Up all night

Recommended reading:

A CLOSED LETTER TO MYSELF ABOUT THIEVERY, HECKLING AND RAPE JOKES

As usual I was awake for several hours in the middle of night. Thoughts were floating around in my head. Some of the thoughts were about comedy and being a comedian - hence the recommended reading. Might make me be a better comedy writer, certainly a better audience member.

I tried something novel, instead of tossing and turning and kicking Walter, I wrote. Cradled a flashlight on my chest (Tits, what can't they do?) and wrote stuff down. I haven't seen what I wrote in the light of day and you  will probably not see it either except in its refined form or as a cartoon.

I am not a comedian, been a wanna be comedian for 30 years but not taken any steps toward that goal. I try to play with my desire to be funny through cartoons, sometimes through twitter. But thoughts of doing comedy keep me up in the small hours of the morning at least once a week. 

I can at least write and maybe that will make you laugh. Easier to deal with hecklers.

Don't be a heckler. If you want to be in the show, then get your ass on stage.

The Idea of Things

I enjoy the blog, Stuff White People Like. I contemplated writing blog entries on the theme of Stuff White People Don't Like. I did not get much further than white people and being accused of racism. I realized that the whole thing was a shameless ploy to exploit the popularity of a better written blog to boost my own readership. I also risked instead of tens of people being exposed to my drivel, hundreds, possibly thousands people would read my blog and post comments about how my blog sucks.

Yes, I am aware of my weaknesses when it comes to writing. That knowledge leads to a bit of a conundrum for me. According to this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2000/01/18/MN73840.DTL most incompetent people do not know that they are incompetent. Since, I know, does that make me competent?

Back to liked stuff. I decided to be a bit more self-centered and focus on Stuff Linda Likes. I discovered I like the idea of things more than things themselves.

I like the idea of the following things:

1. Gardening. Mainly the growing food type of gardening. I have taken a small step toward implementing the idea, I bought a pepper and zucchini squash plant. They are sitting on the kitchen windowsill in their original pots. I bought them last Sunday and have watered them twice. Maybe this weekend I will plant them.
2. Composting. I'm afraid the dog will eat most of the materials.
3. Cooking. I have hundreds of recipes in my e-mail archives. I've cooked from a recipe 3 times in 2007. I'm responsible for Bertolli's (or the parent company's) rise in sales this year. I'm interested in cooking for health's sake and pre-packaged food has a lot of sodium.
4. Writing and directing videos. One of the ideas is to actually cook the recipes from my 1971 Betty Crocker recipe library and film the results and reactions.
5. Performing in front of a live audience.
6. Visiting India.
7. Free running.
8. Participating in Roller Derby. I have an aversion to pain.
9. Do it yourself home improvement projects. I bought books. Walter finished the current porch expansion and wants to continue in smaller increments. Maybe this success will propel us into interior projects.

This list, except for number 8, could serve as a set of goals to work toward in 2008 and beyond.

The first day of Spring, hooray!

Bonus icon:
The indifference of Mary Worth

Asking the right questions can also make most religions seem ridiculous. Fortunately, in the United States a boycott or a loud protest is the worst thing that can happen. Other places and times, death.

Yeah, yeah, blah blah, blahdeblah blah blah. Vera really starts at the bottom by taking a job that no longer exists. Mary Worth does not care she just wants your soul. Mary plucks the world's tiniest violin.

The first day of spring and I see this. Tom Wilson owes me something for disturbing me on the first day of spring. Ziggy does not wear pants and now he's modest? I wonder if this is before or after Ziggy has taken of business? The more I think about this comic the more disturbed I become.

I spend a great of time going over these entries to eliminate instances of passive voice. I do it for most of my writing. I do this to avoid the disapproval of an English teacher I had not seen in nearly 20 years. I doubt she reads this. I wonder if any of Ms. Kessler's other former students do this or am I just nuts?

Ms. Kessler taught junior and senior English at Spring High School in Spring, Texas.