I feel awful

I launched the new website. I did not go to bed until almost 2:00 am. I find some damn images are missing - I don't know what the problem is. Maybe Ipower just sucks.

I woke up this morning feeling okay. Walter and I snuggled. After snuggling then it hit me. Two words that should never be next to each other - explosive diarrhea. I made it to the bathroom - sort of.

The bit in the marriage vows about in sickness and in health, I think more people would consider marriage more seriously if details were included. Do you, Walter, vow to clean up after Linda's lower intestines explode and do you, Linda, vow to do the same for Walter?

Fluids, Imodium and food have not helped. I did reread Star Trek Titan: Sword of Damocles.

The crappy part of this (no pun intended) - I did not drink any alcohol on New Year's Eve. I normally get quite drunk at New Year's celebrations but not this year. This year is the worst I've ever felt on a New Year's Day and I have no hazy, happy, how did this traffic cone end up in my bed?, good lord, I'm getting too old for this, memories.

My head is pounding, my stomach aches, hourly gurgling noises send me sprinting to the bathroom and the Quilted Northern feels like sandpaper.

Too much information - I don't care. I write this so that you, dear reader, can laugh and prove that the best comedy is born out of other people's minor suffering.

The Mary Worth

Oh boy, Chihuahua lady you have no idea who you are blaming. You blame the Mary Worth. The Mary Worth can turn you into dust with a withering stare and a platitude. "This is all your fault, lady!" will be your last words. You are so dead. You and your little dog, too.

On a semi-serious note, someone needs to bitch slap Chihuahua lady and stuff her retractable leash up her most convenient orifice. You can't control or protect a dog properly with a retractable leash. What kind of weakling gets tugged off balance by a f*ck!ng Chihuahua on a retractable leash!?

Chihuahua lady's behavior is causing me to feel sympathy toward Mary Worth and for that Chihuahua lady deserves to die.

Taking a second look maybe Chihuahua lady was saying "Aaugh!" because of some off panel humping. This leads me to dislike Chihuahua lady even more.

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My website was unavailable for updating last night. It finally came back online at 8:30 am.

Updates, finally

I used an alternate method for updating my website.
Vera, you call those jazz hands! My arthritic mother can do more enthusiastic jazz hands.

Mary's unseen thought balloon in panel one: And why did you choose to perform Tai Chi right now?

Vera does a Kung Fu bow in the second panel after she knocked Mary down. How else could Vera end up in the position she has in the second panel? Damn, you Giella for refusing to draw the exciting Kung Fu action.

Drew should consider writing Vera a check for a large amount of money. It worked for Von.

The final cartoon from the contest. No winners, I thought of this myself. The Pak'Ma'Ra' is a species from Babylon 5 that dined on carrion. If you laughed without the explanation then you are a geek. This cartoon is in the archives. For the past three days I continued to update the site even though I could not upload the changes. Optimistic or insane? I don't know.

Lesson learned: don't solicit gags from blog readers, especially when your blog as about 8 readers. The solicitation does free my mind for thinking of gags on my own.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Darn, the U.S. military's don't ask, don't tell. If gays could serve openly perhaps Sarge and Beetle can express their affection for each other in a healthy way and still keep their military career.

This is not a marriage - it is two crazy people sharing a house - an asylum for two. One is dangerously psychotic and the other just kind of loony.

They always are good stories but then people starting taking the stories seriously and then act on whatever lessons they think the stories are telling them. The whole thing becomes quite ugly.

Today, classes begin. Not so chaotic so far. At least I did not have an 8:00 am class in my classroom today. I had some time to do a few things.

I'm redesigning my website using CSS and clean and updated code. I'm moving away from FrontPage (I have FrontPage 2000. I will still use the auto-thumbnail feature unless someone can point me to something that can do that. Preferably something free. Check out any of my clip art pages to see how I use the thumbnail feature.) The site is rather large and some pages will be eliminated from the site altogether. Right now, I'm doing minimal updates on the cartoons and clip art and have put other projects on hold. I'm working on both sites at the simultaneously. I hope to have something somewhat complete enough to publish by the end of September. It will take longer to fully integrate the whole site. Talking over 1,500 cartoons and a lot of clip art here. New cartoons and clip art will go up on schedule. The Sears Catalog and Betty Crocker sections will be part of the new design.

Lack of update

I did not update my site last night because I got caught up in reading other things and was too tired by the time I finished.

aperfectworld.org is down

I am receiving a 403 Forbidden when I visit aperfectworld.org. I cannot FTP either. I'll give it another 24 hours before I call IPower. For those do not access the blog via the website, today's cartoon:
Maybe I need a vacation from cartoons for a while.

A return to normalcy?

Maybe this week will be normal. I'm behind on updates, scanning, laundry, dishes and other things. Hopefully, I can catch up.


My new monitor is in place. My eyes should melt out of my skull by Friday.

The first time ever a name is mentioned. Better Half takes a major turn toward the surreal.

I don't want to get into the physics of this dress or the female figure. Another thing I'd thought I would never experience before the age of 40 - being disturbed by a Herman panel.

The yellow and white star burst dress did not work, the hideous food did not work, looks like Mary Worth will have to resort to water boarding in order to force Vera to reveal the secrets of her past.

I will update my cartoon tonight. I will make the time.

To hell with it

Forget the update, I'm going to bed. I have a 10K race tomorrow.

Yesterday walked 4,914 steps/ 2.17 miles.

This week ran 23.73 miles, burned 2,907.3 calories and weigh 167.7 pounds.

Monday: 6.33 miles in 65:00
Wednesday: 3.37 miles in 35:00
Thursday: 6.00 miles in 65:00
Saturday: 8.03 miles in 1:33:00

Next week is the big race. The Chevron Houston Marathon. You can sign up for Athlete Alerts to receive e-mails or text messages on my progress. My last name is Causey, first name Linda. I'm entered in the Marathon.

No updates next Saturday and Sunday.

Walked 4,764 steps/ 1.80 miles.

I've started a new update schedule. New content will be added to the website 7 days a week.
Sunday: Cartoon
Monday: Cartoon
Tuesday: Cartoon
Wednesday: Cartoon
Thursday: Cartoon
Friday: New recipe from the 1971 Betty Crocker Recipe Library.
Saturday: New clip art

Of course, there is always the blog which will be updated at somewhat frequent and irregular intervals.

I walked 6,747 steps/ 2.56 miles yesterday.

Walter has the day off so I'm looking forward to spending some time with him. The house is looking better. I will spend some more time cleaning it today. Drew two cartoons yesterday for a total of six so far this week. I need to start scanning. I'm still working on some clip art. I hope to finish that tonight.

Next year I will be adding content to the website 7 days a week. The cartoons will still be 5 days a week but on Fridays I will be adding different humor content; currently the Betty Crocker Recipe Library; and Saturdays adding new clip art.

The dogs are outside enjoying the weather. Pickles will be going back to her foster mom today. Isaac is filling out. I think the large breed dog food is helping. Loki is as sweet as ever. When Pickles leaves I will give Isaac and Loki their other bones that I bought them for Christmas.

SuddenLink, my ISP, is down. Or at least my home is not getting any service. So no new cartoon. I'll update tonight if the problem is solved.

Tomorrow Radio MASH starts and the temperatures are predicted to go from 70 degrees to 29 degrees in less than 24 hours. A cold front is coming. The roads may ice because of rain. Texans do not do snow or ice well. Texans know this and stay off the road if possible. The transplanted midwesterners make fun of Texans for our inability to drive in icy conditions. The roads become littered with the vehicles of transplanted midwesterners who claim they can drive in icy conditions. It provides entertaining footage for the Texans at home watching TV. That and watching a midwesterner break a sweat after getting a bit of medium salsa on the tongue. OH MY GOD, WHAT'S IN THIS STUFF! A TOMATO?

Thank you transplanted midwesterners for the entertainment and providing a market for mild salsa.

Texans provide entertainment for people from India whenever we taste a bit of their spicy food. I know what it is like to fart fire.

I was a bit lazy last night. I did not update. Watched the Comedians of Comedy movie and then went to bed. I also ran after work.

Today, is a half day. I'll update when I get home. I will run some more.

Pickles will be visiting this weekend. 3 dogs.

Eat, sleep draw, run, web - that is my life.

My job does not suck so much.

The FTP problem resolved itself. I posted the update that was for Monday night.

I will continue the process of moving my site to a new server. Unfortunately, my host wants the last four digits of the credit card they have on file. I don't remember which card they have on file.

I'm at home babysitting the dogs and the house. The city is repairing the sewer line. Yesterday, they repaired it enough for us to shower and use the toilet. Today, the repair crew is in my backyard with a backhoe. They tore down part of the fence to get the backhoe in there.

Rather than just letting the dogs out, I have to walk them on leashes for them to do their business. Isaac and Loki walk well together on two different leashes.

The repair crew is doing a great job and I appreciate their response and efficiency. The city crew called the gas and phone companies so that the gas and phone lines can be marked. The gas company came out yesterday and the phone company came early this morning.

I'm not sure if the city puts the fence back up or not.

I tried to update my website last night but I cannot get my host to accept my new files. I'm not sure if the problem is with Ipower or FTP Commander.

I've sent a request to Ipower to have my account moved to one of their other servers with an up to date control panel. This will require uploading my entire website. This could take hours or days depending on how much this new thing allows me to upload at one time.

I like to use the control panel as a back up in case FTP fails. Maybe I can FTP everything to the new server. That would be nice and a bit faster since my website is rather large.

Our sewer backed up and Walter is trying to clear it up. Isaac is still jumping the fence. I hate to keep him in the kennel for 12 hours a day.

Life just keeps getting better.