Open Letter

Dear lady at the gym,

I was not giving you the dirty looks because of your body shape. As a former not so lean person I applaud the fact that you are taking action regarding the size of your ass. It will be a long and fulfilling journey as you find yourself fitting into smaller clothes, the numbers on the scale moving downward, being able to do things you have never been able to do before and muscles appearing. Again, I salute you.

No, ma'am it was not your big fat ass causing the dirty looks. It was your rudeness. Your complete unawareness of how to behave in a communal setting. Your ability to make it to adulthood and to a point of having approximately $30 per month of extra income to spend on a Gold's Gym membership while failing to grasp the basics of sharing. Sharing, most of us got the hang of it by kindergarten. Somehow, you missed this.

You hogged two benches, four sets of dumbbells, and a barbell. 5, 7.5, 10, and 12.5 pound pairs of dumbbells and a 30 pound barbell. 100 pounds! Which is twice the amount of weight you probably want to lose. That amount of hoarding exceeded my pounds lost by 20.

I know the exercise book that you were reading from probably said something about not resting between sets, minimizing transition time between exercises but considering that you were 2 feet from the racks which hold the dumbbells, your transition time would have increased by 2 seconds - 3 tops. Consider it a bit of extra cardio. Hopefully, you will lose some of the fat that is blocking the part of your brain that considers that others could have used those other dumbbells while you were doing reps with a different set. Luckily, today was not as crowded and I and others did not have to wait for a set of dumbbells.

For the benefit of others reading this letter, no the woman was not so large that she had a gravitational pull. Nope, I saw her grab each of these sets of weights and stack them in an area she designated as hers. Sort like dogs urinating.

Gym etiquette: There is no "fixin' to use" in a communal setting. Nothing wrong with taking a minute of rest between sets with the same weights but hoarding is wrong.

The two benches, that you, rude lady, hogged, I wanted to use one of them. But thanks to you, I got a bit of extra cardio by walking to a free bench. That wouldn't have bothered me so much if either of the benches marking "your territory" was supporting any part of your body. Nope you chose to use one bench as a purse and book holder and the other to rest the 30 pound barbell against and place a set of dumbbells that you were not using upon. Oh, by the way, I managed to do 2 sets of one arm dumbbell rows and dumbbell dead-lifts, which included walks to and from the rack to get different weights, before you even lifted the 30 pound barbell for exercise. I hope nobody wanted to use that barbell.

You may not be aware of all the amenities that you get for $30/ month at Gold's. One of those includes a nice rubber floor upon which you can rest a purse, a book and 100 pounds of hoarded weights. It is a great floor. Over the years, I've placed towels, books, work out logs, cell phones, body parts and weights upon it without damage. Nobody has ever stepped on any of my stuff or dropped anything on it. Your purse and book are safe on the floor. If you need to read some fine print in the book, do what I do, bend at the hips and stretch the hamstrings. Everybody has tight hamstrings that could use a good stretch. The benches are great too, for supporting a body. The benches at Gold's are capable of supporting bodies much bigger than yours. Too bad, your rudeness prevented two benches from being put to the test.

Gold's also has fabulous racks. They are a handy resting place for dumbbells and barbells you are not using at the moment and there is always a set available for use when needed unless some ignorant hoarder screws up the informal system. I know that there is nothing in writing that says you can't hoard weights but I believe it is covered under the "be courteous to other members" rule. The same rule that keeps me from saying to you, "No, don't do this shit! It's rude! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Please don't get the wrong impression that my irritation at your rudeness was exacerbated by your apple-shaped, at higher risk for heart disease, fat ass. No, I would have been just as irritated by a skinny woman displaying the same behavior. I sincerely hope that you transform from a fat rude person to a skinny rude person. Your body transformation will take a long and dedicated effort and a lifetime commitment to maintain and I wish you all the luck in the world. On the other hand, changing your rude behavior only takes a minute of thinking about the other members of the gym or how you would feel if someone else behaved like you.

Next time, I will bring you to the attention of management and allow them the privilege of diplomatically training you on gym etiquette or decide whose $30/ month they lose.

Good luck on your efforts.

Time warp gym

The Lockhorns found a gym from the 1940's. Amazing.

Random Thoughts

I did not update last night because I worked on church business instead. Some of the Board members are night owls. It all business leading to a couple of meetings. I do other things at church besides meetings and preparing for meetings. I will update tonight.

Is Mrs. Brownback a puppet? I need to look at the video of the interview again to see where Sen. Brownback's right arm was located. She looked very uncomfortable next to her husband during the post-debate interview.

Is it me or does anyone else see a resemblance:

Mitt Romney on the left, Lyle Waggoner circa late 1970's on the right.

I hope Fred Thompson joins the race. This would force Tommy Thompson to use "I'm not the Law and Order guy" as a campaign slogan. Would Fred Thompson be allowed to use the Law and Order "donk-donk" sound effect in his commercials?

(Sound effect from http://blog.rickbreslin.com/blog/law_and_order_doink_doink_sound.asp)

I had a confrontation with one of the dumbbell hogs at the gym. It was polite. I simply asked if I could do a quick 12 reps with the 10 pound dumbbells while she did her walking lunges with the 20 pound barbell? I did my 12 reps, put the 10 pound dumbbells back near her stuff and picked up another set of weights before she finished her walking lunges. I hope she learned a lesson that sharing does not have to interrupt your workout. As for the trainer hogging the weights - I think a letter to the manager is in order.

When did candor in a debate become equated with comic relief? No wonder politicians don't speak honestly; stupid people (journalists) analyse their statements and draw wrong conclusions.

I did not update the cartoon last night because of a thunderstorm. On the plus side, I watched Enterprise and got a decent night's sleep. I could have done something productive like put up the clean clothes and load the dishwasher but I think I benefited more from the rest. The clothes and dishes can wait.

Last night's workout frustrated me a bit. Another long wait for equipment, annoying people, still a bit of tightness in the back and I could not do a single clean and jerk. I skipped working my calf muscles. The work day and lack of sleep probably affected my performance. I understand the benefits of changing workouts every four weeks. I'm on my last week on this particular workout.

I will run tonight. I enjoy running.

Mary, looking remarkably manly in the first panel, has met her first introvert and does not know what to make of human being that does not need constant companionship, chatter and prefers to not talk too much about anything. Will Mary learn to accept Vera as simply a part of the 35% of the U.S. population who operates in the world differently than herself and allow the friendship to develop at its own pace? The answer: of course not! Mary, as an extrovert gone mad, will ignore all the hints, signals and restraining orders until the whole story ends in an ugly way. Mary will blame Vera. Mary will never realize that the problem lies with her.

All the creepy touching did not help matters, either.

I need to seriously evaluate my life.

This week I ran 4.5 miles, burned 560.1 calories and weigh 169.3 pounds.

Tuesday: 2.23 miles in 25:00
Thursday: 2.27 miles in 25:00

I did not run Saturday because I volunteered at a shooting clays tournament fund raiser for Woodstock. I pushed buttons and got a mild sunburn. I enjoyed working at the tournament.

Friday, I hurt my back by picking up after an idiot who did not know how to rack dumbbells. Friday's workout was especially frustrating between the idiots who would not rack dumbbells and the other idiots hoarding dumbbells. I think I will switch to body weight exercises next month.

Last night was semi-literate, equipment hog night at the gym.

How hard is it to match the numbers on the dumbbells to the numbers on the rack?

In an environment in which equipment is shared you cannot do immediate transitions to different exercises. Sorry. Yeah, I'm talking about you Ms. hoard the 12.5 pound dumbbells while doing your step ups! I could have done my 12 reps and two other people could have done 12 reps each by the time you switched to the exercise that required the 12.5 pound dumbbells. The most time that you would have to wait between exercises is 30 seconds except when there are dumbbell hogging idiots around. Get a home gym if you want to immediately switch exercises or do body weight calisthenics instead.

Today's comics:

Comics page editors have so much great material to choose from but yet Cathy and Drabble are still in the papers. I want blinky lights on my shoes.

Another cartoonist breaks the fourth wall. The girl's brother is grappling with the implications of what his sister just did.

Get out of my head! Who has been sending this cartoonist my fantasies?

Vera run! A nicer apartment is not worth your soul! You can hang pictures, paint or even wall paper a bit. A few plants can help make your present dwelling habitable. My god, Mary Worth already has her soul sucking face on. Vera, that finger of death can poke straight through your sternum.

I registered for the Armadillo Dash.

Went back to the gym today. Forgot how crowded it is in January.

Basic gym etiquette:

1. Rack your weights
2. Rack your weights in the correct location
3. Don't hog the weights. Keep them racked until you are actually using them. You can do the quick weight switch at home but not at the gym. Other people want to use the weights.
4. Watch where you are standing when socializing. It ruins my form when I have to avoid shoving a 12.5 pound dumbbell up your ass.
5. Don't lift weights in groups larger than 3. Nobody thinks you're gay if it is just two of you lifting weights. I appreciate the offer to work in but do you really want to remove 500 pounds of weight just to accommodate me?
6. If you are gone for more than 5 minutes don't be surprised to find some plates removed and someone else using the equipment.
7. Don't position your body in such a way that it blocks both water fountains. Scoot your ass over.
8. Wipe. This advice works outside the gym as well.
9. Loud grunting and screaming. This is a co-ed gym. Some of the female members have given birth. None of them screamed and grunted as loudly.
10. One works up quite a sweat but nobody should not smell you before they see you and it should not linger more than 2 minutes after you have left.
11. Rack your weights.
    

Walked 4,620 steps/ 1.78 miles.

I tried the Body Flow class instead of my usual workout. I liked the class but it is scheduled at a bad time for me. I was able to attend this class because of the day off.

I'm off to bed and will see how long it takes me to readjust to waking up so @#$%! early.

I'm almost finished with the Tibetan Book of the Dead!