Describe an accordion without using your hands

The premise of NBA draftees trying to flee the country is fictional but the TSA screeners are really that arbitrary and stupid.

I occasionally run by a church named Frontiers of Faith. The sign describes the church as a five-fold apostlostic ministry. There might be one more word in the description that I'm forgetting - something vaguely theological. I need to post a picture of the sign. The church is on Old Hearne Road in Bryan, Texas. I thought of this church in terms of the definition of frontier illustrated in the above cartoon. I'm curious about the self-description but not curious enough to invest the time listening to the explanation. It does provide a built-in way to explain the church that UU churches lack. Then, "What the ---- is that?" is not always the best conversation starter.
You go Martin! Tea party that muther down, man!
Puppies! Sketched puppies but still puppies! Sleeping puppies!
Damn it, Jeff, wrong approach! Stop referring to Mary's meddling as counseling. Counselors receive some training. Instead of talking to her in terms of your relationship, just tell her that she is unqualified and as a way to satisfy her need to meddle, give her the phone number of a professional you know to pass on to Ron.

Task for the day: attempt to describe an accordion without using your hands. Challenge your friends. It is more difficult than you think. Try it at a party this weekend. Let me know in the comments how you did. I failed.