Edward Gorey Does Star Trek

What Trouble with Tribbles would have looked like if Edward Gorey drew it.

From Shaenon K. Garrity (http://www.webcomicsnation.com/shaenongarrity/smithson/series.php)

Biddy Punch

Stanley is holding his man teats.


Mary is preparing a knuckle sandwich in panel two. Nothing is worse than a biddy punch across the jaw. What will you tell the people in the emergency room?

Oregon?

You're Oregon!

When people talk about peace in the valley, they often think of you.
After all, you've inspired countless people to traverse rough terrain in search of you
and even think about you when playing popular computer games. Are you really up to all
the hype or are you all wet? You take shelter from the storm beneath trees, felled by
either loggers or beavers. If you were a shade of pink, it would be salmon.


Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I've never visited or lived in Oregon. I knew a couple of people from there.

One Shred of Hope

Better than 9 inch nails. Ba-da-bump!

Momma hoped her youngest son is a drag queen?

As a Star Trek fan I'm obligated to point out Trek sightings in the comics page. A very poor caricature of young William Shatner.

How not to do tech support

Wow, poor Les is having some serious sleep deprivation hallucinations. The really weird part is that they don't own a cat.

Uh-oh! Indeed. Wonder why Dr. Drew thinks he could have just do his passive dump of Dawn Weston when she lives in the same building as Vera Shields and Mary Worth? This situation is too complicated for a simple intervention. [cue voice of Waylon Jennings] How is Mary Worth gonna meddle her way out of this one?

Jeremy is really pushing the parental limits regarding their tolerance of his snarkiness toward them.

Last night, Walter had the twice yearly conversation with our Internet provider (was Myriad, became TCA, became Cox and is now SuddenLink) regarding our IPs. We pay for two IPs but twice a year we get cut down to one. One computer can get on while the other cannot. Restart everything. The computer that turns on first acquires the IP. Make phone call. Tech support looks at account, sees two IPs and makes the corrections and all is right for the next 6 months.

This is the first time this conversation has occurred under SuddenLink ownership. They replaced the relatively efficient Cox techs with retards (I don't mean this in the short bus/ Special Olympic sense but rather in the sense that this tech refused to think - a voluntary form of retardation). Walter carefully explained the problem to the tech and mentioned that this is a twice a year problem. Since the speaker was turned on the phone I heard both sides of the conversation. While Walter attempted to explain the problem, the tech tried to talk over him and Walter had to raise his voice to get him to stop and listen. The tech believed the problem was with a net card and refused to listen, think, look up our account or do anything to shake his belief in the net card problem. (Insert religion metaphor here)

A side note: during the semi yearly conversation the subject of a router comes up. A bit of advice in serving customers - it's none of your business why we don't use a router. We pay for two IPs and would like to have what we pay for. Your business is to make sure we have the service we pay for so shut up about the damn router.

Walter gave up on the call to the tech because he could not convince the tech that the problem had nothing to do with the net card and the tech gave up because of his belief in the mythological net card problem that was beyond his scope. Walter had to call again and got another tech because the retarded tech had really screwed up our connection. Connection restored with a single IP. The new tech couldn't help Walter with restoring the second IP so Walter worked on the problem on his own and got both of our computers connected to the Internet.

We will purchase a router this weekend but I wonder how many phone calls and e-mails it will take to get them to stop charging us for two IPs. I don't look forward to making the "We got the fucking router that your techs keeping asking about every time we call to demand service that we pay for so we no longer need the two IPs so stop charging us for them!" phone call. I don't like raising my voice at service people because nobody needs that kind of abuse but sometimes it is the only way to get some people to focus their thoughts on solving a particular problem.

First Day of Class

Why does the equipment decide to malfunction on the first day of class? The sound in my classroom went bad. It worked perfectly last week. Nothing changed. So why should it screw up at the beginning of some guy's prelims?

Technicians came, problem fixed for about 15 minutes then resumed. I had a back up. Speaker phone!

This was the least chaotic first day of class in my 10 years at this university. One brain fart (I had the wrong date in my head for another tech to resolve a less serious problem. I thought I needed to move a class but the tech is scheduled for one of the open slots.) and one technology snafu. Not a bad first day. [WARNING ICKY FEMALE STUFF!] The first day of my period has gone by with little discomfort. Nothing that a handful of ibuprofen could not handle. A day of all kinds of firsts. [END OF ICKY FEMALE STUFF]

This takes care of Monday, Wednesday and Friday classes. Tomorrow, Tuesday and Thursday classes with one at 8:00 am.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Darn, the U.S. military's don't ask, don't tell. If gays could serve openly perhaps Sarge and Beetle can express their affection for each other in a healthy way and still keep their military career.

This is not a marriage - it is two crazy people sharing a house - an asylum for two. One is dangerously psychotic and the other just kind of loony.

They always are good stories but then people starting taking the stories seriously and then act on whatever lessons they think the stories are telling them. The whole thing becomes quite ugly.

Today, classes begin. Not so chaotic so far. At least I did not have an 8:00 am class in my classroom today. I had some time to do a few things.

I'm redesigning my website using CSS and clean and updated code. I'm moving away from FrontPage (I have FrontPage 2000. I will still use the auto-thumbnail feature unless someone can point me to something that can do that. Preferably something free. Check out any of my clip art pages to see how I use the thumbnail feature.) The site is rather large and some pages will be eliminated from the site altogether. Right now, I'm doing minimal updates on the cartoons and clip art and have put other projects on hold. I'm working on both sites at the simultaneously. I hope to have something somewhat complete enough to publish by the end of September. It will take longer to fully integrate the whole site. Talking over 1,500 cartoons and a lot of clip art here. New cartoons and clip art will go up on schedule. The Sears Catalog and Betty Crocker sections will be part of the new design.

Running Log

This week I ran 20.58 miles, burned 2,594 calories and weigh 178.3 pounds. I'm a bit concerned about the general upward trend in my weight this year. I wonder if I can convince my doctor to run a thyroid test? I've got a few years of tracking my weight to back up my concerns. It's a small gain in the grand scheme of things but it has happened rather suddenly. Last year, I rarely topped 170. This year I rarely go below 175. I started 2007 at 167 pounds. I hope the doctor doesn't just dismiss it as just getting older. It would ease my mind to figure out what is going on here.

Monday: 30 minutes on the elliptical machine - 2.20 miles
Wednesday: 6.92 miles - speed work
Sunday: 10.21 miles in 2:10:14

Next week's training plan:
Monday: 30 minutes of easy running
Tuesday: weight training
Wednesday: Tempo Run, 7 miles, 4 miles @ 10:59
Thursday: rest
Friday: weight training
Saturday: rest
Sunday: 12 miles @ 12:31

Sunday Morning Run

I have one more Sunday morning run planned, then it's back to my Saturday morning schedule. Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 353 ft Location: Bryan, TX Elev. Gain: +0 ft Date: 08/26/07 Up/Downhill: [+259/-259] Time: 06:28 AM Difficulty: 3.4 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 78F temp; 90% humidity 83F heat index; winds Calm Performance Distance: 10.21 miles Goal: 12' 31 min/mi pace for 10 miles Time: 2:10:14 Speed: 4.7 mph Attained: 100% Pace: 12' 45 /mi Calories: 1300 Notes I tried Accelerade on this run. It's a new sports drink geared toward endurance athletes. It's supposed to aid in recovery as well as keep you going. I find myself less sore and tired after this run than last week's run. I also set my pace alerts to 30 second deviation. I heard the speed up signal 3 times and the slow down signal once. The last half mile is the hardest. Map Elevation (ft.) Pace (min/mile) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 12' 33 -0' 12 4.8 +0.1 -16 ft 2 12' 54 +0' 09 4.7 -0.1 -3 ft 3 12' 36 -0' 09 4.8 +0.1 +17 ft 4 12' 28 -0' 17 4.8 +0.1 -45 ft 5 13' 20 +0' 35 4.5 -0.2 +16 ft 6 12' 50 +0' 05 4.7 -0.0 +19 ft 7 12' 36 -0' 09 4.8 +0.1 0 ft 8 13' 02 +0' 17 4.6 -0.1 -4 ft 9 12' 42 -0' 03 4.7 +0.0 -10 ft 10 12' 19 -0' 26 4.9 +0.2 +13 ft end 14' 17 +1' 32 4.2 -0.5 +6 ft Versus average of 12' 45 min/mi

Posted from bimactive.com

Friday Photo Blogging

This yellow flower is growing on the third step leading to the building where I work. A little soil and a small seed and a bit of determination. I'm glad that the custodians have allowed it to grow.

My reflection from the back of a SUV sporting these two fish. The Texas A&M (aTm) fish is a variant I have not seen before. I have seen plenty of Jesus fish amputees. It's always the one pointing toward the ground that gets lost. This one has adapted by adopting a friend.

We'd Like to Not Work

My career objective: to get as much money as possible in exchange for as little work as possible.

Drew has put on his total wuss war paint in the second panel.

New Plugger species! What do the owl people eat? Is this a night court?

I heard a nice affirmation, yesterday. The cashier at Blimpie looked familiar and she said she went to my church but hasn't gone lately because of a lack of transportation. I gave her my phone and e-mail and told her to call me if she needed a ride. Anyway her boss, chimed in, oh yeah, you go to that awesome church! That particular Blimpie owner has catered a few events at church and knows a couple of members. It was a nice thing to hear from someone who does not attend. Being located in College Station (home of Texas A&M and the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library), we sometimes get a bunker mentality. We are coming out of our shell. No need to stay in the closet anymore. People need us.

Comics, comics, comics

Letters have appeared in the local paper complaining about large dogs on the loose. The letters tend to be hysterical in tone and call for a breed ban (Rottweiler, Pit Bull). The large dogs do not bother me. Most owners of large dogs in my neighborhood demonstrate responsibility by keeping their dogs in the backyard or restrained in some way. They follow the leash laws. The people who need reminding of leash laws are the owners of toy breeds. Having a little dog nipping at your ankles while running is quite annoying. I need to write a letter to the editor about that.

Poor Spot. I wish I lived on Ballard Street. A people who have a facade of normality but yet unafraid to display their goofiness.

I thought of Ms. Theologian when I saw this cartoon. I'm living my dream - sitting in a cold office and recording a video about elk calls. I get the edit the video into smaller chunks once I have captured the whole thing. Elk calls are annoying. Trust me on this.

A cool part of this job is my computer is powerful enough to allow me to capture a video and do other things. I do have my own office with full walls and a window. If I had to do aspects of this job in a cube farm my co-workers would have legitimate grounds to beat me. Seriously, elk calls are fucking annoying. Yes, I have the volume turned down low. I don't have it completely off so that I can hear when the video ends.

F Minus illustrates the future. Eventually, all bar stool will be shaped that way.

TJ has other facial expressions!

Call an ambulance! We have a suicidal person on the premises!

I need some upgrades

See What You're Made Of - Visit The Official Site

My best score was on the "running" test

Delusions of comedy

The rock's original punch line was, "I'm stoned". I thought, "I have no f*ck*ng arms!" was funnier. Not that good a gag to begin with so improvement proved difficult.

Spent most of yesterday evening watching My Life on the D List with Kathy Griffin. Managed to cook something and put clean clothes on the bed. Did not make it as far as folding and putting up the clean clothes. I posted the above cartoon.

I'm trying to get through the wall of sleepiness that hits me from 9:30 am to 11:00 am. Pretty amazing that I can be so sleepy despite the Arctic conditions in my office. I'm surprised I have not destroyed a few bras with my nipples.

I also watched a little bit of Last Comic Standing. I watch a fair amount of stand-up comedy. Have become a bit of a comedy snob. The fart and dick jokes always get a laugh but other than that I can be quite a snob. I no longer find Carlos Mencia funny. Too much "I'm going so say something really rude!" and "Freedom of speech!" Carlos Mencia has some humorous takes on race and class relations and his ethnicity allows him to bring it up. He stops being funny to me when he lets the message supersede the joke.

I watch a lot of stand-up and often think I could do that. I often dream of doing stand-up and occasionally make a few baby steps toward that goal - write some jokes, maybe try putting something on YouTube, putting together a bit for the church coffee house and even think about traveling to a city where auditions for Last Comic Standing are happening (Is that show still on the air? I caught it on Bravo.). People have told me that I am funny and that I should do it. Sometimes reality gets to me - do I really want to do this enough to go to crappy clubs and try to entertain drunks? Do I really want to do all that traveling? Can I handle the heckling? Do I really want to do this?

I think writing comedy would be a better choice for me. I write the jokes, someone else tells them.

For those who actually do stand-up, a few pointers from a comedy snob:

1. The majority of Americans do not live in Los Angeles or New York City. The L.A./ NYC jokes don't play well in Dallas.
2. A few ethnicity/ religion specific jokes are okay but don't make it the whole act. The nun nightmare stories get a bit old. (Maybe there are no known UU comedians because our religion does not provide sufficient fodder - one can only tell so many coffee jokes. Growing up, I went to UU Religious Education every Sunday, oh my god, the horrors of learning tolerance and being allowed to form my own beliefs! All the snacks were organic! I was so jealous of the Baptist kids who got Twinkies during their Sunday Bible classes. One time someone brought organic Twinkies to RE but those tasted like free-range chicken shit.)
3. Dick and fart jokes are funny but again don't make it the whole act.
4. I don't give a shit about your children. And if your partner is so damn psychotic - leave! The drama is not worth the material.
5. White comedians, if you should appear on a BET comedy show, just be your funny self - no need to pander to the audience. (It would be funny if you made fun of the white person in the front row just like all the black comedians - turn the cliche around. That is part of a bit I wrote - stand up comedy through correspondence school - white girl gets the black comic edition and does the cliche stuff but delivers it stereotypically white as possible.)
6. Just spouting random pop cultural references does not make an act - substance please.
7. Profanity - use it appropriately

Do not use any of the jokes above without permission and credit, please.

Life Updates

I do other things besides run, take online quizzes, and read comics.

Walter's father is doing better. He is lucid and finished with his radiation treatment.

Aurora got an adoption application. She could be in her new home as early as Wednesday.

Loki has been part of our family for a year now.

The church board retreat was very productive and I'm excited about the future of the church. Rev. Eric preached his first sermon to a packed house on Sunday. The church in San Antonio sent a nice letter and the board president read it out loud.

Universalism in the funnies

Frank looks like Jimmy Carter.

This is a rather simple explanation of Universalism. I don't think Universalists believed everyone automatically got into heaven but they did not believe in the automatic condemnation of humanity. The entrance requirements are not as strict in Universalism. God is just too loving to condemn for eternity simply because a person failed to embrace or was ignorant of a certain idea.

Open-mindedness

I'm not surprised by the score or the commentary.

Your Score: Liberal

You scored 60% Talk the Talk and 35% Walk the Walk!

You have a lot of things to say about embracing difference, but when it comes to living your own life, you keep pretty firmly on the straight and narrow. This isn't necessarily a bad thing - you're perfectly willing to let other people do as they wish, but you know what works for you, and that's a pretty tradional lifestyle. And hey, being open-minded includes being open to more traditional styles of life as well, right?

Still, you may want to ask yourself... are you really all that open-minded, or do you quietly judge those around you? If the latter is true, be careful... people pick up on that a lot more than you might think!

Link: The Are you REALLY open-minded? Test written by mypomolife on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Calvin and Hobbes

Your Score: A Bit Of Both

You are 50% Calvin and 50% Hobbes

Calvin & Hobbes, like a scruffy yin and yang, are in perfect balance within you. Like Calvin, you're weird, a bit insecure, and can be a trouble-maker. But like Hobbes, you're down to earth and sensitive. It's a risk to say it here, after just a ten question test, but I'll bet you're smarter than most. Both Calvin and Hobbes are crafty, clever characters, and any one made from equal parts of each is a force to be reckoned with.

Link: The Calvin Or Hobbes Test written by gwendolynbooks on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Running Log

This week I ran 20.99 miles, burned 2748.5 calories and weigh 175.8 pounds.

Monday: 3.1 miles in 35:00
Wednesday: 7.33 miles in 1:31:40
Sunday: 9.18 miles in 1:57:40

Next week's plan:
Monday: 30 minute easy run
Tuesday: weight and calisthenics
Wednesday: Speed work - 3 x 1600m @ 10:16 w/ 800m jogs
Thursday: rest
Friday: weight and calisthenics
Saturday: rest
Sunday: 10 miles @ 12:31

9 Mile Run

Ran today instead of Saturday. Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 358 ft Location: Bryan, TX Elev. Gain: +0 ft Date: 08/19/07 Up/Downhill: [+255/-255] Time: 06:31 AM Difficulty: 3.3 / 5.0 Weather: Mostly Cloudy 78F temp; 93% humidity 84F heat index; winds S 3 Performance Distance: 9.18 miles Goal: 12' 31 min/mi pace for 9 miles Time: 1:57:40 Speed: 4.7 mph Attained: 100% Pace: 12' 49 /mi Calories: 1168 Notes I sort of hit a wall on mile 6. My mind wandered and the mileage alarm on the phone woke me up. The first 5 miles were amazing. Map Elevation (ft.) Pace (min/mile) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 12' 20 -0' 29 4.9 +0.2 -20 ft 2 12' 22 -0' 27 4.8 +0.2 +6 ft 3 11' 58 -0' 51 5.0 +0.3 +3 ft 4 12' 17 -0' 32 4.9 +0.2 +6 ft 5 12' 25 -0' 24 4.8 +0.1 -19 ft 6 13' 16 +0' 27 4.5 -0.2 +23 ft 7 13' 21 +0' 32 4.5 -0.2 0 ft 8 13' 04 +0' 15 4.6 -0.1 -27 ft 9 13' 16 +0' 27 4.5 -0.2 +19 ft end 19' 32 +6' 43 3.1 -1.6 +9 ft Versus average of 12' 49 min/mi

Posted from bimactive.com

Interesting Thing on the Web

Interesting thing I found on the web:

WORDCOUNT/ Tracking the way we use language

WordCount™ is an artistic experiment in the way we use language. It presents the 86,800 most frequently used English words, ranked in order of commonness. Each word is scaled to reflect its frequency relative to the words that precede and follow it, giving a visual barometer of relevance. The larger the word, the more we use it. The smaller the word, the more uncommon it is. The most common word: the; the least common: conquistador

Popeye the Sailor Man

Interesting story from another blog: http://www.danielharper.org/blog/?p=981

Rich Hall in one of his "Sniglets" books from the 1980's referred to it as barcuuming - using the dog as a vacuum cleaner. I use Loki like that from time to time. I don't spill that much on the floor. Loki's first adoption anniversary approaches. I will see to it he receives something special.
Drew and Vera enjoying a meal at one of those fancy revolving wall restaurants.Does reading homoerotic undertones in Popeye's statement in panel two indicate a mental problem? Does using the terms "homoerotic" and "Popeye" in the same sentence indicate even more serious problems? The implied homo-eroticism in panel 2 caused me to ignore Olive's exorcist like movements in panel 3. I need to get my mind out of the gutter.

I Think I've Earned an Ice Cream

On this date, Wednesday, August 15, 2007, I laughed out loud at a Beetle Bailey comic strip.

Kettle meet Pot. Pot meet Kettle.

I say the same thing (I think I've earned an ice cream) after a long run.

Oops! Someone forgot to finish coloring Mallard's head!

Wednesday Morning Tempo Run

Woke up an hour early and got it out of the way. Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 358 ft Location: Bryan, TX Elev. Gain: +0 ft Date: 08/15/07 Up/Downhill: [+144/-144] Time: 05:24 AM Difficulty: 2.6 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 81F temp; 76% humidity 86F heat index; winds Calm Performance Distance: 7.33 miles Goal: 7 miles Time: 1:31:40 Speed: 4.8 mph Attained: 104% Pace: 12' 30 /mi Calories: 939 Notes I'm not much of a morning person but with the high heat index I thought it would be prudent to get up an hour earlier and run in the morning. Nothing like the risk of heat stroke to motivate me to get out of bed early. Did not attain the 10:59 tempo that I had planned but I'm okay with the fact that I was able to maintain a less than 11:30 pace for 4 miles and maintain a consistent pace for that distance. The morning temps were not too bad. Running on a country road in the dark was quite interesting. The only light came from a pole marking the entrance to someone's driveway. It was like running in a tunnel toward the light. I noticed my posture was a bit more upright in the darkness because I looked forward rather than to the ground. Map Elevation (ft.) Pace (min/mile) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 13' 34 +1' 04 4.4 -0.4 -19 ft 2 11' 15 -1' 15 5.3 +0.5 +7 ft 3 11' 24 -1' 06 5.3 +0.5 0 ft 4 11' 25 -1' 05 5.3 +0.5 +6 ft 5 11' 27 -1' 03 5.2 +0.4 -3 ft 6 13' 57 +1' 27 4.3 -0.5 -26 ft 7 12' 45 +0' 15 4.7 -0.1 +30 ft end 17' 54 +5' 24 3.4 -1.4 +6 ft Versus average of 12' 30 min/mi

Posted from bimactive.com

I am so tired right now. Thank God for Vault. The big bucket of high fructose corn syrup, caffeine water that I got at Taco Cabana is the only thing keeping me going at the moment. I'm glad I have my own office and that my job is mostly sedentary. Maybe I can sneek in a quick snooze. I'm waiting for the surge of energy that supposed to keep me going for the rest of the day. That's what the experts claim as a benefit of morning exercise. I better be burning a shitload of calories. At least I will get to bed early tonight and sleep well.

Two quizzes

How White and Nerdy Are You?


Which File Extension are You?

10K - Ha!

I suspect the balding runner is messing with Nate's dad. A 10K is challenging but hardly a gut wrenching affair unless something has gone wrong.

I don't "Shake hands with the PAIN!", I gently embrace it and then stick a knife in its belly.

The background people are more interesting than the main characters. The main characters in this particular strip are so uninteresting that they have become background people.

Is that Mr. Gary Dent in the foreground having dinner with another woman?