
3. Cooking. I have hundreds of recipes in my e-mail archives. I've cooked from a recipe 3 times in 2007. I'm responsible for Bertolli's (or the parent company's) rise in sales this year. I'm interested in cooking for health's sake and pre-packaged food has a lot of sodium.
4. Writing and directing videos. One of the ideas is to actually cook the recipes from my 1971 Betty Crocker recipe library and film the results and reactions.
5. Performing in front of a live audience.
6. Visiting India.
7. Free running.
8. Participating in Roller Derby. I have an aversion to pain.
9. Do it yourself home improvement projects. I bought books. Walter finished the current porch expansion and wants to continue in smaller increments. Maybe this success will propel us into interior projects.

This list, except for number 8, could serve as a set of goals to work toward in 2008 and beyond.

What I had for lunch

Wednesday's Lunch: Kashi Lime Cilantro Shrimp

Picture on the box:
Actual meal:
It looked a lot scarier before I stirred things.

Thursday's Lunch: Kashi Lemon Rosemary Chicken

Picture on the box:

This is one of the original boxes. Kashi has reduced its package size by 11% as noted on the Lime Cilantro Shrimp. The smaller box also fits in my lunch cooler easier.

A close up of the food as pictured on the package:
The meal as it appeared after microwaving:
I have to commend Kashi for at least having the ingredients that appear on the package in the meal. Of all the microwave meals that I've consumed Kashi has come the closest to matching package to reality.

Check out Ads vs. Reality for real scary examples of the differences between photos and reality.

Exclamation Point!

Wow, Joe Giella can draw something that looks vaguely edible. Still no attempt to create a sense of period. Poor Toby tries her best to stay awake.

I can barely stay awake while blogging about this. That may have more to do with the sleep aid still in my system than the non-content in Mary Worth.

The funnier Mary Worth and Me has consolidated all the dialogue of this story so far into a single monologue. The final product would make a funny performance. So many exclamation points!

I need to find out when the church will have its next coffee house. If I do this right, I won't ever be asked again to read something for coffee house.

Pepperoni is a nice topping, it doesn't fly south for the winter

When I feel bad about my drawing skills, I read the Quigmans and feel much better.

Cartoonists on acid:

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
God did not @#$%! put the light in the fridge, a human being at the fridge factory put the light in the fridge! That human being does not give a rat's ass about your snacking habits, Billy! Another thing, the common usage is midnight SNACK not treat.

Better to abuse the Family Circus children than real children.

The flame thrower is more fun but not quite as environmentally friendly.

Guy Williams plays the role of Drew Cory in panel one. If a simple break-up leaves Dr. Drew reeling, I wonder what the sight of real suffering would do to him? Throw him into some kind of catatonic state? How does he practice medicine? Drew, you do need to get away from Santa Royale. Take your dad with you. Take me with you. Plenty of poverty in the Caribbean.

A funny blog that I added to my feeds: Stuff White People Like A funny look at "white culture" or at least the somewhat progressive, privileged, hipster aspects of whiteness.

Holy Bat! Batman!

Today's single panel theme - percussive therapy with blunt wooden objects:

This really blurs the canine/ human line. For some humans balding is usually just part of the aging process (exceptions for chemo and poisoning) but for a dog balding is the sign of a fairly serious skin condition. The Pluggers disturbs me when it blurs the anthromorphization lines.

Yes, I can. I shall speak of the pompatus of love. Bizarro drew a panel using the same theme a month or so back. This artist decided to play a variation. Now, a different single panel cartoonist needs to work "pompatus of love" into their version of a gag based on Steve Miller's "The Joker"

Check out this blog post on Judge a Book by Its Cover about the wonders of the Internet and my "You've Been Warned" cartooning project. The individual panels will appear daily on my main cartoon site (A Perfect World) starting next Tuesday but if you're the impatient sort you can find them on my Flickr photostream in the You've Been Warned set

You've Been Warned!

I found a cartooning project courtesy of the always brilliant blog: Judge a Book by Its Cover and this hilarious post: http://judgeabook.blogspot.com/2008/01/youve-been-warned.html

Maughta and one her co-workers at the library were reading passages from James Patterson's current best seller, "You've Been Warned ("Fear is just the beginning")" and found it quite amusing. This book is number one on the New York Times best seller list for hard cover fiction.

Maughta typed up a list of all the last sentences of every chapter of this book. I read them and several of them caused single panel cartoons to instantly come to mind. This would be a fun challenge: draw a single panel cartoon for all 110 last lines of each chapter of You've Been Warned. This could keep me going for several months. I've been in a bit of a writing slump anyway and this might be just the thing to get me out. Some of the lines will take some creativity in coming up with a humorous visual. I'm excited about cartooning again! Thanks Maughta and James Patterson!