Drivel that cannot fit in a single panel comic.

Monday, April 30, 2007

102 Weird Facts You Never Knew About Dogs

#1 It is a myth that dogs are color blind. / #13 A dog's mouth exerts 150-200 pounds of pressure per square inch / #32 An estimated 1,000,000 dogs in the U.S. have been named as the primary beneficiaries in their owner's will / #40 Dogs have no sense of "time" / #70 The longer a dog's nose, the more effective it's internal cooling system



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Faux News

Does Fox News employ fact checkers? Reporting parody as real news.



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Pink, New Minister, Performance

Pink! Too much pink!

-----------------------------------
The congregation voted to call Rev. Eric Posa as our minister. The positive feelings and excitement surrounding that vote starkly contrasted the feelings four years ago. Walter took a great group photo of the congregation members who attended the congregational meeting. 73 people attended.

Signing the ministerial agreement is a great way to end my tenure as Board President. Rev. Posa's ministry will be a great way to start the new church year.

A congregant's hidden talent appeared and I will call upon her skills when presiding over the May congregational meeting.

The beauty of church community is that there is always someone with a strength that can compensate for a weakness.

-------------------------------------------
I have an idea for a performance - one person play type of thing. It has been bouncing around in my head since yesterday and is occupying a great deal of my thoughts right now. I have a slight headache because of it. Delusions that I can entertain a live audience for more than 5 minutes. I can see several bits of this thing very vividly. The thing is a monologue with props and slides. Has a touch of Bob Newhart stand up - where the audience only hears one side of a conversation. I need to write it down, develop it and maybe perform it at least once. If it fails miserably at least I will not have the regret of not trying. Title: Other People's Crap.

Some of the bits can work as comic strips - single and multiple panel but I think it would be funnier performed.

I have lots of visions but very little execution skills. I need to take a stab at this. For my own peace of mind.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Garage Sales

Walter and I hit the garage sales almost every Saturday. Seeing some of the items people attempted to sell prompted a few questions too rude to actually ask out loud.

To the woman selling the Baby Einstein videos and other educational videos: I want to see the child demonstrate some form of intelligence. Before investing 50 cents per video I would want the effectiveness of the videos demonstrated.

Kid, explain the Pythagorean Theorem.
What you don't know!
Ma'am, will you take 25 cents per video?

Forgetting my tied tubes for a moment, I believe my child would have an advantage over your Baby Einstein watching child because it would have two parents smart enough not to pay retail for Baby Einstein videos.

To everyone who tried to sell various ab exercisers: Show me your abs.

I witnessed a garage sale first - a person selling a fitness system who actually looked like they used it.

To the person selling the Carlton Sheets zero down payment real estate investing system videos: How much was the down payment on your house?

Weekly Running Log

This week I ran 14.66 miles, burned 1852.7 calories and weigh 173 pounds.

Monday: 3.32 miles in 35:00
Friday: 4.25 miles in 45:00
Saturday: 5.97 miles in 65:00

I went to a few meetings instead of running or weight training.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Tethering Isaac

Tethering Isaac worked. I let him off during lunch. I will let him off again when I get home. I prefer the tethering outside to keeping him in a kennel inside. His regular foster will come for him on Sunday. I hope he does not have to stay at adoptions on Saturday. I really dislike hauling the huge kennel.

Woodstock needs a fundraiser so that they can purchase a new kennel for huge dogs. The one that they have is very rickety and bent. If you want to send money to Woodstock visit http://www.woodstocktexas.org for details. They also need money for medical treatments and other things. Their website has a wish list.

56% Tortured Genius

You Are 56% Tortured Genius

You are very smart and a little bit tortured. Like a tortured genius in training.
You're brilliant enough to see how screwed up the world is. Just don't let it screw you up!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Dogs, dinner and ministry

I'm trying a two collar system with Isaac. If he somehow breaks through one collar he should remain attached to the other. There is lots of shade and water by the tree that he is attached to. I hope he calmed down and chose to rest under the shade of the tree. He was calm when I left. I hope he does not get too excited by the activity next door.

If Isaac does manage to break through both collars I think he will stay in the yard since he did not see me leave.

I did not want to leave him in the kennel this afternoon because the weather is gorgeous and I will attend a meeting immediately after work so I will be late. At least tethered to the tree he can interact with Loki and have a visually stimulating environment.

I need to find out if Isaac needs to attend adoptions.

After work, I will attend a question and answer session with Rev. Posa. Why is it called question and answer? I've never heard of a question session. All questions, no answers. Some would say that is a great UU slogan. I would say to them that your understanding of UU is a bit shallow.

Went to dinner last night with the Board and Eric. Discussed church issues and governance. Finally explained the players and their positions. The other Board members - the ones staying next year did most of the discussion and that was appropriate. My only issue, which I failed to communicate, is that the church has incredible potential but only a vague notion of how to unleash it. I believe the UU church can transform the Brazos Valley in a positive way. I'm interested in using technology as an aid to that transformation. Technology as part of the church's ministries. A part - not the whole. I want to focus my "ministry" to the church in updating, revamping and unleashing the church website as more than a mere informational tool next year.

I have a vision. I have lots of visions but have difficulty with implementation.

Learned last night that reasonably portioned meals are quite expensive. Missed the opportunity to test whether or not asparagus really does alter the smell of one's urine. I only had two stalks so that may not have been sufficient to test the theory. Sniffing my own urine was not a top priority last night.

Tonight, I will post, at the church, the list of church members eligible to vote at the upcoming meeting. We get to vote for our minister. We have 100 eligible voters and need 30 to show up to the meeting on Sunday. I'm sure at least 30 will show up for something this important.

Isaac


Today's icon: Vera surprise.

I spent my lunch hour yesterday tending to Isaac and Loki. Isaac spent the day in his kennel because he jumps over the fence.

I tried a harness attached to a line that is attached to a tree yesterday evening but either he or Loki chewed it and Isaac got loose. Fortunately, Isaac did not jump over the fence. I guess he decided to stay because he did not see us leave. Isaac stays in the yard as long as he does not see you leave.

Because of the lunch time fence jumping, I took Isaac to the office. He behaved well. Other than the fence jumping Isaac is a well-behaved dog.

I will spend my lunch hour the rest of the work week letting Isaac out to play and stretch his very long legs. I'm ahead on my cartoons so a few days without drawing will not throw off the schedule.

If you want a sweet, lovable, big dog check out Isaac at http://www.woodstocktexas.org Make sure you have at least a 6 foot fence or can take him outside periodically. Despite Isaac's size he is a great indoor dog.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Memories were made to fade

Memories were made to fade. They were designed that way.

Mary reveals how she can sleep at night despite her disastrous meddling. The memories of Aldo will fade. The memories of all those sick children in Vietnam deprived of a physician will fade. These things will no longer bother her because they were designed that way.

Does Karen Moy actually take money for writing this?

Toby, people can forget their past unless some busybody keeps bringing it up.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Thank you

Thank you to the woman who was a passenger in the car behind me for blowing soap bubbles out your window. The sight of the bubbles made me smile and gave me a small surge of joy. I needed it.

James O'Brien

I just received news of a student's death. He died of a heart attack on Wednesday, April 18. Student Life sent the notification today.

James O'Brien was not a typical college student. He was 70 years old. I think he was working on his 3rd degree. I had a class with him when I was an student in 1989 (Angling - it was a Phys. Ed. course). He stood out then because an older person who is a student stands out on a college campus. I remembered him when I saw him again when I started working in the department.

He retired from the military and spent his time learning. I recently saw him in the undergraduate adviser's office planning his next semester course schedule. He would take one or two courses at a time. He learned at his own pace but never stopped learning.

He often joked that it was appropriate that as the oldest undergraduate at Texas A&M that he should study in the oldest building at Texas A&M.

I think I saw him last on Monday or Tuesday. I don't quite remember. We just said hello to each other as I passed him the hallway on the way to some business that must of been important at the time.

In my memory, I can clearly see him sitting on the couch outside the student services door. He was reading something in a notebook. His legs were crossed and he was leaning a bit to the right. I remember his voice and him saying, "Hi, Linda, how are you doing." I said I was doing great.

I cannot remember why I went down the hall.

He was the only student, besides the student workers, that I have much interaction with. We would talk about all kinds of things - mostly non-academic stuff. The last long conversation was about unusual middle names and his troubles learning Latin and why he chose Latin as his language to study. Regarding Latin, he said he was too old to learn another alphabet on top of another language.

I am inspired by James' attitude and his love for learning. I will miss seeing him in the halls.

Softball and Church

The College of Agriculture and Life Sciences interdepartmental softball tournament has been cancelled because of the lack of teams. COALS has 15 departments aand the organizers of the tournament expected at least 25 teams. I guess the larger departments would field more than one team. 9 teams signed up.

Damn, there goes my opportunity to show off my non-skills and an excuse to purchase a glove.

The candidating week continues to go well. I'm making that assumption based on the lack of angry phone calls, irate e-mails and wrapped bricks through my window. Everything that I have heard so far has been positive and my own experiences have been positive. I found Rev. Posa's first sermon personally relevant. I enjoyed the social time and interactions so far and look forward to further opportunities to meet with Rev. Posa.

I would love to sign the ministerial agreement this Sunday.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Janeway! JANEWAY!?!

Janeway? JANEWAY!?! The correct answer is Picard. Even the Amish agree that Picard is the best Star Trek captain.

Janeway. Geez, it's any wonder Kathy's head did not explode. Janeway. Gads. Does Kathy even have any respect for this guy anymore? You know it's Janeway. Ha! You know nothing! My god, that response is so wrong on so many levels.

Janeway was a good Star Trek captain but not the best. Kate Mulgrew is a fine actress.

Janeway, gah, now there is a response to ensure many more years of celibacy. Buddy announces that he is too insecure in his manhood to admit admiration for a character of the same sex.

Bryan, Texas is...

According to Googlism.com

  • bryan, texas is easy
  • bryan, texas is the preferred choice for health
  • bryan, texas is seeking bilingual and bivocational pastor
  • bryan, texas is seeking a bilingual
  • bryan, texas is rich with berry
  • bryan, texas is to die for
  • bryan, texas is the manufacturer of fiber
  • bryan, texas is an organization of concerned women and men who
  • bryan, texas is a reminder that thousands and thousands of monarchs haven’t even crossed the border into mexico yet
  • bryan, texas is seeking a part
  • bryan, texas is a rapidly growing company
  • bryan, texas is where jon wales stations his horses
  • bryan, texas is the second largest tourist attraction in the brazos valley and consists of an award
  • bryan, texas is providing the financing for the laurels and the haven
  • bryan, texas is working on a book to document the history of these pioneer law enforcement officers
  • bryan, texas is now traveling across the country
  • bryan, texas is named
  • bryan, texas is soliciting
  • bryan, texas is a 16 bed medical and surgical facility
  • bryan, texas is regarded as the company’s flagship facility
  • bryan, texas is a college town
  • bryan, texas is the home of project unity
  • bryan, texas is now located
  • bryan, texas is so far that the plaintiff's family will be unable to visit except perhaps once
  • bryan, texas is like
  • bryan, texas is a leading provider of on
  • bryan, texas is located equidistant from houston
  • bryan, texas is?

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Running Log and Sports

This week I ran 18.22 miles, burned 2,092 calories and weigh 171.7 pounds.

Monday: 3.26 miles in 35:00
Wednesday: 2.29 miles in 25:00
Friday: 4.24 miles in 45:00
Saturday: 5.94 miles in 65:00

Tomorrow, my church's ministerial candidate will conduct the first of two services. Next week will be filled with meetings.

Next Saturday I will have the opportunity to demonstrate my low level skills at softball. The College of Agriculture and Life Sciences is holding an interdepartmental softball tournament. I agreed to play on the Wildlife and Fisheries Sciences team. Not only do I have the opportunity to show off my low level skills but I get to do so in front of my co-workers. I did tell the person organizing the team of my skill level. I'm in it just for fun.

I played intramural sports in college. The teams I played on competed in the Co-Rec C league. This was the league for those teams just having fun. Co-Rec means that the teams had to be coed. The team I played with treated these sports as an opportunity for fellowship and sharing our faith. We played other teams representing various religious and service groups.

One year Campus Crusade for Christ's team almost got thrown out of the Co-Rec C Flag Football (not soccer) league for being too rough. They tended to grab more than the flags.

All this was over a decade ago.

I'm sure I'll have fun next week. At least I won't run the risk of being manhandled by Campus Crusade for Christ.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Predicting story lines

Uh oh, Mary starts to draw a conclusion. Vera grew up in Pacific Hills, the stomping ground of millionaires, and now she mentions a nanny. Mary questions the term, nanny. I called my grandmother, Nanny. My Nanny also baked great pies - her specialty was pecan (pronounced peh-khan in my part of the world) pie. This does not mean that I'm now living a lifestyle less privileged than the one in which I grew up. Surely, Pacific Hills millionaires allows its support personnel to live within their town. I can't wait to see the conclusions Mary draws and the look on her face when those assumptions are proven wrong. Oops, I assumed that Karen Moy is a good comic strip writer.

Vera, a child of privilege, now has to work and live a lifestyle far beneath the one she had become accustomed to. Oh my god! I already see how this storyline will unfold! Two possibilities actually.

One possible direction: Vera's privileged upbringing becomes a source of tension at Charterstone because Vera behaves as if she is too good to associate with the hoi polloi residing at Charterstone. After being brought down by Ian, Toby and the other good residents, Vera flees Charterstone, buys some booze and dies in a fiery car crash. Mary Worth will contemplate going to the city council and politely requesting that they consider installing guard rails on road sides of Santa Royale.

Second possibility: Begins the same as the first but Mary's friendship helps Vera adapt to living among lower classes and she grows to like them.

Now, I have to keep reading this damn strip to determine if I'm proven correct.

I like how Ruthie plays with her dolls. No doll has what it takes.

Quotes by Adolph Hitler

How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think.

I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.

Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.

This human world of ours would be inconceivable without the practical existence of a religious belief.

Thus inwardly armed with confidence in God and the unshakable stupidity of the voting citizenry, the politicians can begin the fight for the 'remaking' of the Reich as they call it.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Remodeling

I needed a change so I changed the layout of this blog. Still haven't figured out how to change my profile picture.

Took Loki for a walk instead of going to the gym. Got eaten alive by mosquitoes.

Federally Funded Researchers Want To Scrap The Internet

Researchers funded by the federal government want to shut down the internet and start over, citing the fact that at the moment there are loopholes in the system whereby users cannot be tracked and traced all the time.



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Another beautiful day, another icon

Another beautiful day and another Mary Worth icon. A classic Mary Worth audible punctuation dialog balloon. Why not, huh? That would make more sense since a sound goes with the word. A question mark by itself does not have a sound. It alters the sound of a word, unless one hails from parts of the southern United States. People from those regions tend to make every sentence sound like a question.

I noticed that KFC no longer advertises its Famous Bowls. I guess the demographic that enjoys its food in a huge pile rather than separated does not have as much disposable income as thought by the marketers at KFC. In the non-cracker south, gravy does not belong on top of corn. Non-cracker south includes most of the southern United States.

Why does Kentucky Fried Chicken use a sample from "Sweet Home Alabama" in its commercials? The unavailability of songs about Kentucky suitable for marketing products?

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Problems solved

Hooray! Problems solved and not a single use of profanity nor taking Bob Saget's name in vain. I'm glad that I have a wide screen monitor to allow me to view multiple documents side by side. I don't know how anyone can code all day without getting cross eyed.

A trip to the landfill

Bonus icons from Mary Worth:

Went to the landfill to film the WFSC 409 tour. Not much to see because the rains made the roads around the work site too messy. Captured some footage of turkey buzzards going through the garbage and ignoring the workers nearby. The landfill manager said that this facility now has a small population of sea gulls that came in with the storms. College Station is more than 100 miles from the nearest ocean. I did not see any of the sea gulls but I will check the footage more carefully. The sea gulls may have blended in with the garbage.

Yesterday, I went to a seminar on blogging and how other departments are using blogs to communicate. I will make another attempt to explain how our department can use a blog as a newsletter and for other communication. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a wall whenever I attempt to explain the positive potential of blogging and other communication mediums. Maybe it's my own inability to communicate effectively.

I'm thinking about putting an RSS feed on aperfectworld.org so that people don't have to visit every day. It would cause less frustration whenever I don't update because of server problems, personal issues, bad weather or any number of reasons.

This afternoon I get to figure out how an older version of a web page ended up on display and try to fix it. I need a different exclamation of frustration. Fuck! and its variants is not appropriate for a professional atmosphere. Neither is an Hawaiian shirt but I'm wearing one today. I'll try "Bob Saget!" - it has the same cadence as "God Damnit!" but without the potential of eternal damnation. I got the Bob Saget idea from some videos of a Tourette's sufferer who uses Bob Saget as a curse. I hope Bob Saget does not have any supernatural powers.

I love my job but not enough to do it for free.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

aperfectworld.org is back!

Hooray! aperfectworld.org is back up. Hopefully, it will stay up tonight so that I can finally do an update.



The Barry White as an Star Trek alert voice gag is quite hilarious but it is time for a change.



Vera's dialog in the second panel is the funniest thing I've read on the comics page in a long time. Mary's dialog in the second panel is quite humorous as well. Where did the china cabinet go?

A future project: construct a 3D model of Mary Worth's apartment based upon Giella's drawings. Probably get a few illegal operation errors from the computer program. I'm obsessive enough to come up with the concept of 3D modeling a comic strip character's apartment but too much of a procrastinator to actually do the project.

Why do people say that they do not mean to pry when in fact that is what they are doing?

Monday, April 16, 2007

aperfectworld.org is down

I am receiving a 403 Forbidden when I visit aperfectworld.org. I cannot FTP either. I'll give it another 24 hours before I call IPower. For those do not access the blog via the website, today's cartoon:
Maybe I need a vacation from cartoons for a while.

Run Thru the Vines Results

Run Thru the Vines Results: 10K
15th out of 18 in group (Female 30 - 39)
175th place overall
Chip time: 1:06:11.5
Gun time: 1:06:32.8
Pace: 10:40/Mile

I was aiming for 1:10:00 for this race.

For some reason aperfectworld.org is down. I hope the outage is temporary.

A return to normalcy?

Maybe this week will be normal. I'm behind on updates, scanning, laundry, dishes and other things. Hopefully, I can catch up.


My new monitor is in place. My eyes should melt out of my skull by Friday.




The first time ever a name is mentioned. Better Half takes a major turn toward the surreal.

I don't want to get into the physics of this dress or the female figure. Another thing I'd thought I would never experience before the age of 40 - being disturbed by a Herman panel.

The yellow and white star burst dress did not work, the hideous food did not work, looks like Mary Worth will have to resort to water boarding in order to force Vera to reveal the secrets of her past.

I will update my cartoon tonight. I will make the time.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Run and sleep, sleep and run

This week I ran 15.1 miles, burned about 1919.4 calories and weigh 172.5 pounds.

Monday: 3.28 miles in 35:00
Wednesday: 2.33 miles in 25:00
Friday: 3.29 miles in 35:00

Saturday ran in the Run Thru the Vines 10K. I don't have the official results yet but I estimate my time as 1:06:00. About a 10:30 mile. It was cold and windy.

I seems like I spent most of the day in bed. I ran in the race, went home, took a shower, read and started a nap. Someone called and woke me up. Just as I started to go back to sleep I received another phone call. I got out of bed to wait for some visitors. The visitors came and went. I went out to get some lunch and came back. I went back to bed and read for a while then fell asleep again. I was awakened by my earlier visitors bringing Pickles back. I tried to go back to bed but the dogs wanted to go out so I took them out and went back to bed. I was again awakened by a phone call from Walter. He thought it was safe to call but he did not know that I had been attempting to take a two hour nap all day. After he got off the phone, I was finally able to take an uninterrupted nap.

I spend a lot of time on the weekends sleeping. Trying to make up some sort of sleep deficit, I guess.

Friday, April 13, 2007

To hell with it

Forget the update, I'm going to bed. I have a 10K race tomorrow.

Ministerial candidate blog

Rev. Eric Posa's blog

The blog of our ministerial candidate. Check it out, post comments.

Church business and dog farts

I did not update the website last night. I had a church Board meeting last night that went a little long.

Four very important items were discussed.

  1. Hiring a bookkeeper - motion passed. This will cut down on the hours the Treasurer has to spend working on things. Our church has grown beyond the only qualification for Treasurer is simply being able to balance a checkbook. The treasurer will oversee the finances but the bookkeeper will do the data entry and generate reports.

  2. Search process - found out some details about candidating week and took care of some other matters regarding the search.

  3. Proposed budget explained and approved pending modifications as new pledges come in. The finance committee did an outstanding job on this and the membership has been quite generous in its pledging.

  4. A mutually beneficial proposal regarding a parking lot was discussed, explained and approved to move forward. The congregation will be informed and consulted as details come together.

The meeting was productive and all four items were discussed and acted upon appropriately. This was my penultimate meeting as Board president. This was one of the more enjoyable meetings that I presided over in my tenure. It ran a bit long but each of these things discussed will make a substantial difference in the life of the church. A certain amount of fulfillment from that helps compensate for the meeting length. Maybe the food helped - a windfall from my department ordering too much food for an event.

I did not bother turning on my computer last night. Messages to me should start bouncing as my inbox becomes clogged with spam.


I will update tonight.


A bit of wisdom gained from experience: Do not feed a dog cheese after 9:00 pm unless one wants to awaken at 3:00 am to allow the dog to take care of business. Cheese induced dog farts will really wake you up in the morning. Sort of an olfactory equivalent to a 2x4 upside the head.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------




The King Features colorist applied the red a bit heavily on the ladies' lips.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Alternative dialog


Alternate dialog first panel:
"Hello, Mary. I used to live in a world where people call before visiting. Please forgive me for not realizing that Charterstone has suspended the normal rules of ettiquette."

Unseen third panel:
"I love homemade apple pie, especially with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, but unfortunately I was diagnosed with diabetes last year. Thank you Mary for reminding me of the things I can no longer enjoy."

At least Mary did not make a tuna casserole.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Jim Varney is dead

All that set up for a lame pun. Grandpa needs to get out more.

---------------------------------------------

I listened to a bit of the John Boy and Billy Big Show on 99.5 - the Fox while traveling between garage sales on Saturday. They did this bit titled, "Married Man". The theme song parodies the Spiderman cartoon theme song. Married Man and his friend, College Buddy, compare the party preceding the renewal of marriage vows with the bachelor party of some years before. Instead of 21 year old strippers the pre-vow renewal party consisted of going to a live performance of "Man of La Mancha" starring Jim Varney. Important detail: I heard this on the radio, Saturday, April 7, 2007. College Buddy comments sarcastically that the theater performance was way better than the 21 year old strippers from the bachelor party. Actually, College Buddy was wrong because any performance by Jim Varney would be much more impressive than a performance by a 21 year old stripper because Jim Varney died February 10, 2000. Please refer back to the important detail.

I hoped I conveyed the full magnitude of suckness that is 99.5 - the Fox, the classic rock station for the Brazos Valley. Instead of music in the morning, this station plays the comedy stylings of idiots, non-local idiots (Thus depriving me of the opportunity of giving the idiots the finger if I encountered them at a live remote). This radio station plays the comedy stylings of non-local idiots who failed to update their damn material!

-------------------------------------------------

In a perfect world, only one person per gathering would be allowed to spew inane chatter.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Photo montage

My first attempt at a photo montage video.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Snow!?! WTF!?

The day before Easter and it's sleeting, snowing and 35 degrees F in south Texas. All this screwed up cold weather happened after Al Gore won the Oscar. I believe the cosmos decided to make Al Gore its bitch. The northeast U.S. received the brunt of the nasty cold weather. Thankfully, in the south, it will go away in a day or two.

I spent most of the day in bed snuggled under blankets. Visited the few garage sales open for business, ran at the gym and went to Doc Green's with Walter.

This week I ran 13.51 miles, burned 1692.2 calories and weigh 172.5 pounds. This weight gain bothers me. I might consult a nutritionist at Scott & White. I could exercise more but I have a life. I should do some serious meal planning. Both of us could benefit from a visit with a nutritionist.

Monday: 3.32 miles in 35:00
Wednesday: 2.34 miles in 25:00
Saturday: 5.89 miles in 65:00

I planned on running Friday but opted to take Loki to the park and the dog wash. The dog wash has a ramp leading up to the wash basin; a great feature if one has a dog that will walk up a ramp. I do not own such a dog. Loki can alter his weight at will but I can still lift him.

Now there is a strong man event I would like to see - the lifting a reluctant Bullmastiff into a tub event.

Have a happy Easter.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Assertivness is too much work

I hate being assertive. It's so much work.

Sure, people will walk all over me but I don't mind. Especially if those people are small, beautiful women and they walk barefooted on my back. It really works the kinks out of the muscles.

I'm figuring out a method to train Loki to walk on my back. It would be a neat trick and he is the right weight. If anyone has any ideas drop me a line.

What would it take to get those True ads on my site? Pictures of attractive scantily clad women would certainly increase my page views. Plus, if a cartoon really sucks at least there is something else to look at. It could increase my revenue from the things that, by agreement, I'm not allowed to mention or draw attention to.

It's time to turn on my assertiveness and find out what's the hold up on my new computer.

Mary Worth is being exceptionally pushy. I'm really starting to dislike her. Vera does not want to remain at your stupid party. Get it!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Furniture and Functional Fitness

My new office furniture arrived and I put it together with some help from student workers. My new computer and components are not in place yet, so I've hooked up my current computer. Just the monitor, keyboard, mouse and Ethernet. No sound or printing. I wanted enough to do some work. All my stuff is still piled up in my office. I will start putting it up this afternoon.

I'm way behind on my scanning but I have 17 days worth of cartoons ready to go.

I subscribe to a number of health and fitness e-newsletters. Four of them often refer to "functional fitness" without really defining it. They do say that their exercise programs make you functionally fit as opposed to the false fitness involved in weight lifting and long distance cardio. I find the exercises they recommend useful and quite effective, especially when other gym users hoard equipment. I also lift weights and run long distances in training for a specific race. When not training for a race I do shorter bursts of running with an emphasis on speed. I would like to be able to maintain a 10:00 minute/ mile pace very comfortably for a marathon.

I find some of the statements that these exercise gurus make about marathon running a bit annoying but the statements are just opinions. Really, it is more of an attitude that they don't enjoy marathon running but if you do that's fine. None of them recommend it as a way to get fit. I wouldn't recommend marathon running as a means of becoming fit. I took it up to test my limits and found that I enjoyed doing it. I limit myself to one or two marathons a year. I had to do other things in order to get fit enough to take on the challenge. Fitness is a side effect.

Back to "functional fitness". I've decided to define it as the ability to do something outside one's normal routine; for example, assemble and move furniture, and still have the ability to do one's regular exercise routine without injury. I moved, lifted and assembled furniture then was able to do my circuit on Tuesday and run over 2 miles on Wednesday. I'm not tired or sore.

Hopefully, I can have my new computer in place today. That will make it easier to arrange the rest of my office.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Ann Coulter and Noise - no they are not related this time

I slept better with the volume on the noise machine turned down. No sounds of waterfalls intruding upon my dreams.

Loki seems to like the noise machine, he's been sleeping in the bedroom instead of the living room.

Ann Coulter - every cartoonists' greatest challenge. Maybe not, just draw a skeleton with long hair. Ann Coulter should be ignored until she learns to behave like an adult.

Alternate spelling suggestions for Coulter: colder, jolter, counter, clutter, colet.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Noise Machine and Empty Space

I purchased a noise machine from Bed, Bath and Beyond. It plays a variety of relaxing sounds and has a timer. I set it to play the waterfalls all night. It drowned out most of Walter's snoring. I turned up the volume instead of hitting Walter and it had the same effect of making him stop snoring. I will need to try this thing for a few more nights in order to determine its effectiveness.
I dreamt that I slipped into the empty space between the tiny particles that make up an atom. It was dark and sounded like a waterfall. The journey into the empty space proved more interesting than the destination.

The 20 minute version of In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida kind of sucks. Maybe it should be enjoyed while laying in a meadow high on LSD rather than in an office stimulated by caffeine. Maybe the song just sucks regardless of chemicals ingested and location.

Glasbergen really needs to stop drawing reflections, too damn disturbing. Harriet's kneecaps are more aesthetically pleasing than her breasts.

In answer to your "?", Mary, "I-um have work to do." means, "Okay, you biddy, I've made my appearance at your dumb party can I go and be by myself or with a group of people I like or visit my therapist or be anywhere else but this @#$%! party?" Vera is just renting an apartment, a place to put her stuff, sleep, cook, relax and bathe; not a bunch of instant friends.

This whole story line pisses me off because I have dealt with people who tried to impose their "friendship" upon me and try to force me to conform to their ideas of friendship. Then they became angry when forced to use stronger tactics to get them out of my life because subtlety and tact failed. Since this is Mary Worth, Vera will have to resort to suicide.

Then there is the whole Aldo affair. Nobody likes a raging hypocrite, Mary.

People in Darfur are trying to avoid death and I'm pissed off about a comic strip storyline. I feel powerless regarding both Darfur and this Mary Worth storyline.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Weekly Running Log

This week I ran 4.6 miles, burned 576.4 calories and weigh 171.3 pounds.

I got my body fat percentage checked at the gym. 33.2% Four marathons, 35K run, 1/2 marathon and a couple of 5Ks and it is 33.2%. I want a second opinion. The first time I had it checked it was close to 37% so some progress has been made.

Tuesday: 2.28 miles in 25:00
Thursday: 2.32 miles in 25:00

I did not run on Saturday because I participated in a day of mindfulness.