A couple of interesting metaphors in today's funny pages:
Are there any Methodists in the house that can verify the metaphor in the first panel?
Today's fun activity - incorporate "You're not the sharpest cheese on the cracker" into a conversation. Maybe someone respond with, "So, I'm more of a mild cheddar?"
Mary Worth needs some bitch-slapping action, now! Resentment has turned to pettiness and the best cure for pettiness is a good bitch slap - physical or verbal.
HEB Classics Lean Selections - Chicken Parmesan or Pollo Parmensano. Hecho en Canada. I can learn Spanish while eating lunch.
The package:
The reality after microwaving:
The zucchini hides in the corner in an attempt to escape its fate.
I have trouble believing that making this meal in Canada and shipping it is more cost-effective than making it in Texas or Mexico where it is distributed. I don't grasp the economics unless this Canadian factory produces the same meals for other grocery store chains throughout the hemisphere but in different packages.
Nice bedside manner there, doc. Pushing family members out of the way and vaulting over the patient's bed may seem a bit rude but the audience must see the "Moy & Giella." I now understand the method in which Joe Giella composes his panels. He letters the "Moy & Giella" and then composes around it. Continuity be damned.
HEB Classics Lean Selection - Ginger Glazed Chicken. For Spanish speakers, Pollo al Jengibre. HEB is a regional chain of grocery stores based in San Antonio, Texas with stores located in Texas and Mexico. More information about HEB can be found here, including why the company opted to use the founder's initials rather than full name.
The package:
The reality after microwaving:
In English and Spanish the box says that this is a product of Canada. NAFTA food.
I procrastinate to achieve immortality. I can't die because I have too much undone.
This week I ran, biked and rowed 15.04 miles, burned 1543.3 calories and weigh 156.3 pounds.
Monday: rowed 1.31 miles in 10:00
Tuesday: ran 3.47 miles in 39:13
Wednesday: biked 3.25 miles in 15:00
Thursday: ran 3.39 miles in 35:00
Saturday: ran 3.62 miles in 41:13
Next week's plan:
Monday - bike and strength training
Tuesday - 30 minute run
Wednesday - row and strength training
Thursday - 30 minute run
Friday - bike and strength training
Saturday - 40 minute run
Kashi Chicken Florentine, the package:
The contents inside the package melted a bit and made the package wet.
The actual product after microwaving:
This is the last Kashi meal in my stash. I've documented all the Kashi entrees except for the Lemongrass Coconut Chicken. The Chicken Florentine is the most visually unappealing of all the Kashi meals and not all that tasty. I ate it but did not enjoy it.
I should have had what this guy is having:
It may lack visual appeal but at least he's enjoying the heck out of it. This image needs a slogan. Feel free to suggest one in the comments.
The foreground man in panel one looked forward to his sandwich so much that he started eating it before putting down the paper bag or pulling out whatever else was in the bag. Foreground man derives a great deal of pleasure from that round edible object.
I used a similar approach when I sold Kirby vacuum cleaners. The Galaxy 5 could do more than suck. It could blow, sand, and massage.
The hospital has the same revolving wall and upright donut display technology as the cafe in which Vera dumped Drew.
The boys should try a different approach to taking their mind off their mother's impending death.
Donna does not fear death because after talking to Mary Worth she realizes that there are things worse than death.
Kashi Chicken Pasta Pomodoro, the package:
The reality after microwaving:
I received some cookies, lotion, shower gel and a Chick-fil-A gift card for Administrative Professionals Day. All of this came in a purple metal pail. 
This photo accompanied an article from an e-Diets e-mail about Worst Food Hall of Shame. I still quite figure out what she is licking. I think it's a plate. I did not read the article but i could not stop staring at the picture.
The birds have new digs. The cage is taller with an extra roof roost. The features I like are the seed catch and the bottom tray and floor slides out for easy cleaning. It's rare to find a slide out floor on a cage designed for smaller birds.
This evening we had a bit of a crisis when two perches got loose but I put them back. Salvador and Edgar seem to like the cage. Edgar especially likes the new height.
I have a new foster dog named Backpack. He is a lab mix. He's energetic and loves to play in water.
Created by OnePlusYou
I only had 20 oz of Diet Dr. Pepper and 20 oz. of tea today.
I've kept exercising but have not posted a log in a while.
This week I ran, rowed and biked 16.21 miles, burned 1242.7 calories and weigh 156.4 pounds.
Monday - Biked 3.24 miles in 15:00 (ave. speed 12.9 mph)
Tuesday - Ran 4.08 miles in 47:01 (ave. pace 11:32/mile, 5.2 mph)
Wednesday - Rowed 1.29 miles in 10:00
Friday - Biked 4.47 miles in 20:11 (ave. speed 13.2 mph)
Saturday - Ran 3.13 miles in 35:28 (ave. pace 11:20/mile, 5.3 mph)
Next week's plan:
Monday - strength and 10 min. row
Tuesday - 30 minute run
Wednesday - strength and 10 min. bike
Thursday - 30 minute run
Friday - strength and 15 min. row
Saturday - 35 minute run
Kashi Sweet & Sour Chicken. The package with 10 edamame (soybeans) and one mushroom:
The reality after microwaving:
Only 4 edamame (soybeans) but two mushrooms.
Kashi Pesto Pasta Primavera, one Kashi's vegetarian selections.
The package:
The reality after microwaving:
The two vegetarian dishes (the other is the Mango stuff) are the most divergent from the package. I found this the least scary deviation from packaging because it sort of looks arranged.
I still have Pesto breath two hours after eating this.
I enjoy the blog, Stuff White People Like. I contemplated writing blog entries on the theme of Stuff White People Don't Like. I did not get much further than white people and being accused of racism. I realized that the whole thing was a shameless ploy to exploit the popularity of a better written blog to boost my own readership. I also risked instead of tens of people being exposed to my drivel, hundreds, possibly thousands people would read my blog and post comments about how my blog sucks.
Yes, I am aware of my weaknesses when it comes to writing. That knowledge leads to a bit of a conundrum for me. According to this article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2000/01/18/MN73840.DTL most incompetent people do not know that they are incompetent. Since, I know, does that make me competent?
Back to liked stuff. I decided to be a bit more self-centered and focus on Stuff Linda Likes. I discovered I like the idea of things more than things themselves.
I like the idea of the following things:
This list, except for number 8, could serve as a set of goals to work toward in 2008 and beyond.
I read the line in the fourth panel as, "...Mary Worth's kinky pants suits..." I thought, no wonder Dr. Jeff and Mary has not had sex yet, Mark Trail stole her kinky pants suit and Jeff can't get turned on unless Mary wears it.
Then I reread the panel. Oh, kicky.
I need to get my eyes checked, the online comics need to be bigger and I need to get my mind out of the gutter.
Guy in red sweatshirt, the Vulcan nerve pinch does not work on Mary Worth. Give up now and follow your brother to the parking lot. Orange jacket wants to take it to the parking lot, not for a fight but to get the hell away from Mary before she opens her Sam's Wholesale Club sized can of meddle all over their ass. The guys names are Rich and Ron but I forget who is who and I don't care that much to look it up.
I would do the same thing if I did not have the tendency to keep a death grip on whatever stable object I could find while riding on a motorcycle. It has been over 20 years since I rode on a motorcycle. I would enjoy the sight of a bubble blowing Harley rider.
Unfortunately, no college offers getting paychecks as a major.
I just made a PDF from a printed Master's thesis.
I had a bit of a dilemma: time vs. greenness.
Thesis was bound. I could have used my flatbed scanner and scanned a page at a time. Very tedious. Or I could make a copy and put that into my multi-page feed scanner. Job done quickly but require the use of extra paper plus whatever energy expended by the copy machine.
I decided to make a copy. I made the copy two-sided since the multi-page scanner can scan two sides. The copy ended up in the recycle bin. A copy of some one's Master's thesis will eventually become toilet paper or whatever they make out of the recycled paper.
At least the process happens only once.
It is a testament to my religion that I even weighed the options.
Kashi Southwest Style Chicken.
The package:
The entree straight out of the microwave:
All Kashi products require stirring before eating. The stirring does not bring reality any closer to the package.
None of these entrees taste bad. The Southwest Style Chicken was a bit bland for my taste. I like my food a bit spicier.
Throwing chili powder or picante sauce and beans on to something does not automatically make it "Southwest Style."
For those concerned that I eat nothing but pre-packaged food, click here to see what else I eat. I do eat non-processed food. I like the convenience of pre-packaged food. Put the box in the lunch bag and then place it in the microwave at lunchtime.
Kashi, Amy's and other organic brands of frozen food are a bit pricier compared to the non-organic brands but I compare the prices to a fast food restaurant meal. Where could I get a meal made of organic ingredients for $3.00? The Kashi were on sale 2 for $6.00.
I've eaten Amy's Burritos and second the recommendation from commenter, charlie talbert.
I would consider changing doctors if my doctor used the word, "like" as a verbal placeholder. I really hope people do outgrow that, especially those who become professionals. Otherwise, don't expect me to take you seriously.
When did Bill Clinton become a Vulcan or elf?
A sign of the apocalypse - an amusing Drabble. I personally find pancakes more comforting than waffles. Probably stems from the love my grandmother put into making hers. She made pancakes in the shapes of animals. Her most impressive shape was a crescent moon with sharp points. A neat trick to perform with a semi-viscous liquid poured from a giant measuring cup.
Unlike Drabble, a non-amusing F Minus would signal the apocalypse. I so want to use that line but I never have an occasion to make a sandwich for a child. Please, someone use this line on my behalf if you encounter someone complaining about a sandwich with just the heels. I feed my bread heels to the dog. He never complains.
At least Francis managed to keep his bitterness at bay until he got out the door. He may have punted Momma before coming outside or used his huge feet to step on her.
Kashi Black Bean Mango as it appears on the package:
Kashi Black Bean Mango as it appears after microwaving:
Crossing the finish line:
Approaching the finish line:
I wasn't yelling or singing, I was breathing very hard through my mouth. I should breathe through my nose but it stops up when I do vigorous exercise.
Only one of two races that I felt like puking after crossing the finish line. Both races were 5Ks. Maybe because I push myself harder for the shorter distance. My stomach settled very quickly and I did not puke. 
As soon as Mary Worth figures out if Richard and Ron are a single female nurse with a split personality she will get her meddle on big time. Meddlehellacious!
My official results for the Run Thru the Vines 5K race
Gun Time: 33:51
Chip Time: 33:20
Overall Place: 173 (282 runners)
Place in Class: 8 (20 Female 30 - 39)
Place in Gender: 78 (163 Female runners)
Pace: 10:41/mile
This morning I participated in the 31st Run Thru the Vines 5K/ 10K race put on by the TAMU Roadrunners. Walter is posting pictures on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22287142@N02/sets/72157604503764494/
My unofficial time (according to my timer) is 33:45. I ran the 5K and set a personal record.
Chilling before the race with Messina Hof winery in the background. It was cold but once I started running I felt fine.
Wednesday's Lunch: Kashi Lime Cilantro Shrimp
Picture on the box:
Actual meal:
It looked a lot scarier before I stirred things.
Thursday's Lunch: Kashi Lemon Rosemary Chicken
Picture on the box:
This is one of the original boxes. Kashi has reduced its package size by 11% as noted on the Lime Cilantro Shrimp. The smaller box also fits in my lunch cooler easier.
A close up of the food as pictured on the package:
The meal as it appeared after microwaving:
I have to commend Kashi for at least having the ingredients that appear on the package in the meal. Of all the microwave meals that I've consumed Kashi has come the closest to matching package to reality.
Check out Ads vs. Reality for real scary examples of the differences between photos and reality.
Time to make the donuts. This phrase runs through my head every morning when I get up to get ready for work. This does not happen on the weekends. Dunkin Donuts has not used that campaign in over a decade and the character actor in the commercial died a couple of years ago and yet my brain chooses to play this phrase. Does it count as a prayer, affirmation or mantra? Maybe, I relate to the sleep deprived donut maker a bit too much.
I wonder if actual donut makers use this phrase? On second thought, it would likely cause blank stares given the date of the campaign and the age of the workforce.
I had my first generational shock, eight years ago, when students in one my professor's class did not know about "I'm Just a Bill" from Schoolhouse Rock. They did not know how a bill became a law and had to gain that knowledge in the form of a slightly dry PowerPoint presentation rather than an entertaining cartoon.
I forget that I interact regularly with people that would not get pop culture references from the 1970's and 1980's. I wonder how the hell I know "Sock it to me!" Oh yeah, it got crammed down my throat via reruns and commercials.
I found myself spending too much time on non-work related stuff so today I did things differently. Work with periodic short breaks for non-work. Worked pretty well and got a few things off my to do list.
My color printer is evil. It turns a seemingly simple job of printing invitations into a stressful chore, every damn semester. Features don't work consistently, random errors, printing in a layout exactly the opposite that I requested, not retaining the settings, taking up multiple sheets of paper and of course the random paper jam. The printer works fine for smaller jobs but for some reason the damn invitations causes it to go crazy. These things are printed on regular size sheets of paper and then cut and half so there goes the unusual paper size excuse. The amount of work that goes into these things - oh crap - I remembered the envelopes. Oh, the fucking envelopes. Really, this damn thing takes way too much of my time. Lots of people better show up for this event.
Rented Kung Fu Hustle from Netflix. Great movie. Stephen Chow must have realized that Kung Fu movies are rather absurd so he took it way over the edge. Don't eat or drink while watching this movie, otherwise you might choke or redecorate. Kung Fu action with cartoonish comedy and a bit of sweetness thrown in. I might buy a copy of this movie.
As long is Monty is mindful his walking meditation is just fine. I could live in a community based upon Ballard Street.
What are the ingredients of "Beetleloaf"?
Dagwood Bumstead distills the essence of the comics page in today's newspapers.
Can Mary perform an actual act of kindness? An act that really puts herself on the line?
No, Mary will only increase this woman's suffering with platitudes and meddling and pretend it is kindness. Mary Worth would not recognize true kindness even if the Dalai Lama himself gave her instruction.
The Santa Royale hospice has a picture of Mary Worth in its office with instructions to get her away from the clients by any means possible.
