Boo!

Will King Features please hire someone to check the art continuity between the panels of Mary Worth? This will leave me nothing to gripe about but I'm willing to make the sacrifice. Is that Professor Cameron's more mellow twin brother? Can Giella draw a beard and mustache on the same face?

Yo Mama's so fat that time slows down around her!

I make similar sloshing noises when I go for a long run. The noises come from my water bottle. Sometimes I hear slapping noises but I won't tell you where those come from.

Creepy!

I look forward to receiving Trick or Treaters. Walter has decorated the house and I carved two cool Jack O'Lanterns. One of the Jack O'Lanterns went to church because it has a flaming chalice design carved into it. I will post pictures.

After Halloween, the flaming chalice Jack O'Lantern will become a major flaming chalice.

Think about Crock

Mr. Giella, thank you for not drawing Mary Worth wearing bicycle shorts and shirt.
How did Mary get her hair into that helmet?
Where did the fence go in the second panel?
How can Mary have a flashback to an event she did not witness?

Oh my! The scary ass chicken appears again!

If you need to stop song playing in your head, think about this Crock episode. Really think long and hard about this Crock. Think beyond the borders. Think about the cook's methods. Think about this Crock. The song has gone away.

Sweet Tranvestite from Transexual Transylvania

She's more upset that he looks better in the black dress than she does. She should be proud of the effort he put in. Most guys would just put on the dress and be done with it but this guy went above and beyond. If you read Flight Deck you know what sort of shape the lead male character is in and can appreciate the marvel of engineering required to mold the his figure into that dress. This is a man that respects the art of drag enough to put so much effort into his costume.

After some reflection maybe the wife will appreciate all the effort but right now she is still irritated that he looks much better in that dress then she ever did.

Exercise Log

Last week I ran and biked 28.88 miles, burned 2,815 calories and weigh 174.5 pounds.

Monday: ran 5.24 miles in 1:05:00
Tuesday: biked 3.59 miles in 20:00
Wednesday: ran 5.64 miles in 1:05:00
Thursday: biked 3.70 miles in 20:00
Saturday: ran 10.71 miles in 2:05:38

This week's plan:
Monday - 1 hour run at 12:16 (marathon pace)
Tuesday - 20 minutes cycling and strength training
Wednesday - go home and get ready for trick or treaters
Thursday - Tempo run - 6 miles, 3 @ 10:39
Friday - walk dog
Saturday - 1.5 hour run @ 12:16

Saturday Run

Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 348 ft Location: Bryan, TX Elev. Gain: +0 ft Date: 10/27/07 Up/Downhill: [+262/-262] Time: 04:53 PM Difficulty: 2.7 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 67 F temp; 50% humidity 67 F heat index; winds N 7 Performance Distance: 10.71 miles Goal: 12' 16 min/mi pace for 02:00:00 duration Time: 2:05:38 Speed: 5.1 mph Attained: 104% Pace: 11' 43 /mi Calories: 1382 Notes After a couple of less than satisfactory long runs I decided to run for time instead of distance to see if I could hold a certain pace for an extended amount of time. It looks like I can in pleasant conditions. I felt good and could have gone longer. I'm feeling more confident about San Antonio. Elevation (ft) Pace (min/mile) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- goal actual +/- goal 1 11' 21 -0' 55 5.3 +0.4 -39 ft 2 11' 52 -0' 24 5.0 +0.2 +3 ft 3 11' 19 -0' 57 5.3 +0.4 +30 ft 4 11' 43 -0' 33 5.1 +0.2 -29 ft 5 11' 52 -0' 24 5.0 +0.2 -6 ft 6 13' 27 +1' 11 4.5 -0.4 +13 ft 7 12' 39 +0' 23 4.7 -0.2 +23 ft 8 11' 30 -0' 46 5.2 +0.3 -7 ft 9 11' 19 -0' 57 5.3 +0.4 +13 ft 10 10' 41 -1' 35 5.6 +0.7 -20 ft end 11' 10 -1' 06 5.4 +0.5 +16 ft Versus goal of 12' 16 min/mile

Posted from bimactive.com

Mary Worth Kung Fu Fighting

I had this song and idea stuck in my head for two days. I spent the afternoon getting it out. Now, it is stuck in your head.

Lisa's Legacy

I believe a term exists for newborn doggies. Puppies, you little giant headed retard!


You on the far right of the second panel! You are not smirking correctly! If you wish to remain in Funky Winkerbean you must learn to smirk. Who let this guy on the set!?

Updates, finally

I used an alternate method for updating my website.
Vera, you call those jazz hands! My arthritic mother can do more enthusiastic jazz hands.

Mary's unseen thought balloon in panel one: And why did you choose to perform Tai Chi right now?

Vera does a Kung Fu bow in the second panel after she knocked Mary down. How else could Vera end up in the position she has in the second panel? Damn, you Giella for refusing to draw the exciting Kung Fu action.

Drew should consider writing Vera a check for a large amount of money. It worked for Von.

The final cartoon from the contest. No winners, I thought of this myself. The Pak'Ma'Ra' is a species from Babylon 5 that dined on carrion. If you laughed without the explanation then you are a geek. This cartoon is in the archives. For the past three days I continued to update the site even though I could not upload the changes. Optimistic or insane? I don't know.

Lesson learned: don't solicit gags from blog readers, especially when your blog as about 8 readers. The solicitation does free my mind for thinking of gags on my own.

Vera Shields, Jedi Master

Vera attempts to use her Jedi powers on Mary Worth. This irritates the geriatric dark lord of the Sith. She will have to teach Vera a lesson about the power of the dark side of the Force.

What has she got under that desk?
Besides, a true Trek geek would have listed Klingon as a second language. There's an institute and translations of several books.

It's funny in a surreal sense but this is Heathcliff. So what's the gag?

More Update News

Ipower is doing maintenance on some servers. Found this out after a long time on hold. I cannot access the server which has my website so still no updated cartoon.

Which Sci-Fi Crew Would You Best Fit In With?

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in with? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) You are a light and humorous person. No one can help but to smile to your wit. Now if only the improbability drive would stop turning you into weird stuff. Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) 88% Moya (Farscape) 88% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 81% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 81% Serenity (Firefly) 75% SG-1 (Stargate) 75% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 69% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 69% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 56% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 50% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 50% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 44% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 38%

Cartoon Update

I'm unable to access the server which hosts my website. I've tried at home and work. I will wait and see if the problem sorts itself out before contacting my web space provider.

I've tried via FTP program (FTP Commander) and Windows Explorer.

I need to contact my provider anyway to change some of my contact information.

Start up weekend

The church had its start up weekend. It is something that happens whenever a UU church calls a new minister. This was facilitated by the District Executive.

Friday we went over church history, significant moments, and discovered a couple of recurring themes. The entire congregation was invited to this event. 35 out of about 100 members attended.

The Saturday workshop involved the Committee on Ministry, the Board and standing (those listed in our by-laws) Committee Chairs.

This workshop was quite unusual in that I got a lot of substantive things out of it. A fair amount not directly church related.

In list form, the things I got out of this:
WARNING: Contains UU jargon

1. Instead of focusing on becoming a "program" church, we should focus on becoming an excellent "pastoral" church. (more information about the quoted terms can be found here). Excellence will allow us to grow and then deal with the transition to "program" if it happens. If we never get beyond the 150 or so mark at least those 150 people will have a wonderful place to worship and to have their needs met.
2. Gained an understanding about why leaders in the church sometimes repeat things and others still don't get it even after several explanations. The leaders have dealt with their feelings and are comfortable with the ideas whereas the rest are still grappling with their feelings and explaining the ideas does not help in dealing with the feelings.
3. Be very mindful of the stories we tell each other and outsiders. An incomplete story caused some serious distress and that distress was relieved by extra clarification. The incomplete story was short and sweet but did not reflect the whole truth and left a very negative impression. Leaders need to take the time to explain the whole thing rather than speak in shorthand.
4. Pay attention to actions vs. words.
5. Gained an understanding of why some would be opposed to changes and how to help those people through the transition.
6. Gained an understanding of the beliefs of our neo-pagan congregants. A gained a way to view their beliefs in way that I could understand.
7. Realized why atheists can be so damn annoying and why I'm hesitant to apply the term to myself despite having similar beliefs. Not that anything I believe or do fits into any one neat label.
8. Learned what is gained from attending worship and why falling asleep during the service is not necessarily a bad thing.
9. Committees are not covenant or affinity groups. More information
10. There is some hard but exciting work ahead.
11. The minister's name always gets attached to a major change even if the minister was not involved. Not fair but we need to keep that in mind in implementing changes.

I'm still processing all this. Where can I get a copy of the Cambridge Platform? From what I've read and heard, this document is significant. No, where can I get an illustrated version of the Cambridge Platform? Maybe it is something that could serve as an UU version of a "Chick tract"

Exercise Log

This week I ran, cycled and walked 20.09 miles, burned 2003.2 calories and weigh 175.5 pounds

Tuesday: cycling - 1.86 miles in 15:00
Wednesday: ran - 7.08 miles in 1:25:00
Thursday: cycling - 2.52 miles in 15:00
Saturday: walk - 3.12 miles in 59:13
Sunday: ran - 5.51 miles in 1:17:21

I need to stay away from trails until after the marathon. During the 50K trail race (I was listed as DNF - I was not the only one) and my Sunday run (on a much easier set of trails) I experienced a very sharp pain on my Achilles tendon. After walking for a while the pain went away and I was able to resume running. I experienced a similar pain last year on a training run on roads. The pain was preceded by a popping sensation. Each time the pain went away after a bit of walking and did not return for the rest of the run. The recovery was faster on the road than the trails.

I still felt a bit tired from the big trail race and had some difficulty in keeping up my speed on Wednesday.

I should be fully recovered this week and resume appropriate intensity.

Next week's plan:
Monday: 1 hour run @ marathon pace (12:16/ mile)
Tuesday: 20 minutes cycling and calisthenics
Wednesday: 6 mile tempo run (3 @ 10:39)
Thursday: 20 minutes cycling and calisthenics
Friday: walking
Saturday: 8 miles or more @ 12:16
Sunday: rest

Frustration

Drew is so excited that he has to use both hands to hold the phone and cover the ear piece.
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Sometimes, I get a comic type character image stuck in my head and I have to draw it. I see the process in my mind's eye - curves of the lines, the motions of the pencil and pen, the final product. In my mind the process is very fluid and the final product amazing. So, why doesn't all this vivid imagery translate when I actually draw? The difference between vision and execution is a source of frustration for me.

It's sort of like driving. I took lessons, read books, passed the test, watched others drive and visualize backing out of the driveway smoothly but I still bump the mailbox or garbage can when actually backing out (this is a metaphor - I'm a good driver - the rut in the lawn that happens to be the same width as my tires, pure coincidence - I've never hit an object, person or animal).

The gulf between vision and execution also finds its way into other parts of my life.

I suppose if I keep drawing it will click, become fluid and vision and final product will match. I've been drawing for over 2 decades. Maybe I should accept that comic book is not my style. What to do about the compulsion to keep trying to draw that way? I don't know. I need to stop thinking about this. Otherwise, I end up in a "I suck" spiral that depresses me the rest of the day.

Yes, I now see that the hips are too elongated, even for a cartoon character. Not that freakish anatomy acts as a barrier to success. The existence of Ann Coulter bears that out.

Speaking of Ann Coulter, check out Maxim's suggestions for perfecting Ann Coulter.

The Community Shadow

I want Drew's swordfish t-shirt. I guess this is how the young doctor remains hip. The universe would have collapsed in on itself if Giella put this on Drew. That would be funny and we can't have intentional funny in Mary Worth.

Where is Drew calling from? Pink curtains and flowers in a bachelor's place?

Where has our title character been lately?
--------------------------------------------
I've been reading, "The Issue at Hand: Essays on Buddhist Mindfulness Practice" by Gil Fronsdal.

Yesterday, this passage jumped out at me:

As soon as a group of people gathers as a community, there is a culture, and cultures always have blind spots, or "shadows." If you avoid being involved with a community because it has a shadow, no community will ever be adequate. If you relate only to the light of a community, you are doing yourself a disservice. If you relate only to the shadow, you are also doing yourself a disservice.

Fronsdal refers to a sangha but I found it relevant to UU church community. People in true community should not be afraid to display both their light and shadow.

I was reminded of the shadow aspect of the UU religion by this blog posting. It was not the first time I read such sentiments. Often we forget that our political views are as diverse as our theologies.

Sophistication

I like to pretend that I'm a cultured, sophisticated person. Then I listen to some John Coltrane and come to the realization that I'm not so cultured and sophisticated. Sometimes his music sounds like gibberish to me. Sounds like some child just blowing random notes on the saxophone while other children bang on the drums and piano as back up.

I enjoy jazz (not an enthusiast and could only name one living jazz performer. I get my exposure via Pandora) but sometimes find the improvisations rather tedious. Right now, I'm listening to "Sportin' Crowd" by Art Blakely and the Jazz Messengers. Each instrumentalist is taking their turn at improvisation. Even the drummer.

I don't understand why improvisation in jazz is considered part of its richness while in other genres it's merely tedious (listen to all 20 minutes of Iron Butterfly's "In a Gadda-Da-Vida" for an example).

I hear people speak glowingly about this stuff and I wonder what defect I have that keeps me from getting it.

[Random thought]
What would be funny: Garrison Keillor accidentally ends up at a Larry the Cable Guy gig and vice-versa. If I had the power I would arrange that just to see what happens. I give Mr. Keillor 5 minutes and Mr. the Cable Guy 15.
[end of random thought]

I can walk among the worlds of the high brow and low brow but cannot bring myself to immerse myself completely in either world.

I'm stronger

Crop Walk was very successful. The UU Church of the Brazos Valley raised over $2,000. Don't know if we won the challenge from Friends Congregational. They raised a bit more money but the challenge was a per capita challenge so as a smaller congregation we might have won on that basis. It is still up in the air.

The CROP Walk coordinators welcomed us back and recognized some new organizations.

Loki did well. He got a bit excited upon seeing another dog and nearly knocked down some people with his leash at the beginning. He calmed down after the first mile. About halfway he found a nice puddle and decided to lay in it for a while. He made it through, got some attention, ice cream and water.

As for the Saturday 50K. I did not finish. I ran about 20 miles.

I missed a turning point and ran over 4 miles of trail twice. I was timed at 5 hours and 21 minutes when I made it to the finish line.

I was quite frustrated with my slow pace and by mile 14 decided to cut it short. At a lot of places on the trail I felt I was running faster than my timing indicated. It was 4 hours and I was not halfway done. I did not want to be out there after 3:00 pm. I called my husband to let him know that I would be at the finish in about 45 minutes, assuming I could complete the last mile and a half in that time. Then missing a turn really added to the frustration. He called when I was not at the finish line and I told him that I thought I missed a turn and I was doing a part of the trail again but I knew where that trail would lead eventually. He kept calling to try to help the race people figure out where I was. They did figure it out and I found a point on the trail where I was able to get off and get to a location where I could be picked up. A truck picked me up and I rode about .75 miles. The driver of the truck allowed me to get out and I ran to the finish line. I'm not sure how my results will get recorded.

I wasn't the only who missed the turn. Some of the others doubled back but I didn't. The race director thinks a sign might have been knocked down while doing an extraction the night before.

At least I ran my 20 mile long run for training for the San Antonio Marathon. I can taper with a clear conscience.

I think my less that satisfactory performance was because I was not preparing for this race but just using this race to prepare for another one. I have run these trails faster and in more brutal temperatures.

I realized that I don't enjoy trail running as much as road racing. The tripping, isolation and wrong turn did not enhance my trail running experience. It will be a long time before I attempt a 50K on a trail. I really prefer road racing.

Saturday night enjoyed a nice margarita. My feet hurt but I did not care.

I'm at home resting. My calves are sore.

It did not kill me therefore I must be stronger.

Loki come here

Reminds that old Bill Cosby bit where he describes himself thinking that for the first few years of his life his name was Jesus Christ and his brother's was Damnit.

Loki recognizes his name very well. He even understands what I want him to do by the tone I say his name. He could probably do some great things if both of us had some training. I think Loki is very intuitive. After the San Antonio marathon I want to see about enrolling in a training class and Loki earning a Canine Good Citizen certificate. I think it would go a long way in eradicating the fear some people have of bully breeds.

Oh come on! Finish the damn drawing before sending it to the syndicate! A corkscrew, knife, bottle opener and nail file sticking out of the Swiss Army cheese would have made the gag somewhat funny. Did drawing all the other details make Tom Wilson too tired to continue?

Maybe I misinterpreted the gag. The deli employees are just messing with people's heads. That sort of thing works better in real life than on the funny pages.

An unrelated question that will piss off a few people: Doesn't the Nobel Peace Prize usually go to people or organizations that work toward peace and justice? Al Gore and the UN Climate Change group are doing some good work but is it peace and justice work?

One month...

One month until the San Antonio Marathon of the Americas

Eep, two days until the Power Pedal Ride and Stride 50K Trail Run
I think I will switch back to my old insoles or buy a new pair of the same style. The new style insoles that I bought are causing blisters on the inside of my arches. I hope the gorgeous fall weather and lower temperatures hold out the entire weekend.

Three days until Crop Walk
The UU Church is now number one and the youth member online now is the number one fundraiser with the church. There are other walkers and more donations received offline. Brazos UU is making a big comeback to this event.

Happy National Coming Out Day!
I would love to design some greeting cards for that day. Anyone have any ideas?

Humor Gene

Tony Carillo is good. He has, what Scott Adams describes as the humor gene. His humor gene is highly developed. His and Mark Parisi's (Off the Mark).

I wonder what thought process leads to a clock so broken that it is right only once a day? Looking at it now, it seems like such an obvious gag. A bit of low hanging fruit. But no one else has thought of it. Or at least no one else thought to draw it or write it.

A more humor impaired type would say maybe the clock is one of those military type 24 hour clocks and therefore would only be right once a day. If you recognize yourself in the previous sentence, next time that you have a similar thought after someone shares a joke or gag with you, please keep the thought to yourself. It really sucks the life out of comedy. I've had experiences with such people (mostly in progressive circles) and they were awkward and unpleasant. Sometimes it is okay just to laugh at the joke and not think about it too much and then move on.

I wonder if the gags come easily to Carillo or does it take a bit of work? Sort of in the way that most of us are capable of running but it is harder for some than others.

I did think of a second nerdy "Yo Mama" joke. The contest is still open if someone comes up with something funnier. No, I won't share mine until the comic is posted or someone has something funnier.

Details, little details...

You can order that arrangement from 1-800-flowers. Drew made the right choice in choosing Vera over Dawn, too bad he screwed up the dumping of Dawn and pissed off Vera. Perhaps, Vera should go out to dinner to deal with her anger. The Bum Boat?

-------------------------------------------------------------

I finally affixed my new vehicle registration decal on to my window. The 2008 decals have an opaque blue backing that says, "Love your state, check the date" I suppose this will serve as a reminder to Texas vehicle owners to keep their registrations up to date. Texans seem to respond to slogans. The success of the "Don't Mess with Texas" campaign has served as a model for other states in combating roadside littering. The people responsible for the "Love your state, check the date" campaign did not think things all the way through.

As stated earlier, the new stickers have an opaque blue backing. Opaque to the driver. The previous designs are semi-transparent. A driver could glance over to the corner of the window and see the numbers and be reminded of their registration due date. That is how I remembered to renew my registration. I saw a 9 and 07, a backwards 9 and 07 but I could still read it. My inspection sticker has a 12 and 7 thus reminding me that I need to have my vehicle inspected in December. The new registration sticker design has taken away that easy reminder. It also takes away the "oh damn" exclamation, when a law enforcement officer has informed you that you were pulled over for an expired registration. Now I have to look at my front window from the outside. I rarely approach my car from a direction which allows me to look at my front window.

Check out the commercial below to get a glimpse of the new backing and a comparison with the inspection sticker - the beauty queens commercial from the TxDOT website linked above has a clearer picture of the semi-transparent inspection sticker

"Put Texas in your corner", "Love your state, check the date" and pay attention to the little details in implementing your two-year bilingual media, public relations and community outreach campaign encouraging drivers to register their vehicles, especially those who might forget to register, not know how to register or not know the law.

Creep-o-meter

My running friends do not understand why I don't run in the early mornings. There are plenty of good reasons to do so but none of them sufficiently compelling enough for me to wake up so early. I will get up early if only there is a prospect of a nap soon afterwards. Otherwise, I'm just like Susan for the rest of the day.

Wilbur is climbing further and further up the creep-o-meter. Right now, he's at a 7.

It only takes four large muscles to bitch slap the cheerfulness out of a morning person. Working large muscle groups burns more calories.

Bonus avatar from Rex Morgan M.D.:

Exercise Log

This week I ran, walked and biked 23.2 miles, burned 2711.2 calories and weigh 177.2 pounds.

Tuesday: Bike - 2.13 miles in 15:00
Wednesday: Run - 10.08 miles in 2:03:40
Friday: Walk - 1.80 miles in 28:52
Saturday: Run - 9.19 miles in 1:43:00

Next week's training plan:
Monday - 30 minute run
Tuesday - cycling and strength training
Wednesday - tempo run - 3 miles at 10:39 - 5 miles total
Thursday - cycling and strength training
Friday - walk and pick up race packet
Saturday - Power Pedal Ride and Stride at Lake Bryan. I entered the 50K race.
Sunday - 3 mile Crop Walk - please sponsor me.

Saturday Evening Run

Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 358 ft Location: Bryan, TX Elev. Gain: -17 ft Date: 10/06/07 Up/Downhill: [+219/-236] Time: 06:26 PM Difficulty: 3.4 / 5.0 Weather: Mostly Cloudy 83F temp; 67% humidity 88F heat index; winds SE 6 Performance Distance: 9.19 miles Goal: 12' 23 min/mi pace for 9 miles Time: 1:43:00 Speed: 5.4 mph Attained: 106% Pace: 11' 12 /mi Calories: 1142 Notes Maybe the speed and tempo runs are finally affecting me. I felt good throughout this run. I was rather surprised at my first mile split. It did not feel like I ran that fast and I certainly did not feel like I was running that fast during miles 8 and 9. This was a great run. I do need to go the opposite direction if I do this route in the evening again. There were some rough patches that were tough to navigate in the dark. If I can do this during an entire marathon I will have one hell of a personal record. Elevation (ft.) Pace (min/mile) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 10' 38 -0' 34 5.6 +0.3 -13 ft 2 12' 13 +1' 01 4.9 -0.4 +3 ft 3 11' 30 +0' 18 5.2 -0.1 0 ft 4 11' 30 +0' 18 5.2 -0.1 +20 ft 5 11' 39 +0' 27 5.2 -0.2 -7 ft 6 11' 36 +0' 24 5.2 -0.2 -32 ft 7 12' 30 +1' 18 4.8 -0.6 +3 ft 8 9' 51 -1' 21 6.1 +0.7 +23 ft 9 9' 29 -1' 43 6.3 +1.0 -26 ft end 11' 24 +0' 12 5.3 -0.1 +13 ft Versus average of 11' 12 min/mi

Posted from bimactive.com

Crop Walk

The Unitarian Universalist Church of the Brazos Valley now has a Crop Walk Team on-line. Check it out at http://tinyurl.com/2gkpao

The stained glass image is from one of the windows in the church. Please sponsor either an individual team member or the team in general. 25% stays in the Brazos Valley (several counties in central Texas) and the rest goes to the Church World Service. The Unitarian Universalist Service Committee is part of the Church World Service. If you are of a different faith you can designate your donation to go to that faith's service/ aid society. One of my sponsors did.

The important thing here is helping fight world hunger and poverty.

One of the team members on-line is a young person and she does not have any sponsors yet. Help support Crop Walk and a young person trying to make a difference. Click on the link above and give.

Now a glimpse into the Lockhorns:
I kind of like Leroy's outfit. Even though it's out of style it's great that Leroy can still fit in it. Loretta should appreciate that even though Leroy was not a hunky man back then at least he has not gained a lot of weight.

Gag Writing Help

I've drawn a cartoon of two nerdy guys talking to each other. The caption is Nerd Yo Mama Jokes. I'm stuck and I need some help.

The first guy says, "Yo Mama is so fat, that when I ran past her I was slung 200 years into the past!"

The second guy responds, "Oh, yeah! Yo Mama is so (insert negative characteristic here) that (insert humorous metaphor here)"

In keeping with the spirit of the caption, the insulters and the first insult, the metaphor should be a bit of a sci-fi, comic or somewhat nerdy cultural or scientific reference. The first guy's insult is based on Star Trek physics (using the Earth's gravity to slingshot into the past).

The original version of the cartoon featured a fat person and someone saying that they need to go back in time so they will run by the fat person. Then it evolved into a guy saying the first insult to a second silent character but then I thought it would be funny to have the two nerdy guys trade "Yo Mama" insults.

So, I turn to you, the reader, for some help. Some of you are UUs and judging from some of the responses to Making Chutney's post http://www.makingchutney.com/2007/09/25/how-should-uus-take-names-in-vain/ a few of you have some nice comedic chops. We can make jokes about our religion and write our own material instead of letting Garrison Kiellor (not a UU) do all the work.

What's in it for you? One, the winning entry will see their wit on display in about two weeks when I actually post the cartoon. Two, the winner will receive credit on my page and in the cartoon itself. Three, the winner will have the original artwork for the cartoon sent to them. That's right, if you can finish my gag, you will receive the 8.5 x 11 inch piece of paper that I drew the cartoon on. The paper has my handwritten notes outside the border and an incomprehensible graph on the back. Everyone wins with their wit immortalized on my blog. UPDATE: Deadline - 2 weeks from the date on this blog entry. Send in the wit.

Please share your nerdy Yo Mama joke in the comments. My second person needs dialogue.

Thank you.

Wednesday Evening Run

Activity Route: -- Elev. Avg: 357 ft Location: Bryan, TX Elev. Gain: -33 ft Date: 10/03/07 Up/Downhill: [+249/-282] Time: 06:00 PM Difficulty: 3.5 / 5.0 Weather: Fair 84F temp; 47% humidity 85F heat index; winds Calm Performance Distance: 10.08 miles Goal: 12' 23 min/mi pace for 10 miles Time: 2:03:40 Speed: 4.9 mph Attained: 100% Pace: 12' 16 /mi Calories: 1300 Notes Amazing what a difference temperature makes. I needed this run after what happened on Sunday. I felt good. I hope conditions are mild on Saturday. I want to try another longer run before my 50K race and to reassure myself that I can go farther than 16.5 miles. Walter provided support for the last two miles when it got dark. 12:16 pace is my expected pace for the marathon. Elevation (ft.) Pace (min/mile) Splits Mile Pace (min/mile) Speed (mph) Elevation Gain actual +/- avg actual +/- avg 1 12' 10 -0' 06 4.9 +0.0 -16 ft 2 12' 02 -0' 14 5.0 +0.1 +6 ft 3 11' 48 -0' 28 5.1 +0.2 +6 ft 4 11' 00 -1' 16 5.5 +0.6 +13 ft 5 12' 33 +0' 17 4.8 -0.1 -14 ft 6 12' 33 +0' 17 4.8 -0.1 -3 ft 7 12' 28 +0' 12 4.8 -0.1 +10 ft 8 12' 31 +0' 15 4.8 -0.1 -13 ft 9 13' 23 +1' 07 4.5 -0.4 +3 ft 10 12' 14 -0' 02 4.9 +0.0 -23 ft end 11' 52 -0' 24 5.0 +0.2 +3 ft Versus average of 12' 16 min/mi

Posted from bimactive.com