Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Waving hands like clouds

Drew, Tai Chi is a Chinese art but your heart is in the right place in trying to learn something about the culture that you will work in. Fortunately the slow movements allow Mary and Jeff to get out of the way.

This comic has caused me to spend too much time wondering about the nature of the Shoe world.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A few days later...

Mary would have shrunk Jeff into a tiny little man that she could carry in her pocket with her withering stare if not for the intervention of Drew. Drew disrupts Mary's powers and plans, she hopes that he will go to Vietnam. I hope Drew wants to help his father remove Mary the succubus from his house.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Official Time

My official Armadillo Dash time: 02:47:54, placed 28th in my division (out of 28), placed 354 out of 399 overall. Total pace of 12:49 minutes per mile. I'm Sofa King Fast.

Suit Slapping: Guest starring William Windom

I love gags that play with homonyms. They seem so obvious when someone does draw it but yet no one else thought of it. Making the PHB take off his suit so that Bob the Dinosaur can slap him with it is a bit funnier than Bob bringing a different suit to slap. It would have worked a bit better visually if the suit was on a hanger. Maybe Bob could have held up a hanger in the second panel. The PHB is really being slapped with pants and a tie in the third panel. Everyone has their artistic limits.

Playing the role of Dr. Jeff Cory: William Windom Most well known to Trek fans as Commodore Matthew Decker from Doomsday Machine. I was able to recall the name of the actor but I still checked My confidence in my Trek trivia abilities is slipping.

Mary, you have no business talking about Drew's self absorption (I'm not quite sure if I have the right word - Drew Cory, the quicker picker upper). Something about removing a plank from your own eye before removing a speck from someone else's eye. Not that you actually read the Bible. The only way you hear of any sort of philosophy or moral teaching is third hand and manage to mangle it into some sickening platitude.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Armadillo Dash

According to the time I took myself, I ran the Armadillo Dash Half Marathon in 2:48:03. Official time may differ. If I want to to improve my time I will need to train specifically for these events rather than just signing up and running. I'm proud of the progress I've made in my own physical fitness that I can just sign up and run in a half marathon. I ran preceding two half marathons but nothing over 3.5 miles, just my normal non-training running.

Here are a few pictures my husband took:
Crossing the start line. I'm the one in the yellow shirt and shades.
In the final stretch.
Walter says hi and I look.
Trying to force my body to go a bit faster in this final stretch. It was a gorgeous day - high temp of 72 degrees F. A bit windy.

More pictures that Walter took from the 2008 Armadillo Dash can be found on Flickr at this URL:

For the first time I bled at a race. I felt my toenail on my fourth toe rub against my third toe. I noticed it but did not think much of it. When I came home Walter helped me take off my shoes and noticed a bit of blood on my right shoe. The sock had bloodstains and when the sock came off my third and fourth toes were covered in blood. With all that blood I expected a rather large gash. The wound is only about 5mm but boy did the blood flow. I will need to trim that toenail.

Saturday, February 23, 2008


There are things I need to do but I feel like doing them just yet so I read the comics instead.
Where is the damn gag!? I expect Drabble to be unfunny but not incomprehensible.

Good Lord Mary is posing like a male Sears catalog model. Drew will try to forget Vera by digging out parts of his brain with his bare hands. I think this is a Mary Worth first - the backgrounds remain consistent between panels.

Exercise Log

This week I ran, rowed and biked 10.25 miles, burned 970.9 calories and weigh 167.1 pounds.

Monday - rowed 1.33 miles in 10:00
Tuesday - ran 3.20 miles in 35:00
Wednesday - biked 2.65 miles in 15:00
Friday - ran 3.07 miles in 36:16

I picked up my packet for the Armadillo Dash Half Marathon and will race tomorrow. The weather will be perfect for a race.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Drunken lemurs write better

In a CIA secret prison, an operative, while under the supervision of a doctor, reads Mary Worth's dialogue to an unlawful enemy combatant repeatedly. The doctor insures that the interrogator does not go to far.

Mary's expression in panel two indicates that she does not believe her own platitude. Mary would not know inner growth even if it burst forth from her chest like an alien and announced itself by screaming, "I'm inner growth, bitch!", then defecated in the gaping hole in her chest and ran away to the Junction Cafe to enjoy a giant golden floating donut.

Jeff realizes that he cannot kill Mary so resigns himself to drinking himself to death. He will never go back to the work that nourishes his soul. Mary won't allow it. Mary does not allow anyone in her world to do real good, she just allows going through the motions.

Jeff wonders if the illness he got in Vietnam killed him and he is in hell or at least in purgatory.

English teachers, challenge your students to diagram this sentence:

Drew, I heard that soul mates are not always two people who live happily ever after but instead, they are those who can lead each other to the necessary lessons for the greatest inner growth!

Last night, watched Spirit of the Marathon. Check it out if it comes to a theater or NetFlix. A very inspiring movie. A good movie to watch before the Armadillo Dash.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Happiness through lower standards

The poll has closed. The poll should have closed a few days ago, since Mary Worth actually appeared in her comic strip. Began my 39th year and the sun has not gone supernova. One person called it correctly. Karen Moy, maybe? A second person voted after Mary's appearence.

I woke up this morning and did not find dead bodies in the street. A good day. I stay happy by keeping my standards for a good day low. I learned that technique from Walter.

Poor Bailey is 10 years old and already balding.

Alice the maid and Carol Brady says, "Get the hell out of our kitchen!"

Wow, I cannot think of Alice's last name. This makes me happy. I will not rush the demise of this moment by looking it up.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Pepperoni is a nice topping, it doesn't fly south for the winter

When I feel bad about my drawing skills, I read the Quigmans and feel much better.

Cartoonists on acid:

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
God did not @#$%! put the light in the fridge, a human being at the fridge factory put the light in the fridge! That human being does not give a rat's ass about your snacking habits, Billy! Another thing, the common usage is midnight SNACK not treat.

Better to abuse the Family Circus children than real children.

The flame thrower is more fun but not quite as environmentally friendly.

Guy Williams plays the role of Drew Cory in panel one. If a simple break-up leaves Dr. Drew reeling, I wonder what the sight of real suffering would do to him? Throw him into some kind of catatonic state? How does he practice medicine? Drew, you do need to get away from Santa Royale. Take your dad with you. Take me with you. Plenty of poverty in the Caribbean.

A funny blog that I added to my feeds: Stuff White People Like A funny look at "white culture" or at least the somewhat progressive, privileged, hipster aspects of whiteness.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The devil is an old lady in a pink pantsuit

A short list of the flaws in Mary Worth's suggestion:

  1. Dr. Jeff is retired thus has the luxury of traveling to a foreign land and doing good work. He would have that luxury if Mary Worth would let him. Dr. Drew is employed at a hospital.
  2. Mary, do you know whether or not Drew has a speciality that would meet the needs of the children at Peace Village? We have not seen Drew with an actual patient. He could be a pathologist or a medical examiner.
  3. Nothing to cure the sadness brought on by a broken heart than working with poor, deformed children in a third world country. Yeah, that ought to cheer Drew right up. If you really want to cheer him up how about suggesting that he go to Darfur?
  4. Christ Mary, let the man have some fun. He could take you and Jeff sailing in the Caribbean or skiing in St. Moritz. It would be better than you and Jeff's usual dates. Watching paint dry would be more exciting than one of your dates. Probably did the watching paint dry thing on the third or fourth date.
  5. Browbeating someone to serve others really motivates that spirit of altruism.
  6. Mary let Dr. Jeff go back to Peace Village and continue his work. This is Jeff's calling not Drew's and no amount of meddling will change that. If you really love Jeff you would support him in his pursuing his calling.
  7. Drew may find his own calling - rescuing his father from the clutches of evil

This illustrates what I enjoy about Mary Worth - she has this facade of sweetness and good intentions but deeper analysis reveals something a bit more sinister. Reminds me that the devil does not wear horns or Prada.

Sort of reminds me of an influential member of my church but quite capable of expressing real love unlike Mary Worth. They possess a strong desire for things to remain as they are even if it is detrimental to the church as a whole. I've attempted to voice my concern about this once. A small number of people have alluded to it but I don't know if it is just me and a couple of people or if a larger group has concerns. I wonder if anyone has really put it together. I understand this person's desire to keep their beloved community and not have anything negative breach that community but there is a reality and other people. I guess that is where the community comes in - minister to this person, acknowledge fears and concerns and prove that the changes will make the beloved community stronger, safer and more inclusive. How to even begin that process? I don't know.

Funny, I wonder if anyone in the church views me as a barrier like a I view this member?

I would rather receive the picture. Mom has no appreciation for fine art.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Meditating while wearing a hawaiian shirt

I have meditated while wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses but never with headphones. I've never worn shorts because I generally don't wear shorts outside of exercise. Brother Dave has the right idea - he's wearing the sandals, why not complete the ensemble?

Discovered that I've made over 1,300 posts. Maybe I need to get a life.

Added a Spark People logo to the right side bar. I don't follow the diet plan but I use the fitness and food trackers. The food tracker has been quite illuminating. I've become more mindful about my portions and what I choose to eat. I started tracking sodium because I've noticed a lot of my food has quite a bit of sodium in it or at least I think the sodium content seems rather high. I've avoided purchasing certain foods because of the sodium content. I don't have blood pressure problems (104/51) but I want to keep an eye on things in case I really am taking in too much sodium.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Exercise Log

Did not update cartoons because of thunderstorms over the past two days.

This week I ran, rowed and cycled 22.68 miles, burned 1389.2 calories and weigh 169.7 pounds. Tracking my food on Spark People has really helped me become more mindful of what I eat.

Monday: Bike - 3.01 miles in 15:00
Tuesday: Run - 3.27 miles in 35:00
Wednesday: Row - 1.29 miles in 10:00
Friday: Bike - 3.92 miles in 20:00
Saturday: Row - 3.17 miles in 25:00, Bike - 5.72 miles in 30:00, Run - 2.30 miles in 30:00
On the run I started at my planned speed but then I felt a sharp pain on the inside of my left knee so I slowed down until the pain went away. I then slowly worked my way up to speed and the pain did not return. I stretched a bit too far on Friday and that hurt my knee a bit. I needed more recovery time.

Next week's plan:
Monday - row and strength training
Tuesday - 30 minute run
Wednesday - bike and strength training
Thursday - celebrating my birthday - try to see Spirit of the Marathon
Friday - 30 minute run
Sunday - Armadillo Dash Half Marathon

Friday, February 15, 2008

She's back!

Mary Worth finally appears in her own comic strip! She has returned with exclamation points!

A fun party game - read dialogue from Mary Worth as punctuated. Does anyone in Santa Royale use a period?

Drew would have more success with the ladies if he dumped the mom pants and moved into his own place.

I haven't celebrated my birthday and as far as I know the sun is still intact (cloudy here in College Station). One person called it correctly. Congratulations!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The whale in the parking lot

A chalk outline of a whale drawn on the parking lot behind the building where I work. Somebody from physical plant tried to erase it but they stopped when told that the drawing is for a class. I think it is a blue whale. The whale drawing appears every spring semester. The rain will wash it away but it not only gives the students taking the class a sense of scale of a whale but others who walk in that parking lot also learn something.

It's only a model

Mary Worthless Mary Worth - Day 32

Joe Giella's wacky sense of continuity and perspective has returned or Drew kneels before the glowing city of Santa Royale.

To Santa Royale: TURN OFF SOME DAMN LIGHTS! No wonder the astronomy department at the local university has not made any discoveries.

No Drew, you can't find peace because of the deafening sound of all the halogen lights humming.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A full month of Mary Worthlessness

Day 31 - one full month of Mary Worthless Mary Worth. Drew, use caution when pressing your hand into your face. You're distorting your face.

How to make the Vera hallucinations stop? Drew, you could make it to Nevada in about 8 hours and enjoy the services provided by one of the legal brothels. It may not heal the heartache but it will provide a distraction for you and the readers. Badly drawn sex has to be more interesting than this plot. Or move this thing indoors so that readers can at least look at some shifting backgrounds.

Come on, Mary Lou, quickly straighten out one leg and your problems will disappear.

The sun shining through my window and brightening my office prevents me from getting too depressed about the fact that I have brain space devoted to the names of Sonya Hobbes' children. Oh, god, I know Momma's full name!

Cats dominated today's comics (excluding the cat-oriented strips, 9 comics featured cats). Two dealt with using cats as tools.

I have lots of recipes from SparkPeople in my e-mail archives that I have not tried. One could probably fit the complete works of Shakespeare in that amount of space.

Went to the dentist today. Got a clean bill of dental health. My blood pressure is 104/51 and pulse 54. Apparently, my dentist has hired someone to converse with while poking around in my mouth. Nothing like inane conversation to make the dental experience more pleasant.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Day 30 - Still no Mary Worth

Will Drew park the car, get out and jump or will he hit the accelerator? More likely just sit and stare while the car radio plays some song from the 1980's station. Depending on the song this could take 10 to 30 days. Several days of Drew's thoughts and lyrics from some song. My nipples are erect in anticipation.

Disturbing, very disturbing.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Day 29 - Guard Rails

I don't get the joke and Glinda the good witch did not have green skin or wear black. Details people, pay attention to the details.

Since the Kelrast crash, the city of Santa Royale has installed guard rails. Good for them.

We all need to get away.

Three more exclamation points for Drew.

Remember, boys and girls, Drew is a comic strip character, driving while upset is dangerous in reality.


The process of writing down feelings can be useful in ferreting out what really is wrong. I spent 20 minutes typing about some work issues. The whole thing boils down to uncertainty and being ignored. I just deleted all the details but the writing process helped clarify things. Still uncertain as to whether or not to approach my supervisor about these things. Some acknowledgement would help but I don't feel it appropriate for me to seek it.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Day 28 - Drew's rebutall!!!

Drew responds with three exclamation points. The meeting is winding down. Will Mary Worth appear soon?

This conversation has gone on so long that the proprietor of the Junction Cafe reupholstered the the chairs and altered the table tops. 27 days of battleship gray and now we have magenta and pink. Vera has also changed her overcoat and purse.

Two bonus avatars from today's strip:

It's your screwed up eye, Vera.
For fun, I timed myself running a single mile without using a treadmill. Just the road, a GPS and my legs determining my speed. I ran a mile in 9:48.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Exercise Log

This week I ran, biked and rowed 20.62 miles, burned 1542.9 calories and weigh 171.1 pounds.

Monday: rowed 1.34 miles in 10:00
Tuesday: ran 3.32 miles in 35:00
Wednesday: biked 3.10 in 15:00
Friday: ran 1.33 miles in 20:00
Saturday: rowed 3.18 miles in 25:00, biked 5.75 miles in 30:00 and ran 2.60 miles in 30:00

Next week's plan:
Monday: Cycling and weight training
Tuesday: 30 minute run
Wednesday: Rowing and weight training
Friday: Cycling and weight training
Saturday: rowing, cycling and running 25 minutes each

Skipping Thursday for Valentine's Day.

I plan to run in the Armadillo Dash, a local half marathon, on February 24th.

I hope we can still be friends!

27 days and Vera finally says it. She says it with an exclamation point. Drew you should have known that the only things that this cafe offers are government office decor, shifting backgrounds, huge cups of coffee, giant floating donuts, a sea of slightly more interesting people coming in and out and heartbreak. Wow, that's more than what my local Starbuck's offers.

Does Karen Moy let it stop here or do we get a rebuttal from Drew? At this point I want to read Drew's rebuttal. We've been taken this far why not go a bit longer?

Friday, February 08, 2008

Day 26

Mary Worthless Mary Worth: Day 26.

In Santa Royale, battleship gray is the new black. After 26 days Drew and Vera could at least order some food.

Vera does have two hours to kill before Ryan comes back so she starts a new topic. This could go on another 26 days.

I've added a poll to the right side bar.

What will happen first?

  • My 39th birthday (Feb. 21)
  • Mary Worth reappearing in her comic
  • The sun going nova
  • A definite Democratic Party nominee

Vote often, early and do not worry about the super delegates.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Day 25

Mary Worthless Mary Worth: Day 25.

This conversation has become so boring that I didn't bother to upload today's Mary Worth. How much longer can this go on?

I'm contemplating changing the update schedule for my comic to seven days a week, at least for the duration of the You've Been Warned project. I have a decent backlog at this point but I will burn through that since I draw comics 5 days a week. I could try drawing 7 days a week. Maybe work on You've Been Warned for 5 days and other gags on the other 2 days. Maybe just draw 6 days a week and hope the backlog holds. I need to take one day to rest.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Political ramblings after comics

Mary Worthless Mary Worth: Day 24. Who knew a kiss could mean so much? Why does every woman in Santa Royale have blonde hair? The woman that suddenly appears in panel two is a vampire. That is why she can move so quickly.

This gag first appeared in Ben Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanack.


I will be voting in the Democratic primary. Texans can vote in either primary regardless of party affliation but can't vote in both. I might go to the precinct meeting after the polls close (sort of a caucus - Texas is a hybrid primary/ caucus state). The last one I went to was in 1988 to support Pat Robertson. I was 19. Call it a youthful indiscretion.

From what I observed from that experience in 1988 the candidate with the best organization (people with knowledge of the rules) will have the most impact at these meetings. I don't know the rules or fully understand how these meetings operate but I should go to at least try to have my voice heard.

In 1988, a lone Bush supporter used a procedural tactic to shut out the Robertson supporters. All the delegates from that precinct went to Bush. More Robertson supporters attended the meeting but none of us knew how to work this thing. All that we were told is that this meeting was important and that we should go. We were all enthusiastic, passionate and inspired but very niave.

A week after the precinct meeting a guy walked up to me in the library. He attended that meeting and his mother was the knowledgable Bush supporter. He apologized to me for how his mother behaved and felt that the tactic his mother used was quite underhanded. He was also 19. I think he may have been hurt more than I was. I got over the incident and ended up voting for Bush in the general election.

By the time the primaries happen in Texas, I will have just celebrated my 39th birthday. Texas will be critical in determining who will get the nomination. I don't want Clinton to have it. Some reasons ideological but mostly for emotional reasons. I would like to participate in a general election at least once in my lifetime and not see the Bush or Clinton name on the ballot. I would like my nephew to continue his recently started adult life without a Clinton or Bush in the White House. I still want to live in this country regardless of whoever is elected and I can live with an Obama presidency more than a Clinton presidency. If Obama turns out to be an ineffective president at least he will speak to my higher ideals instead of my base fears. The republic had survived ineffective presidents, I can survive an ineffective president.

The precinct meeting; I've never attended a Democratic one. I worry about a repeat of 1988 happening across the state. I should learn the procedures as fast as I can and hope that I can make a difference.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I'm the one with the kite.

At its best a comic can convey in a single panel more spiritual truth, meaning and insight than the most eloquent sermon or hours of meditation.

I cannot describe the essence of my life in words but this Hagar the Horrible comes close. Charging toward a mission that I did not have much of a voice in deciding, forces trying to push me back and still making time to play.

Mary Worthless Mary Worth: Day 23.

People who have lost loved ones have achieved "closure" faster than this. The intelligence gathering community should add Mary Worth to its list of enhanced interogation techniques.

I do admire the residents of Santa Royale's ability to hold coherent conversations and live fairly normal lives despite the constantly changing environment.

I won't waste anymore time thinking about whether I put the apostrophe in the right place in the above sentence.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Koala Balls

I so want this to end in a bloody peeler massacre. That would lift my spirits. Several pools of blood to add color to a gray day. Maybe it's hormonal but the last panel fills me with rage. The undrawn 6th panel contains the words: try pulling your head out of your very large ass and looking in the fucking drawer where we keep the utensils, you small dicked destroyer of the English language!

Mary Worthless Mary Worth: Day 22. The meeting set up took 3 days and this conversation has been happening over the course of 19 days. 19 days! I would walk into a wall or stare catatonically at window framing like the background people in panel two if I had to endure this conversation for 19 days. I did endure this conversation for 19 days but unlike the background people I can leave. And the walls in my world usually stay put.

A Plugger of indeterminate gender. I can get two cups from one bag.

For someone who was heavily recruited in high school and given a full basketball scholarship at Havens University, Dave sure is a lousy basketball player. I wonder if that causes a bit of resentment among the members of the student body who are more well rounded basketball players and were not given scholarships or a spot on the team? I like Bill Holbrook's comics but there is no way that a player with all of Dave's liabilities (several have been pointed out in the course of the comic) could ever make it on to a collegiate basketball team much less receive any kind of scholarship support in the real world.

Secret Asian Man is a fairly new comic that I've been reading for a few months. I like the art but the writing leaves me a bit lukewarm. The central theme so far is, being Asian in America is tough. I'm not denying that Asian people face difficulties but this guy has shot the horse, beaten the dead horse, resurrected the horse with arcane magic and is beating it to death again. The above comic is a rare departure from the being Asian in America is tough theme. What I found amusing is that a such a wonderful store would carry a product called Koala Balls. What locale produces Koala Balls? How does one ship Koala Balls without using a lot of energy? What are the opinions of the now ball-less Koalas regarding the business practices of Organicopia? Did these balls come from free-range Koalas or factory farmed Koalas?

Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 10 year old child.