Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Open Letter

Dear lady at the gym,

I was not giving you the dirty looks because of your body shape. As a former not so lean person I applaud the fact that you are taking action regarding the size of your ass. It will be a long and fulfilling journey as you find yourself fitting into smaller clothes, the numbers on the scale moving downward, being able to do things you have never been able to do before and muscles appearing. Again, I salute you.

No, ma'am it was not your big fat ass causing the dirty looks. It was your rudeness. Your complete unawareness of how to behave in a communal setting. Your ability to make it to adulthood and to a point of having approximately $30 per month of extra income to spend on a Gold's Gym membership while failing to grasp the basics of sharing. Sharing, most of us got the hang of it by kindergarten. Somehow, you missed this.

You hogged two benches, four sets of dumbbells, and a barbell. 5, 7.5, 10, and 12.5 pound pairs of dumbbells and a 30 pound barbell. 100 pounds! Which is twice the amount of weight you probably want to lose. That amount of hoarding exceeded my pounds lost by 20.

I know the exercise book that you were reading from probably said something about not resting between sets, minimizing transition time between exercises but considering that you were 2 feet from the racks which hold the dumbbells, your transition time would have increased by 2 seconds - 3 tops. Consider it a bit of extra cardio. Hopefully, you will lose some of the fat that is blocking the part of your brain that considers that others could have used those other dumbbells while you were doing reps with a different set. Luckily, today was not as crowded and I and others did not have to wait for a set of dumbbells.

For the benefit of others reading this letter, no the woman was not so large that she had a gravitational pull. Nope, I saw her grab each of these sets of weights and stack them in an area she designated as hers. Sort like dogs urinating.

Gym etiquette: There is no "fixin' to use" in a communal setting. Nothing wrong with taking a minute of rest between sets with the same weights but hoarding is wrong.

The two benches, that you, rude lady, hogged, I wanted to use one of them. But thanks to you, I got a bit of extra cardio by walking to a free bench. That wouldn't have bothered me so much if either of the benches marking "your territory" was supporting any part of your body. Nope you chose to use one bench as a purse and book holder and the other to rest the 30 pound barbell against and place a set of dumbbells that you were not using upon. Oh, by the way, I managed to do 2 sets of one arm dumbbell rows and dumbbell dead-lifts, which included walks to and from the rack to get different weights, before you even lifted the 30 pound barbell for exercise. I hope nobody wanted to use that barbell.

You may not be aware of all the amenities that you get for $30/ month at Gold's. One of those includes a nice rubber floor upon which you can rest a purse, a book and 100 pounds of hoarded weights. It is a great floor. Over the years, I've placed towels, books, work out logs, cell phones, body parts and weights upon it without damage. Nobody has ever stepped on any of my stuff or dropped anything on it. Your purse and book are safe on the floor. If you need to read some fine print in the book, do what I do, bend at the hips and stretch the hamstrings. Everybody has tight hamstrings that could use a good stretch. The benches are great too, for supporting a body. The benches at Gold's are capable of supporting bodies much bigger than yours. Too bad, your rudeness prevented two benches from being put to the test.

Gold's also has fabulous racks. They are a handy resting place for dumbbells and barbells you are not using at the moment and there is always a set available for use when needed unless some ignorant hoarder screws up the informal system. I know that there is nothing in writing that says you can't hoard weights but I believe it is covered under the "be courteous to other members" rule. The same rule that keeps me from saying to you, "No, don't do this shit! It's rude! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Please don't get the wrong impression that my irritation at your rudeness was exacerbated by your apple-shaped, at higher risk for heart disease, fat ass. No, I would have been just as irritated by a skinny woman displaying the same behavior. I sincerely hope that you transform from a fat rude person to a skinny rude person. Your body transformation will take a long and dedicated effort and a lifetime commitment to maintain and I wish you all the luck in the world. On the other hand, changing your rude behavior only takes a minute of thinking about the other members of the gym or how you would feel if someone else behaved like you.

Next time, I will bring you to the attention of management and allow them the privilege of diplomatically training you on gym etiquette or decide whose $30/ month they lose.

Good luck on your efforts.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Clip art preview

A bit of clip art that I am working on. This week's theme is people. I'm trying a retro tiki sixties style. Pen and prismacolor pencils.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Lunch: April 27

Lunch today was an attempt at a variation of red beans and rice. Black beans and brown rice. Included some endamame, spinach, onion, bell pepper, and celery. Opted to go meatless. Had some chili powder in the mix but most of it boiled away.

Need to add spices later in the process because this was a bit bland.

Estimated nutritional content: 300 calories, 53 g carbohydrates, 3 g fat, 16 g protein, 13 g fiber, 205 mg sodium, 685 mg potassium 

Someday I will do some real cooking rather than simply boiling, stir frying or combining a random set of ingredients.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Lunch April 25

Today's lunch was whole wheat linguine with chicken, spinach, onion, mushroom, bell pepper, and Butoni marinara sauce. The chicken and pasta were the dominant flavors; the sauce was secondary. Only used a half cup. Tasted good with no side effects so far. The marinara was in the back of the fridge for a while and looked a bit questionable.

Estimated nutrition information: 457 calories, 56 g Carbs, 10 g fat, 40 g protein, 622 mg sodium, 1106 mg potassium.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Food Preparation Adventures

Today's homemade lunch was a salad. Salads are hard to mess up.

This is a spinach salad with tuna (Starkist tuna pack), grapes, pineapple, walnuts, celery, bell pepper, mandarin oranges, a dash of red pepper flakes and a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.

Didn't use salad dressing because each ingredient has enough flavoring on its own and the vinegar and flakes took the edge off the spinach. The dominant flavor was whatever was in that particular bite. I'm not a fan of salad dressings for salads with flavorful ingredients. Especially, ranch dressing. After all the stuff I put on this salad, topping it off with ranch dressing would have been like taking a giant shit on it. If I want ranch dressing, I'll drink it straight from the bottle.

I'm not a foodie but ranch dressing is wrong for most occasions. It drowns out all other flavors. It is salad dressing version of glitter. Glitter is the herpes of crafts.

Ranch dressing is appropriate for salads consisting of nothing but iceberg lettuce, a bit of red cabbage and some carrot shavings. This is not a salad but a dressing delivery system. It provides a good excuse for consuming a lot of ranch dressing without drinking straight from the bottle because either the bottle is unavailable or you're with people.

I also prepared my own yogurt - Dannon plain yogurt with frozen blackberries (thawed by lunch time). I wanted to cut down on my sugar intake and save some money.

Yes, there is two cups of spinach under all that.

The numbers for this lunch: 548 calories, 84 g carbs, 16 g fat, 40 g protein, 530 mg sodium, 1,576 mg potassium

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Adventures in food preparation

This week I'm experimenting with making my lunches rather than using prepackaged food.

The first experiment is replicating the Simply Asia noodle bowls. The experiment is pictured below.

Did use one pre-made ingredient, pre-cooked chicken breast. Ingredients: 2 oz. of whole wheat linguine, 1 tbsp of low sodium soy sauce, one stalk of celery (chopped), 2 tbsp of chopped onion, 1/4 cup of chopped bell pepper, 1/4 cup of edamane (soy beans), 1 tsp of Tabasco, a pinch of red pepper flakes, 1 pre-cooked chicken breast (diced), 1 tbsp of almond butter. Stir-fried the vegetables in soy sauce & Tabasco while linguine was boiling. Heated up chicken. Drained noodles, stirred in almond butter, added vegetables and chicken. Stirred some more. Added a dash of red pepper flakes. Estimated nutrition content: Calories: 437, 36 g Protein, 13 g Fat, 51 g Carbohydrates, 727 mg Sodium, 489 mg Potassium

I didn't work off a written recipe, just threw together the ingredients.

Tabasco and soy sauce were the dominant flavors with a hint of celery. The noodles had an interesting texture. I thought it tasted as good as any of the pre-packaged meals with the added benefit of less sodium.

Cutting down on sodium was the main motivator for this experiment. I trade some time for expense. I enjoyed doing this.

Over two hours since eating this and have not suffered any ill effects.

Maybe I should get a parsley plant for the office to garnish these photos.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Lunch: April 15

Today's lunch: Zatarain's Jambalaya flavored with sausage.

Package versus reality.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Lunch: March 29

Simply Asia Sesame Teriyaki Noodle Bowl.
Package versus reality
Beginning to realize that this just upgraded ramen.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Today's lunch

Today lunch is a middle finger directed at the earth. A delicious, convenient 520 calorie middle finger.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Hopeless gardener

This is designed for children. If I cannot grow some food with this then I'm hopeless.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Belated lunch post

Zatarain's Red Beans & Rice with Sausage package:


Trying Blogger for Android

Test post from phone.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Two Lunch Posts: Package vs. Reality

Lean Cuisine Mushroom Tortelloni. I think I ate this February 3.

From Drop Box

Reality has more peas.
From Drop Box

A lot more peas.
From Drop Box

Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers: Whiskey Steak. I ate this February 8th.
From Drop Box

I wonder if potatoes get as much subsidy as corn?
From Drop Box

If I wasn't so lazy I could probably prepare something better from scratch.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Today's Lunch: Package vs. Reality

Lean Cuisine Sweet & Spicy Ginger Chicken. It was quite good. I didn't taste any water chestnuts.

The package:
From Drop Box

Reality from roughly the same angle as the package:
From Drop Box
The reality from above:
From Drop Box
I like how these photos turned out. Used natural light.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Today's Lunch: Package vs. Reality

Today's Lunch: Central Market Pad Thai. Central Market is the HEB store brand of organic foods.

The package:
From Drop Box

Need to work on the glare on the package photos.

The reality:
From Drop Box

It's not you, the reality photo is a bit out of focus.

Bonus photo:
From Drop Box
This particular type Amy's Burrito is only available at HEB. Wal-Mart doesn't carry the yellow ones, just the red and green. Makes me wonder about grocery distribution agreements.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Today's Lunch: Package vs. Reality

Lunch for 1/12/2011: Healthy Choice Portabella Marsala Pasta

The package:

The reality photographed from the approximate angle of the package. I don't keep a bottle of olive oil on my desk.
The reality photographed from above.
The general layout is similar but the noodles are different. Not bad for a microwave meal.

Friday, January 07, 2011

Today's Lunch: Package vs. Reality

Today's Lunch: Healthy Choice Lobster Cheese Ravioli.

The product on the package:

The product in reality after cooking:
To be fair, I should have photographed from the same angle but then the picture would be mostly black plastic container.

It tasted pretty much how it looks, not nasty but bland. It was a source of carbohydrates, protein and fat. I kind of feel sorry for the lobsters that were killed for this.

I also ate some yogurt and a pineapple product from Dole.