Sometimes God is puzzled and horrified

Cool retro style artwork on Dorian Grey.

Very disturbing.

Odd question in the first panel. What book is the mother holding?

Cow has the best punchlines.

Barney Google finally makes an appearance in someone else's comic strip. I saved this one a couple of weeks ago meaning to post it sooner.

Describe an accordion without using your hands

The premise of NBA draftees trying to flee the country is fictional but the TSA screeners are really that arbitrary and stupid.

I occasionally run by a church named Frontiers of Faith. The sign describes the church as a five-fold apostlostic ministry. There might be one more word in the description that I'm forgetting - something vaguely theological. I need to post a picture of the sign. The church is on Old Hearne Road in Bryan, Texas. I thought of this church in terms of the definition of frontier illustrated in the above cartoon. I'm curious about the self-description but not curious enough to invest the time listening to the explanation. It does provide a built-in way to explain the church that UU churches lack. Then, "What the ---- is that?" is not always the best conversation starter.
You go Martin! Tea party that muther down, man!
Puppies! Sketched puppies but still puppies! Sleeping puppies!
Damn it, Jeff, wrong approach! Stop referring to Mary's meddling as counseling. Counselors receive some training. Instead of talking to her in terms of your relationship, just tell her that she is unqualified and as a way to satisfy her need to meddle, give her the phone number of a professional you know to pass on to Ron.

Task for the day: attempt to describe an accordion without using your hands. Challenge your friends. It is more difficult than you think. Try it at a party this weekend. Let me know in the comments how you did. I failed.

Slowly killing me

It's slowly killing me too, but in a good way.

Dolly said the same thing on stage during poetry reading night at the coffee house but she did so in a whiskey fueled rage. The manager threw her out after she threw the half empty bottle at a heckler. Her parents sent her to her room. The stuffed animals appreciate the poetry in her spare prose even if her brother, Billy, with his narrow-minded concepts about poetry does not. The goldfish does not care.

Young Mary is so overwhelmed by an actual act of kindness that she vows never to engage in those sorts of acts herself. Just spout platitudes and meddle and pretend that this is kindness. Action only leads to pain. Pain is bad.

Here's a quote that Mary should consider adding to her repertoire:
"If only I could throw away the urge to trace my patterns in your heart, I could really see you." - David Brandon (Zen in the Art of Helping). Following that advice would cause Mary's reason for being to cease.

Mary Worth's story is slowly killing me, but not in a good way.

This Made Sense Earlier

I've often though that myself - this made sense earlier. Wheat grass tastes nasty.


Mock meat with a fake hair - ha!

Ga Ud Endeligt Nedsla!

I did not update my cartoon last night because of a thunder storm and I was a bit tired from doing speed work last night. In lieu of my cartoon here are some other people's cartoons.

Rhymes with Orange gives us a slightly surrealistic pun. The older generation is familiar with nose rings just not used to seeing them on Americans.

The artist has captured the essence of cat.

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who enjoys the calming influence of Danish thrash metal. When I layed out the orders of service for my church I listened to Scandinavian death metal.

I can feel the love that Giella put into rendering those bits of hair in Wilbur's comb over. Dawn is withholding information because Wilbur and others at Charterstone will stage an intervention and suck all the life and happiness out of her.

Holy crap! Those are big flys.
Another slightly surrealistic pun.

Comic time

Things at work have slowed down a bit. I've been filming and editing candidate videos. I will do more of that in the beginning of next week. I've enjoyed doing this over the infinite project. I did receive some helpful suggestions for the project, for example "need photo" in a space holder that I placed on the poster for the photos that I'm trying to get. I wonder if one of the wildlife researchers will let me use the tranquilizer dart gun? That will make some of these people stop so I can get a photo. I did receive some actual helpful suggestions on this project, very few of them providing the information I need but I'll take what I can get.
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Themes for today's comics: other characters appearing in single panel comics and dog drinking out of the toilet bowl gags (Buckles and Mother Goose and Grimm, which I did not post here).

B.C. explores the hilarity of domestic violence.

Sometimes, I suspend a bit of scientific knowledge for the sake of a gag. It looks like Glasbergen does the same thing. But I felt this panel pushed the suspension a bit far. I immediately thought of the baleen whales rather than the toothed whales when reading this gag. A panel caption does not provide enough space to make distinctions. I suppose "..why do sperm whales (or killer whales) weigh two tons?" could have worked. Maintain the integrity of the gag with some scientific accuracy.

More information about whale diets and weights can be found here and here.

Now, I have that song stuck in my head. Shining star for you to see... What your life can truly be... Damn it, now I have to go find that song so that I can hear the whole thing so I can make the parts that I know stop playing in a loop in my head.
Idea for a game show for cartoonists: Set up that bad punchline. Contestants receive a bad punchline and then proclaim how many panels it would take them to set it up. Then they would have to draw the comic. I can set up that crappy punchline in two panels. Ha, I can set it up in a single panel.
Face it Mary, no one wants to attend the Charterstone pool party. Sadly, I'm kind of looking forward to it. This could answer questions about Mary Worth time. Will the pool party strip appear tomorrow or will it wait until Sunday? If it appears tomorrow then Mary Worth time corresponds to our 24 hour day but if it does not appear until Sunday then 60 hours of our time equals 24 hours of Mary Worth time. We have the potential for a breakthrough in comic strip physics research.

Giella can still draw the withering stare of Mary Worth.

The only thing preventing the ceiling tiles in my office from crashing down upon my head is the third floor absorbing the water from the leaky roof.

Happy birthday, William Shatner! Bow down to the almighty Shatner! All hail the great and almighty Shatner!

Pure comic genius.

Loretta's mother is rather attractive.

The Star Trek icon is from echosphere.net

Last night was semi-literate, equipment hog night at the gym.

How hard is it to match the numbers on the dumbbells to the numbers on the rack?

In an environment in which equipment is shared you cannot do immediate transitions to different exercises. Sorry. Yeah, I'm talking about you Ms. hoard the 12.5 pound dumbbells while doing your step ups! I could have done my 12 reps and two other people could have done 12 reps each by the time you switched to the exercise that required the 12.5 pound dumbbells. The most time that you would have to wait between exercises is 30 seconds except when there are dumbbell hogging idiots around. Get a home gym if you want to immediately switch exercises or do body weight calisthenics instead.

Today's comics:

Comics page editors have so much great material to choose from but yet Cathy and Drabble are still in the papers. I want blinky lights on my shoes.

Another cartoonist breaks the fourth wall. The girl's brother is grappling with the implications of what his sister just did.

Get out of my head! Who has been sending this cartoonist my fantasies?

Vera run! A nicer apartment is not worth your soul! You can hang pictures, paint or even wall paper a bit. A few plants can help make your present dwelling habitable. My god, Mary Worth already has her soul sucking face on. Vera, that finger of death can poke straight through your sternum.

I did not update last night. I was tired last night and did not feel like getting out of bed early this morning to update. It takes a couple of days to get the hang of the time change. I have some time off coming. I need it. I've been easily distracted lately.

I would use this excuse if I were a bus driver or better, an ice cream truck driver. Can't get in trouble if the kids don't get ice cream. If the kids don't make it to school, big trouble. I don't think for a minute that they are learning anything other than the stuff on the standardized test but at least they are in one place for a while rather than roaming the streets.

I need to go clothes shopping more often so that I can understand this cartoon. I need to buy some new pants. Too bad the artist did not draw examples of "editor" and "publicist" style pants so that I can determine whether or not this will be one more source of frustration when I shop for pants. My pants needs are simple: two legs, fly on the front, the hem lands at minimum on the top of my feet, pockets, straight legs, waist lands somewhere between my navel and hip bones, machine washable, and not required to purchase accessories, peripherals or shoes just to wear them.

The best daylight savings time cartoon. I'm amazed that Mark Parisi can come up with this brilliant stuff day after day.

Who still owns a little radio without headphones? Maybe that's why the old man is pissed off - some kid using a transistor radio. From the balloon coming out of the radio, the kid must be listening to some form of punk bluegrass. That would make me take up my cane and start cursing at the top of my lungs.

Cartoonists cannot help themselves. The fourth wall demands to be breached occasionally. It's funny most of the time but there are some cartoonists that can still screw it up.