Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Join my army of hope starved sycophants

At age 14 I aspired to become a cult leader. Not a scary, Jim Jones sort of cult leader, but more of a Bajwan Shree Rajneesh (sp?) type. People give me money and stuff in exchange for a bit of happiness and hope. One avenue for achieving my ultimate objective - getting as much money as possible in exchange for as little work as possible.

Several factors redirected my aspirations:

  1. Lack of resources on how to become a cult leader. Nothing in the library at Spring High School or in the Harris County Public Library System. Too shy to ask the librarian. Allegedly, I checked out a book from my high school library on brain washing techniques and never returned it. I convinced the librarian someone else put my name on the check out card. I never dotted my i's with little hearts. That and I did not remember checking that book out or even seeing it on the shelves. The loss of that book did not become too much of a roadblock in my life.
  2. Very high scores on the introvert scale. Cults require people - lots of them.
  3. A lack of charisma, public speaking skills or the ability to exert a lot of control over my own life much less the lives of others.
  4. Can't fake it forever. Consequences of exposure too great.
  5. Lots of potential, not so much ambition.
  6. I actually care and have a conscience.
  7. Realized it was kind of a weird ambition and that I can affect the world in a positive way without minions. Minions would be nice once in a while. Maybe I can rent some.


Robin Edgar said...

I am not sure about how you go about doing it but it is now possible to recruit and display your "followers" on Blogger blogs.

Of course, for fairly obvious reasons, that's the last thing *I* want to do. :-)

Toonhead said...

I enabled that function for a while but did not garner any followers. It was too depressing seeing 0 followers, even after a plea. See, cult leader just was not right for me.

Robin Edgar said...

I would have been one of your loyal followers had I noticed that function enabled. Do you think that I should perhaps enable it on this brand-spanking new blog?