Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Sunday, October 31, 2004

This week I ran 34.62 miles, burned 3,966.1 calories and weigh 162.8 pounds.

At the pace I've been running lately, I'm on track for a less than 6 hour marathon. The next group training run is 19 miles. I had a bit of a break this past Saturday at 14 miles. Maybe the temperatures will be cool this Saturday. There are rumors that the temperature is going to drop on Tuesday.

If I was musically inclined I would make a techno dance song using the recorded political messages that I've been receiving on the answering machine.

Arlene Wohlgemuth is a tree killer. I would use her flyers to line Salvador's cage but I think her face would scare the feathers off of him. Besides, his poop is too good for her.

Salvador won't poop on the Bryan/ College Station Eagle but he will poop on the Thrifty Nickle, the Houston Chronicle and the Toledo Blade (we got the Blade as packing material). It might be interesting to see what other newspapers he will poop on.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Refocussed H. Michelangelo
Clarinets C. Godot
Peabody D. Governance
Plains H. Blackouts
Postmarking E. Office
Val Q. Overtly
Fluctuation M. Appraises
Curiously V. Dover
Passport M. Crematoriums


Friday, October 29, 2004

I walked 4,016 steps.

I'm having a difficult time with Half Moon Pose. Even against a wall I cannot make it happen. My back leg just does not want to leave the ground.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Stupefying R. Aeolus
Morns S. Scoffed
Arenas J. Padded
Endocrine O. Sentiment
Cosmetology R. Enos
Magyar B. Carpel
Shillelagh D. Ping
Arline P. Blankenship
Buzz B. Rebind
Xylophone T. Dares
Needled O. Appalachia
Emotional V. Facetted
Firmer M. Paydays
Circumnavigation F. Attendants
Mode F. Hearkened
Kooking V. Corkscrews
Macbeth G. Bertillon

I'm looking forward to November 3rd.

I walked 1,436 steps on Wednesday and 2,513 on Thursday.

I went to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour last night. I really needed the sleep.

My legs are still a bit sore. I built up some serious lactic acid. Tonight, I'll do some more weight lifting and yoga.

There are rumors flying around that autumn is going to arrive in Texas on Monday. That would be nice. I would like to experience it before winter.

Walter took some great pictures of the lunar eclipse.

I went to the office Halloween luncheon and I had a pretty good time. I did an artistic three dimensional place mat featuring an owl and full moon. It took about 35 minutes.

So far I've heard Thriller twice and Werewolves of London once. Those are the Halloween songs that every radio station has. God bless Internet radio.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

I walked 3,691 steps yesterday. I'm trying something new for my weight training days. My muscles are sore.

What is more irritating than DJs trying to be funny? Phone calls from the moronic listeners who think the DJs are funny.

You are not funny, your favorite DJ is not funny, you will never be funny and neither will your favorite DJ. The only thing that puts the DJ above you is the ability to ennunciate.

I don't care about you, your life, your children and why you like a song. Just make the damn request and then STFU.

If you get the urge to call your DJ to chat, take your hand and slap yourself across the face.

Songs that should never be played on the radio ever again:
Hotel California
Any song by John Mellencamp
Anything by Pink Floyd
Rocky Racoon
A Touch of Gray

Songs I never want to sing in church again:
Anything by Bob Dylan, The Grateful Dead, John Lennon and Peter, Paul and Mary. The 60's are over - move on.

Monday, October 25, 2004

I walked 4,736 steps.

I scanned some original art and Walter is going to put them in the eBay store. The proceeds from the sales will help pay for my marathon expenses. I've raised $2.00 so far. Oh boy!

Goofy spam names of the day:
Porridge B. Aviatrixes
Observation K. Ayala
Bulldozer I. Versus
Massage U. Nectarine
Dishwashers A. Moistening
Amoco S. Curfew
Godson S. Snots
Saddle C. Odessa
Foucault E. Offshoots

I'm tired of this campaign sh*t. Especially, the whiny *ss drivel from the left. I tend to lean toward the left politically but I don't get involved with local "progressive" politics because every time I've attended a "progressive" function every speaker has come across as a whiner. Whining about the conservative atmosphere, whining about the Republicans, whining about how they feel so isolated, whining about the lack of engagement from the downtrodden they are trying to help, whining, whining, whining. Nobody wants to be involved with a whiner and certainly not with a bunch of whiners. Just drink a nice bottle of STFU and get up and do something. Or just sit there and drink your STFU. Just STFU. At least the downtrodden could get a moments peace.

I just received an e-mail listing the military service of select Democrats and Republicans. It was disgusting. One could compile a list that favored either party by ignoring ones from the other party that did serve. Overall, the numbers of people that served in the military from both parties are probably about equal.

There are a lot of honorable and intelligent people that did not serve in the military or were in the military during peacetime.

Service in the military is NOT a prerequisite for political office. This is not Starship Troopers.

You wanna live forever!

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Yesterday I walked 5,546 steps.

This week I ran 35.15 miles, burned 4,107.3 calories and weigh 161.6 pounds.

Since the weather was so nasty outside, members of the marathon training group ran indoors. For people training for the Dallas Marathon the distance was 17 miles. Running 17 miles on a treadmill sucks. I did it anyway because I'm insane. Next week we get a break. The distance is 13 miles.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Livonia P. Betterment
Descriptive U. Lamenting
Alva C. Ho
Thankfulness U. Maraud
Severe L. Telugu
Manilas G. Plumpness
Carotids T. Saltpetre
Phototypesetting H. Hadrian
Amorous O. Marlboro
Bernie G. Butts

I don't want a Rolex.

Friday, October 22, 2004

I walked 2,058 steps yesterday.

I had a viable cartoon gag for the first time in two weeks. It is about flu vaccine and heroin.

Plan on visiting a haunted house tonight if the price of admission is reasonable. I'm not really into these things. I like the candy at Halloween.

I'm not giving candy out to children that do not bother to dress up. I know a lot of these kids are from "the projects" and their parents can't afford fancy costumes but I'm not asking for much. An old sheet, maybe some flour thrown on the face, torn up clothes, whatever. I'll reward any effort.

At work, I was given an orange piece of foam to decorate for Halloween. There will be a contest and since I'm an ARTIST, everyone expects me to have the best mat. They all assume that they do not have a chance against the ARTIST. The ARTIST has not started on her mat. Maybe I'll do something in the style of Jackson Pollock. If they want art, I'll give them art.

I get a bit uncomfortable when I'm referred to as an artist. I don't think of myself as one. I draw cartoons and clip art but that does not pay the bills. I think of it as a hobby gone mad.

A few paid opportunities have come my way. I need to respond to them. I feel uncomfortable naming a price. The e-mails sit and time passes while I'm not paying attention.

I need to sell some original cartoon art to pay for my Dallas Marathon entry. There is plenty of time during the day but lately I've had trouble "using my time wisely". Haven't used that phrase since high school.

I never got high marks in school in the "Uses time wisely" and "Accepts constructive criticism" categories. Always received "N" for Needs Improvement. I preferred to read and draw instead of doing math problems. I guess that counted as an unwise use of time. There were other things I would rather do than the activities designated for a certain time.

As for the ability to accept constructive criticism, that still needs improvement and if people don't appreciate that then they can go f*ck themselves!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I walked 1,381 steps. I also ran 8 miles in 1 hour and 48 minutes. Since I am a pint low and the heat index is 100 freaking degrees in October, I ran slower. I walked for 10 minutes just after the 4 and 1/2 mile mark.

The highs this week are in the mid 90's. In October. This is so wrong. I love Texas.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Hemangini Greuel
Diameter K. Satisfactorily
Prologue S. Tsimshian
Transportation M. Gratuitously
Scripture D. Breding
Venomous A. Cleave
Disorder Q. Emilia
Sheet M. Coptic
Mexico E. Conquistadors
Lesseps P. Zip
Sjaelland E. Biophysics
Denomination C. Frigidaire
Bankbooks S. Segre
Alumni C. Foster
Couplet T. Zionist
Acid I. Gabardine

If you don't like the weather in Texas, wait an hour.

Yesterday, I walked 1,107 steps.

I took a "mental health" day off. I hit the snooze four times as usual but after the last hit, I sat up and then fell over. I was too tired to go to work and my work is not that vital. Besides, I have some comp time about to expire.

I drew, did laundry, vacuumed the rug, rode a bike, gave blood, watched Star Trek, played computer games and updated my website. Hoo boy! I live life on the edge. Oh yeah, I got some sleep.

Why do I feel compelled to chronicle my life in a blog? You think reading about this is boring, you should try living it some time. I do this to keep my writing skills from deteriorating and I'm told that there is some therapeutic value to all this. It kind of makes me depressed. I should do something about it but I'm quite comfortable. I also read that this activity decreases the risk of Alzheimer's disease and just becoming mentally rusty. How can I enjoy old lady privileges if I'm senile? I look forward to verbalizing my thoughts without giving a damn about social conventions and without fear of physical retaliation.

I haven't written any jokes or gags in two weeks and it is has been difficult thinking up something funny to draw on the spot. In a couple of weeks my cartoons are going to suck more so than usual. I have some time set aside for writing gags but lately I've not taken advantage of it. I've been tired or something interesting is on TV. I'm sure there will be a pill for general malaise some day. Not that my health insurance plan would cover it.

Found out about a nice $100 once a year charge that went into effect on September 1. Walter gets to pay $125 for his migraine medicine instead of $25. I should really read the fine print during annual enrollment. Scary thing is that we are the lucky ones with relatively low costs on prescriptions. I can see why old people go to Mexico or Canada, don't take the full doses or other steps. We are going to turn to crime if prescriptions become unaffordable for us. I'm think with a little remodeling the bathroom off the master bedroom would make an excellent meth lab. It would be the most tastefully decorated meth lab in the county. Trading meth labs - I think there is a cartoon gag in this.

I think the solutions to the problems with healthcare, education and others lies in the imaginations of people too bright or too poor to run for office. An imaginative politician would be marked for death.

Violent overthrow of the government. If you want me, John Ashcroft, you know where to find me.

Monday, October 18, 2004

I walked 2,645 steps. I won an instant prize in the McDonald's Monopoly game. My meeting went well. I did not take the afternoon off because I got better. I'm going to bed. Enjoy the squirrel cartoon.

Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger!

On Friday I walked 6,109 steps.

My back is sore. I'm tired. I have a meeting tonight.

I went to bed at a decent hour last night. Walter made breakfast this morning. I don't know why I feel so tired. I need a vacation.

Maybe I'll take the afternoon off.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

I ran 34.32 miles, burned 3,954.9 calories and weigh 163.5 pounds.

I use broadband but the damn McDonald's Monopoly website still loads slowly. Bad design. Bad. Flash abusers.

Yesterday, went to a Ramadan dinner sponsored by the Interfaith Student Dialogue. It was enlightening.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Overgrowth L. Unseasonable
Liveliest U. Course
Speedometers B. Unknowingly
Tablespoon Q. Lao
Turnover U. Rubber
Ruckus I. Menstruates
Magnate C. Wintergreen
Militancy P. Pok
Logging D. Endearment
Demagogy B. Perfections
Cascades A. Kohlrabies
Ashanti U. Restudies
Divided R. Margarita
Eat C. Trolley
Shrew O. Rampages

I'm lovin' it!

Friday, October 15, 2004

The janitor with the chip on his shoulder says 'boo'.
Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

Yesterday, I walked 1,314 steps.

Daisy and I watched MXC while Walter was at a Jesus Seminar. He is learning so much about the gospels.

I feel so sleepy.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

I walked 1,615 steps. I ran 7 miles in 1 hour and 16 minutes.

I watched the final presidential debate. Senator Kerry lost me on Social Security. Of course, if the country is in the toilet, Social Security won't matter.

Personal retirement savings accounts are a great idea. We just have to come up with transitional money.

This one was pretty much a toss-up.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Xenobia Golden
Parboil K. Plugging
Physiologist U. Digitalizing
Goo Q. Engining


Tuesday, October 12, 2004

I walked 2,800 steps.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Inopportune C. Assumption
Mat M. Creams
Outrun K. Cholesterol
Conrad F. Herring
Unattached I. Necromancer

I exist.

Monday, October 11, 2004

I walked 3,314 steps.

I ate at a Chinese buffet. The food did not agree with me.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Kimberley C. Oxidizer
Knack C. Hollered
Anthem B. Pleader
Rubbers Q. Woodsman
Ability F. Bit
Representational Q. Amateurism
Kitchen A. Ironing

The line between my inner world and outer world is blurring.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

This week I ran 29.16 miles, burned 3,404 calories and weigh 162.5 pounds. That is the least I've weighed without being sick. Four pounds in a week does worry me a bit. I'll have to keep an eye on things. I hope I'm not getting sick. I could use the time off, though.

I had a tough time with the last mile of my 14 mile run today.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Hemstitches J. Bottoming
Grumbled C. Amuck
Actuate K. Own
Wheelbarrow H. Thoraxes
Unfortunately U. Purgative

I love being a Unitarian-Universalist. The UUA considers a young adult to be 19 - 35 years old. I wonder what happens when I turn 36.

Friday, October 08, 2004

I walked 5,111 steps. Yoga class was tough.

Tomorrow I run 14 miles.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Daring K. Shotgunning
Parsons O. Bewailing
Drake G. Interstice

Oh damn! I missed the debate. I'll have to watch the Daily Show.

I still think Dick Cheney would be better in bed than John Edwards.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

I walked 2,101 steps. I must be leaving chunks of flesh around somewhere because I'm really dropping some weight this week.

I'm working on the second culling of the cartoons. Walter has looked at the ones from the first cull and has chosen the better ones from that group. I have not looked at the results yet. This should be interesting.

Goofy spam names and Zen koans of the day:
Cannabises D. Grant
I left it all in flames, replied Michaud in a decided tone, but glancing...
Stroller G. Michel

Now I'm off for a little S and S.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

I walked 1,452 steps.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Espadrille H. Unobtrusive
Darkest S. Peddler
Astuteness P. Veneered
Definiteness H. Foils
Smithsonian L. Aeon
Weierstrass F. Hubby
Candidness A. Cuteness
Forgather H. Dish
Doses R. Pterodactyl
Porticos O. Incriminated
Clients H. Solace
Factoring T. Companionways
Exhilaration J. Anthropoid
Grandma U. Gullet
Shapeliness A. Abbreviates
Cheering D. Combinations
Trails C. Fiona
Amounts H. Receiving
Everyday B. Berries
Cosmology J. Booming
Transvaal R. Mir
Kristy Q. Premonitory
Countersinking C. Vulgarization
Enchanter K. Objective
Judgment O. Fishnet
Trademark I. Whirring

Hooray! My deleted items folder is now empty. Now to catch Reno 911 and the Daily Show.

I walked 2,940 steps yesterday.

I went to a meeting last night and did not have time to write an entry in the blog. I could have written one instead of playing Bejeweled for an hour but I just was not into writing. I did a minimal web site update.

The goofy spam name list is going to be really long.

I'm looking forward to the Daily Show analysis of the vice-presidential debate. John Edwards sure is a looker but Dick Cheney is better in the sack.

I wonder how many voters will be affected by the name Kerry Edwards. Is it the Democratic ticket, the girl you had a crush on in high school or the bitch that picked on you in junior high?

What is in a name?

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

I walked 3,815 steps yesterday. I was having trouble with Blogger last night.

Salvador was well behaved at church. He chirped through most of the service. He did keep quiet during the quiet parts of the service. He did not like the clapping too much. Most of the dogs were curious about the noise he was making.

All the animals got along. We had dogs, cats, a fish and a bird. It was a nice service.

The goofy spam names are at home. I have quite a long list. Hopefully, there won't be any problems with Blogger when I get home. I would like to clear out my deleted items folder.

For your amusement: The cartoonists takes actual spam subject lines and renders them as cartoons. It is so brilliant and funny that I wish I thought of it.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

This week I ran 29.15 miles, burned 3,326.1 calories and weigh 166.2 pounds.

I got the order of service copied for church tomorrow. Animals are going to be blessed. We are bringing Salvador but I'm still undecided about Daisy. She could certainly use some blessing. She could also use a bath and toenail clipping. Actually, today is the scheduled dog washing day. Unfortunately, the weather outside is a bit nasty. It looks like it is tub time. Oh joy.

Daisy has a super power. If she does not want to move she can double or more her weight. It is amazing.

A silent memorial for departed pets is also part of the service.

Salvador has developed an unusual attachment to the toaster. He attacked Walter when he attempted to toast some pop tarts.

One day we are going to leave the house and forget to put up Salvador and we will come home and find everything was stolen except the toaster. The house will be empty except for Salvador, the toaster and a large pool of blood.

Sal serenades the toaster. We have to keep a towel on top of the toaster because Sal will roost there. We keep the toaster unplugged when not in use for Sal's safety.

Salvador is such a silly bird.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Donned R. Mischiefed
Transvestism L. Disarmament
Boondoggling H. Condos
Tangiers L. Conscientiously
Defaces T. Niamey


Friday, October 01, 2004

I walked 6,204 steps. I played some Halo tonight. Killing is fun. Killing in a video game is very cathartic and fun.

Goofy spam names of the day:
Ernie O. Rumpled
Hyphenations U. Impinging
Ortensia Ruffing
Meritoriously T. Carnegie
Irruptions O. Abuser
Slider J. Backing
Calandra Bogus
Skyline V. Jeffry
Denominating G. Ats
Sacrilege A. Meteoric

Poo Gas!

I walked 2,811 steps yesterday, in addition to running over 4 miles.

I watched the debate last night. John Kerry won, in my opinion. He was more articulate and got his points across. That just means he is better at debate than George Bush.

The president had some pauses and stammers but that does not mean he is stupid as some on the left would paint him. He is not as good as John Kerry in that kind of event. If Kerry and Bush participated in a foot race, Bush would win; he is the better runner. If it was a bicycle race, Kerry would win; Kerry is the better cyclist.

Debate is just one of many skills needed to run the country. I'm not sure if it is the most important.

I wonder how Calvin Coolidge would fare in a modern presidential campaign?

There was one long pause that got the attention of the John Stewart of the Daily Show. It was a long pause that did not enhance Bush's perceived intelligence. A lot of people are not used to seeing someone pause, think then speak. I think it scares them.

I disagree with a number of Bush's policies and I think he is wrong about some things but I do not think he is stupid or evil. Actually, his cabinet and advisors concern me more. His style of public speaking has some similarities to my own. I would probably stammer and pause just as much if not more.

The funny thing is that the President possesses many strengths that would make him a great asset in an Unitarian-Universalist congregation or even as a minister in just about any religion. George W. Bush a great asset to our congregation!?! We can learn from George W. Bush and our congregations would benefit from having people like George W. Bush as members. That thought would horrify a lot of UUs and possibly get me excommunicated.

The crappy part about the first principle, the word every. F*ck*ng inconvenient. There are those that question 'every' but that is a UU hallmark. Sometimes I question the 'every' part of the first principle after listening to a pundit for about two minutes. Especially James Carville. James Carville, proof positive that even hideously ugly people can succeed, marry and even have sex with somewhat attractive people. That is good news for the one daughter that inherited his looks. This brings up the questions, can a person commit acts so horrible that they lose their inherent worth and dignity and who is qualified to judge? I'll ramble about that some other time.

Back to the topic, George W. Bush possesses some interpersonal skills that would be great on a membership committee or as a greeter. I've read and heard stories that when Bush is interacting with a person, he is very interested and focused on that person. He does not try to persuade or push an agenda, he listens and then acts if necessary. It is a skill that would make more visitors to our services stay and become members. To be fair, Bill Clinton also possesses similar people skills. People skills are yet another set of skills needed to run the country. How important, is up to debate.

I think that John Kerry has a greater balance of skills necessary to run the country. He may be be a *ssh*le (pure speculation - I have no evidence to support that assertion. I'm just trying to make a point about skill sets) in the personal skills department but I think he has other strengths that are more important in running a country. Besides, he has John Edwards to shore up those weaknesses. I'm more interested in removing Bush's cabinet and advisors, especially John Ashcroft.

If John Kerry makes the situation in Iraq or in the world worse, I will fully expect the members of my congregation to protest just as loudly as they do against George W. Bush. I will call them on it and if they pull "but this is different, he's a Democrat" sh*t, I'll ... honestly, I don't know what I would do. I've got too much invested in my church to resign over something as stupid as politics and the UU religious movement is too important to be impacted by political winds. Too many people need what we have to offer. No, it is not a refuge from the 'oppressive conservative atmosphere' of the greater community. God, I'm tired of hearing that sh*t. It is something more important, deeper and personal than that.

This Sunday, I'll try to be more like George W. Bush.