Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Mediocrity.

Some stuff has been buzzing around in my head and I need to get it out before it drives me crazy.

I think I've been going through a "third-life" crisis. I'm too young for a mid-life crisis. Crisis is too strong a word.

My, I hesitate to call it a career, is at a standstill. To me a career is something that is sought with more intention rather than wandered into. Also, I imagine a real career requires one to wear a blazer all the time. That is a by-product of my late 70's elementary school years. All the school material about careers included illustrations of smiling women wearing blazers and walking while projecting an air of self assurance. They were always carrying documents.

I could upgrade my wardrobe. At least I would look the part of an adult with a career.

I need to stop going back and reading what I wrote and criticizing it. That's why it takes so long for me to write a blog entry beyond running stats.

Mediocrity. I'm quite aware of my own mediocrity. I think I can do better but wonder if I really could. Is this really my best? Getting beyond this requires stepping out of a comfort zone. I know this. Easier said than done.

It would help if I were stepping toward something other than "not this." I have a greater idea of what I don't want rather than what I do. I can envision a certain lifestyle but have no clue as to how to get there.

I know I need to do something. What, I don't know. No use in stepping out aimlessly.

Life does not come with a route map. Maybe it is time for me to seriously map one out.

Disclaimer: Please do not take this entry as an opportunity to sell your self-help book, life-coaching services or your religion. I do need help and will consider serious offers but I prefer to find my own resources. I'm cheap, you have to work hard to convince me that your book, guide, services, etc. are a good investment of my dollars. I've seen lots of guides, books, tapes and CDs at garage sales. If this information was so valuable why let it go for 25 cents to $2.00? I would either keep it or give it to someone I care about.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Boy have I got a book about religion for you ;) Just kidding.

I have been in the same kind of funk you are in. At least the symptoms are the same.

Sitting at work where I am a rehab Assistant (glorified lifeguard and towel floder) at the tender age of 38 has me wondering is this it? I know what my passion is and what I enjoy doing, but can I get there from here. Sometimes I look back at the 25 year old me and I want to say, idiot, go to school already, but alas I am where I am.

I am at the same crossroads in a sense where I know I want and need help from this point but am having trouble finding in whom to trust. I am a believer in God, and I know that there is no reason I am alive today but by the grace of God, but even that does not help when I am not even at a crossroads but still trying to find a path.

Shall I be a chef? A webmaster? A photographer? An indian chief?

All of the above are my passions, my callings if you will, and all would make me happy, but at my age can i make the leap?

I don't know where I should be, but I know this aint it. I remember saying there is no way I can get there from here and I got a tape set from the library and the priest said and I kid you not "you can get there from here." Most of the tape set was boring and repitition but the first paragraph helped me so much.

The basic premise was we have choices. The guy didn't realize he could make choices, and the funk he was in was due to the idea that he thought he had to do what he was doing, when in reality he had a choice. Sounds simple but maybe that will help you?

(By the way your comic for today. I really want chili and tater tots is so dead on. Since I started to eat healthy all these old foods are calling out to me, like never before)

Toonhead said...

Thanks for the comments. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this. It is not too late to go to school if that is what it takes.