An interesting essay:
http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/Issue/column?oid=oid%3A460781
I had a busy day at work. Not as behind in scanning my cartoons.
Odor warfare! So, that's what Loki engages in at night.
Mary, please give Vera some space. Sometimes, one needs space to heal. Mary's need to meddle comes before Vera's need to heal. The Charterstone parties suck. Vera, purchase a blanket to put over that ugly orange couch.
Brilliant!
Deliverance has come in the form of a seminar.
Evolution for Everyone: How Darwinʼs theory can change the way we think about our lives
David Sloan Wilson
Dept. of Biology
Binghamton University
Sounds like an engaging topic. Hopefully, it will become available on the web.
I will film it, therefore; I cannot pick up my mother-in-law from the airport when her flight arrives. Walter will try to pick her up or I will pick her up after the seminar. Easterwood Airport should have lots of things to entertain her if she has to wait for me.
I will pick up my mother-in-law from the airport this afternoon. She is a nice person but she has an annoying habit of talking. I will cope.
It's not that I'm not interested in hearing about her vacation, it's that I'm not interested in hearing about the parts of the vacation she will talk about. She went to Biloxi, Mississippi. I don't care about the details.
Aunt Carmen is her given name!?
Maybe all that touching while showing Vera the apartment and attempts to force friendship upon her may have played a role in traumatizing her. Vera could have heard about Aldo. I hope Vera stages an intervention for Mary.
Yes, friends make life richer but I will choose my friends carefully, thank you very much.
I did not update the cartoon last night because of a thunderstorm. On the plus side, I watched Enterprise and got a decent night's sleep. I could have done something productive like put up the clean clothes and load the dishwasher but I think I benefited more from the rest. The clothes and dishes can wait.
Last night's workout frustrated me a bit. Another long wait for equipment, annoying people, still a bit of tightness in the back and I could not do a single clean and jerk. I skipped working my calf muscles. The work day and lack of sleep probably affected my performance. I understand the benefits of changing workouts every four weeks. I'm on my last week on this particular workout.
I will run tonight. I enjoy running.
Mary, looking remarkably manly in the first panel, has met her first introvert and does not know what to make of human being that does not need constant companionship, chatter and prefers to not talk too much about anything. Will Mary learn to accept Vera as simply a part of the 35% of the U.S. population who operates in the world differently than herself and allow the friendship to develop at its own pace? The answer: of course not! Mary, as an extrovert gone mad, will ignore all the hints, signals and restraining orders until the whole story ends in an ugly way. Mary will blame Vera. Mary will never realize that the problem lies with her.
All the creepy touching did not help matters, either.
I need to seriously evaluate my life.
I'm tired of these damn clouds! I want clear skies! I demand clear skies! I need to see blue sky!
Happy birthday to Leonard Nimoy! All hail, Mr. Spock!
Wow, an unfunny fart joke. Add that to my list of things I've experienced before the age of 40.
I would have stayed in the ratty apartment. At least the doors remained the same size and an old lady wearing a purple pants suit did not attempt to cut off the blood circulation to my hand with her vise-like death grip. Vera needs that hand for her clerk typist job.
This week I ran 4.5 miles, burned 560.1 calories and weigh 169.3 pounds.
Tuesday: 2.23 miles in 25:00
Thursday: 2.27 miles in 25:00
I did not run Saturday because I volunteered at a shooting clays tournament fund raiser for Woodstock. I pushed buttons and got a mild sunburn. I enjoyed working at the tournament.
Friday, I hurt my back by picking up after an idiot who did not know how to rack dumbbells. Friday's workout was especially frustrating between the idiots who would not rack dumbbells and the other idiots hoarding dumbbells. I think I will switch to body weight exercises next month.
I gripe about crappy comics in the paper. So, I will pretend that I am a newspaper comics page editor and share my line-up. I read a lot of these comics on a regular basis and others I read occasionally. Several comics that I read regularly do not appear on this list.
In no particular order, my fantasy comics line-up:
No, Mary is not speaking to Dr. Jeff Cory but it's funnier to pretend otherwise. Also serves as a nice icon.
Ziggy wears underwear? Tom Wilson's cultural references become more recent. This one is only a decade old. At this rate, Ziggy's crazy lady astronaut diaper gag should appear in 2012.The only thing preventing the ceiling tiles in my office from crashing down upon my head is the third floor absorbing the water from the leaky roof.
Happy birthday, William Shatner! Bow down to the almighty Shatner! All hail the great and almighty Shatner!
Pure comic genius.
Loretta's mother is rather attractive.The first day of Spring, hooray!
Bonus icon:
The indifference of Mary Worth
Asking the right questions can also make most religions seem ridiculous. Fortunately, in the United States a boycott or a loud protest is the worst thing that can happen. Other places and times, death.
Yeah, yeah, blah blah, blahdeblah blah blah. Vera really starts at the bottom by taking a job that no longer exists. Mary Worth does not care she just wants your soul. Mary plucks the world's tiniest violin.
The first day of spring and I see this. Tom Wilson owes me something for disturbing me on the first day of spring. Ziggy does not wear pants and now he's modest? I wonder if this is before or after Ziggy has taken of business? The more I think about this comic the more disturbed I become.
I spend a great of time going over these entries to eliminate instances of passive voice. I do it for most of my writing. I do this to avoid the disapproval of an English teacher I had not seen in nearly 20 years. I doubt she reads this. I wonder if any of Ms. Kessler's other former students do this or am I just nuts?
Ms. Kessler taught junior and senior English at Spring High School in Spring, Texas.
Wow, www.aperfectworld.org is blocked in China
Check it out: http://greatfirewallofchina.org/test/
1 billion people deprived of my wit, how unjust.
Last night was semi-literate, equipment hog night at the gym.
How hard is it to match the numbers on the dumbbells to the numbers on the rack?
In an environment in which equipment is shared you cannot do immediate transitions to different exercises. Sorry. Yeah, I'm talking about you Ms. hoard the 12.5 pound dumbbells while doing your step ups! I could have done my 12 reps and two other people could have done 12 reps each by the time you switched to the exercise that required the 12.5 pound dumbbells. The most time that you would have to wait between exercises is 30 seconds except when there are dumbbell hogging idiots around. Get a home gym if you want to immediately switch exercises or do body weight calisthenics instead.
Today's comics:
Comics page editors have so much great material to choose from but yet Cathy and Drabble are still in the papers. I want blinky lights on my shoes.
Another cartoonist breaks the fourth wall. The girl's brother is grappling with the implications of what his sister just did.
Get out of my head! Who has been sending this cartoonist my fantasies?
Vera run! A nicer apartment is not worth your soul! You can hang pictures, paint or even wall paper a bit. A few plants can help make your present dwelling habitable. My god, Mary Worth already has her soul sucking face on. Vera, that finger of death can poke straight through your sternum.
Spring Break is over and I'm back at work. I really needed the break. Tuesday before the break I packed my running shoes in my gym bag. I got to the gym and discovered that I had one of each of two different shoes. I ran with the Asics on my left foot and the Nike on my right foot. At least this was better than the time I packed two right shoes.
I love the random fits of insanity that the characters display in Ballard Street. Not everyone's kind of humor but I find it hilarious.
The old needs to make way for the new.
Can Vera afford an apartment at Charterstone? She's probably depressed about the crappy apartment locater service she used. Probably convinced her that the cracked plaster is that "shabby chic" that all the trendy interior designers are talking about.
Send in the clones! With so much brilliance to choose from why is Momma, Cathy, B.C., Wizard of Id, Marvin and Drabble still in the papers? There is no reason for mediocrity on the comics page.
I'm trying a centered layout so that my comments match with the comic.
Standing close to the edge of what's allowed in the papers.
Singing is not the only thing Daddy does in the shower.
How can I meddle? Geez, Mary, let the guy answer a question before bombarding him with another. The unseen third panel: Ben responding to Mary's last question, "None of your damned business, you meddling old hag."
Ruthie had gone insane and she knows how to take apart and put back together a toy. Dad is frightened. Will they finally get some help for Ruthie?
Oh dear badly drawn god, I've been on the receiving end of a conversation just like this. It was a small dose of hell.
Nothing particularly interesting in the funnies. Ballard Street made me laugh out loud.
Took Loki to Petco to purchase some dog food and then I got the car washed and the oil changed. Loki's presence made the oil change guy uncomfortable. Loki enjoyed the attention he received from the people in the car wash waiting room. The car looks good. They got most of the dog hair out of the upholstery.
Finally, have some sunshine today. Ground is still soggy so Loki won't be going to the dog park.
I did not update last night because of a thunderstorm. I will do an update after I finish with this blog entry and another update this evening. I have the rest of the week off. I hope to get some things done at my pace.
The worst depiction of God I've ever seen. I thought it was some kind of troll, dwarf, ogre or other mythological character. Thank badly drawn God for captions.
WTF?!? Good badly drawn God, what the hell is going on in this Heathcliff cartoon? Oh badly drawn God, my head is spinning trying to figure this cartoon out. Can I squeeze in one more badly drawn God damn joke into this blog entry? Badly drawn God damn it! This is a bad way to begin a vacation.
First an icon:
Sartre said it better but he was French, not as funny and did not draw cartoons.
The sign in the lower right corner is a great touch. (Please inform the clerk if you are a nitwit. Thank You) My husband's employer should consider posting a sign like that. It would have to be bilingual.
The stories of stupidity does provide my husband with some entertainment and me with cartoon material. It is only funny after the nitwit has left. Dealing with the nitwit can be quite stressful during the encounter.
The second funniest thing behind fart jokes - violent accidental almost killing. My husband can tell which shotgun can cause that much damage to an easy chair.
The Flintstones in modern times.
I've often wondered how one becomes a motivational speaker. I'm not talking about people that have accomplished something in another field then asked to become speakers. I'm talking about people like Anthony Robbins and Brian Tracy. As far as my research has shown neither of these men have achieved success in other fields. They are famous only as motivational speakers/ success gurus. They have achieved success by convincing others that they understand the keys to success and for a price will share the secrets to success. The hard part would be convincing the first person to purchase your material.
Prospect: So you know the keys to success?
Guru: Yes, yes I do!
Prospect: Give me some examples of success that you have achieved using these keys.
Guru: Well, uh, this is my first business and you are my first student but it is all right here in my book, DVDs and Cd's. Everything you need to know in order to succeed.
Prospect: Call me after you have achieved success.
A vulture has to do what a vulture has to do in order to survive.
Clever gag. I wish I thought of it.
I did not update last night. I was tired last night and did not feel like getting out of bed early this morning to update. It takes a couple of days to get the hang of the time change. I have some time off coming. I need it. I've been easily distracted lately.
I would use this excuse if I were a bus driver or better, an ice cream truck driver. Can't get in trouble if the kids don't get ice cream. If the kids don't make it to school, big trouble. I don't think for a minute that they are learning anything other than the stuff on the standardized test but at least they are in one place for a while rather than roaming the streets.
I need to go clothes shopping more often so that I can understand this cartoon. I need to buy some new pants. Too bad the artist did not draw examples of "editor" and "publicist" style pants so that I can determine whether or not this will be one more source of frustration when I shop for pants. My pants needs are simple: two legs, fly on the front, the hem lands at minimum on the top of my feet, pockets, straight legs, waist lands somewhere between my navel and hip bones, machine washable, and not required to purchase accessories, peripherals or shoes just to wear them.
The best daylight savings time cartoon. I'm amazed that Mark Parisi can come up with this brilliant stuff day after day.
Who still owns a little radio without headphones? Maybe that's why the old man is pissed off - some kid using a transistor radio. From the balloon coming out of the radio, the kid must be listening to some form of punk bluegrass. That would make me take up my cane and start cursing at the top of my lungs.
Cartoonists cannot help themselves. The fourth wall demands to be breached occasionally. It's funny most of the time but there are some cartoonists that can still screw it up.
This week I ran 15.27 miles, burned 1721.2 calories and weigh 169.5 pounds.
Sunday: 13.1 miles in 2:23:15
Tuesday: 2.17 miles in 25:00
Today, I hit the garage sales with Walter and volunteered at pet adoptions. I'm temp fostering Pickles. Loki is thrilled. I shot some video of them playing together. I also shot some video at adoptions.
The fun part is editing the video.
I think I'm addicted to YouTube.
It looks Aldo is receiving a platitude laden postmortem fuck you.
Bonus icons:
Icon 1: Every time I meddle, I touch myself!
Icon 2: Now bend over and relax.
My only hope is that Ella is stringing Mary along. Just as Mary is about to release her guilt, Ella channels Aldo and forces Mary to face the inky dark blackness of her soul.
Who am I kidding? This is "Mary Worth". I'll read on Monday and find that the story has moved on or Ella is still dispensing the platitudes.
What has happened to me? Why do I care about this comic strip?
My God, my life is so full of trivial concerns. Better than the bitter struggle for survival. Or is it?
First two bonus icons:
The first one is from F Minus, a usually funny comic strip and the second icon is our old pal Mary Worth trying to show remorse. May have played a role in Aldo's death? Mary, your rejection was the ignition. The smoldering cigarette butt carelessly thrown out the car window that started the forest fire.
Ella, I hate you. You have no authority to grant absolution. Only Mary's own higher truth has the authority.
