62 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Peach Escape

Peach Escape Recipe

1 Cup sliced peaches - frozen

1 Lemon, peeled

2 cups Swiss Chard

4 cups Spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

2 cups almond milk

1 tbsp Matcha Green Tea

1 tsp Stevia

355 calories, 58 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 34 grams protein,
23 grams fiber

61 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Peach Delight

Peach Delight Recipe

1 Cup sliced peaches - frozen

1 Lemon, peeled

2 cups Kale

4 cups Spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

2 cups almond milk

1 tbsp Matcha Green Tea

1/2 tsp Stevia

330 calories, 52 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 30 grams protein,
17 grams fiber

60 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Peach Blast

1 Cup sliced peaches - frozen

1 Lemon, peeled

6 cups Spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

2 cups almond milk

1 tsp Stevia

279 calories, 41 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 28 grams protein,
16 grams fiber

59 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Orange Whirl

1 Orange, peeled

1 Lemon, peeled

3 cups Romaine Lettuce

3 cups Spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

2 cups almond milk

265 calories, 38 grams carbs, 6 grams fat, 26 grams protein,
16 grams fiber

58 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Orange Sunrise

Orange Sunrise Recipe

1 Orange, peeled

1 Lemon, peeled

3 cups Romaine Lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

277 calories, 41 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 25 grams protein,
15 grams fiber

57 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Orange Dream

Orange Dream Recipe

1 Orange, peeled

1 Lemon, peeled

3 cups Spinach

3 cups Mixed Baby Greenes

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

335 calories, 42 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 24 grams protein,
17 grams fiber

56 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Sunrise

Nectarine Sunrise Recipe

1 nectarine (used 2 red plums)

1 Lemon, peeled

3 cups Romaine Lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

1 tbsp Stevia

298 calories, 43 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 22 grams protein,
14 grams fiber

55 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Escape

Nectarine Escape Recipe

1 nectarine (used 2 red plums)

1 Lemon, peeled

4 cups Spinach

2 cups Swiss Chard

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

1 tbsp Stevia

373 calories, 57 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 30
grams protein, 21 grams fiber

54 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Dream

Nectarine Dream Recipe

1 nectarine (used 2 red plums)

1 Lemon, peeled

3 cups Spinach

3 cup Mixed Greens

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

1 tbsp Stevia

326 calories, 41 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 24 grams protein,
16 grams fiber

53 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Delight

Nectarine Delight Recipe

1 nectarine (used 2 red plums)

1 Lemon, peeled

4 cups Spinach

2 cups Kale

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

1 tbsp Stevia

315 calories, 42 grams carbs, 10 grams fat, 28
grams protein

52 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Cranberry Escape

Nectarine Cranberry Escape Recipe

1 nectarine

1 cup cranberries

1 Lemon, peeled

4 cups Spinach

2 cups Chard

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

1 tbsp Stevia

386 calories, 67 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 30 grams protein,
25 grams fiber

Nectarine Cranberry Bliss

Nectarine Cranberry Bliss Recipe

½ cup nectarine

1 cup cranberries

1 Lemon, peeled

4 cups Romaine lettuce

2 cups Arugula

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

1 tbsp Stevia

329 calories, 49 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 23 grams protein,
19 grams fiber

50 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Cranberry Blast

Nectarine Cranberry Blast Recipe

½ cup nectarine

1 cup cranberries

1 Lemon, peeled

6 cups spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cups almond milk

315 calories, 48 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 25 grams protein,
18 grams fiber

49 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Breeze

Nectarine Breeze Recipe

1 nectarine

1 Lemon, peeled

2 cups Kale

4 cups Romaine Lettuce (not used in review)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

320 calories, 47 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 24 grams protein,
14 grams fiber

48 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Bliss

Nectarine Bliss Recipe

1 nectarine

1 Lemon, peeled

2 cups Arugula

4 cups Romaine Lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cups almond milk

324 calories, 45 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 24 grams protein,
14 grams fiber

47 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Nectarine Blast

Nectarine Blast Recipe

1 nectarine

1 Lemon, peeled

4 cups spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2.0 cup almond milk

302 calories, 42 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 24 grams protein,
14 grams fiber

46 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Grapefruit Glee

Grapefruit Glee Recipe

1 medium grapefruit, peeled

1 Lemon, peeled

2 cups chard

4 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

375 calories, 61 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 30 grams protein,
23 grams fiber

45 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Mixed Berry Whirl

Mixed Berry Whirl Recipe

1 cup mixed berries

1 Lemon, peeled

3 cups spinach

3 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

314 calories, 47 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 25 grams protein,
17 grams fiber

44 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies : Mixed Berry Breeze

Mixed Berry Breeze Recipe

1 cup mixed berries

1 Lemon, peeled

2 cups kale

4 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

374 calories, 60 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 28 grams protein,
21 grams fiber

43 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Grapefruit Bliss

Grapefruit Bliss Recipe

1 medium grapefruit, peeled

1 Lemon, peeled

1 cup arugula

2 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

2 cup almond milk



309 calories, 45 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 23 grams protein, 15 grams fiber

42 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Sunrise

Cranberry Sunrise Recipe

1.5 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon

3 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

289 calories, 44 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 22 grams protein,
19 grams fiber

41 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Strawberry Magic

Cranberry Strawberry Magic Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon

1 cup Strawberries

2 cups arugula

2 cup spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

319 calories, 52 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 23 grams protein,
19 grams fiber

40 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Strawberry Delight

Cranberry Strawberry Delight Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon

1 cup Strawberries

2 cups Kale

1 cup spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

375 calories, 64 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 26 grams protein,
23 grams fiber

39 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Strawberry Blast

Cranberry Strawberry Blast Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon

1 cup Strawberries

3 cups spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

316 calories, 52 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 23 grams protein,
19 grams fiber

38 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Peach Whirl

Cranberry Peach Whirl Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled (I forgot to add it for this one)

1 cup sliced peaches

3 cups spinach

2 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

335 calories, 48 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 23 grams protein,
15 grams fiber

37 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Peach Sunrise with a Pitbull &...

Cranberry Peach Sunrise Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

1/2 cup sliced peaches

3 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

310 calories, 49 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 21 grams protein,
16 grams fiber

36 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Peach Glee

Cranberry Peach Glee Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

1/2 cup sliced peaches

1 cup Swiss Chard

2 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

335 calories, 54 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 24 grams protein,
20 grams fiber

35 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Peach Dream

Cranberry Peach Dream Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

1/2 cup sliced peaches

1.5 cup spring mix greens

1.5 cups spinach lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

305 calories, 46 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 22 grams protein,
18 grams fiber

34 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Peach Bliss

Cranberry Peach Bliss Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

1 cup sliced peaches

1 cup arugula

2 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

386 calories, 60 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 36 grams protein,
17 grams fiber

33 of 99 Weight Loss Smoothies: Cranberry Orange Escape

Cranberry Orange Escape Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

1 medium orange peeled

2 cups chard

3 cups spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

441 calories, 70 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 44 grams protein,
24 grams fiber

32 of 99 Weight loss smoothies Cranberry Orange Dream with Singing Cocka...

Cranberry Orange Dream Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

1 medium orange peeled

2 cups mixed greens

2 cups spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

384 calories, 55 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 38 grams protein,
18 grams fiber

31 of 99 Weight loss smoothies Cranberry Orange Bliss

Cranberry Orange Bliss Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

1 medium orange peeled

1 cup arugula

2 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

390 calories, 57 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 37 grams protein,
17 grams fiber

30 of 99 Weight loss smoothies Cranberry Grapefruit Sunrise

Cranberry Grapefruit Sunrise Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

½ Grapefruit peeled

3 cups Romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

357 calories, 50 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 36 grams protein,
16 grams fiber

29 of 99 Weight loss smoothies Cranberry Grapefruit Escape

Cranberry Grapefruit Escape Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

½ Grapefruit peeled

1 cup swiss chard

2 cup spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

389 calories, 56 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 40 grams protein,
19 grams fiber

28 of 99 Weight loss smoothies: Cranberry Grapefruit Dream with Rocky th...

Cranberry Grapefruit Dream Recipe

1. Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

½ Grapefruit peeled

1 cup mixed greens

1 cup spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

357 calories, 48 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 36 grams protein,
15 grams fiber

27 of 99 Weight loss smoothies : Cranberry Grapefruit Breeze

Cranberry Grapefruit Breeze Recipe

1. Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

½ Grapefruit peeled

2 cups kale

2 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

421 calories, 63 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 40 grams protein,
20 grams fiber

Weight loss smoothies Cranberry Delight

Cranberry Delight Recipe

1.5 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

1 cups kale

2 cups spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1.5 cup almond milk

376 calories, 53 grams carbs, 9 grams fat, 39 grams protein,
18 grams fiber

https://support.google.com/youtube/?p=donate_FAQ

Cranberry Breeze

Cranberry Breeze Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1 Lemon – peeled

2 cups kale

4 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

369 calories, 53 grams carbs, 8 grams fat, 39 grams protein,
18 grams fiber

https://support.google.com/youtube/?p=donate_FAQ

Cranberry Blueberry Sunrise

Cranberry Blueberry Sunrise Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1/3 Cup Blueberries

1 Lemon - peeled

3 cups romaine lettuce

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

346 calories, 48 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 36 grams protein,
15 grams fiber

https://support.google.com/youtube/?p=donate_FAQ

Cranberry Blueberry Dream

Cranberry Blueberry Dream Recipe

1 Cup Cranberries

1/3 Cup Blueberries

1 Lemon - peeled

1 cup mixed greens

1 cup spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

304 calories, 39 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 36 grams protein,
13 grams fiber

Cranberry Blueberry Bliss

Cranberry Blueberry Bliss Smoothie

1 cup cranberries

1/3 cup blueberries

1 cup arugula

2 cups romaine lettuce

1 lemon peeled

1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop whey protein powder



338 Calories, 47 grams carbs, 7 grams fat, 36 grams protein, 14 grams fiber

Cherry Sunrise

Cherry Sunrise Recipe

1 cup cherries

3 cups romaine lettuce

1 peeled lemon

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 cup almond milk



364 calories; 53 grams of carbs; 7 grams of fat; 36 grams of protein; 12 grams of fiber

Cherry Escape

Cherry Escape Recipe
1 cup cherries
1 cup Swiss Chard
2 cups spinach
1 peeled lemon
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon matcha green tea
1 scoop whey protein powder
1 cup almond milk

386 calories, 58 grams of carbs, 7 grams of fat, 40 grams of protein, 16 grams of fiber

Cherry Cranberry Magic

Cherry Cranberry Magic recipe

1/2 cup cherries

1 cup cranberries

1 cup arugula

2 cups spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 cup almond milk



The original recipe calls for a peeled lemon but I forgot it and it didn't affect the taste.



This made two bowls which I garnished with fresh blueberries, pecans and on the second bowl, banana

Cherry Cranberry Glee

Cherry Cranberry Glee Recipe

1/2 cup cherries

1 cup cranberries

1 cup Swiss chard

2 cups romaine lettuce

1 peeled lemon

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop whey protein

1 cup almond milk

Cherry Cranberry Escape

Cherry Cranberry Escape recipe

1/2 cup pitted cherries

1 cup pitted cranberries

1 cup Swiss Chard

2 cups spinach

1 peeled lemon

1 scoop whey protein powder

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

Cherry Cranberry Bliss

Cherry Cranberry Bliss recipe

1/2 cup cherries

1 cup cranberries

1 peeled lemon

1 cup arugula

2 cups romaine

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop whey protein powder

1 cup almond milk

Cherry Cranberry Blast

Cherry Cranberry Blast recipe

1/2 cup cherries

1 cup cranberries

3 cups spinach

1 peeled lemon

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

1 scoop whey protein powder

Cherry Breeze

Cherry Breeze recipe



1 cup cherries

1 cup kale

2 cups romaine lettuce

1 peeled lemon (I forgot!)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop soy protein powder

1 cup almond milk



I forgot the lemon! It taste like unicorn spooge.

Blueberry Whirl

Blueberry Whirl recipe

3/4 cup blueberries

1.5 cup spinach

1.5 cup romaine lettuce

1 peeled lemon

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop soy protein powder

1 cup almond milk

Blueberry Sunrise

Blueberry Sunrise recipe

3/4 cup blueberries

3 cups romaine lettuce

1 medium peeled lemon

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop soy protein

1 cup almond milk

Cherry Cranberry Blast

Cherry Cranberry Blast recipe

1/2 cup pitted cherries

1 cup pitted cranberries

3 cups spinach

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 lemon

1 scoop soy protein powder

1 cup almond milk

Blueberry Raspberry Sunrise

Blueberry Raspberry Sunrise recipe

1/3 cup blueberries

3/4 cup raspberries

2 cups romaine lettuce

1 lemon peeled

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

'1 teaspoon matcha green tea powder

1 cup almond milk

1 scoop vanilla flavored soy protein

Blueberry Raspberry Magic

Blueberry Raspberry Magic recipe

1/3 cup blueberries

3/4 cup raspberries (Shouldn't it be Raspberry Blueberry Magic?)

1 cup arugula

2 cups spinach

1 lemon

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea powder

1 scoop soy protein

1 capsule Plexus ProBio5 (open capsule, pour contents into blender) - optional

1 cup almond milk

Blueberry Raspberry Delight

Blueberry Raspberry Delight recipe

1/3 cup blueberries

3/4 cup raspberries

1 cup kale

2 cups spinach

1 lemon

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea powder

1 scoop soy protein powder

1 emptied capsule Plexus ProBio5

1 packet stevia

1 cup almond milk



Plexus ProBio5 is optional but can be found here if you're interested:

http://shopmyplexus.com/lindacausey/products/nutrition/plexus-probio-5/index.html



If you're interested in the little dog, Bravo, contact me at toonrage@gmail.com

Blueberry Raspberry Breeze

Blueberry Raspberry Breeze recipe

1/3 cup Blueberries

3/4 cup Raspberries

1 cup kale

2 cups romaine lettuce

1 lemon peeled

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 scoop Soy Protein Powder



Put in blender, blend for 2 minutes or until there are no large chunks of fruit and greens.

Blueberry Raspberry Bliss

Recipe:

1/3 cup raspberries

3/4 cup blueberries

1 cup arugula

2 cups romaine

1 lemon peeled

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup almond milk

Blueberry Delight

Blueberry Bliss

Blackberry Glee

Blackberry Escape

Blackberry blast

Smoothie 13

Smoothie number 12

Smoothie number 12

Smoothie 11

Smoothie number 10

In lieu of a cartoon

Recommended reading: 4 Things Politicians Will Never Understand About Poor People

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-politicians-will-never-understand-about-poor-people/#ixzz2Wd4O7P2U

Yes, I have been behind in posting new cartoons. I am behind in writing, drawing, scanning, coloring and posting.

The above Cracked article has nothing to do with this post, it is a good article. It, along with the rest of Cracked, does play a tiny role in the reasons I am behind on my own content creation.

If procrastination were my full time occupation, I would have to find a way to put off doing the work.

Up all night

Recommended reading:

A CLOSED LETTER TO MYSELF ABOUT THIEVERY, HECKLING AND RAPE JOKES

As usual I was awake for several hours in the middle of night. Thoughts were floating around in my head. Some of the thoughts were about comedy and being a comedian - hence the recommended reading. Might make me be a better comedy writer, certainly a better audience member.

I tried something novel, instead of tossing and turning and kicking Walter, I wrote. Cradled a flashlight on my chest (Tits, what can't they do?) and wrote stuff down. I haven't seen what I wrote in the light of day and you  will probably not see it either except in its refined form or as a cartoon.

I am not a comedian, been a wanna be comedian for 30 years but not taken any steps toward that goal. I try to play with my desire to be funny through cartoons, sometimes through twitter. But thoughts of doing comedy keep me up in the small hours of the morning at least once a week. 

I can at least write and maybe that will make you laugh. Easier to deal with hecklers.

Don't be a heckler. If you want to be in the show, then get your ass on stage.

Exercise Stats

January 1 - 5, 2013
Walked, ran, biked and swam 36.06 miles
Walked 56,722 steps
Burned 2712 calories
Weigh 147.1 pounds

Loki walked 3.80 miles

This week's clip art preview:

OMG!

I haven't written anything in this blog in over a year. There is even a new interface.

I should get back into the habit of long form writing rather than tweets and Facebook statues.

At least there will be something for 2013.

Look, ugly shoes!

Open Letter

Dear lady at the gym,

I was not giving you the dirty looks because of your body shape. As a former not so lean person I applaud the fact that you are taking action regarding the size of your ass. It will be a long and fulfilling journey as you find yourself fitting into smaller clothes, the numbers on the scale moving downward, being able to do things you have never been able to do before and muscles appearing. Again, I salute you.

No, ma'am it was not your big fat ass causing the dirty looks. It was your rudeness. Your complete unawareness of how to behave in a communal setting. Your ability to make it to adulthood and to a point of having approximately $30 per month of extra income to spend on a Gold's Gym membership while failing to grasp the basics of sharing. Sharing, most of us got the hang of it by kindergarten. Somehow, you missed this.

You hogged two benches, four sets of dumbbells, and a barbell. 5, 7.5, 10, and 12.5 pound pairs of dumbbells and a 30 pound barbell. 100 pounds! Which is twice the amount of weight you probably want to lose. That amount of hoarding exceeded my pounds lost by 20.

I know the exercise book that you were reading from probably said something about not resting between sets, minimizing transition time between exercises but considering that you were 2 feet from the racks which hold the dumbbells, your transition time would have increased by 2 seconds - 3 tops. Consider it a bit of extra cardio. Hopefully, you will lose some of the fat that is blocking the part of your brain that considers that others could have used those other dumbbells while you were doing reps with a different set. Luckily, today was not as crowded and I and others did not have to wait for a set of dumbbells.

For the benefit of others reading this letter, no the woman was not so large that she had a gravitational pull. Nope, I saw her grab each of these sets of weights and stack them in an area she designated as hers. Sort like dogs urinating.

Gym etiquette: There is no "fixin' to use" in a communal setting. Nothing wrong with taking a minute of rest between sets with the same weights but hoarding is wrong.

The two benches, that you, rude lady, hogged, I wanted to use one of them. But thanks to you, I got a bit of extra cardio by walking to a free bench. That wouldn't have bothered me so much if either of the benches marking "your territory" was supporting any part of your body. Nope you chose to use one bench as a purse and book holder and the other to rest the 30 pound barbell against and place a set of dumbbells that you were not using upon. Oh, by the way, I managed to do 2 sets of one arm dumbbell rows and dumbbell dead-lifts, which included walks to and from the rack to get different weights, before you even lifted the 30 pound barbell for exercise. I hope nobody wanted to use that barbell.

You may not be aware of all the amenities that you get for $30/ month at Gold's. One of those includes a nice rubber floor upon which you can rest a purse, a book and 100 pounds of hoarded weights. It is a great floor. Over the years, I've placed towels, books, work out logs, cell phones, body parts and weights upon it without damage. Nobody has ever stepped on any of my stuff or dropped anything on it. Your purse and book are safe on the floor. If you need to read some fine print in the book, do what I do, bend at the hips and stretch the hamstrings. Everybody has tight hamstrings that could use a good stretch. The benches are great too, for supporting a body. The benches at Gold's are capable of supporting bodies much bigger than yours. Too bad, your rudeness prevented two benches from being put to the test.

Gold's also has fabulous racks. They are a handy resting place for dumbbells and barbells you are not using at the moment and there is always a set available for use when needed unless some ignorant hoarder screws up the informal system. I know that there is nothing in writing that says you can't hoard weights but I believe it is covered under the "be courteous to other members" rule. The same rule that keeps me from saying to you, "No, don't do this shit! It's rude! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Please don't get the wrong impression that my irritation at your rudeness was exacerbated by your apple-shaped, at higher risk for heart disease, fat ass. No, I would have been just as irritated by a skinny woman displaying the same behavior. I sincerely hope that you transform from a fat rude person to a skinny rude person. Your body transformation will take a long and dedicated effort and a lifetime commitment to maintain and I wish you all the luck in the world. On the other hand, changing your rude behavior only takes a minute of thinking about the other members of the gym or how you would feel if someone else behaved like you.

Next time, I will bring you to the attention of management and allow them the privilege of diplomatically training you on gym etiquette or decide whose $30/ month they lose.

Good luck on your efforts.

Clip art preview

A bit of clip art that I am working on. This week's theme is people. I'm trying a retro tiki sixties style. Pen and prismacolor pencils.

Lunch: April 27

Lunch today was an attempt at a variation of red beans and rice. Black beans and brown rice. Included some endamame, spinach, onion, bell pepper, and celery. Opted to go meatless. Had some chili powder in the mix but most of it boiled away.

Need to add spices later in the process because this was a bit bland.

Estimated nutritional content: 300 calories, 53 g carbohydrates, 3 g fat, 16 g protein, 13 g fiber, 205 mg sodium, 685 mg potassium 

Someday I will do some real cooking rather than simply boiling, stir frying or combining a random set of ingredients.

Lunch April 25

Today's lunch was whole wheat linguine with chicken, spinach, onion, mushroom, bell pepper, and Butoni marinara sauce. The chicken and pasta were the dominant flavors; the sauce was secondary. Only used a half cup. Tasted good with no side effects so far. The marinara was in the back of the fridge for a while and looked a bit questionable.

Estimated nutrition information: 457 calories, 56 g Carbs, 10 g fat, 40 g protein, 622 mg sodium, 1106 mg potassium.

Food Preparation Adventures

Today's homemade lunch was a salad. Salads are hard to mess up.

This is a spinach salad with tuna (Starkist tuna pack), grapes, pineapple, walnuts, celery, bell pepper, mandarin oranges, a dash of red pepper flakes and a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.

Didn't use salad dressing because each ingredient has enough flavoring on its own and the vinegar and flakes took the edge off the spinach. The dominant flavor was whatever was in that particular bite. I'm not a fan of salad dressings for salads with flavorful ingredients. Especially, ranch dressing. After all the stuff I put on this salad, topping it off with ranch dressing would have been like taking a giant shit on it. If I want ranch dressing, I'll drink it straight from the bottle.

I'm not a foodie but ranch dressing is wrong for most occasions. It drowns out all other flavors. It is salad dressing version of glitter. Glitter is the herpes of crafts.

Ranch dressing is appropriate for salads consisting of nothing but iceberg lettuce, a bit of red cabbage and some carrot shavings. This is not a salad but a dressing delivery system. It provides a good excuse for consuming a lot of ranch dressing without drinking straight from the bottle because either the bottle is unavailable or you're with people.

I also prepared my own yogurt - Dannon plain yogurt with frozen blackberries (thawed by lunch time). I wanted to cut down on my sugar intake and save some money.

Yes, there is two cups of spinach under all that.

The numbers for this lunch: 548 calories, 84 g carbs, 16 g fat, 40 g protein, 530 mg sodium, 1,576 mg potassium

Adventures in food preparation

This week I'm experimenting with making my lunches rather than using prepackaged food.

The first experiment is replicating the Simply Asia noodle bowls. The experiment is pictured below.

Did use one pre-made ingredient, pre-cooked chicken breast. Ingredients: 2 oz. of whole wheat linguine, 1 tbsp of low sodium soy sauce, one stalk of celery (chopped), 2 tbsp of chopped onion, 1/4 cup of chopped bell pepper, 1/4 cup of edamane (soy beans), 1 tsp of Tabasco, a pinch of red pepper flakes, 1 pre-cooked chicken breast (diced), 1 tbsp of almond butter. Stir-fried the vegetables in soy sauce & Tabasco while linguine was boiling. Heated up chicken. Drained noodles, stirred in almond butter, added vegetables and chicken. Stirred some more. Added a dash of red pepper flakes. Estimated nutrition content: Calories: 437, 36 g Protein, 13 g Fat, 51 g Carbohydrates, 727 mg Sodium, 489 mg Potassium

I didn't work off a written recipe, just threw together the ingredients.

Tabasco and soy sauce were the dominant flavors with a hint of celery. The noodles had an interesting texture. I thought it tasted as good as any of the pre-packaged meals with the added benefit of less sodium.

Cutting down on sodium was the main motivator for this experiment. I trade some time for expense. I enjoyed doing this.

Over two hours since eating this and have not suffered any ill effects.

Maybe I should get a parsley plant for the office to garnish these photos.

Lunch: April 15

Today's lunch: Zatarain's Jambalaya flavored with sausage.

Package versus reality.

Lunch: March 29

Simply Asia Sesame Teriyaki Noodle Bowl.
Package versus reality
Beginning to realize that this just upgraded ramen.

Today's lunch

Today lunch is a middle finger directed at the earth. A delicious, convenient 520 calorie middle finger.

Hopeless gardener

This is designed for children. If I cannot grow some food with this then I'm hopeless.

Belated lunch post

Zatarain's Red Beans & Rice with Sausage package:

Reality:

Trying Blogger for Android

Test post from phone.

Two Lunch Posts: Package vs. Reality

Lean Cuisine Mushroom Tortelloni. I think I ate this February 3.

From Drop Box

Reality has more peas.

From Drop Box

A lot more peas.

From Drop Box

Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers: Whiskey Steak. I ate this February 8th.

From Drop Box

I wonder if potatoes get as much subsidy as corn?

From Drop Box

If I wasn't so lazy I could probably prepare something better from scratch.

Today's Lunch: Package vs. Reality

Lean Cuisine Sweet & Spicy Ginger Chicken. It was quite good. I didn't taste any water chestnuts.

The package:

From Drop Box

Reality from roughly the same angle as the package:

From Drop Box

The reality from above:

From Drop Box

I like how these photos turned out. Used natural light.

Today's Lunch: Package vs. Reality

Today's Lunch: Central Market Pad Thai. Central Market is the HEB store brand of organic foods.

The package:

From Drop Box

Need to work on the glare on the package photos.

The reality:

From Drop Box

It's not you, the reality photo is a bit out of focus.

Bonus photo:

From Drop Box

This particular type Amy's Burrito is only available at HEB. Wal-Mart doesn't carry the yellow ones, just the red and green. Makes me wonder about grocery distribution agreements.

Today's Lunch: Package vs. Reality

Lunch for 1/12/2011: Healthy Choice Portabella Marsala Pasta

The package:

The reality photographed from the approximate angle of the package. I don't keep a bottle of olive oil on my desk.

The reality photographed from above.

The general layout is similar but the noodles are different. Not bad for a microwave meal.

Today's Lunch: Package vs. Reality

Today's Lunch: Healthy Choice Lobster Cheese Ravioli.

The product on the package:

The product in reality after cooking:

To be fair, I should have photographed from the same angle but then the picture would be mostly black plastic container.

It tasted pretty much how it looks, not nasty but bland. It was a source of carbohydrates, protein and fat. I kind of feel sorry for the lobsters that were killed for this.

I also ate some yogurt and a pineapple product from Dole.

Atlas Shrugged

I could not finish Atlas Shrugged.

To rabid fans of Ayn Rand: I'm willing to admit that I'm too stupid to understand her brilliant ideas. Fine, an obnoxious Objectivist or two might think I'm ignorant. I can live with that. I think of it as an intellectual equivalent of an obese person criticizing my relatively slow running pace.

This cartoon sums up some of my feelings quite nicely.

I loved this comment about the above mentioned cartoon:

"Rand never gets credit for her single greatest accomplishment... giving assholes an intellectual framework for being assholes."

Now, what to do with my copy of Atlas Shrugged, which I bought at a garage sale for 50 cents? I've thought about this a lot. I don't want to destroy the book because I don't believe ideas should be destroyed regardless of how bad. So burning, dunking, shooting, drawing and quartering are out.

A list of uses for Atlas Shrugged (that retains the readability of the copy)

1. Obvious: door stop and paper weight

2. Violent: blunt object that inflicts pain but no real damage

3. Liberal repellent

4. Yoga prop

5. Exercise equipment

6. When all you need is an extra 3 inches to reach something

7. Bug killer

8. Flower press

9. Furniture leveler

10. Lumbar support (paperback version)

11. Pot holder

12. Action figure scenery

13. Hot Wheels track support

14. Animation

Feel free to add others in the comments. I might get around to re-enacting some of these in photos and drawings.

Herb and Jamaal

Herb and Jamaal free online comic strip library at comics.com

There is nothing else going on here.

There is nothing else going on here.

There is nothing else going on here.

Just two grown men being friends. Nothing to see here. Move along.

The hopeless gardner

To read stories of successful efforts as self-sufficiency and sustainability visit http://bigmyrtle.blogspot.com/. I admire what Mark and Shelley have done.

My efforts on the other hand have yielded a single onion. It provided some nice flavor to my morning egg. There is still hope for a cantaloupe. Three of the plants grew real well until a rain followed by heat killed them. The dog killed two when he thought my little garden would make a great place to dig and wallow. The lone onion survived this assault. Walter placed some sticks in the bed to deter the dog. It worked and I had onion to show for it. One melon plant is still growing and blooming. I cheer it on every time I take Loki out for a walk.

Harvested a pound of Muscatine grapes but those weren't grown through my own efforts. We have a wild grape vine that partially encircles our backyard. When we moved in the previous owner said that the vine wouldn't produce because it was missing a component. Apparently the vine found the needed part. I snacked on the grapes for about a week after a good washing. Some of the grapes were located within Loki's firing range. I liked the tart flavor of the grapes. Looked up some recipes but these called for more grapes than I had.

Found that gardening is not something to do casually. Takes more time than I'm willing to commit at this point. I like the idea more than the actual project. That last statement sums up most of my life.

When pros fail

Glad to see that even a professional can screw something up. Give Joe Giella points for trying. Where does Mary hide all that hair? I thought she had an Ann Richards style hairdo.

History & Quotes - Classic Quotes by Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988) US writer - ArcaMax Publishing

History & Quotes - Classic Quotes by Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988) US writer - ArcaMax Publishing

What is supposed to happen in a democracy is that each sovereign citizen will always vote in the public interest for the safety and welfare of all. But what does happen is that he votes his own self-interest as he sees it... which for the majority translates as 'Bread and Circuses'.

An armed society is a polite society.

Men rarely (if ever) dream up a God superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

History does not record anywhere a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.

Offensive speech, bad manners, and filthy toilets all seem to go together.

----------------------------------

I'll clean the bathrooms after I come home. At least scrub the toilets.

Photoshop boo boo

102 Series Leather Sectional Sofa | Modern Furniture Warehouse

It's 5:00 o'clock. I'm out of here. I'll finish removing the lamp tomorrow.

What?! You made it live!

How to recognize the signs of an imminent Mary Worth attack

How to recognize the signs of an imminent Mary Worth attack

Strange Brew

Strange Brew free online comic strip library at comics.com

Do they make salon hair dryers like that anymore?

Brevity, the soul of wit

Brevity free online comic strip library at comics.com

I tried to share this on Twitter but the Fail Whale kept appearing. All hail the Fail Whale!

Tiny Atlas Shrugged Production Finally Gets Started

Tiny Atlas Shrugged Production Finally Gets Started

Speech or no speech?

Momma free online comic strip library at comics.com

Momma free online comic strip library at comics.com

Momma tries her hand at political commentary. Time to place her in a home. She's wandering around and entering random people's homes.

I don't think I can do it.

I've completed 7 marathons, 5 half marathons and some shorter races but I cannot manage to finish reading "Atlas Shrugged"

I'm past the long John Galt speech. The only time I've yelled at a book character was while reading that speech. A guy blathers on for 3 hours and nobody thinks to cut the power.

I'm down to the last 300 or so pages. I've flipped ahead a few times. I know a bridge gets blown up, Cuffy Meigs and Dr. Statler die, Jim Taggart loses his mind, John Galt is tortured and rescued; and Hank, Francisco, Dagny, John, Ragnar and all the rest of the producers go to Galt's Gulch and live happily ever after doing their circle jerk while the rest of the world burns all around them blissfully unaware that unless they build a spaceship they too will get burned.

I could be mistaken about the above since I can only bring my self to skim at this point. Actually, I haven't picked up the book again since February, so my memory could be a bit sketchy.

In context of the BP oil gusher, I find my desire to finish decreasing ever more. I wonder in the context of this reality how any adult can take Objectivism seriously? Okay, Rand's dire vision is happening in North Korea but that is an aberration. Maybe Zimbabwe, too, with the white farmers.

Maybe I'm too old to read Atlas Shrugged. I tried to read The Fountainhead in high school but I couldn't stand it for very long. Enjoyed Anthem. Maybe "Objectivism/ Ayn Rand phase" should be incorporated into the American life cycle chart. An interesting question to study - why some people don't grow out of it?

I have a few of Rand's philosophical writings in my library. They are quaintly amusing. Stalinism sucked; thankfully no country has tried to fully implement Objectivism because that would suck just as hard. That won't happen because this world is populated by humans rather than the ideas with human-like characteristics that populate the world of Atlas Shrugged.

I should finish this book or at least get it off my nightstand. Maybe try composting it or using its pages to line the bird cage.

The idea for another project: documenting uses for a slightly worn copy of Atlas Shrugged.

Did learn that carrying a copy into a UU church will cause a greater reaction than carrying a Bible.