Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

I walked 3,212 steps.

I had a strange experience this morning. Last night, I took some cough syrup and a sleep aid. This morning I was very groggy. Walter made breakfast and I ate. After he left for work I tried to read some e-mail and funnies but I was still groggy so I decided to go back to bed. It was 9:30. Sometime later I felt the bed shake as if someone was trying to climb in. I also heard the sound that a pair of Walter's warm up pants make when he is either putting them on or off. These pants are made of a sort of slick nylon material. He rarely wears them. I thought Walter had come back from work and was going back to bed. I forced my eyes open and did not see anyone else in the room. I turned over and went back to sleep. I did hear other noises but I was able to identify that as Salvador tapping on a box in the living room.

Walter has reported experiencing the same thing on several occasions after I have left for work and he has slept in. The bed shaking part not the noises.


Goofy spam names:
Abe D. Xiong (subject line: Behind the chair on)
Cherub R. Reviewer
Alexandria K. Peacock
Cross A. Geniuses

If there are any ghosts, poltergiests or spirits in the house I would be grateful if they would do something useful besides shake the bed. Washing a few dishes would be nice. Maybe vacuum the rug. Dusting the furniture and shelves would be great. Spirits would be good at that because they could get to those hard to reach places because of their noncorporeal form.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

I walked 6,709 steps.

Last night Walter unearthed an eraser from the couch. It was a Pink Pearl that I had been using for 5 years. I lost it a few months ago and began using another one.

Here is a picture:

The top one is a brand new eraser, the second one is the eraser that I've been using the past few months and the bottom one is the eraser that I had been using for 5 years. Dime included for scale. The indentation in the middle of the old eraser is from my thumbnail scraping the surface while I was erasing.

The bottom eraser is officially retired.

If you squint really hard and truly believe you can see an image of Jesus in the eraser. That is what the description on eBay will say.

Whoa! The other side of the eraser looks like something! I think my prayers have been answered.

I walked 2,584 steps yesterday. The pedometer is not accurate because it did not count the 2 miles that I ran. I cannot expect too much from an adult Happy Meal toy. When the battery dies on this one, I'll purchase a real pedometer.

My weight is going back down after a slight Christmas related surge.

Goofy spam names:
Trolled D. Vassaling
Emphasize J. Darwinism
Estranged I. Conurbation
Tulsa Q. Logging
Lechery J. Open
Worked U. Exuberantly
Derailment R. Epsom
Tombstone M. Inherited

Damn! I can't shake a stick at that!

Monday, December 27, 2004

I walked 3,561 steps. Played Dance Dance Revolution for a good 20 minutes. Walter scored a perfect score on one of the songs and unlocked another song.

I got a lot accomplished today. I drew two single panel cartoons; finished inking a multi-panel cartoon; drew 5 pieces of clip art; scanned, lettered and colored 3 cartoons; cleaned the kitchen; changed the sheets; worked out at the gym; read a chapter of the Tibetan Book of the Dead; washed, dried and folded the clothes; and updated my website. I also read some funnies, e-mail and newsgroup postings.

Today was a good day. The weather was beautiful. I missed having a dog to walk.

My positive thoughts and prayers go out to the people affected by the tsunami. I need to send a donation to the appropriate agency.

Goofy spam names:
Interrelation O. Boulder
Avians E. Spica
Accidentally Q. Yakut
Assortment O. Whelp
Pronunciations J. Brad
Bonaparte K. Ringmaster

Sunday, December 26, 2004

It snowed on Christmas Eve! I made a little snowman. I'll post a picture soon.

Walter is posting items on eBay. I just updated my website.

We had a great Christmas.

I will enjoy the one week vacation courtesy of Texas A&M. I switch to nocturnal mode during this time.

Salvador has been behaving strangely. He's showing interest in things that he has ignored to 6 months. He's exploring different nooks and crannys in the house. I think he is trying to find a nest location. He worked his way into one of our bathroom cabinets and got very angry whenever anyone approached. That may be where he decided to put his nest. It is summer where his species is native. Maybe his rythms are hardwired for the Southern Hemisphere.

Goofy spam names:
Ostensibly A. Deserting
Bantered G. Simulated
Toad L. Dieted
Alumna R. Lancing
Eire Q. Palavered
Torching U. Fate
Boons R. Blockade
Okra A. Viagra
Windsurfs F. Ravine
Titanic O. Servant

My brilliant invention idea (you read it here first - that means I get a percentage if someone actually builds it): An implant that tracks your vital signs and has wireless access to your computer. When the implant realizes that you are dead then it sends a signal to your computer to delete incriminating files.

Pretty cool, eh?

Friday, December 24, 2004

This week I ran 4.46 miles and burned 575 calories. I weigh 160.7 pounds. A little weight gain from all the chocolate. No big deal.

There is one more week in 2005. I'll have a final tally of miles ran and calories burned for the year. I like keeping trivial statistics and making charts. I guess that is why I like my pedometer. A perfect toy for the slightly obsessed.

Today's agenda: gift wrapping, preparing Sunday's Order of Service, checking the oil and going to Houston.

Goofy spam names:
abdul stump
Wheres M. Unattractive

Merry Christmas.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

I walked 3,086 steps.

The temperature is supposed to drop to 18 degrees Fahrenheit. Brr.

I better take extra clothes and blankets when visiting my family. They like to keep their houses very cold.

10 glorious days off from work. Yes, I'm getting paid. I'll use the time to get ahead on the cartoons, post things on eBay, get some extra exercise and putter around the house.

I'm also going to fill out the foster home application from Woodstock Animal Rescue. I think fostering will be a good thing to do until the right dog comes along. I have a nice big fenced yard and Woodstock has a shortage of suitable foster homes for larger dogs because most of their fosters are college students.

Goofy spam names:
Florine E. Mayes

The 24 hour broadcast of "A Christmas Story" begins tomorrow.
"Deck the hars with boughs of horry. Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra"

I just can't sing Deck the Halls without thinking about that scene.

I had a dose of irony yesterday, a Christian radio station playing Deck the Halls with its references to the pagan celebration of Solstice.

Listening to Classic Soul on Radio@Netscape.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

I walked 2,511 steps. One half day of work until holiday break! 10 glorious days.

We might get some snow on Christmas Eve. How exciting.

Goofy spam names:
Rejoiced E. Hereby
Dictators L. Salve

Listening to "Have Yourself A Looney Tunes Christmas"

My feet are cold.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I walked 3,828 steps. I did some weight lifting for the first time in about two weeks. I really felt it in my legs.

I've been producing a lot of tater tot gags lately. I love tater tots.

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
Do you require to perceive fine following morning?
Languorous H. Antedate

I love tater tots in a very healthy, natural and normal way.

Monday, December 20, 2004

I walked 2,516 steps. I scanned some cartoons.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Convex E. Mesh
Ebony N. Lester

Listening to Christmas In The Stars - the Star Wars Christmas album.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Check out my marathon pictures!

Run Forest Run!

Saturday, December 18, 2004

This week I weigh 157 pounds. I ran 26.2 miles and burned 2,770 calories. I did that in one day.
On Monday, it's back to the gym.

Walter and I completed our Christmas shopping. I got Dance Dance Revolution and the pad. It is a Christmas/ birthday present.

I had a great time at the party last night. I enjoyed several buttery nipples. I have very cool friends.

Goofy spam names:
Delivered R. Timber
Newsletter H. Cosignatory
Botany E. Reserve
Putties V. Manifestation

Looking forward to 10 days off.

Friday, December 17, 2004

I walked 2,617 steps.

I'm going to a party tonight.

Goofy spam names:
Fiftieth B. Fog

I have never dabbled in ocks.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

I walked 507 steps. I am feeling much better. I think I could actually make it to work tomorrow.

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
Olive J. Finch
Jaclyn L. Ramified
extrude terminology

I enjoy good health.

I walked 90 steps yesterday. I spent most of the day in bed or on the couch. I did not feel like updating last night so I did it this morning. I'm feeling much better but I am taking another day off. I have over 300 hours of sick leave, I might as well use it when I am sick.

I just put up my last ready to go single panel cartoon and I have one multi-panel cartoon ready to go up tonight. After that I have nothing. I need to get cracking on drawing some cartoons. I might do some dingbat and clip art based toons to get a quick back log. Unfortunately, I'm not too witty when I have a cold or under the influence of cold relieving drugs. Some would argue that I'm not too witty even when healthy. Those people are just idiots too stupid to grasp the subtlety of my brilliant wit.

I think I'll make it to work tomorrow.

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
Let her feel the warm sensation when applied
Flint Stone
forrest cattle
placid caddy
this is want most men need
Spitefulness O. Seducer
Are soprano condition do rain sought
adolescent ang ruttish misses are waiting you!
hurtle meridian
Garibaldi J. Vitreouses
Arline N. Schaefer
Recent route to missing mass!
jupiter smokehouse
was fill incontinent is appall pessimist

New products being hawked by spammers:
Dog translators, Rolex watches and penny stocks.

Several spammers have a stuttering problem and dyslexia.

My proposal for a anti-spamming law:
Allow the spammers to send their e-mails but they must report, everyday, to a non-spamming citizen to have their head smacked with a cricket bat. Eventually the smart spammers will realize that the daily pain is not worth the money, thus discontinue and the dumb ones will become too brain damaged to send spam. With this law people will think twice about getting into the spam business.

I want a license to smack people upside the head with impunity. I would use that power for good. I promise. That is my Christmas wish.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I got a cold! I run, my immune system is temporarily compromised and I get a damn cold. At least I'm not trying to run with it. I hate running with a cold. It just sucks.

I'm going to soak in the tub for a while.

I walked 1,188 steps.

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
septillion pig
Diaphanous K. Medici
Lanolin H. Lark
amuse seville
pickoff dowitcher
Scrimmage H. Federalist
Histrionics U. Beauty

Calgon, take me away.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
love her, treasure her and take good care of her transit
sunlight, and from behind
Kringle I. Crumby
Durability Q. Faintness

The unofficial results for the Dallas White Rock Marathon can be found here:

My chip time was 5:43:47.6

That is 25 minutes 8.4 secs off my Houston time back in January.

I placed 14th among all 26 women in the Clydesdale division and 12th among the 15 women in the 39 and under Clydesdales.

In the first half of the race I ran an 11:57 mile and in the second half I ran a 14:14 mile pace. I started getting slower at mile 16. Those hills must have taken a greater toll on me than I thought. Anyway my overall average pace was a 13:07 mile.

Walter and my brother took some great pictures. I'll post them soon.

There were 10,000 runners at this event.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

I walked 1,795 steps.

I ran 9.68 miles and burned 1,174 calories.

I leave for the Dallas White Rock Marathon tomorrow.

Goofy spam names and Zen koans:
Earnests J. Wearer
Rolex Oyster Perpetual
Humanely Q. Highland

Let's get this party started.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I walked 982 steps.

Goofy spam names:
Mulligatawny M. Electorate
Area G. Filtration

That is all I have to say about that.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

I walked 1,296 steps. I ran over 3 miles.

Last week I ran 17.5 miles, burned 2,004.4 calories and weigh 160.3 pounds.

I received my e-mail from the Clif Bar Pace Team. 5 days until the Dallas White Rock Marathon.

Goofy spam names:
Cleanse U. Postcode
Footlights S. Watchword

I did not check my e-mail for 4 days. My box got full and messages bounced.

There will be a new cartoon tonight.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Radio MASH is finished! 4,500 kids will get toys this year.

This year the toy donations were slow in coming and so everything was behind. The last order was filled at 10:00 am today.

I woke up at 7:30 am on Sunday and then took a two hour nap from 1:00 am to 3:00 am on Monday and then went back to the MASH compound. I am taking a sick day.

Next order of business: shower, then bed.

Salvador is molting. My shoulder has lots of bird dander on it. It looks like a nasty case of dandruff. The feathers distinguish it from dandruff.

God, I'm so pathetic. I have to blog before I sleep.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

I walked 4,300 steps.

I received a call from the animal shelter. They have a parrot available for adoption. A mitered conure named Elmer. He is a very sweet and unusually friendly bird. We assumed that we would be charged the standard adoption fee of $70. The shelter wants 50% of pet store retail. We cannot afford the $150 plus a larger cage for $45. I'll call the shelter in the morning to let them know that we won't be taking Elmer. This allow them to call the next person on the breed waiting list.

I'm sure Elmer will find a good home. I'm glad he was not a Cockatoo or a Macaw at 50% retail that would have been some real sticker shock. Maybe another parrot will become available after our economic fortunes have improved.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Rejected M. Route
Heartiness F. Cuddled
Steadies U. Leapfrogs