My truthful resume.
Objective: To get as much money as possible in exchange for as little effort possible.
Education: I got a degree but not the one you want. It has been over 10 years since I received this degree. Does it still matter?
Work experience:
I have done just about everything. Cleaning, yard work, cooking (the jobs Americans refuse to do - I'm an American and I have done them - I was paid minimum wage), day care worker, food delivery, painting, design, desktop publishing, sign installation, scene building, stage hand, retail clerk, photo lab work, office work, drawing, telemarketing, outside sales.
Skills:
Too many to list. Varying degrees of use.
References:
Hell no. I don't trust anyone to tell the truth about me. I can barely tell the truth about me.
Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.
Monday, May 08, 2006
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3 comments:
LOL...i'd like to see you put all that on a job application.
I'm tempted to put the objective statement on my resume to see if anyone really reads these things. I had to read a few resumes recently and the objective statements were quite amazing - 10 to 15 words producing no real meaning.
This is a GREAT post! I hope you not mind. I published an excerpt on the site and linked back to your own blog for people to read the full version. Thanks for your advice.
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