Why does morning have to happen so early? I never get enough sleep. All I need is one more lousy hour. That would be nice.

After coming home from a visit with the in-laws, I saw Rusty in the backyard and he looked shaved. Then I realized that I was hallucinating. What kind of weirdo would go into a stranger's backyard and shave their dog? I am that kind of weirdo. If I had the time and inclination that is the sort of crime spree I would go on.

Breaking into homes, putting up dishes, making beds, grooming animals, vacuuming rugs, mopping floors, put a six pack in the fridge and other household chores. I would leave evidence that the home had been broken into. I would get some satisfaction in messing with people's minds. They call the police to report the break in but nothing is missing and something got cleaned. On one hand they would feel violated but on the other they would be grateful for the household help.

If I was evil, I would break into a house and plant marijuana on the kid's clothes. Nobody is going to believe the kid when he/she says that they do not know how the drugs got there. "Yeah, right, somebody broke into the house and put this joint in the pocket of your jeans." That could really screw up a life.

Americans are already paranoid and easily spooked as it is. I don't need to add to it with any hijinks.

WASABI!