Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Walked 8,450 steps.

I enjoyed a day off yesterday but I was confronted with two mundane questions.

  1. Why don't the cash registers in newer stores have a quantity key? The lady ringing up my groceries yesterday must have felt silly scanning a Power Bar 14 times. I asked if she had a quantity key and she replied that her cash register did not have one. The cash registers at Super Wal-Mart do not have quantity keys either.
  2. What is the deal with the huge difference between formal and informal writing? Informal writing does not mean one throws out all rules regarding punctuation.

For your amusement - HATE MAIL

Exhibit 1

Subject Line: your comics

are horrible.

in a perfect world, your site wouldn't exist

FFF FF FFFF FF YOU'RE FIRED-Donald (Berticus) Trump

Clever - integrate the title into the hate mail. The existence of my site only proves that the world is a cruel place.

Exhibit 2
OH MY GOD YOU ARE NOT FUNNY! YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST BITCH EVER why dont you
just stop and delete the website, i wish i never saw this, i want my ten
minutes back, u arent funny, i didnt even laugh in my mind when i saw this,
not funnny, stop now, kill urslef, u suck, i want my ten minutes back....
and what the fuck is up with the nose things.. fuck u make me sick

Nope, you are not getting your ten minutes back. I've already used them. I had a great time with your ten minutes. One word: foreplay. I wonder did the ten minutes include the time spent in composing the above missive?

I also got some fan mail.

I appreciate everyone who cares enough to send me a note. Even the ones who hate my cartoons, at least I provoked something in you. I bet the outrages perpetrated by various levels of government do not stir you as much as my little one panel cartoons.

Buy gold. Don't run spell check when reprinting hate mail.

1 comment:

Rain said...

Awww, ain't that precious? And I wholeheartedly agree about the spell checking thing, I am not really very old, but I feel old sometimes.

I confess to not being able to stand internet lingo and really missing the proper use of punctuation and grammar.

Of course who am I to talk, I did not learn English until I was 15 and it shows, but still.

I think you are quite funny and very good at conveying irony and you do it from just everyday situations. The best humorists take life and get us to laugh at it.

Sure beats crying...