50 ways to leave your lover

According to Paul Simon, there are 50 ways to leave your lover and it looks like we will see all 50 in Mary Worth. In panel one is Mary using the throw pillow as a shield? Three days since Mary asked Jeff to leave. I thought my family had long goodbyes. Sheesh.

Since Jeff has not left yet, today's Kelrast rating is a 3.

Sonja should be grateful that the law prevents her children from simply killing her.
Last night, I attended my final meeting as a board member. June 1, I become a common member. All my Thursday nights will be free.

I received an earnings statement from my new title. I talked to Walter about the possibility of sharing the difference between my last check and the first check under the new title with the church in celebration. Our church has started a tradition of celebrating birthdays and anniversaries with donations to the church. Two weeks ago, Walter and I gave a check for 14 dollars in celebration of our anniversary. We hope the checks will get bigger in the future. The synagogue from which this idea was taken also celebrate other occasions with donations - occasions such as receiving tenure. This is a big deal in a community with a big ass state university and the UU church has its share of academics. I wanted to make a donation in honor of my title change (not tenure - I'm not faculty) hoping others would follow. I've not told anyone of this idea besides Walter and you folks reading this blog. I received the new earnings statement and the difference is quite large. This is causing me to question my original idea. I'm grateful for the raise and new title and feel a certain amount of pressure to live up to it. It is easy to be generous in theory but practice is causing some anxiety. There are questions about class issues, sensitivity to people in less certain economic situations, and my motives. We are a generous congregation, is it really my place to spur more? I could just state that this is a donation in celebration of a job title I've wanted for a long time and not say anything else. I miss the book of joys and sorrows because some things are worth celebrating but not stating.

I will give but the how (public or private) and how much I will work out later.

Meddling as a spiritual practice

Karen Moy strings us along. Will this take a turn for the interesting or lame? Will Mary realize that she has more than a compulsion? She has an addiction since her need to meddle interferes with other parts of her life. What spiritual void is Mary trying to fill with her meddling?

I think Mary lacks a soul but she does not realize it. She goes through the motions of kindness, compassion and helpfulness to avoid the realization that her existence is hollow.

The Kelrast Scale remains at 0 since this plot could take a turn for the interesting.

Hagsville is full of mean and nasty people but green mean and nasty people. Mean people like clean water just as much as nice people. I like how Olive Oyl's attempted suicide is looked upon as pollution.

Oh no she didn't!

Charterstone should hire this guy for the next pool party.
Oh yes she did! Mary pulls out the "saved your life" card. Mary did not donate body parts or fluid, she got on an airplane and then made some phone calls. Mary don't know anything about saving a life.

Bonus deflected backhand in second panel. Haven't seen this much action in Mary Worth since Dawn slapped Drew.

Today's strip could be the start of an interesting plot. Nobody hears from Mary for weeks. Jeff figures out who the person that Mary kept referring to prior to her disappearance. He finds Rich Amalfi, who explains that his brother Ron has some serious mental issues which were made worse by caring for their mother and her death. Jeff and Rich track down Ron and find that he is holding Mary hostage and "caring for her". Jeff and Rich rescue Mary. Jeff says to Mary, "Now that's saving a life and the effort is worth at least one blow job, you meddling biddy!"

I've invented a scale to measure the difference between the potential interest in a Mary Worth plot and what Karen Moy actually delivers. In honor of Aldo Kelrast, I named the units Kelrasts. If Karen Moy does deliver something similar to what I've described above then the plot would be 0 Kelrasts. If she delivers a lame apology from Jeff and allows Mary to continue her meddling without consequences then the plot would rate 10 Kelrasts. The Kelrast scale can go into negative numbers, especially if the term, 'blow job' appears in a Mary Worth strip, regardless of context - fellatio or landscaping.

Summary of the Kelrast Scale: the lower the number, the more interesting the plot.