Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

This week I ran 15.15 miles, burned 1,892.7 calories and weigh 164.7 pounds.

So far this year I've ran 318.6 miles and burned 38,270.2 calories.

Monday walked 1.26 miles in 35 minutes
Wednesday ran 5K in 43:04
Friday ran 4.82 miles in 65 minutes
Saturday ran 5.75 miles in 65 minutes

Loki got adopted! He went to his new home today. His new parents are a nice young couple with a Golden Retriever. They went to a special adopt-a-thon at Central Park to just look around. They wanted to add a Bull Mastiff to the family when they moved into their new home but they saw Loki and fell in love and decided to adopt him. They will move into their new home in a month. Loki gets along great with the Golden Retriever.

I've washed the bowls, old t-shirts and put up the toys in preparation for the next dog. I think it is going to be Loki's sister.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Things that I don't know and grateful that I don't:

  1. No toilet nor bowel related comment here
  2. The Klingon language besides the word K'pla
  3. Any of the plot line for Desperate Housewives
  4. American Idol
  5. A great deal about current popular culture
  6. Extreme poverty - sleeping in the streets, subsisting on throw aways
  7. The pain of childbirth. My tubes are tied.
  8. What a broken bone feels like
  9. How to use profanity in languages other than English
  10. Intense loneliness
  11. Suicidal depression
  12. What it is like to face imminent death
  13. Soul destroying hatred - the kind of hatred that overtakes every facet of life. For example, Fred Phelps and his "church's" hatred for homosexuals. Google him and puke.
  14. A really good joke to end this list - I'm not grateful for that.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Things I know that I wish I didn't:

  1. The effects of eating 3 bowls of BooBerry Cereal on the bowels
  2. What it feels like to have a needle stuck into an open wound
  3. What an earthworm tastes like
  4. The keyboard short cut for undo
  5. What is like to become drunk to the point of passing out
  6. The name of the dog on the Brady Bunch
  7. What hives feels like
  8. How painful blistered skin is
  9. What scalding hot water poured over my head feels like
  10. How long it takes a toenail to grow once it has been completely removed
  11. The shame of saying something stupid and hurtful. The kind of shame that haunts you even after years have gone by.
  12. What is like to hurt my parents
  13. "Correct" usage of certain racial epithets
  14. The point of view of some ugly people and understanding how they could come to that conclusion
  15. What the inside of the county jail looks like
  16. Pea gravel passes through a dog unchanged
  17. Mr. Spock's blood type
  18. I really like the song "Come Sail Away" by Styx
  19. How inadequately prepared I was for adulthood
  20. Being called an asshole and realizing that the description was accurate at the time
  21. People not laughing at my jokes
  22. Just how few people whose company I genuinely enjoy
  23. Not being able to round out this list with something light and amusing

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Suggestions to promote harmony in the work place:

  1. If you need to flush twice, then flush twice. Flush as many times as necessary. Also, consider a change in diet.
  2. Learn the difference between reply to sender and reply to all.
  3. Daily e-mail reminders are not necessary.
  4. I assume everyone that works here is an adult. I have certain expectations of my fellow adults. If you have failed to master the basic skills of adulthood (for reasons other than disability), it is not my problem. It is your problem, fix it. There is a large pool of resources to help but first you must acknowledge that you are the one that is defective.
  5. There rarely is a bad time to shut the @#$% up. One with a shut @#$% does not know the taste of leather, rubber, suede or vinyl. Shut @#$%s rarely irritate co-workers.
  6. If I am on fire I'm likely the first person aware of it. Try informing of things I do not know. I am not a mind reader.
  7. Yes, I like to grow as a person. That's my problem not yours. Some of this growth benefits the workplace other growth benefits myself only. Try to find meaning in your own life.
  8. I like this job but you still have to pay me to be here. Please keep that in mind.
  9. I am different than you. This is one of the basic skills that should be mastered before adulthood - understanding that people are different.
  10. The nature of reality does not change simply because you say so or it is different in your mind. If it happened one way in front of witnesses, saying it happened differently will not change events. You are not powerful to repeat a lie several times until it becomes the truth. That is a skill of the government, media, religious leaders and people with a bit of charisma.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Here's Loki!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

This week I ran 14.97 miles, burned 1873.1 calories and weigh 162.3 pounds.

Monday: 1.19 miles in 35:00
Wednesday: 5K in 44:01
Friday: 4.76 miles in 65:00
Saturday: 5.69 miles in 65:00

Addie went back to her regular foster. I cleaned up the stuff she tore up and Walter filled in the holes that she dug. Loki is now laying on top of one of the filled holes. Packing down the dirt. Loki likes to lay on top of the table that we have in the backyard. That is where we feed the birds. Hopefully, he will leave the birds alone when he is not laying on the table.

I must get into major sleep debt during the week because all I want to do on the weekend is sleep. I have to push myself in order to do the things that I have scheduled. I don't schedule a whole lot on the weekends anyway. I do plenty of work during the week. I'm entitled to rest. I'm entitled to rest even if I didn't do much during the week.

Time to make the donuts.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Loki has a playmate until Saturday. Her name is Addie and she is a brindle German Shepard mix. They managed to turn on the outside faucet and created quite a mudhole in the yard. Addie being the longer haired dog that is more difficult to clean will wallow in the mud. At least it will keep both dogs out of trouble.

If Loki is the one that opened the gate and turned on the faucet he should be adopted by one of those organizations that train dogs to assist the handicapped. A Bull Mastiff mix assistant dog - that would be interesting.

Loki is not ready to appear at adoptions. He still has to receive some shots and a microchip.

Addie is available and you can check her out at She has a really soft coat which will be quite dirty when I get home. She will need a bath Saturday morning.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Had a rough night last night. Loki got out of the yard. He opened the gate. We looked for him until 11:30 pm. I went to bed but dreamt of nothing but finding Loki.

He was found by a neighbor this morning. We have fixed the gate so he can't open it.

What kind of person names a dog after the Norse god of mischief?

Other than the escape Loki is well behaved. He just lays around the house and sticks his head in the toilet. Fortunately, we have an oval toilet; otherwise, his head would get stuck. He likes to play and his previous foster said he enjoyed laying in a plastic kiddie pool.

I'll have to get a kiddie pool. Hopefully, that will keep Loki occupied so that he will stay out of trouble.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I have a new foster dog. His name is Loki, he is a Bull Mastiff mix. He has the most interesting brindle markings - sort of like a Tasmanian Tiger. I will post pictures soon.


I need to go see a doctor. Apparently, I've been blacking out. I notice it when someone states an opinion but I never remember asking for the opinion. Nobody I know is rude enough to share an opinion without some sort of signal that I was interested so therefore I must be blacking out when I give that signal.


I've heard stories of Pit Bulls, Rotwiellers and other dog breeds attacking 3-year-olds out of the blue. The dogs in these stories are well-trained, well-behaved, sweet, affectionate animals. But one day for no reason the dog attacks a 3-year-old. The 3-year-olds are never killed but the dog is put to sleep and everyone is left scratching their heads wondering what made the dog behave like that.

My theory - these dogs can see into the future. Humans see an innocent 3-year-old but the dogs see a future brutal dictator or serial killer. Since dogs do not possess language skills that humans can comprehend they cannot simply yell, "Hey, that's the anti-Christ!" or the next Hitler, Pol Pot, or Jeffrey Dahmer.

Spay and neuter your pets and children and keep them contained at all times.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

This week I ran 14.36 miles, burned 1,795.6 calories and weigh 164.8 pounds.

Monday walked 1.14 miles in 35 minutes.
Wednesday ran 5K in 45:05.
Friday walked/ran 4.50 miles in 65 minutes
Saturday ran 5.34 miles in 65 minutes.

Brodhi was not supposed to be at adoption because he has not received all his shots yet, so I had to take him back home but he was quite popular the brief time that he was at Petco. He should get his shots next week. I'm not sure if he is neutered or not. If not, then that will be taken care of as well.

He is such a big, goofy sweetie pie.

In a perfect world, people under the age of 18 would not be allowed to express their opinions outside the confines of home and school. In those places they can practice expressing opinions in a safe place and be gently guided to do some research and learn to reason.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Walter was going through some containers and he found this item. It is an "owner's manual" for one of the Chevron Toy Cars. We have the actual toy car along with the other little cars and Cary Carrier.

The bottom car is Zachary Zoomer. The innocent interpretation of this illustration is that Skyler Scamper, the orange car, is driving over Zachary in an automotive game of leap frog. Being of a somewhat twisted mindset that was not my first interpretation. I doubt that it would be any adult's first interpretation.

The toy has the same expression.

I'm temp fostering two dogs this weekend. Bailey, a female terrier mix and Brodhi, a huge Coonhound mix. Brodhi is 6 months old and weighs 50 pounds. After they are with their regular fosters I will start fostering again. I'm liking Brodhi so far. I'll see how it goes this weekend, maybe Brodhi can become my regular foster. Bailey is really smart. She knows several commands. Brodhi knows none but he loves to be petted and does great in his kennel. Brodhi is afraid of stairs and he refused to jump into my car last night. 50 pounds of noncooperative dog weighs much more. Once I got him in the car he was fine. He sat quietly in the back seat. Brodhi loves to give kisses.

I'm working a half day today. It's a "reading day" at the university. Since this is a state university the day cannot be associated with a specific religious holiday. I don't care, I'm grateful for the half day.

If you live within an hour's drive of Bryan/ College Station you can check out Brodhi, Bailey and other cats and dogs at Petco in College Station on Saturday from 11:00 - 5:00.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The sky is overcast. Overcast days really bring me down. I think that is a song lyric. To compound the blues, the University is hosting some kind of barbeque in the plaza which the building I work in borders. Somebody decided that this event needed live entertainment. It is a whiny kid with an acoustic guitar. An amplified whiny kid and acoustic guitar. Please, take that shit back to Austin.

That was harsh. I might not mind it so much if it wasn't being forced upon me. No, it still sucks.

I want to go outside - kick his ass - then slap his mother for not getting an abortion when she had the opportunity.

I deserve hazard pay for having this crap forced into my ears.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I just posted my 1,267th cartoon. Most web cartoonists celebrate even milestones such as 100, 500, 1000, and so forth cartoons. 1,267 is a perfectly nice number worthy of celebration. Yipee.

I have also produced 4,946 bits of clip art. I think that would make me the single largest producer of crap decorating blogs, websites and message boards in the world. The ugly background on some kid's MySpace - I'm probably responsible. The poorly drawn object being used as an avatar - I did that. The red x appearing on several Live Journals - the result of someone not downloading the clip art and then falling victim to image retirement.

No, I don't think it is all crap. Like everyone else I have my good days and my bad days. I just felt like taking a count of the amount of images I have produced.

I've been doing this since 1999, in my spare time. I am stunned.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Last week I ran 12.39 miles and burned 1,723.1 calories. I weigh 160.8 pounds.

Wednesday, I ran 5K in 46:13.

The people who live behind me have bought turkeys. One tom and 3 hens. I hear them gobble in the morning. If it starts to stink, I'm calling the city. The birds are not a nuisance at this point and I don't plan on doing anything unless they become one. Right now, they are cool. The tom has already had a talk with the dogs next door to him.

Our backyard is very natural and there are a lot of wild birds using it. The city may not appreciate the "urban wildscape". The cardinals, blue jays, mockingbirds, sparrows, doves, finches and one fat squirrel appreciate it.

Dogs have made a paths so that one can navigate through our wild land.

I will be temp fostering another puppy this weekend. His name is Bailey and he is very smart. He should enjoy frolicking in the backyard. He might even go talk to the turkeys.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Goofy spam names:
Ham J. Grizzliest
Beak D. Savviest
Uncontrollable L. Toady
Sarcstically B. Roughhousing
Logician K. Pollinated

Spam Questions: (feel free to play along in the comments)
Where will you be when you need it? In Vegas, baby!
Linda what does your future look like? The Jetsons without the rings
$60,000 Hidden in your house? My house is cluttered but not that cluttered
Combing The Shadows of My Space - that has got to be the worst job on the internet. I've visited a few of these MySpace pages. It is not pretty.
Looking for a Prada bag? No
Are your bills piling up? No, they are in a box
Do you qualify for a Dish Network system? But I don't want that, I want to sing
Hey, Wanna Chat? Not right now
Is it big enough? Yes, yes it is
Do you have any questions? What is the meaning of life?
Saddled with large student loan payments? Nope, all paid off. I own my education free and clear.
Want to Get Paid Well for Your Own Hard Work Without Any Office Politics? Yes, but without the hard work
How much is your Car worth? $1,000 maybe
Want to Have More Time With Your Family? Absence makes the heart grow fonder
How much money do you need? All I need is love and $10,000,000

Everything I needed to know I learned from Spam subject lines
Drop those love handles
College just got cheaper
Find your fortune in Real Estate
Go to the bathroom more often
play with other people online
April 15th does NOT have to be a bad day
Take an online class
Escape to paradise with a Bahamas getaway
Protect Your Family From A Financial Crisis (and a crisis of capitalization)
Improve your working skills
Get lower credit card payments
Take The Free Credit Score Challenge
Trade-In your car for a new one
Let the Govt fund it
learn how the stars stay in shape
Finish Your Bachelor's Degree
summer is on its way
Make Money From Home Typing
Get Your Diploma Today
Extend Your Car Warranty Instantly
Find out how easy it is to qualify for a grant
Volume has significantly increase
Work in a company with a world name
Take a break and let us worry about your mortgage
Play Bingo for Fun Today
Earn a degree that fits your life

I read the comic strip, Mary Worth, because it is funny. Funny for the wrong reasons. Today the comedy is the coloring.

Are they drinking ketchup, blood or fruit punch from a wine type bottle?

This dinner party has been going for a week now.


I have achieved full "dorkness". I'm wearing sandals with socks. Nice whit and gray running socks with a padded bottom and high tech fiber that wicks away moisture and prevents chafing but still socks with sandals. "Uberdorkness" would be black dress socks. I have worn the sandals without socks around the house but I did not want to do this at work because it would lead to questions that I do not want to answer.

It is safer to be a dork than to reveal a minor neurosis to my co-workers. It's not the kind of thing that disrupts my life. It only affects the kind of footwear I wear in public but I would rather not deal with the scrutiny. Plus it is kind of gross.

I can overcome this like I did with nail biting and when that day comes my feet feel the wind and the sun upon them, in public. Better not forget the sunscreen.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Hooray! It looks like everything has been resolved with the web host. The site has been updated.

Something has gone wrong at Ipowerweb, my site host. That is why there has not been an update and an older version of my pages are appearing. It looks like the problem began Sunday after I updated. At least the site is up. As of this morning I could not gain access to update. Hopefully, the problem will be resolved by tonight.

It has been quite a morning. I woke up at 7:04 am. The alarm did not sound or I hit the shut off button instead of snooze. I don't remember doing this. I was surprised to wake up, energized and well-rested. I woke up when I was ready. Unfortunately, I have to be at work at 8:00 am. I made it in at 8:45 am. I did not hurry. Hurrying only make the situation worse. Better late than never.

My job will never suck as much as this guy's job:

Saturday, April 01, 2006

This week I ran 7.01 miles, burned 1,040 calories and weigh 162.2 pounds.

So far this year I have run 261.29 miles and burned 30,985.7 calories.

Wednesday I ran 5K in 47:24

1,040 - that was my SAT score. Did that back in 1986 without studying for the test. It is an easy number to remember. It is the same number as my tax form. I stayed up late the night before the test. The SAT in no way is a predictor of real success. It just indicated that I can take a test well. An useless skill in the real world. I guess it also indicated my ability to retain information. I don't remember the breakdown between the Verbal and the Mathematical sections.

Slightly above average SAT score, slightly above average life. By U.S. standards anyway.

Spent the morning at Petco volunteering to work adoptions and then spent the afternoon at ForwardFest, a local progressive festival.

I think I'm becoming attached to Bo.