Sometimes God is puzzled and horrified

Cool retro style artwork on Dorian Grey.

Very disturbing.

Odd question in the first panel. What book is the mother holding?

Cow has the best punchlines.

Barney Google finally makes an appearance in someone else's comic strip. I saved this one a couple of weeks ago meaning to post it sooner.

I promised I would not let emotions take over...

To paraphrase the great John Wayne:
I voted for him, he will be my president and I hope he does a good job.

White people love their apologies. I apologize for the Texas A&M chapter of the Young Conservatives and Ashley Todd.

How could I not include this cartoon in today's blog? Change the hair color to blonde and it would be a decent cartoon likeness.

I managed to not watch television this morning and did not turn on the radio in the car. The silence in the car was good. I think I will continue that practice on the drive to work.

I read blogs and the online edition of the B/CS Eagle. Seriously, Eagle dump the reader comments. Stop giving the ugly a forum. This crap would not see print in the dead tree version of the bird, so why lower your standards for online edition? At least hire a moderator.

Hooray for South Dakota! Hooray for Michigan! Hey, Utah! WTF You doing in California's business? California, fund a proposition in Utah banning the wearing of underwear. If Utah (UTAH!!? DEFINING MARRIAGE!) can dictate to California who should get married then California should get to dictate something to Utah. Or at least have some its citizens be less than equal. Fair is fair.

Interesting indifference

Boy, Mary Worth is quite spry for a woman her age. When I am her age I hope to be able to move that fast in the middle of a sentence.

Moy no longer cares about the writing, Giella no longer cares about the art, soon the coloring person will stop caring and then the comic will become real interesting.

90% of mothers would make the same mistake, the other 10% would be at the party.

Amen, Joe, amen.

Speaking on nonsense, Walter and I will watch the debate tonight. Netflix said that the Muppet Show Season One: Disc One should arrive today. I hope so.

Bodies

Off the Mark and Days of Thunder brings today's comic page theme - strategically placed props

Speaking of the human body check out this slide show from the New York Times. The stats are mind boggling and given the diversity of body types all these athletes consume about the same amount of calories.

Boxing fascinates me because of the wide range of sizes that participate. From nbcolympics.com:
Weight classes (kilogram amounts are official)
• Light flyweight (Up to 48kg/106 lbs)
• Flyweight (Over 48kg/106 lbs up to 51kg/112 lbs)
• Bantamweight (Over 51kg/112 lbs up to 54kg/119 lbs)
• Featherweight (Over 54kg/119 lbs up to 57kg/126 lbs)
• Lightweight (Over 57kg/126 lbs up to 60kg/132 lbs)
• Light welterweight (Over 60kg/132 lbs up to 64kg/141 lbs)
• Welterweight (Over 64kg/141 lbs up to 69 kg/152 lbs)
• Middleweight (Over 69kg/152 lbs up to 75 kg/165 lbs)
• Light heavyweight (Over 75 kg/165 lbs up to 81kg/179 lbs)
• Heavyweight (Over 81 kg/179 lbs up to 91 kg/201 lbs)
• Super heavyweight (Over 91kg/201 lbs)

Athleticism comes in all shapes, sizes and ages.

Yesterday, I did my jump rope for the Gold's Gym Games: 1 minute 36.44 seconds. This is a personal best according to the way I count (I count the number of times I go over the rope): 102. Then I ran 4 miles and never felt lighter on my feet. I need to add jump rope to my regular training routine. My coordination has improved as well as my running.

Later today I do the leg press. 155 or 160 pounds depending on what the gym scale says today. I'm weighing with my shoes on because I wear them while working out.

The Secret

Off the Mark refuses to mention the secret...while Pearls Before Swine has no problem.

I keep asking the universe for the power to smite. So far the universe has failed to grant my wish. I only want it because smite is a neat word and no one has invented a weapon that can smite. "I smite thee!" has greater flair than "I'm gonna blow your brains out!"
What complex carb is that?
I would purchase a t-shirt with the image in the last panel on it minus the narration. Just Zerbina holding a rifle and vowing to never watch Sex and the City.

Pronounced Hay - Soos

Jesus not only fixed Wally's vision and regrew his hair but caused that hair to move with a life of its own. I need to check out my Dilbert Widget and see what color was chosen for Wally's hair. I hope it's red.

So we won't get an actual flashback just Mary talking about her past. Giella and Moy, feel free to exploit the graphic capabilities of the comic strip medium. The comic strip not only allows you to tell but to show. This gives it the distinct advantage over the written word alone and conversations at church coffee hour.

If the visuals won't be interesting I hope the words continue to keep my interest.

This perceived marketing failure can be salvaged. Market it to migraine sufferers as an empathy tool for the non-migraine sufferers in their life.

A full month of Mary Worthlessness

Day 31 - one full month of Mary Worthless Mary Worth. Drew, use caution when pressing your hand into your face. You're distorting your face.

How to make the Vera hallucinations stop? Drew, you could make it to Nevada in about 8 hours and enjoy the services provided by one of the legal brothels. It may not heal the heartache but it will provide a distraction for you and the readers. Badly drawn sex has to be more interesting than this plot. Or move this thing indoors so that readers can at least look at some shifting backgrounds.

Come on, Mary Lou, quickly straighten out one leg and your problems will disappear.

The sun shining through my window and brightening my office prevents me from getting too depressed about the fact that I have brain space devoted to the names of Sonya Hobbes' children. Oh, god, I know Momma's full name!

Cats dominated today's comics (excluding the cat-oriented strips, 9 comics featured cats). Two dealt with using cats as tools.

I have lots of recipes from SparkPeople in my e-mail archives that I have not tried. One could probably fit the complete works of Shakespeare in that amount of space.

Went to the dentist today. Got a clean bill of dental health. My blood pressure is 104/51 and pulse 54. Apparently, my dentist has hired someone to converse with while poking around in my mouth. Nothing like inane conversation to make the dental experience more pleasant.

Day 30 - Still no Mary Worth

Will Drew park the car, get out and jump or will he hit the accelerator? More likely just sit and stare while the car radio plays some song from the 1980's station. Depending on the song this could take 10 to 30 days. Several days of Drew's thoughts and lyrics from some song. My nipples are erect in anticipation.

Disturbing, very disturbing.

Death Takes a Holiday

and appears in the Monday comics.

Frank and Ernest brings us a painful pun (as if there are any other kinds):

B.C. is improving under the new artist, who signs as Mason:

Off the Mark has fun with cartoon conventions:

Finally, thanks to a glitch in my Comics page at Chron.com I saw this disturbing image on 4 of my comics pages:

It is Edda's mouth that bothers me.

Lots of comics

I want the flotation device in the third panel.

I wish they did make flags with whoopie cushions on them. I would buy one.

Family Circus parody day this past Sunday

Two comics that demonstrate how my mind works:
I wouldn't write a dissertation but I've had existential questions about fictional characters. Often, I find the fictional more interesting than the real.

Cramps and Comics

Visited the mothers this past weekend, mine on Saturday and Walter's on Sunday.

Codeine enhanced Sunday's visit. I attempted to kill some pain - some of the worst menstrual cramps ever. I took large doses to kill the pain. The pain went away after I took 1,000 mg of Ibuprofen. My liver will suffer but at least the pain stopped.

The Bible says women have those pains because of Eve's sin. Something is seriously fucked up about that logic.

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What the hell is happening in panel 2? My artistic skills are lacking but damn it Giella, you are a professional! Is this what cartoonist Alzheimer's looks like? Perspective goes out the window. I'm glad that both characters are female. The character arrangement in panel 2 is making my head hurt. Curses upon you, Giella!

Huh!? Explain this joke and I'll send you some original A Perfect World artwork. Seriously, I'm running out of room to store the pages and I really want to understand this joke.

This joke would have been really hilarious in 1991 (Star Trek VI - The Undiscovered Country) or maybe in 1994 (Star Trek: Generations or Star Trek: Oh, Look Dramatic Cinematic Lighting!). What prompted this gag? The remastered original series (totally cool), James Doohan's missing ashes, the third anniversary of Enterprise's cancellation, rumors of a Star Trek movie prequel? Why this gag now?

I did not update last night. I was tired last night and did not feel like getting out of bed early this morning to update. It takes a couple of days to get the hang of the time change. I have some time off coming. I need it. I've been easily distracted lately.

I would use this excuse if I were a bus driver or better, an ice cream truck driver. Can't get in trouble if the kids don't get ice cream. If the kids don't make it to school, big trouble. I don't think for a minute that they are learning anything other than the stuff on the standardized test but at least they are in one place for a while rather than roaming the streets.

I need to go clothes shopping more often so that I can understand this cartoon. I need to buy some new pants. Too bad the artist did not draw examples of "editor" and "publicist" style pants so that I can determine whether or not this will be one more source of frustration when I shop for pants. My pants needs are simple: two legs, fly on the front, the hem lands at minimum on the top of my feet, pockets, straight legs, waist lands somewhere between my navel and hip bones, machine washable, and not required to purchase accessories, peripherals or shoes just to wear them.

The best daylight savings time cartoon. I'm amazed that Mark Parisi can come up with this brilliant stuff day after day.

Who still owns a little radio without headphones? Maybe that's why the old man is pissed off - some kid using a transistor radio. From the balloon coming out of the radio, the kid must be listening to some form of punk bluegrass. That would make me take up my cane and start cursing at the top of my lungs.

Cartoonists cannot help themselves. The fourth wall demands to be breached occasionally. It's funny most of the time but there are some cartoonists that can still screw it up.