Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Monday, October 31, 2005

I messed up my knee Friday evening. I did not realize the extent of the injury until I attempted to run on Saturday. I ran 3 miles on it at a 12 minute mile. Then I ran in the Woodstock 5K and finished in 36:39.

Masey did okay running the 5K with me. She dragged me some of the time and I dragged her some of the time. That dog does not run out of energy.

My knee still hurts so I will be bike riding this week.

I'll post last week's workout summary later tonight.

Last night I took a sleeping pill and chased it with Chamamoille tea and Rolling Rock Light. I slept well.

I got some great candy to give out to the kids tonight.

Friday, October 28, 2005

I over-cuddled this morning. The country music station that I have set as my alarm starts their broadcast day with a different rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner". It was a female vocalist this morning. I'm usually awakened at the "dawn's early light" and hit the snooze before anyone can get to the "rocket's red glare".

I could not work the snooze button the second time around so I hit off (anything to stop the damn country music) and cuddled with Walter until after 7:00 am.

During that time I had a strange dream. In this dream I had a cold therefore could not go to work but was healthy enough to visit Walter's aunt, cousin and mother. We made it to someone's house and after my eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room I saw that my father and step-mother and my brother and his wife were there. We went to the kitchen and dining room - talked about mundane things and tried various remedies for my cold.

Then robots came and started destroying every man-made object in the house, when they finished the house they moved on to the rest of town. The run off from the destruction caused by the robots flowed toward the town library which had a bell tower. This caused the bell tower to launch like a rocket. The launch led to the destruction of the town. The bell tower rocket landed on top a NASA launch pad merging with the rocket that NASA had on the pad.

The merged rocket took off and landed over the horizon. When it landed it set off a chain reaction of explosions. The series of explosions worked their way toward the launch pad and burned everything - people, buildings, trees. All that was left was skeletons of buildings.

It was not too disturbing because it looked like a cartoon.

The robots dismantled themselves.

I woke up and wondered what is the connection between visiting relatives and robot induced apocalypse?

I hope my subconscious was successful at working out whatever it needed to work out. I don't need any of this intruding on to my conscious life.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I knew it!
You are Tater Tots. Go get your own!!

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

80's music is popular. Retro rides, radio stations dedicated to the music of the 80's, weekend 80's music features but these things do not cover the entire decade. I've noticed that only 6 songs from the 80's get played in rotation.

Jesse's Girl by Rick Springfield
White Wedding by Billy Idol
Jenny by Tommy TuTone
Rebel Yell by Billy Idol
Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
Pyromania by Def Lepard

10 years and this is all that gets played.

I hate radio.

Monday, October 24, 2005

I ran 3.3 miles with Masey. She did well and I think I will let her run with me during the 5K.

The court could not seat a jury because too many potential jurors were struck for cause. We were dismissed by 10:30 am.

Today is the first day of early voting on constitutional amendments in Texas and since I was at the courthouse already, I went to the polling place and cast my ballot.

A particularly stupid amendment is a so-called "anti-gay marriage" amendment. I voted against it because putting discrimination in the state constitution is not right. The amendment is so sloppily worded that it could be interpreted to ban all marriages in the state of Texas.

Language of the amendment:
"The constitutional amendment providing that marriage in this state consists only of the union of one man and one woman and prohibiting this state or a political subdivision of this state from creating or recognizing any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Brief ExplanationHJR 6 would provide that marriage in Texas is solely the union of a man and woman, and that the state and its political subdivisions could not create or recognize any legal status identical to or similar to marriage, including such legal status relationships created outside of Texas.

Defines marriage then prohibits the state from creating or recognizing it. Or at least it could be interpreted that way.

Read the rest of the amendments here:

The Texas state constitution is majorly FUBARed. Check out this constitutional amendment that I got to vote for or against:

"The constitutional amendment providing for the clearing of land titles by relinquishing and releasing any state claim to sovereign ownership or title to interest in certain land in Upshur County and in Smith County."

I live in Brazos County which is nowhere near Upshur or Smith County yet I have a voice in the clearing of land titles in certain land. I don't give a rat's ass was not an option on the ballot. I voted for it for no good reason other than the thrill of possessing the power to affect the fate of land in two Texas counties. Bwah-ha-ha!

I enjoyed the Ramadan dinner.

After dinner I realized why I don't like interacting with the progressive community in Brazos County. I agree with most of the causes but my interactions with the people have been less than positive. I cannot make a joke without a rant or recitation in response. I just want a laugh - that is all.

Maybe someone should tell them that their causes and intentions are good but many individuals are unpleasant to interact with. It could help advance their agenda if they would lighten up a bit. Work to improve things but be able to see the humor in it.

It could be my lot in life to only meet and interact with the unpleasant elements in the progressive community. Perhaps the pleasant elements don't get invited to the same events that I get invited to.

There is the possibility that my jokes are not funny. Most of these people listen to Garrison Kiellor for laughs.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

I have to report for jury duty tomorrow.

I am also attending a Ramadan dinner tomorrow evening. An observance like Ramadan would do Americans a lot of good. Even a single day of fasting and reflection could work wonders for our national psyche. We would probably screw it up and commercialize it if such an observance became a national holiday.

This week's book:
Bat Boy Lives!: The Weekly World News Guide to Politics, Culture, Celebrities, Alien   Abductions, and the Mutant Freaks that Shape Our World
Bat Boy Lives!: The Weekly

World News Guide to Politics, Culture, Celebrities, Alien Abductions, and the Mutant Freaks

that Shape Our World

I like the Weekly World News.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

This week I ran 26.22 miles, burned 3,144.9 calories and weigh 163.3 pounds.

Monday ran 4 miles in 42:11
Wednesday ran 5.3 miles in 55:00
Thursday ran 4 miles in 41:12
Saturday ran 12 miles in 2:29:00

Next Saturday I run in the Woodstock Howl-o-ween 5K. 3.1 miles for the metric challenged. The distance marathon training run for next Saturday is 6 miles. I'll just do the 5K twice.

Masey chewed up her leash so I bought a chain leash for her.

I'm not sure if I'm going to let her run with me. She has very little experience on a leash but this would help her expend some energy. On the other hand I want to run my best and she might be a bit of a distraction.

You can check out Masey at and you can see details about the 5K and an upcoming seminar.

Friday, October 21, 2005

I understand Bobo Bobobobo. The weirdness is not drug induced - it is the product of serious mental illness. This cartoon is an art therapy project for a Japanese mental patient. It all makes sense in that light.

I hope this patient get better.

I'm enjoying the insanity he/she seems to be suffering.

I have a new foster dog. Her name is Masey. She is a Pit Bull mix with a white coat, black nose, floppy ears, no tail and one brown eye and one blue eye. She is one year old. Still very much a puppy.

So far, she is a very different experience from Lola. Already had an accident. It was not her fault, I did not realize that whining meant "I need to go outside".

Masey can do an extended sit and will play fetch for a long time.

If I still have her, I'll take her to the 5K race. She might enjoy it.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

It's official: I'm a deviant. This is quite an achievement in the age of the internet.

In the previous post I mentioned that I like looking at old men wearing Speedos - not necessarily for the aesthetics but for the attitude that these old men project. I prefer thinner old men who actually swim rather than fat old men just hanging around at the beach. I find the scars, wrinkles and other marks of living more interesting to look at than perfection.

Anyway, back to deviance. With over 6 billion people on this planet and 2 billion of them with internet access I assumed that I am not the only one that likes looking at old men wearing Speedos. Every other perversion has a website, news group or something.

I Googled old men wearing Speedos. I Googled with safe mode off. Nothing positive about old men in Speedos. Images yielded two blurry images, web yielded websites complaining about old men in Speedos, groups yielded more of the same.

Somebody tell me I'm not alone.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Some thoughts on cartoons:
Tom Goes to the Mayor sucks. It will not grow on me.
BoBo Bobobobo is an acid trip without the annoying side effects. I can feel synapses fusing together.
I'm looking forward to The Boondocks.
SeaLab 2021 - hilarious.
Squidbillies - the bits I've seen were quite amusing.
The Venture Brothers - I want more!
I'm glad to see Mission Hill and The Oblongs on USA. So many good cartoons on Adult Swim that another network was necessary to hold them all.
I want to sleep with Harvey Birdman, his wings would be nice and warm. Gary Cole is the coolest actor of all time.

I miss the old men in Speedos.

I like looking at old men in Speedos. There is no more vanity - they just want to swim - aesthetic sensibilities of others be damned. It is not the look that I find interesting, it is the attitude.

I'm told that the old men in Speedos are quite scary and uninhibited in the locker room. Fortunately, I'm a woman and am spared that horror.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Salvador is sitting on my shoulder looking at me sideways wondering why I'm typing instead of scratching his head. I don't really know what goes on inside his little bird brain. He does know I'll do anything to get him to shut up.

Spam Zen koans:
Love is Waiting
Get your supply to the demand.
Walk away from drugs and get your life back.
as flowing water.
Want something extra in bed?
Feel like you don't get out enough?
Dont loose your chance fresh

Salvador is biting my ear.

Monday, October 17, 2005

I took Lola to her new home.

Took the day off. My mind and body needed sleep. I slept until 11:00 am.

I hope I can get a decent night's sleep tonight.

This week's book:
Bone: Crown of Horns, Vol. 9
Bone: Crown of Horns, Vol. 9

Saturday, October 15, 2005

This week I ran 23.12 miles, burned 2,784.6 calories and weigh 163.8 pounds.

Monday ran 5K in 33:41
Wednesday ran 5 miles in 53:20
Friday ran 5K in 32:31
Saturday ran 11 miles in 2:16:00

Next week I'm going to try some new routines on my non-running days.

I paid for my entry for the Woodstock Howl-A-Ween 5K which will take place on October 29th.

Lola skipped adoption because she has an application for a great home and it looks like she will be in her forever home by next weekend.

Lola also participated in some painting. When I went to training she was covered in red and green paint. I took some pictures with my phone. I need to get a cable so that I can download the pictures that I have taken.

Goofy spam names:
Pansy Hooker
Queen Skinner
Accept U. Venuses
Mercy Schlapp
Dorthea H. Muscled

Spam Zen koans:
Be a fab master. Enjoy these exquisite watches.
Every man must have sex! MUST!!!
you can get your dream job
you can get money tomorrow
Meet someone tonight and someone else tomorrow
Companies that are hiring employees like you. (Nobody wants an employee like me.)
Linda, on a personal level
operant Vigilant Parcel, Wide-Reaching Posting. parks
Linda We can show you how
There she blows!
Shoot five times as much
Today can make a difference
Polls don't IMPEACH presidents; People do!
Laurentiu Shuffler Great position
NataIi and her daddy batavia
boat Extended medicinal selections satiate your needs. damsel
Dirt Hunter hunts down dirt where it hides Linda
It doesn't hurt to check Bill
Kindly Assist

Friday, October 14, 2005

I draw for therapeutic reasons.

Instead of a beating and a cell phone flushing a cartoon will be drawn. Yes, Mr. Leave My Cell Phone with an Annoying Country Song as a Ring Tone Unattended in the College Station Gold's Gym on Thursday, October 13th at Approximately 5:35 pm, a cartoon inspired by your inconsideration will appear on my site within the next four weeks. The magnitude of the annoyance you caused has inspired not a single panel cartoon but a multi-panel cartoon. You should be honored and relieved that I choose cartooning rather than beating to relieve the stress caused by morons like yourself.

'Til the Cows Come Home

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I want this poster!

In this photo of a poster provided by Unicef on Tuesday Oct. 11, 2005, the cartoon Smurfs and their village are seen being bombed by airplanes. The recent advertising campaign by Unicef, both in print and on television, is intended to teach schoolchildren about the horrors of war. The title in French at left bottom reads 'Don't let war deystroy the world of children'. (AP Photo/Unicef/IMPS/Peyo)

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Went to an interesting seminar. Found out about a group that I'm interested in getting involved in. It could actually enhance my career.

Spam Zen koans:
Stop being single today.
Steady Camera, Steady Pixels
Want people to worship the ground you walk on?
arid 100% best results! impressive
chip and chic

Monday, October 10, 2005

Wallace and Gromit was number one at the box office this weekend. Crackin' Toast, Gromit!

Spam Zen koans:
Get organized.
altruist Enriched medicinal inventories fulfill your requests. injurious
hypochlorous Click for secure link. must

Sunday, October 09, 2005

This week's book:
Blizzards of Tweed
Blizzards of Tweed

It was a glorious day. The weather was too beautiful to spend the day inside a church. We went to the Cameron Park Zoo in Waco. Walter took some great photos.

Pictures are posted at Choose Cameron Park Zoo album. There are pictures of me with my new hair color.

We ate dinner at a restaurant on the Brazos River.

A great day.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

This week I ran 24.69 miles, burned 2,786.6 calories and weigh 162.5 pounds.

Monday ran 5K in 34:18
Tuesday did 277 Hindu squats, 14 Hindu push-ups and held a back bridge for 60 seconds
Wednesday ran 5 miles in 54:16
Thursday ran 5K in 33:06
Friday did 139 Hindu squats, 13 Hindu push-ups and held a back bridge for 65 seconds. Rode a bike for 2.38 miles.
Saturday ran 10 miles in 2:05:00

Spam Zen koans:
Get the energy you've been waiting for (I don't have the energy to wait)
Be a trend leader. Shine with these exquisite watches.
shuck Truly the best! Lovely deals on quick cures. zucchini
razor Licensed Online Specialist. providential
seeing more hair in the shower?
I think you should
Please let me introduce myself to you as,
Is it time to replace your windows?
Praise God, wear a Heavenly T-shirt (That is what Jesus would do)
i hope in your assistance
hamilton Approved E Specialist. loathe
Are you Preoccupied?
Dare to meet someone new!
bracket Gain zero charge benefits & reasonably-priced antibiotics. lawbreaker
oxen Purchase effective capsulees here. orwellian
Assorted ranging of caliber replica.
We've come a long way since the barbed wire fence.

Friday, October 07, 2005

I'm taking the afternoon off to see Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Wererabbit at the movie theater. Walter and I will eat lunch and then go to the movie.

Received this from a friend:


  1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. (I do not have any houseplants)
  2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. (I'm still flexible enough)
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. (Unless I'm having a bout of insomnia)
  5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. (My vacation in measured in hours and I have more than 14 days worth because I'm such a dedicated employee)
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
  10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@ kids next door won't turn down the stereo. (The %&@! kids next door are actually the same age and the sound system in their vehicle also serves as the sound system for their house)
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. (I have to mentally brace myself when I receive an e-mail from my mother.)
  12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM! (I got a @#$%! job!)
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM now severely upsets, rather than settles, your stomach.
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. (Does Fruit Loops and chocolate soy milk count as food?)
  22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. (I don't go to bars)
  25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

I'm wearing a Patrick watch that came from a cereal box. I'm so mature :P

Thursday, October 06, 2005

All morning I've been experiencing physical signs of nervousness. My heart is beating faster than usual and I have to take a few minutes to take some deep breaths. There is no reason for this.

I did not sleep too well last night. Hot - remove blanket. Cold - add blanket. Hot - remove blanket and sheet. Cold - add sheet. Still cold - add blanket. Legs sweating and itching - remove blanket and sheet and scratch. Try to calm down. Snoring sounds. Poke Walter. Shoulders and arms cold - add sheet. Legs hot - remove sheet, wrap blanket around shoulders. Think calming thoughts. Calming thoughts interupted by snoring. Poke Walter again. Cold - add sheet. Damn alarm goes off. Hit snooze - cuddle next to Walter. Alarm goes off again - shut it off and sleep for another 20 minutes. Wake up - feed Lola - fix breakfast - watch Headline News - tell Walter that tropical storm Tammy's center of swirl is in Albany, Georgia.

Tammy is such a classic white trash name - a perfect name for a tropical storm hitting Georgia. Tammy is a great name for a storm that has a chance to hit the southern United States. Tammy will get reused since this year's Tammy is such a wimpy storm. Every hack comedian is salivating at the prospect of a storm named Tammy devastating the Gulf Coast. Despite living in the potential zone of destruction I can appreciate the humor. If Tammy is retired she should be replaced with Tanya.

Got dressed. Decided that I don't like my gray slacks - wear black slacks instead. Choose to wear the Patrick and SpongeBob watch.

Walter informed me that my body was radiating heat last night.

I still feel tired. My heart is not beating as fast but I still need to take breaks to breathe deeply.

Not every Tammy is a redneck. I know this. So do the non-redneck Tammys of the world. I enjoy some the music of Tammy Wynette and I think Tammy Faye Messner (formerly Baker) is one of the few public examples of a good Christian (seriously - I should elaborate some time).

Okay, maybe those are not the best examples of great Tammys of the world but I'm sure there is a Tammy out there researching a cure for a disease perhaps even synthesizing a vaccine for bird flu. God bless you, non-redneck, research scientist Tammy! I love you!

I need to get some sleep.

Monday, October 03, 2005

I like traveling back in time and correcting my mistakes.

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
Linda, can you flip a switch
no vuelva a quedarse sin plata
Movie about discovery crashing made by our software

Sunday, October 02, 2005

It arrived! Star Trek Titan: The Red King has arrived and I have my copy. WooHoo! A third Star Trek Titan novel is scheduled for release in January 2006.

This week's book:
Penguin Brothers
Penguin Brothers

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
Fix your situation Ned
shuck Definitely breath taking! Coolest deals on our medicals. zucchini
Grieves R. Hydroponics

Saturday, October 01, 2005

This week I ran 20.28 miles, burned 2,452.5 calories and weigh 164.3 pounds. I need to monitor what and how much I eat more closely. Perhaps reserve the sweets as a Sunday treat.

This year, so far, I've ran 601.23 miles and burned 75,573.8 calories.

Monday ran 5K in 34:57
Tuesday did 239 Hindu squats, 12 Hindu push-ups and held a Back bridge for 43 seconds
Wednesday ran 4 miles in 44:14
Thursday ran 5K in 33:41
Friday did 254 Hindu squats, 14 Hindu push-ups and held a Back bridge for 50 seconds
Saturday ran 9 miles in 1:49:00

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
Indeed quick results!
Endeavour to read carefully
Green towers te regala Chevrolet nuevecito!!!
Reputable watches is low priced
Hot Cars Cool Prices Linda Causey slay
you gonna to paradise
if you are sick of your job, be a cop, it's fun
barstow Less costing drugg stoore. crucible
new car for even bad ccrreddiit
Don't expose your intimate life!
A satellite phone will keep you talking.
Why let people know about your intimate life? (Because it is great and it pisses off lonely people or people in loveless relationships)
Want Proof?
No trees were harmed in the making of this floor.
Did You Watch Desperate Housewives or Lost? (neither)
Your Dreams Are Trying to Tell You Something
counterpoise Pharrtmaceutical
Be a style master. Shine with these superb watches.
Only decicive people need to open!!! (Those of you who can spell decisive - go away!!!)
you wont find anything better Suzanne
Can you handle this project?
Ready to take a vacation? (Yes)
I crave your indulgence (Sir, I don't know you)
River have immediate release
There she blows!
Has anyone stolen your dreams (Jeez, I hope not)
loathsome Pharrnmaceutical
It doesn't hurt to check Summer (I've checked Summer - it's hot, damn hot and has overstayed past Autumn)
Isolde have immediate release
We post universally.
Cecilia have immediate release
Linda, thank you for your....
Mommy give Iessons seven inferno
It doesn't hurt to check Darren (I prefer Dick Sargent over Dick York)
Loose yet WIN with Hoodia!
Want the sex life to be like it used to? (No - I used to not have one)
Content lallygag
Reply with honesty
where is most of your casgh? (In my sock drawer)

Why does wet dog food stink up the whole house? Dogs have a better sense of smell than humans.